by Ranae Rose
“Yeah.” Surprise hit her as Arianna’s words settled in. She’d figured that Arianna would side with James and think that Crystal didn’t have any business dating Dylan. “I have to admit though – I’m surprised you see it that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“James doesn’t think I should be dating Dylan. I don’t think he thinks I’m ready to date anyone, actually.”
Arianna shrugged. “Sometimes things happen before we think we’re ready for them. And it turns out we are.”
“Are you talking about you and James?”
“It applies there too, but I was thinking more of my pregnancy. It wasn’t planned, you know. And if you’d asked me whether I was ready to be pregnant again, I would’ve been way too afraid to say yes. But I’m really glad it happened. I can’t stand the thought of not being pregnant, now that I am.”
Crystal’s heart melted a little. She glanced at the living room wall, where a portrait of a teenage Arianna in a hospital bed, a newborn in her arms, had recently been hung. “I’m really happy for you and James. But my biggest fear is repeating my past mistakes… I don’t want to disappoint anybody.”
“Anybody?”
“Emily. James. You.”
Arianna looked at Crystal like she’d said something crazy. “You’re afraid of disappointing me?”
Crystal shrugged. “You helped James take care of Emily. I want you both to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Emily is my first priority.”
“We already know that.”
Crystal had her doubts. “I’m not so sure James does.”
“He’s just worried that you’ll get hurt.”
“That’s what he said, but I know how it looks.”
Arianna met Crystal’s gaze. “It’s not like he thinks you don’t deserve to ever be happy.”
Crystal looked away. She’d felt that way about herself for a long time – still did, sometimes. How could she blame James if he felt the same way?
* * * * *
Feeling any better?
Crystal sat with her phone in the bistro near the mall on Monday afternoon. Memories of her lunch date there with Dylan haunted every table, every cute little coffee cup with flowers painted on the handle.
I’m fine.
Really fine, or fine as in you don’t want me to call your brother again?
I’m at work. On my lunch break. Not sick anymore.
Good.
She stared at his reply until her screen went black. A part of her longed to ask if he knew yet when he’d be back, but she didn’t want to be nosy. And she certainly didn’t want to rush him.
When her lunch break was almost over, she picked up her things and headed back to work, more aware than ever of the distance between her and Dylan.
* * * * *
By Thursday, Dylan couldn’t put it off any longer. He dialed Jed, ready to see where the dice had fallen.
Jed didn’t answer, but Dylan left a voicemail and heard back twenty minutes later.
“Hey man,” he said. “I was finishing with a client. What’s up?”
“I’m finally in a position where I can leave Newark again. I know it was shitty for you and my clients when I left, but I’d like to reschedule the appointments I missed.”
“No problem. I’m sure most of your clients would rather reschedule than not get the tattoos they wanted.”
Dylan bit back a sigh of relief. His professional conscience was eased, and even better – this meant getting to see Crystal again.
“It’s important to me that you know I had to leave,” he said.
Time to bite the bullet and explain. The way he’d left made him look bad, and the Ultimate Ink Challenge thing shadowed him everywhere he went, too. The way he’d ended his time on the show probably didn’t do him any favors in Jed’s eyes now.
He needed Jed’s trust, because he wanted to stay for good at Hot Ink, if the offer was still on the table. He’d do just about anything to hold on to that chance, to keep the promise he’d made to Crystal – even tell Jed things he rarely told anyone.
Of course, he was aware that what he had to say might make Jed think twice about wanting him at Hot Ink. People could be weird about what they didn’t understand.
He explained what’d happened with his brother as concisely as he could, and didn’t hide that Ben’s problem was one he shared.
“He didn’t have anyone else capable of helping him out. It had to be me, and it had to be right away.”
“I get it,” Jed said after a few seconds of silence. “You don’t have to try to justify it to me. Family is more important than keeping appointments. Shit happens, and we all have times when we have to change plans.”
Jed’s words lessened the weight on Dylan’s shoulders, but didn’t completely set him free. “There’s something else I want to be sure about.”
“Yeah?”
“Is that offer to tattoo full-time at Hot Ink still open?”
* * * * *
“I can’t believe how lame this movie is,” Ben said, sprawled on the couch after a full day of work at the garage. He’d been on his medications for eleven days, and the worst of the side effects seemed to have passed.
