It's Just Lola

by Dixiane Hallaj

  “Mama,” said Carlota from her seat on the bed.

  “Hi, Sweetie,” said Herman. “Can I get a smile today?”

  “So you came to visit Carlota?”

  “No, I came to put this over the porthole.” He held up a square of heavy black cloth with strings dangling around the edges. As he spoke he fastened the strings to hooks around the porthole that Lola had not noticed before. His deft fingers made it obvious he had done this often in the past. “We’re running dark tonight.”

  “What does that mean?” Lola’s mouth felt dry. She had a very good idea what it meant.

  “There was a ship too far away to identify, but the captain likes to err on the side of safety. We don’t even know if it was headed toward us or away from us, but we’re running dark anyway.”

  That night Lola spent more time listening to the sounds of the ship around her than sleeping. There were no voices, and even the throb of the engine seemed muted. When she did sleep, her dreams were disturbing. Sometimes she dreamed the ship slipped quietly into the water without waking anyone; sometimes she dreamed of rushing out on deck waving her letter of safe passage; once she dreamed Mehmet was swimming beside the ship. Each dream ended the same way—with her eyes flying open and her heart pounding. Only the peaceful even breathing of Carlota beside her convinced her that it was all a dream. At last she heard normal voices. Murmuring a brief prayer of thanks, she unfastened a section of the black cloth to bright sunshine.

  Later that morning she caught sight of Wulf talking to the captain and another officer. Lola was taken aback to see him looking haggard. She felt a chill as she realized she was not the only one who had experienced a sleepless night. Their serious faces underscored the immediacy of the war. Herman met her eyes over the captain’s shoulder and she could have sworn he winked at her. Wavering between shock and amusement, she looked away and busied herself with the children.

  The next night they again covered all portholes, sheltering behind a small offshore island rather than risk missing the narrow channel in the dark. Herman told her there were no more ship sightings, but their wireless operator had picked up a random transmission. It was merely a precaution. That night she started at every sound, but there were no more dreams. She didn’t see Wulf again until the following afternoon when he joined them as they were taking the air on deck.

  “Tomorrow we’ll be putting in to a rather nice town. I’d like to invite you all to dinner at the local hotel. The cook wants shore leave, and we all like to keep the cook happy.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Wulf. Under the circumstances, we’ll be pleased to accept your invitation.”

  On the way to the hotel restaurant, Herman stopped at a general store and bought each of the children two pieces of candy—one for now and one for later. Herman Wulf had acquired two devoted followers who watched his every move with worshipful eyes. When the walk proved too long for Joseph, Herman picked him up and put him on his shoulders, heedless of the sticky fingers in his hair.

  “You’ve bribed your way into the hearts of my children,” said Lola.

  “How is it that you’re so good with children?” asked Inez.

  “An advantage of growing up in a large family,” he said.

  “And are you this indulgent with your own children?”

  “I’m sure I will be. The only thing more wonderful than the laughter of a child is the love of a good woman.”

  Later that evening as Herman walked Lola and Carlota to their cabin, he thanked her for allowing him to accompany them. “You have beautiful children, Señora, exceeded only by the beauty of their mother.” Before Lola could reply, he disappeared down the passageway.

  The next day Herman appeared on deck as the family was admiring the scenery, Lola spoke to him quietly. “Mr. Wulf, I am very recently widowed. It isn’t proper that I should be seen in your company so frequently.”

  Herman’s wounded expression brought Lola close to laughter. “Madam, I’d never do anything to reflect poorly upon your conduct, although I must admit that I enjoy the time I spend in your company. The captain has assigned me the duty of making sure you have a pleasant journey. It’s my duty to take care of you all.”

  “Please give the captain my thanks and assure him that he needn’t disrupt his duty schedule on our account.”

  “If you find me unpleasant, he can assign someone else to you.”

