A Fine Line: A Pride & Prejudice Variation

by Erin Butler

  He asked her as much, and she turned toward him, her face a mask of neutrality. “I have been to some London shops, but never before on this street. I do not believe I have ever seen quite so many people in one place either. I know perhaps that makes me a simpleton to your eyes, but it is only because I live in a small town compared to London.”

  Mr. Darcy shook his head as the party moved down the street led by Bingley and Miss Bennet. “Not at all. You forget Pemberley is in the country. Every time I come to London I have to readjust to it as well. It can be quite overbearing when one is used to stretches of fields and trees. To return to buildings as far as the eye can see can be unnerving.”

  Elizabeth eyed him. “I am not sure what has gotten into you, Mr. Darcy. I do hope that you are not here to ruin this outing for them.” She took one glance at her sister walking ahead of her and then stopped, pulling Mr. Darcy to a halt beside her. “My sister Jane is very happy to be here and is teeming with happiness over Mr. Bingley’s generosity. I hope that you are not here to wield your insufferable opinions regarding her and my family. I would hate to have you devastate Jane when she is so very happy today. In fact, if that is your scheme, I beg you to return to the carriage.”

  Though just words, they cut Mr. Darcy like an unsharpened knife. Ragged holes chinked his armor. Was he so dreadful as to further the opinion that he would try to ruin the shopping trip? Of course he was. Everything he had spoken to Elizabeth before had been about separating Bingley from her sister. They had declared their different opinions and said that nothing would stop them from making them happen.

  Ashamed at himself, Darcy shook his head and swallowed. “I am here merely to accompany my friend and his intended on their shopping trip for wedding clothes. My sister’s birthday is in a couple months and I will be on the lookout for something for her. I found this morning that I would rather accompany Bingley than stay at home. That is all. I have no ulterior motive in coming here today and if I ever gave you the impression otherwise, I heartily apologize to you, Miss Bennet.”

  Elizabeth still eyed him. Her gazed raked over him as if she were trying to make him out.

  “To you, I have always been truthful, Miss Elizabeth. Perhaps too much so.”

  “I know,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “That is what confuses me.”

  He had no way to help her understand him either when he barely understood it himself. He was not ready to say he was wrong in wanting to separate the two even though he could readily admit that was not his aim anymore.

  He motioned ahead of them and they once again began walking down the street. Bingley and Miss Bennet were a half a block ahead of them. Too busy with one another, they had yet to notice that their companions had fallen behind. By the time Jane expressed an interest in going into one of the shops, they had already caught up with them.

  Darcy watched as Elizabeth and her sister admired the fabric in the shops and looked at dress patterns. Jane hung from Bingley’s arm, but Darcy was determined to stay back and just observe. It would be a lie if he said he did not feel a little out of place. He certainly did not think he would ever be accompanying his friend and his bride to search out wedding clothes. If it were not for the bride’s sister, he would not be.

  After they had left the third shop, Elizabeth looked up at Darcy as they walked together. “What is it that you are looking to purchase for your sister?”

  He had seen a few things that Georgiana would like as they were out, but nothing that called to him to purchase for her. He was not so sure as what he wanted to get her either. Before he could say he did not know, the picture of Elizabeth he held in his mind when they went to the Phillips’s house in Meryton sprung into his mind. She had worn a beautiful comb in her hair. Georgiana would look well in a comb like that. He smiled. “Do you remember the comb you wore to your aunt and uncle Phillips’s house? I should like to get Georgiana something like that. Maybe even a brush to go with it.”

  “Yes, I know the comb you speak of. It was my grandmother’s comb. I am sure you can find something here. I believe they sell sets as well where the brush and comb match.”

  “That sounds lovely.”

  She smiled up at him briefly as they continued to walk down the congested London walk. “How did you like my aunt, Mr. Darcy?”

  “Very well,” he answered. “She seems a genteel sort of lady. It is too bad your uncle was not there. I should have liked to have met him as well.”

  “When you come to dinner, you shall meet him. I confess that I was hoping you would meet them. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner are very dear to me.”

  Darcy glanced down to find Elizabeth staring at the hem of her dress. He took her statement to mean she felt more comfortable around her aunt and uncle then perhaps around her own parents. He did not wonder at it if this was what she meant to say without really saying it. “Their children are so well behaved.”

  Elizabeth laughed, the sound music to his ears. “That they are. Most of the time. They are sweet creatures, to be sure. If I should rear kids like theirs, I would be very happy. The Gardiner’s are patient and kind with them, but also strict when they need to be. I suppose it is all about making sure they see the right amount of discipline with the right amount of love.” She laughed to herself, a low chuckle. “Not that you care to hear me go on about such things, but I have often wondered—.” She took a breath. “Well, I have often wondered what they did differently than my parents did with my younger sisters.”

  Darcy colored at her statement. Not because it was not true. It was evident to anyone who had the chance of knowing both families that one was drastically different from the other, but because it must have taken a great deal of shame to say the words. He was not so sure he would ever be able to talk so freely about his shortcomings.

