Moxy Maxwell Does Not Love Practicing the Piano (But She Does Love Being in Recitals)

by Peggy Gifford

“150 Cupcakes Made by 1 Mother in 183 Minutes,” by Mark Maxwell.

  chapter 18

  In Which Something

  Smashes to the Floor

  and Breaks into

  Smithereens

  Moxy went directly to the cupboard to get the jar of Green Grass Power Shake powder.

  But it wasn’t there. It wasn’t on the first shelf, where it belonged. It wasn’t on the second shelf, where it didn’t belong. It was on the highest shelf, where it had never been before.

  “Mark, could you please get the Green Grass Power Shake powder down?” asked Moxy.

  But Mark just stood there taking pictures of cupcakes, which is why it wasn’t Moxy’s fault she had to climb up on the counter. And reach a little higher than her comfort zone. And grab the jar of Green Grass Power Shake powder.

  Just as it wasn’t her fault when the Green Grass Power Shake powder slipped a little from her grip, bounced briefly on the counter, and exploded on the kitchen floor (taking down seven marshmallow-frosted cupcakes with it).

  chapter 19

  In Which the

  Question “How Green

  Was the Green Grass

  Power Shake Powder?”

  Is Answered

  The Green Grass Power Shake powder was

  a great and gorgeous green

  a lean

  mean

  light bright

  just right

  traffic light

  shade of green.

  And the Green Grass Power Shake powder was, well, it was everywhere. It was on the floor and on the counter and sifting through the air. And when the air cleared, Moxy could see that the Green Grass Power Shake powder was all over her mother’s hair.

  Here is a picture Mark miraculously took of the Green Grass Power Shake explosion just as it went off.*

  “Why, Mother!” said Moxy after the green dust had cleared. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

  * I think Mark used a Canon ZX with 1,873-mph-speed film and an aperture opening of just under 1 million to catch the Green Grass Power Shake powder in midair.

  chapter 20

  What Mrs. Maxwell

  Said to Moxy Next—

  a Short Quiz for

  the Reader

  Q: What did Mrs. Maxwell say to Moxy next?

  (Circle one)

  1. “Oh, Moxy, sweetheart, are you hurt?”

  2. “Don’t worry, I had to wash my hair anyway—after all, today is your big day!”

  3. “Darling, let me clean up this unavoidable mess while you go upstairs and warm up your voice in case they ask you to sing tonight.”

  4. None of the above.

  chapter 21

  In Which We Learn

  the Correct Answer

  to the Quiz

  And the correct answer is: 4!

  chapter 22

  In Which We Pause

  for a Chapter to Give

  Those of You

  Who Guessed the

  Right Answer

  an Opportunity to

  (Briefly)

  Congratulate

  Yourselves

  chapter 23

  What Mrs. Maxwell

  Really Said Next

  OR

  The Amazing Mind

  of a Tired Mother

  Who Is Not Too Tired

  to Focus

  Even though there was Green Grass Power Shake powder in her hair and on her sweatshirt and all over her bunny slippers (with the happy exception of one left ear), Mrs. Maxwell said nothing about it. Instead, Mrs. Maxwell said, “Where’s the note from Ms. Killingher, Moxy?”

  chapter 24

  About the Hum

  in the House

  Have you ever noticed how sometimes houses have hums running through them? You can’t really hear a Hum in a House. But you know it’s there—sort of the way you know that your own heart is beating—even if you’re not exactly listening. It happens when everyone in the house is happy.

  And just before Moxy spilled the Green Grass Power Shake powder all over her mother, everyone in the Maxwell house was happy.

  Pansy was in Moxy’s room trying on one of the glitter crowns that Moxy had made for them to wear at their piano recital tonight. She was humming “Heart and Soul.”

  Granny George was happy. She was at her sewing machine out on the porch, enjoying the slight (5 mph) spring breeze coming from the northeast. She had almost finished stitching the red satin linings into the black velvet capes she was making for Moxy and Pansy to wear.

