by Palmer, Dee
“A little over dramatic don’t you think?” His tone is flat and I can see he is withdrawing. My declaration has made him uncomfortable but really should it come as a surprise I love him that much; enough to risk my own future with him. Well, if he didn’t know that, he should fucking know and I’m pretty sure he does now. Even as my heart beat races and I feel tension and hurt building my soft voice is nothing but calm and measured. I lean over and speak closer to his face.
“Not when it’s your heart that is at stake Daniel.” I place my lips on his cheek, the stubble is rougher than normal which only indicates that his intention to attend is very last minute or not planned at all. He turns his face, my lips graze the rough hairs before they are covered by his soft urgent mouth, steeling my breath. His lips capture and consume and the guests noise and music of the band blur into white noise when all I can feel is him, with every nerve and fibre. All I hear is his heartbeat and his deep breath. I sigh contentedly and smile against his lips as he pulls back.
“It sounds like you are reconciled—” I shake my head on a tight smile before he can finish that sentence.
“—Not reconciled.” I roll my eyes like that is even a possibility. “Resigned is more apt. I know you Daniel and I know I hurt you, betrayed you and that is unforgivable.” I notice he flinches at this because his pain coincides with the tear in my heart but I press on with a surprisingly level voice. “So no, I am not reconciled and yes it hurts like a motherfucker!” I place my hand on my chest but try to keep the serious sadness at bay with light shake of my head and a smile much bigger than I am capable of genuinely producing.
“But you’ll survive.” His eyes pierce mine as if this is the lifeline he wants me to throw. I can see the pain and feel the desperate need, but for what? Acceptance, agreement, absolution? I don’t think so, but that’s what happens when you have nothing left to lose, a reckless regard for yourself and those around you.
“I will exist . . . and for now that will have to do.” I take a look around and notice that the tables have started to empty and the band is playing a little louder. Daniel gives a strained laugh and I look to see him straighten in his seat.
“Bethany you will survive. You will thrive and find—” But his confident words falter and it is my turn to interrupt.
“—Please don’t belittle what I feel with a trite statement like ‘I’ll find someone else’ because that is never going to happen. I’m not that stupid.” My voice is a little sharper and I take a minute to calm my inner turmoil from spilling because despite my slightly raised tone, at this moment no one is looking at me, only Daniel. I bite my lip and force another smile, my fucking jaw is killing me. “Twice bitten, well I’d have to be a fucking moron to risk a third, don’t you think?” A rhetorical question, I rub the indent in my little finger at the absent reminder of my first someone. Silence ensues when I say under my breath, “besides it’s a little more complicated now.” I stare into his crystal clear blue eyes and wish I had a photographic memory so I can recall them in the future when I know I’ll struggle to remember their fierceness. “So,” I draw out the word slowly to not so subtly change the subject, “How’s your mother?” I again bite my lip but fail to hide my laugh when he barks out a loud throaty laugh.
“Nice Bethany, very smooth.” He continues to catch his breath and he grabs my hand and pulls my fingers up to his soft lips, kissing the tips gently. His eyes still holding my gaze but I close mine and try to shake the residual intensity. “I’m not sure how to take the ‘no filter’ Miss Thorne and you are not even drunk.” He nods toward my sparkling water. “And why is that? You barely took a sip at your own toast and I know you were nervous enough to probably want a whole line of tequila shots.” He raises his brow and I get a twist in my tummy but force myself not to place my hand across my mid-section.
“Oh, I’m on a health kick, you know, want to look my best for the big day.” His lips form a tight line.