“Yeah. We should’ve watched Sharknado.”
“Rampaging mutant alligators seemed more exciting. Live and learn.”
Dylan didn’t actually care about the quality of the sci-fi flick they’d settled on. It was just a backdrop for a conversation he’d been planning all day.
“I’m heading back to Pittsburgh tomorrow.”
Ben nodded.
“Think you’ll be all right on your own?”
Ben shot him an insulted look. “I’m a grown man. Besides, I have work to keep me busy.”
He’d started back at Anderson’s Custom Auto Body the day before.
“Twenty-four? You’d barely be out of college, if you’d gone.”
“And you’re old. What’s your point?”
“I’m in my prime. You know that after working out with me all week. Anyway, you’ve had a lot of shit thrown at you these past couple weeks. I don’t want you to feel like you have to deal with it on your own.”
Which was exactly how Dylan had felt after his diagnosis. The memory of the absolute loneliness made wanting to help Ben a compulsion.
“I appreciate you helping me out,” Ben said, “but if you don’t stop sleeping on my couch, I’m going to lose my mind for real. I’m tired of sharing the bathroom with you. You take longer showers than most women.”
Dylan died a little inside, and it took all his willpower to hold back his laughter. Yeah, he’d taken some long showers lately… It wasn’t his ideal solution either, but knowing he’d be seeing Crystal soon had him constantly ready to go.
“Fine. But give me a call if you want to talk. Or if you need me to come back.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “Maybe we should Skype so we can gaze into each other’s eyes while we chat about how tough life is.”
Dylan maintained his straight face. “If that’s what you want.”
“Dude. Ugh. No.”
“Seriously, give me a call every now and then.”
Ben nodded, and for a while they were silent.
“Hey,” Ben said as one of the mutant alligators ripped someone in half.
“What?”
“Thanks for coming out here. Helping me out and everything.”
“Not a problem.”
Ben was quiet a while longer, until a particularly gory alligator attack scene faded to actionless dialogue between the remaining characters.
“One other thing,” Ben said. “Do me a favor and don’t mention this to mom and dad.”
“I won’t. That’s your deal.”
“I don’t want them to know. They’re dicks to you about it.”
“They mostly just pretend it’s not real.”
“Yeah, but you know they’d drag you into church and try to pray it out of you in a heartbeat, if you let them. That’s the real reason you lift,
isn’t it? So you can fight off the holy rollers if they come for you.”
“Nah. The tattoos are enough to scare most of them off.” Dylan grinned. Their parents were embarrassed by his tattoos, and what he did for a living. They mostly pretended those things weren’t real, too.
Ben returned the expression. “Maybe I should get some more then.”
Ben had a few, including one on his upper right arm – a biomechanical piece that made it look like his skin was tearing away to reveal a look at the engine and inner workings of a classic muscle car. Dylan had done it for him a couple years ago, and while it wasn’t his usual style, he was proud of it. He was also proud that Ben had refused to go to anyone else to have his tattoos done.
“Anytime. Come see me in Pittsburgh.”
“How long are you gonna be there?”
“I’m taking a full-time position at the studio I’ve been guest tattooing at.”
Ben snapped his gaze away from the TV. “You’re moving?”
“Yeah. Not immediately, but soon. I’ll be back to take care of some things before I’m gone for good.”
Ben frowned.
“Sorry if it seems like I’m leaving you at a bad time.”
“I don’t think it’s fair that you’re moving. Now you’ll have the perfect excuse to skip those holiday dinners mom and dad always rope us into. I’ll have to go on my own.”
“I’ll pray for your soul. Send you positive vibes from Pittsburgh. Whatever.”
Ben sat up straight, a glimmer of light passing through his eyes. “Nah, I’ll just come visit you for the holidays. Get an apartment with a spare room – I don’t want to sleep on your couch when I visit.”
“Tough shit. I’m not paying for a second bedroom just so you can live like a king a few weekends out of the year.”
“It was worth a try.”
* * * * *
Crystal checked her phone on her lunch break, like she always did. She didn’t usually have any messages, though there was the occasional text from James or Arianna. Lately, of course, there’d been the occasional text from Dylan too. She was happy to discover that he’d messaged her an hour ago.