  He struggled with something to say. The longer the pause went by without his acknowledgment of what he heard, the more awkward it became. “N-not that I am an expert on the subject, Miss Bennet, but I believe you are correct. There must be just the right amount of everything in order to raise a child correctly. I was given principles when I was younger and I assure you, my parents were the greatest of persons, but I admit that sometimes my judgments can be a little harsh.”

  He cleared his throat after the words left his mouth. Silence fell between them. Thankfully, Miss Bennet pointed to the next shop, and they were saved from having to answer one another for the time being on that subject. “Perhaps you can help me pick out a nice comb for Georgiana,” Darcy said as they walked inside.

  She smiled up at him. “I should like that.”

  Her eyes had softened toward him. He had appreciated the passion in her eyes when the argued, but it was another thing all together to be looked upon by Miss Bennet with an air of appreciation. The breath left his lungs, and he found himself searching for something to replace it with. She turned away, and he felt lost.

  He knew, right then, that he would not be happy until Miss Bennet looked upon him with those same soft eyes and beautiful smile for every day of his life.

  Chapter Nine

  Elizabeth held one of her sister’s new boxes to her chest on the carriage ride home to the Gardiner’s. Inside was a beautiful white bonnet with lace trim. The gentleman had told her they could put it atop the carriage, but Elizabeth was sure it would get ruined up there. Besides, she did not mind holding it in her lap. It would give her fingers something to do besides trembling.

  Mr. Darcy had so much altered since she last spoke with him regarding her sister and Bingley. He may, she hated to even think it herself, but she noticed a difference in the way he presented himself to her as well. He was happy. He spoke in a way to give her joy as well.

  Beside her on the carriage seat, Mr. Darcy held a bag. Inside was the present she helped him pick out for his sister’s birthday. It was a beautiful comb and brush set lined in pearls and made of the most beautiful hand-carved ivory she had ever seen. The comb she wore to the Phillips’s house, though it was
her grandmother’s, paled in comparison. His sister was a very lucky girl to have a brother care that much for her.

  When they arrived back at Gracechurch Street, the gentleman only came in for a short while as they had been previously engaged for a visit to a friend while they were in town. To her surprise, Elizabeth hated to see Darcy leave. She felt almost alone without him there. She tried to join in on the conversation while Jane described the dress she had commissioned a seamstress to make for her wedding. As soon as they both saw the pattern, they knew it was the dress for Jane. It was simply elegant. It was not too fancy, but just elegant enough that it was far from plain to Jane’s usual dresses, but nothing that would make Jane blush to wear. It was perfect.

  Elizabeth smiled as Jane showed off her other gifts from Mr. Bingley including the new bonnet. Aunt Gardiner cooed in all the right places and even their younger daughters were filled with the excitement of love. The youngest of them all declared that she wanted a Mr. Bingley for herself when she was older and she would make him buy her a white pony with a purple saddle.

  After they all laughed at that, Mr. Gardiner finally came home and talks began of holding a party at Gracechurch Street to celebrate Jane’s engagement and to introduce Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy to the Gardiner’s friends. Jane was excited for the idea, but made them promise that the focus would not be on her all evening. As soon as they consented, Mr. Gardiner took to writing the letters of invitation to the agreed upon recipients. Since Jane and Elizabeth were not to stay in London for too long, they agreed on a date in three days’ time.

  Later that night, Elizabeth and Jane sat on the bed in the room they were given while they stayed at their aunt and uncles. Jane had the white bonnet in her hand, still admiring it. Elizabeth could not blame her. It was the most beautiful bonnet she had ever seen. Finally, Jane stowed it away and placed the box back on the small desk in the corner of the room. She slipped into bed and turned toward Elizabeth who was drying her hair close to the fire. “You and Mr. Darcy spoke often today. I had almost gotten the sense that you did not like him at all, but you seemed different around him today.”

  Elizabeth bit her lip. She would not tell Jane what Darcy had promised to do, especially since it did not seem as if that was his goal anymore. She could not explain to her why she did not like Mr. Darcy before, but she could tell her sister what her feelings were for him now. “I confess I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed his company today. He seemed much altered to me than when we had been together at Longbourn.”

  Jane propped herself up on her elbow and laid her head in the cup of her hand. “We must allow Mr. Darcy to have come from a great family. Charles—” She smiled, and the color rose to her cheeks. “—Mr. Bingley says that his estate in Derbyshire is the finest he has ever seen. I am sure Longbourn, no matter how well we like it, is not up to the standards he is used to. Perhaps it took him some time to adjust to his surroundings. We cannot fault him for that.”

  If she should listen to her sister, she would never find fault in anyone. Jane could reason away even the most tragic events with her kind heart. It was both a blessing and a curse. In this instance, however, Jane was not too far off. She supposed it was due to Mr. Darcy’s upbringing why he felt his friend deserved more than Jane, or, truth be told, what Jane could offer. He had never said that Jane was his concern, it was what Jane could offer his friend. Nothing was wanting in her sister. She was sure even Mr. Darcy would agree with her on that account.