“Hmmm.Is that so?” He pauses, his brow raised in disbelief but he says nothing more. He traces his finger down my neck and along my collar bone, hovering at the dip at my throat before continuing down my chest and over the swell of my breasts. My breath hitches, my heartbeat frantic as my eyes dart around the room. “No-one is looking at us Bethany, although I can’t think why anyone would be looking anywhere but right here.” He drops his hand to my hip and wraps his fingers, curling them into my flesh and pulling me toward him. His eyes burn with heat and desire; his lips part and are a whisper from mine. I can’t help my body lean into his impossible draw. I catch myself and pull back, my face I hope is expressing my confusion at his intimate display. He places his index finger on my lips to stop me from speaking, although I don’t think words are in danger of escaping my mouth any time soon. “I know this body Bethany and I assume a health kick would be about losing unnecessary weight and although it may have shifted, you have definitely not lost any weight. In fact if we could exploit your secret of gaining weight in all the right places I think we could make a small fortune.” His sensual tone and desire in his gaze lessens the sting of him telling me I’m fat. I know he hasn’t said that, he said all the right places whilst scrutinising my breasts but I’m a woman and I definitely heard ‘you’re fat.’ I push my chair back and he tips forward not anticipating the sudden move.
I see the confusion flash across his face but not giving him any more time to digest and draw conclusions that are for another day, I offer my hand and ask him to dance. The band plays traditional Italian music for the first dance and the same into the early evening. Daniel holds me close and I rest my head on his chest and listen to his heart. We dance with a slow beat and I sway in the comfort of his strong hold regardless of the rhythm of the band. He is surprised when I decline every interruption to dance with any others inclined to ask and he hums his approval and holds me tighter, when I whisper like the song, ‘I don’t want to miss a thing.’ Unfortunately promises have been made and when Milly’s small body wedges between us and she looks up to Daniel with a deep frown and her hands on her hips I am not going to be the one to ignite that tantrum in waiting. I step back and watch as Daniel scoops a delighted Milly onto his dress shoes and starts to step around the room. I am about to step away from the floor when Marco appears, takes my hand and sweeps me lightly across the dance floor.
I throw my head back in a loud laugh as he dips me dramatically and does and elegant turn and lift. “You’re brave.” I argue but despite Daniels obvious scowl I don’t mean him, I mean the gaggle of smiling Aunts that follow our every move.
“Not really, even they know a losing battle and looking at you two I’d say it’s a losing—” He stops when he feels my body tense and looks shocked at my sudden water filled eyes. “Hey Boo, God what’s wrong?” He sweeps us, almost seamlessly to the edge and holds my shoulders as I try to get a grip.
“Sorry big emotional day.” I let out a breath and I am relieved the tears that threaten do no more than threaten. “I’m fine, you really can’t expect me not to break on a day like today.” I laugh and nudge him like he is making a big deal over nothing. He dips to meet my eyes and I know he doesn’t believe me but he also knows not to push and it’s one of the reasons I love him. “Where’s the bride? . . . They haven’t left already? I know she told me that my duties were done for the day but I didn’t think she was leaving already.” I am searching the crowd and looking outside to the lawn peppered with evening guest still arriving.
“No . . . don’t panic. She is hardly likely to leave without telling you . . . come on seriously where’s your head Boo?” He rolls his eyes.
I breathe a sigh of relief, “No, I guess not—”
“But she is likely to want to wear as many outfits as she can . . . She has headed off to change or some shit . . . I don’t get it . . . She said she’ll be five minutes so maybe she’ll surface again in an hour.” He offers with a shrug but my eyes are drawn to the man behind him. Marco stiffens when Daniel places his hand in mine and p
ulls me past him to continue our slow dance in the midst of mayhem. With each passing minute I feel the tiny ache of unbearable misery grow a little bigger spreading from the pit of my stomach and with almost four hours until midnight I need to lighten the all-consuming gravity of the inevitable end.
“So Daniel.” I have to tilt my head right back to look into his eyes because he has me flush against his chest and his arms like a vice around my waist. “What was the best thing about us?” I laugh at the sudden tension in his body but then he lets out a loud belly laugh and I can’t help but join in.