  “No, we don’t find you unpleasant; quite the contrary,” said Lola with a laugh, “but you must have other duties that need your attention. I can’t believe the captain ordered you to be our guardian.”

  Wulf looked down at his shoes. “He said it would mean my job if he heard a single word of complaint from our passengers.” He looked up with a grin. “Therefore, it’s my duty to insure you have a pleasant trip with no complaints.” He bowed slightly and excused himself.

  “I can’t imagine what Secretary Smythe could have said to make the captain treat us like fragile porcelain,” Lola wondered aloud one evening as the two women were sitting and talking.

  Inez laughed heartily. “Lola, for a woman who’s been widowed twice, you’re really naïve. Do you seriously think Mr. Wulf is following you around like a lost lamb because the captain ordered him to do it?”

  Lola looked at her friend in consternation. “But he said—”

  “He said the captain would fire him if you complained. The man is hopelessly smitten with you, Lola.”

  “No, you’re mistaken. He enjoys being with the children. It must be very difficult being at sea all the time and having no time with one’s family,” Lola smiled at Inez, “and even you must admit that he makes the journey more pleasant.”

  “I suppose you’re right. Once we reach Peru, he’ll get back on his ship and sail away with no harm done.” Inez shook her head. “However, heed my words and be careful. Breaking the man’s heart would be poor repayment for his pleasant company on this journey.”

  It gave Lola a warm feeling to think that Wulf might have feelings for her. There may have been little passion in James, but he was a good husband and had provided for their future. Unfortunately, that was all she knew. She had no idea what those provisions were.

  “Inez, are you sure your sister won’t mind if you show up on her doorstep with all of us?”

  “I’m positive. She has a large house and she’ll be happy to have children around her again. Her children are grown and gone. She’ll love having you and it’ll be the perfect solution for you while you settle your affairs and decide what to do next.”

  Lola frowned. What was she going to do next? Without some clue about inheritance, she could not make any plans.

  XV. August, 1915: Lola Age 21

  Lola was smiling as she bounced along in the carriage with Carlota on her lap. Estela was squeezed between herself and Inez, who was holding Joseph. The ubiquitous Mr. Wulf was sitting next to the driver and their belongings were stacked wherever they would fit. Inez had tried to dissuade Herman from coming along, but he insisted he would do porter duty and make sure they reached the house safely.

  “It seems strange,” Lola said to Inez, “when I lived in Lima with James, I never thought of it as home. Now I’m pleased to be back.”

  “We aren’t in Lima yet. The port is in Callao, but the two cities run together.” A few minutes later Inez said, “This is the street. My sister’s house is just a few...” She stopped in mid-sentence and her face got pale. As the carriage slowed, she thrust Joseph at Lola and fumbled frantically at the door. Before the carriage had come to a stop she flung the door open and leaped out, running up the steps to a door hung with black crepe. Someone within had died.

  Lola wanted to run and comfort her friend, but she had two children in her lap and the third was clutching her skirt, frightened by her governess’ behavior. She watched as the door opened and a uniformed maid literally pulled Inez into the house with a loud cry. “Thank the Blessed Virgin! It’s a miracle you came today! Your sister is overcome with grief!”


  Lola’s breath whooshed out in relief. It wasn’t the sister who died. She knew Inez could cope with anything else. Herman and the driver had gotten down from their seat and Lola called Herman. “We can’t impose on hospitality at a time like this. Please, let the driver remove only the trunk that belongs to Inez. We’ll go to a hotel.” Herman and the driver wrestled the large steamer trunk through the door and returned to the carriage. The driver clucked to the horses and the carriage began to move again.

  “Where’re we going, Mama?” asked Estela.

  “To a hotel.”

  “Will it have a place to eat?” asked Joseph. “I’m hungry.”

  “You’re always hungry,” said Estela.

  “Am not.”

  “Are too.”

  “Children, let’s see how many automobiles we can see.”

  “One…two,” Lola smiled as Estela began counting in English.