  She thought back to the way he pushed her to pick out the brush and comb earlier in the shop. It was hard to choose for she did not know his sister and had never met her. Ladies tastes were different, but as soon as Elizabeth saw the combination of the comb and brush, she was sure no lady could object to its fine quality and beauty. Even if she would have preferred colored jewels, she could not deny the natural beauty of that comb. It sparkled in the light and when she chose it, Darcy’s eyes had sparkled too. “Are you sure?” he had asked her. When she nodded yes, something had passed between them. Some understanding that they were finally working together on something as a pair instead of fighting one another. And, it was certainly finer to work side-by-side with him than struggle against him.

  Jane chuckled. “You like him.”

  Elizabeth shook her head, breaking herself out of her thoughts. “Hmm?”

  “The smile on your face. Do not think I would not recognize that as a smile of infatuation. You like Mr. Darcy.”

  Heat rose from Elizabeth’s neck to her cheeks. “I confess I do.”

  Jane moved to a sitting position, her eyes widening. “Do you think he returns your feelings?”

  Elizabeth straightened, holding her brush useless in her lap. She did not know. There was something in his looks today that said he did, but if he did not feel Jane enough for his friend, how would he ever think her enough for himself? Jane was superior to her in every way. And in Mr. Darcy’s mind, he had more consequence than Bingley based on fortune alone. Unless he had completely changed his way of thinking, which Elizabeth thought would be hard to do, she did not know how he could ever think of her in that way.

  Still, the look in his eyes spoke to her.

  “I confess I do not know,” Elizabeth finally said. “As you said, we are far different than what he is used to.”

  “That does not mean anything when there are true feelings involved.”

  Elizabeth almost laughed. That sounded familiar, as if she had spoken the same thing to Mr. Darcy himself and he denied it. That did not bode well for the two of them, did it?

  “Hopefully it is merely a crush that will not break me if it is not returned,” Elizabeth said.

  “Do not be so quick to talk him out of feelings for you. Mr. Bingley has told me that his friend is the most honorable man he knows. Truthful to a fault, I believe he said. I am sure if he does like you, he would never let something like differences in situation impact his true feelings. That is not what an honorable man does. Nor a man in love. Is not there some saying that love is blind? How true.”

  Jane smiled down as she picked at the blanket, making hills and valleys with every pull. Elizabeth quitted the fire and moved to the bed so that Jane could braid her hair. Once she was finished, Jane laid her hands on Lizzy’s shoulders. “Would not it be lovely if we both found love? It is what we always dreamt of.”

  Elizabeth laid down and pulled the blankets to her chest. She and Jane had always spoken of falling in love and purchasing homes next to one another. Though she could see it now for what it truly was, silly, childhood fantasies, she would not say she did not want it. Their mother lived near to her sister Mrs. Phillips and they often visited one another. If she could find a husband and keep Jane close, she would count herself lucky indeed. If that man were to be the Mr. Darcy she saw today, the one who bought his sister presents and was kind to her, she would count herself very lucky.

  Chapter Ten

  Mr. Darcy spent the last two days spending as much time with Miss Bennet as he could, trying to prove to her that he could be a different man than the one she first met. He had gone to far too many shops for his liking, walked in the park under the guise of having to chaperon his friend, even when his hand itched to reach out to have Miss Elizabeth tucked into his side. Yes, he was a man living two lives. To everyone else, he had to walk side-by-side with Elizabeth Bennet in order for his friend and her sister to be close to one another. To himself, he reveled in her company and hoped he could soon be in his friend’s shoes, walking next to Miss Elizabeth under the knowledge that they had promised themselves to one another.

  His initial opinion of Mrs. Gardiner held true during their next meeting. She was a fine woman and having now met her husband; he counted them as truly genteel characters and he would not mind preserving their acquaintance, especially if he could convince Elizabeth of his worth.

  This evening was the party at Gracechurch Street he and Bingley had been invited to. His mind swam with emotions. At least they all aligned
toward one path this time. He was no longer conflicted in his admiration of Elizabeth Bennet. Despite her relations’ behavior, she was exactly the type of woman who could make him happy. Perhaps that was everything as she once suggested to him before. He could no longer fault Bingley for wanting Miss Bennet with or without any money. He knew Elizabeth would not be able to bring much to the marriage, however, the idea did not threaten his feelings for her as he once thought it would. All that mattered was that she was the woman for him.

  Darcy’s coach pulled to a stop in front of the Gardiner’s house and Darcy was the first one to leap down. Charles had taken to giving him curious looks every now and again and this was an occasion for another one. Bingley had yet to ask him of it, but Darcy was sure now that his feelings for Miss Elizabeth could be seen plainly by anybody. He hoped they were as plain to her. It was too bad he had made such a terrible first impression of himself. His only hope was that she would be able to forgive him for his previous feelings.

  None of that mattered at this moment though. He and Bingley climbed the steps and were led into the Gardiner’s house. They greeted their hosts and then both of them were off in search of Jane and Elizabeth.

  From across the room, Darcy spotted her first. She was dressed in a light green dress, her hair curling at the nape of her neck. She stood next to her sister and for the life of him, he did not remember why he had ever thought Jane was superior in looks. He preferred Elizabeth’s darker hair and features to Miss Bennet’s more tame ones. She laughed freely and smiled often.