“No fucking way am I touching that one.” He shakes his head looking at me like I have completely lost it, he might be right. “That is right up there with guess how old I am? Or does this make me look fat? No answer is the only answer.” I can feel him shake his head as he rests his chin on top of my head. I continue to chuckle. “What was the best thing about us for you?” He asks, the arrogant tone makes me think he doesn’t believe I will answer but this is too much fun not to.
“Sex.” My voice is throaty and completely serious. He pulls back and I smile at the utter shock on his face and then he slaps his hand over his wounded heart but his grin says he is anything but wounded. I laugh. “Like your ego needed any confirmation in that department but, the sex was pretty fucking phenomenal so for the purpose of keeping this conversation light, yeah I’d say the sex. Especially when you take me really hard.” My voice gets soft and breathy and he dips his head to hear. “When you pin me down and spread my legs like you can’t wait a moment longer, fuck that’s hot!” He has stopped moving and I can feel his chest draw in slow steady breaths. “What?” I ask with all the innocence I can muster, well aware of his massive erection rubbing against my tummy. The thick heat radiating with an urgency I feel pooling between my legs; in for a penny. “So Daniel, are you going to do something with that rock hard cock you’ve got digging in my side or am I going to have to beg . . . because I know you love it when I beg.” I fix my eyes on his and see the lust spark and rage. His jaw clenches and he hisses out a curse as he releases his hold, grabs my hand and strides out across the dance floor, along the corridor and out the main entrance. I nearly tell him that I also fucking love it when he is all cave-man like this but the fire in his eyes is fixed on scorching my soul and I just want to let it burn.
JUST OUTSIDE THE main door Daniel turns and I slam into his immobile solid frame, he steps me back and I hit the wall behind me with the strength and force of our two bodies colliding. I would be winded but he sweeps in and sucks the air from my lungs with lust driven urgency that is just as effective at leaving me breathless. He stops and rests his forehead against mine as we both race to control our breathing. His strong hand grips my jaw and slides down to my throat, his firm fingers and soft hold has my body trembling. He lifts his head, his eyes darken with untamed desire and his voice is deep, rough and rasping.
“You like choices Bethany so I’m going to give you a choice.” His fresh warm breath kisses my skin he is so close and I struggle to swallow the dryness in my throat. “I can take you here. Hard. Fast. Down and dirty.” He slowly emphasises each word and grins as he feels my body shiver at the words. “Or I can take you to my room in that hotel over there and fuck you nice and slow.” Although his eyes are consumed with a need mirroring my own I still notice a glimpse of apprehension and his body tenses waiting my reply.
“Can’t we do both?” I breathe out. He narrows his eyes and growls a string of curses under his breath as he steps back and pulls my hand roughly and I have to jog to keep his pace. He doesn’t say a word as we practically sprint across the car park, through the foyer of the exclusive boutique hotel and stop only to wait for the lift doors to open. He nods for me to enter the lift first and I stand with my back braced on the far wall, my eyes fixed on his. He steps slowly, stalking toward me and as the doors glide to close his gaze is fixed, fierce and feral and I suddenly feel like I am in the lion’s den. My heart thumps so loud it drowns the ambient music in the small box. The carnal tension obliterates any other thought in my head and I am so thankful for this moment but not as thankful as I am for the moments that I know are going to follow. He places his hands either side of my head, his impressive muscular body effectively trapping me but it’s not necessary, there is nowhere else I would rather be. “Fuck.” He breathes out and I know he is struggling with the right thing to do. His concern how this could complicate things is sure to be racing across his mind but this is just us, our passion and our chemistry and if everything changes at midnight then I want to grasp this with both hands and take.