  “…free…four,” said Joseph proudly.

  “When did you learn to count in English?”

  “Uncle Herman taught me.”

  “When did he do that?”

  “When he showed me the engines on the ship and he showed me where real sailors sleep and we talked to the boat-sun and he let me blow his whistle.”

  “He wouldn’t let me go,” said Estela with a pout. He said only boys can go in the crew’s quarters. I had to stay with Señorita Inez.” She turned to her brother. “What’s a boat-sun?”

  “I dunno. Mebbe he makes light when they run dark. You know, like the sun but only for the boat,” said Joseph.

  “Is that right, Mama?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I’m gonna ask Uncle Herman.”

  “You both should call him Mr. Wulf.” Before the children could protest, the carriage came to a stop. “Where’s the hotel?” Lola stepped out of the carriage and looked around. The driver was already unloading their baggage.

  “You’re going to stay with some friends of mine for now,” said Wulf with a grin. “They’ll be happy to watch the children if you have errands to run, and it’s a pleasant place to live.”

  Lola was aghast. “How can you invite me to someone else’s home?” She was interrupted by a cheerful booming voice.

  “Boat-sun,” said Joe as he struggled to free his hand from Lola’s.

  “Señora, welcome to our little home. Please come in.” The man picked up a trunk and swung it easily to his shoulder. “We can’t have you standing out in the street. Come in, come in.”

  Lola had no choice but to follow her luggage into the house. At least they seemed to be welcome. She was shown a room off a central courtyard. Wulf explained that the house was home to several families, and each one had a room. They shared the kitchen and bathroom. Lola thought it must have been lovely when the garden was tended, but the high traffic had beaten the earth into a hard surface. One room was furnished as a parlor, but most of the living was done in the courtyard.

  That night Lola put the children to bed and joined the adults. She’d never seen such a carefree group of people. The conversation was lively and filled with laughter.

  “I’m the bosun’s wife, Maggie,” said one of the women. “Wulf says you have affairs to settle. I want you to know you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. Your youngsters will be safe with us while you run your errands. Don’t you worry about a thing. As long as you want us, we’ll be your family.” She patted Lola’s hand. “That’s the way we are. Our men go off to sea and we stick together and help each other.”

  “Hey, Maggie,” the bosun interrupted the conversation, “come have a drink with your thirsty husband.” The woman laughed and held out her hand to her husband. “But when they get home, it’s party time.”

  The next morning the men were gone. “Did they sail already?” Lola was disappointed to think Wulf had left without saying good-bye.

  “No, they’ll be here about a week, doing maintenance on the ship, provisioning for the next trip, and getting new contracts. They’ll be back this evening.” It reassured Lola that Wulf would be returning later that day. Everyone was very pleasant, and after sitting and talking with the women, she felt comfortable leaving her own children with them.

  Her first stop was the Central Bank. She knew James had an account there, and she needed to look into it. The bank building looked very imposing, almost forbidding. Lola had never been in a bank; banks were a province of men. She put on her “great lady” personality, silently thanking her older sisters for showing her how it was done. She asked to speak to a manager and was shown into an office. The mask wavered when the bank manager said her name was not on the account and, although her passport identified her as the wife of James Atkins, she had not presented official proof of her husband’s demise.

  “I have nothing in writing. I was notified in person by an official of the Chilean National Railway.” Lola took a lace handkerchief out of her handbag and dabbed at a stray tear. “There wasn’t a proper funeral. My husband was buried in a rock slide. I didn’t even get to pay my final respects. It was so very sudden and unexpected.” She reached into her purse again and withdrew her letter requesting safe passage.

  “Minister Stronge of the British Embassy gave me his condolences in person as well. He was informed of the accident by the Minister of Foreign Affairs. Minister Stronge gave me this letter to ease my journey to Peru. The Embassy arranged passage for myself and my children.” Although her tears may have been helpful, Lola was sure it was the mention of two Ministers in the space of one sentence that bent the rules slightly in her favor.