  And Ajax was happy. He was in his office muttering “Beak like a broad-head spear—The Elephant Bird, the Elephant Bird—Had nobody else to …”

  Here’s a photograph Mark took of Ajax trying to figure out what the last word of the second verse of “The Elephant Bird” should be. He called it “The Thinker.”

  “The Thinker,” by Mark Maxwell.

  (This photograph, by the way, was so good—as you can see—that Ajax later used it on the back cover of his book. It is reprinted here with Mark’s permission and a fee of four dollars.)

  Happy too was Aunt Susan Standish. She was upstairs making the soft, happy sounds a person who has on a white satin sleeping mask makes when she or he is having a good dream.

  And Mark was happy. He was wandering around the house taking pictures of everyone else. And taking pictures of everyone else was what made Mark happiest.

  chapter 25

  In Which We Resume

  Our Story Where

  We Left Off, Before

  All That Business

  About Hums

  “Where’s the note from Ms. Killingher, Moxy?” Mrs. Maxwell said again. She said it so loudly that the hum in the house turned into a buzz.

  “Note?” said Moxy casually. She said it as if someone had asked her to pass the salt. “Oh, you must mean the note from Ms. Killingher. It’s got to be here somewhere.”

  chapter 26

  In Which Moxy Tries

  to Remember Where

  She Put the Note

  Moxy called out to her stepfather. “Ajax?” she said. “Did I give you that note Ms. Killingher sent home with me while Mother was in Africa?”

  “The Elephant Bird, the Elephant Bird had nobody else to … Had nobody else to … Had nobody else to—”

  “Hello, Ajax,” said Moxy. Suddenly she was standing in his doorway.

  “The Elephant Bird, the Elephant Bird had nobody else to … Had nobody else to … Had nobody else to—”

  “I’m sorry, darling,” interrupted Mrs. Maxwell. Now she was standing in the doorway next to Moxy. “I know your editor expected ‘The Elephant Bird’ yesterday. And you’ve been so understanding—taking complete care of the children and the house and everything else while I dashed off to Africa at the last minute. But Moxy is under the impression she gave you a note from Ms. Killingher last week.”

  “Note?” said Ajax. He had heard the word recently—he just couldn’t remember where.

  “I’m not absolutely, positively, one hundred percent certain I gave it to him,” said Moxy.

  Mrs. Maxwell looked at her sharply. “Yes or no?” she said.

  “Possibly,” said Moxy.

  chapter 27

  In Which There Is

  a Surprise

  Here is the surprise: Pansy arrived.

  “I found the note!” she cried.

  Pansy had been hanging out halfway down and halfway up the stairs when she heard Mrs. Maxwell ask Moxy where the note was. It had been easy for Pansy to find the note because Pansy had the note. Pansy kept everything Moxy lost, in case Moxy couldn’t find it.

  For her part, Moxy was in shock—she was sure she’d lost the note way better than that.

  Pansy proudly presented the envelope with the note in it to Mrs. Maxwell.

  chapter 28

  In Which We See

  THE ENVELOPE

  … and THE ENVELOPE, please

  It was very scary. The letters alone, as y
ou can see from the photograph Mark took, were quite black and thick, and the penmanship was nothing less than excellent. Even Mrs. Maxwell was nervous about opening it.

  chapter 29

  In Which We Learn

  What Was Inside

  THE ENVELOPE

  Inside THE ENVELOPE was the note.

  chapter 30

  In Which We Learn

  What the Note Said

  Let us read the note silently to ourselves as Mrs. Maxwell reads aloud:

  Dear Mrs. Maxwell,

  I regret to inform you that your daughter Moxy A. Maxwell does not stop playing “Heart and Soul” when she reaches the end. She just plays on and on. Unpleasant news to your ears, no doubt, but there it is.