“Yes Please Sir.” I suck my bottom lip to stop the shit eating grin spread across my face when I notice the exact moment he chooses to ignore his doubts. His lips crash into mine, bruising and biting, hot swollen tissue sucked and teased, devoured and revered. A deep groan escapes his throat as the doors open and he has to stop. He pulls away a fraction and I blindly lean into his vacant space missing the contact, not realising the lift has stopped. I stumble after him as he leads me along the corridor. Cursing and fumbling with the key card, his obvious urgency makes me giggle and I try to hang on to these light moments because at every turn, at every crack and hesitation my mind is filled with my endless lists of ‘will I evers? Will I ever feel this wanted again? Will anyone ever make me feel this alive, this cherished, this loved? This fucking list is endless. I blink furiously to stop the water from spilling and I manage to mask my sudden sadness just in time as Daniel slams the door open and in one swift move he has me pinned against the back of the closed door.
“Right, hard, fast, down and dirty coming up.” His grin is pure wickedness and I gasp as he thrusts his steel hard length against my soft centre. His fingers grab at the hem of my dress and start to wrinkle the material slowly up my thighs but with a huff of frustration as the material resists he yanks with one sharp pull up to my waist. I close my eyes tight at the pinch on my skin but cry when I hear the material tear. “Sorry,” he grins.
I roll my eyes. “No you’re not.” I reprimand but he has his head buried in my neck taking strong deep pulls at my skin, sucking and marking It feels delicious and I struggle to catch my breath. He tips his head back to meet my eyes and smirks.
“Not even remotely. You’re lucky I don’t tear the damn thing to shreds.” He moans as his hands race every part of my aching body, like they are determined to cover every inch and remember every touch. I want to remember every touch.
“You wouldn’t?” I pant.
He raises a brow and that cocky grin has me worried because I do have to go back to the wedding at some point. “Not the dress, but these mmm.” One of his hands slides up my thigh and skims my silk clad bottom and I feel his fingers curl round the material. There is the sudden bite on my skin as he snaps the seams and my panties disintegrate in his skilful fingers. I drop my head back and hit the door with a thud as heat coils deep inside and blazes through my veins at the same time a million prickles chill me as tiny hairs cool my skin. His mouth moves from my neck along my collar bone and sears a scorching path between my breasts which he cups aggressively as he works his way down my body. I flinch at the pain shooting from his gripping hands torturing my over sensitive breasts. He stills for a split second but when I exhale a deep sensual moan he continues and I welcome the pain, something I can hold on to. Something familiar as my emotions run wild and dangerously out of my control.
“Daniel!” I cry out as he drops to his knees and holds my hips with brutal force. The guttural sound he holds back escapes when he lifts one of my legs and pushes it back against the door. Spreading me wide, the cool rush of air on my exposed sensitive flesh causes a full body shudder. I gasp his name once more, barely a whisper but I want to say so much more. I hold my breath, the anticipation is a sensory overload to my heighten libido and fragile state and I tremble and start to mumble incoherently as he presses his lips to my soaking folds. Liquid heat courses through my body from this point of contact and
I shake my head, my attempts to evade and ease the intensity are futile against his iron grip. His tongue drags one long sweep up from my very centre to the very centre of my nerve endings and I cry out in panic and desperation. “Daniel . . . I . . . I. . . .” I pant as my brain tries to find suitable words, well, any words at all because all I can do is emit random animalistic sounds from petted house cat to huntress lion. I look down because Daniel has pulled back and is looking at me with heavy lidded eyes through his impossibly long lashes. He slowly licks his lips and drags his lower lip between his teeth like he is scraping and savouring my taste.
“Do I need to gag you?” He tilts his head and grins and he may be joking but I think it’s a perfect solution. I am raw, emotional and vulnerable and liable to say anything, promise anything and beg for more than this. I don’t want that because he won’t want that, so I nod. I know he understands when he closes his eyes, nods too and pauses for a few seconds before removing my leg and slowly dragging his body back up, tight against mine. His fingers slip into the knot of his tie and he eases it loose, his eyes gleam with mischief and his smile is breath-taking. He slips the tie from his neck and holds it up stretched between his hands. “Your wish, my command Miss Thorne.” He holds the silk tie against my lips and I shake my head so he pauses.