  “In view of the circumstances, perhaps we can accept something other than an official government document. Perhaps a letter from the British Embassy?” He cleared his throat. “I’m sure you understand our position. The Bank must protect itself from possible fraud. Of course, I understand your position as well, but that’s the best I can do.”

  “Thank you, Señor…Fernandez,” said Lola, reading the nameplate on the desk. She dabbed at her eyes one more time and left the office. She found a carriage for hire and went to the British Embassy. She was soon talking with Secretary Smythe’s counterpart in Peru. Unfortunately, he said he would have to communicate with someone in Chile to confirm her story before giving her the requested letter. From the Embassy, she went to give her condolences to Inez and her sister. She assured Inez that she and the children had found a suitable place to stay before bidding a tearful farewell to her friend.

  That night she told Wulf of the events of the day. The bosun and Maggie invited Lola to stay as long as she liked.

  “I hate to impose, but I’m sure it’ll only be a few days until my late husband’s death is confirmed to the bank’s satisfaction.” Maggie said she welcomed the company, and her children were delighted to have Estela and Joseph around.

  The bosun nodded. “Now you have the blessings of both halves of the house.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The house is as much Wulf’s as it is ours. We could never have bought it without his help. He’s a good person and a good friend. I’m only the fourth mate on this ship, but your chap’s a proper officer—with navigator’s papers. Him and me, we’ve shipped out together for quite a few years. We come down from the U.S.together and liked it here. I found my Maggie and now here we are.”

  Lola was taken aback by his characterization of Wulf as “her chap.” Had she shown that she enjoyed his attentions? She would have to be more careful to act as a recent widow should—and she needed to leave as soon as possible. Wulf made her have feelings that were not suitable. She prayed that James had left her enough to find a place to live near Enriqueta, maybe even buy a place big enough for both of them. Going back to the plantation wasn’t an option—Jacoba had closed that door. Her father may believe he could control Jacoba, but Juan didn’t agree, and Lola couldn’t risk her children’s lives. She just had to stay here long enough to settle her business.

  Two days later Wulf took Lola to the parlor. “I thought
I’d surprise you with an English tea. I heard you were partial to Earl Grey.”

  “What a nice surprise. I haven’t found my way to the market yet.”

  “Lola, I wanted to talk to you before I ship out. I want you to be here when I get back.”

  “You’ll probably be back before the Embassy gets an answer.”

  “Lola, I’m serious. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen; you have the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen. I don’t want to come back and not find you.”

  Lola’s breath came in short little gulps of air and her heart was beating wildly. This was wrong. She shouldn’t be here; she shouldn’t be listening; she should be wearing black so everyone would know she was in mourning and act accordingly. This wasn’t loyal to James. He’d been a good man, and she wasn’t being loyal to him. She shouldn’t sit so close to this man who made her heart pump so hard she got lightheaded. She forced herself out of the chair.

  “Mr. Wulf, you shouldn’t be talking to me like this. I’m still in mourning.” She walked over to the door and opened it. She returned and sat in a chair that was farther away from Wulf.

  “Please, I told you the day we met to call me Herman. I know I’m rushing you, but please, please think about it. I understand you’re still in mourning, but would your late husband want you to be all alone in this world? Would he want your children to be without a father to provide for them and protect them? All I ask is that you think about it. I’ll be here when you’re finished mourning.”

  “I’ll think about it.” Lola reached for her cup. “Shall we drink our tea?” Herman gave her a heart-warming smile, or maybe it was a heart-beat-faster smile.

  “At least that’s not a no.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Weeks passed and life settled into a routine. Every week Lola went to the Embassy and every week she was told there was no answer from Chile. While it was very frustrating, part of her was pleased to be forced into waiting for Wulf to return. The truth was that she missed his cheerful presence.