  I don’t think it would be fair to the rest of my students to include her in the recital if she can’t play the song the way it’s meant to be played.

  It is very important that Moxy practice hard at stopping this week.

  After all, the Killingher School for Piano and Bass must maintain the standard of excellence it has come to represent to this entire community—indeed, this entire suburb!

  I have always believed that practice makes perfect, but in the case of Moxy, I may be wrong.

  Regretfully,

  Corinne Killingher

  P.S. Would you also please see if you can do something about the pounding?

  “Moxy,” said Mrs. Maxwell, “do you stop playing ‘Heart and Soul’ when you reach the end?”

  “Well, ‘Heart and Soul’ is such a short song,” said Moxy. “If I play it the regular way it doesn’t give me much time to be onstage.” “Moxy, will you stop playing your part of ‘Heart and Soul’ when you get to the end tonight?” asked Mrs. Maxwell.

  chapter 31

  In Which, for the

  Second Time in Three

  Books, Moxy Is Saved

  by the Bell

  “Saved by the bell” means the phone rings just as you’re trying to think of a good answer for a tough question.

  Then the phone rang. And Mrs. Maxwell, who was so close to it that the left ear of her right bunny slipper was flopped over the receiver, answered.

  “Hello,” managed Mrs. Maxwell.

  It was Ms. Killingher.

  Mrs. Maxwell slid down the hall wall and came to a stop, stooping on her bunny slippers.

  Instead of saying “Hello,” Ms. Killingher said, “We must have been disconnected.”

  “I’m very sorry,” said Mrs. Maxwell. “But I just read the note. You see, I’ve been in Africa all week taking care of my sister. She fell off a ladder while she was feeding a giraffe.”

  Mrs. Maxwell definitely sounded like Moxy, thought Ms. Killingher, not for the first time. Moxy often had odd reasons for not practicing the piano.

  Naturally, Ms. Killingher said how sorry she was to hear about Mrs. Maxwell’s sister. And that she hoped she was on the mend. And all the sorts of things you say when someone’s sister has fallen off a ladder while feeding a giraffe.

  Then Ms. Killingher said, “Will Moxy be able to stop playing her part of ‘Heart and Soul’ when she reaches the end tonight?”

  chapter 32

  The Moment of Truth

  Mrs. Maxwell put her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and said, “Ms. Killingher wants to know if you’ll stop playing your part of ‘Heart and Soul’ when you get to the end tonight.”

  “Yes,” said Moxy, “but—”

  But before Moxy could say “but I’ve never done it before,” her mother said, “She will!” to Ms. Killingher, thus putting an end to this chapter.

  chapter 33

  Trouble

  “Well then …,” said Mrs. Maxwell after she hung up with Ms. Killingher.

  “Well then,” Moxy sighed, “I guess I’d better get out there.” Moxy pointed toward the front porch.

  “You aren’t going anywhere,” said Mrs. Maxwell, “until I’ve heard you and Pansy play ‘Heart and Soul’ the way it’s supposed to be played.”

  “But we can’t play ‘Heart and Soul’ until the Big Dress Rehearsal.”

  Moxy had experience with dress rehearsals. When she played the part of Cottage Cheese in her second-grade Food Group play, they’d had a dress rehearsal just before the actual performance. And everyone had to put on their costumes. Then they practiced the whole play. Just as if the audience were in the room.

  “Let’s have the dress rehearsal now!” said Mrs. Maxwell.

  “But our outfits aren’t ready,” said Moxy. “We can’t have a real dress rehearsal without them.”

  “Of course they’re ready,” replied Mrs. Maxwell. “I had your pink gobs-of-glitter dress pressed before I left. And Pansy’s yellow buttercup dress is in the hall closet.”

  “I don’t mean our dresses,” said Moxy. “I mean the Surprise Part of our outfits.”

  Mrs. Maxwell yawned. “When will the Surprise Part of your outfits be ready?” she asked.

  It was an excellent question as far as Moxy was concerned. It meant she got to go out on the porch and ask Granny George when the capes they had been working on all week would be done, which meant she got to leave the room.

  “I’ll go ask Granny George,” said Moxy.

  chapter 34

  In Which Moxy

  Arrives on the Porch

  Just in Time to Stop

  Granny George from

  Finishing the Capes

  Granny George didn’t need an extension cord for her sewing machine. That’s because it didn’t run on electricity. It ran on Granny George’s foot. So when Moxy walked out onto the porch and tapped Granny George on the left shoulder, Granny George took her right foot off the pedal and the sewing machine stopped.

  “The cape is smashing,” Moxy said to Granny George. “May I try it on?”

  chapter 35

  In Which Moxy Is

  Grateful to Herself

  for Being So Thorough

  The moment she put the cape on, Moxy was glad she’d taken the time to do it—because two things were wrong:

  1. The gold glitter that spelled out Moxy’s name in big letters across the back was starting to flake off.

  2. Now that it was almost done, Moxy could tell that the whole thing would benefit from a bit of ermine fur trim.

  In case you don’t know what real ermine fur trim looks like, here is a photograph of the real Miss America cape so you can see for yourself. The girl in the picture is Moxy’s great-great-grandmother. She is standing on a crate. Her name was also Moxy, by the way.

  chapter 36

  In Which Mark

  Delivers a Surprising

  Message for Moxy

  Just then Mark came out on the porch with a surprising message for Moxy.

  “Mom wants you to start practicing ‘Heart and Soul’—now!” he said.

  But Moxy wasn’t listening—she was mulling. She was mulling over the ermine fur problem. You see, Moxy believed it was wrong to hurt animals in order to make fur coats. The problem was that Moxy liked the ermine fur look. What she was trying to figure out now was how to find seven or eight yards of high-quality fake ermine fur this late in the day.

  chapter 37

  In Which Pansy

  Follows Mark Out to

  the Porch

  “Mom said you have to get in there and play ‘Heart and Soul’ now,” said Pansy when she stepped out on the porch. Pansy’s eyes were open very wide, though not quite as wide as saucers. They looked more like—no, they looked exactly like this picture Mark took of her:

  “Eyes Not As Wide As Saucers,” by Mark Maxwell.

  But Moxy wasn’t listening. Moxy wasn’t listening because she had just had an important breakthrough idea about how to manufacture fake ermine fur this late in the day. And it is a well-established fact that when Moxy Maxwell is having an important breakthrough idea, she can’t think of anything else.

  chapter 38

  What Moxy Did Next

  “Pansy,” Moxy said, “wo
uld you please run in and get the permanent black Magic Marker off Ajax’s desk? Oh, and on your way back, would you mind grabbing your pink paper-doll scissors?

  “And Mark,” continued Moxy, “would you please go up to the guest room bathroom and get two of the old white guest towels and bring them down here ASAP?”

  Pansy nodded, but her mouth said, “But Mom says we have to play ‘Heart and Soul’ now.”

  chapter 39

  Which Begins:

  Suddenly Mudd Was

  Barking

  Suddenly Mudd was barking.

  Mudd was Moxy’s very nice, not too bright, part German shepherd, part Lab, and part himself dog, and he was

  “Stop barking!” commanded Moxy.

  The reason Mudd was barking was that he wanted everyone to know that Sam was standing outside the porch door.

  “Sam! Thank goodness you’re here!” Moxy called out.

  “Is that your cape?” said Sam.

  Moxy twirled around a couple of times so that Sam could admire it.

  “Some of the glitter is coming off,” said Sam. He was only six. But he paid such close attention to details that you would have thought he was seven.

  “It just needs a little fake ermine fur trim and it will be très élégante,” replied Moxy. (Mark had been teaching Moxy a new French word every day for the last three days and now she was almost 100% bilingual. She could work “très” and “oui” and “non” into almost any English sentence.)