A giddy feeling filled her empty stomach, along with a hint of nervousness. Things had been a little awkward ever since he’d called Hot Ink on her behalf.
She’d felt betrayed at first, and it was embarrassing that Dylan had talked to James – who didn’t even approve of their relationship – about her needing help. But she had needed it, and the more time went by, the more she realized that she appreciated what he’d done.
She’d been too embarrassed to ask for help, but he’d bridged that gap for her. If not for him, she might still be suffering through her illness.
Plus, the experience had taken the edge off her self-pitying thoughts about not having anyone to rely on. Although it wasn’t the same as having a partner, and she was still doing the work of two parents, she did have people who’d help her out when times got tough. Apparently.
It was a relief to know that. Single parenthood often felt like walking a tightrope, but at least she had a safety net.
Crisis over, Dylan’s text read. Coming back to Pittsburgh today. Can I come over?
She started to text him back, then realized he was probably driving. With her nerves buzzing, she pressed call instead.
“Hey.” The sound of his voice swept over her.
A frisson zipped down her spine, and she gripped her phone a little tighter.
“I got your text. Yes, you can come over.”
“Great.” He sounded genuinely pleased, and that amped up her excitement.
“When will you get here?”
“Should get into Pittsburgh around seven. I can come straight to your place, or I can hold off until later if you’d prefer.”
“Seven’s fine. I get off work at six, so I’ll be home by then.”
“I can’t wait to see you.” She could hear the lust in his voice. It resonated with the feeling that was rising up inside her, making her feel almost fevered again.
“I can’t wait, either.”
CHAPTER 17
The drive across Pennsylvania was long, but knowing he’d see Crystal at the end made it a little sweeter. The sound of her voice echoed in Dylan’s mind, fueling thoughts of their reunion. After what he’d told her last time, and the way he’d disappeared…
A part of him had been afraid she’d change her mind about wanting to be with him while he was gone.
God knew she’d had plenty of time to think about what he’d told her.
He’d lucked out, with Crystal and with Jed, who still wanted him to tattoo full-time at Hot Ink.
He couldn’t wait to get Crystal under him, to feel her breath against his skin and hear his name on her lips. For once, though, he couldn’t focus fully on his fantasies.
The reason was Ben. He couldn’t help worrying about him, even if he did seem to be doing a lot better. He knew what Ben was going through, and knew he didn’t have anyone else to turn to for support.
Well, his boss had been surprisingly cool about everything, but other than that… It wasn’t like he could expect anything from their parents. Ben hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said they’d try to pray the crazy away, if given the chance. They weren’t typical religious devotees – in fact, their church was closer to a cult, as far as Dylan was concerned.
He pushed away the memories of when he’d been dragged along on Sundays. It always brought a tide of bitterness rolling in, and bitterness didn’t change the fact that when it came to his parents’ beliefs, he didn’t fucking get it. Never had.
There were a thousand solid reasons why, but being bipolar was the icing on the cake. His parents thought anything that wasn’t normal could be prayed away, and had always held him and Ben strictly accountable for their ‘sins’, which had at times involved a wide variety of things, such as listening to non-religious music and having a ‘negative attitude’.
Dylan had done it all anyway, like any other kid, and while they’d given him shit over just about everything, the overwhelming majority of their criticisms had targeted his ‘attitude’, which they’d considered an unholy plague on the entire family.
He considered their rigid beliefs the real family plague. If your eternal fate was determined by your actions, your words and your attitudes, how did something you hadn’t asked for that affected all those things factor in?
He wasn’t particularly spiritual, but he was pretty sure there wasn’t a higher power damning people for all eternity because of things like chemical imbalances. And if there was, hell, he was damned anyway, so there was no point in worrying about it.
He snorted and pushed the old memories away before they could spiral any deeper into territory he didn’t want to revisit. There was no benefit to thinking about it. He turned on the radio instead.
Ben would be okay. Dylan would make sure of it, even if he had to do it from a distance most of the time. It was more support than Dylan had ever had, and he’d gotten a handle on himself. He’d made some mistakes along the way, but life was good.
If he had his way, it was about to get even better.
* * * * *
When Crystal opened her apartment door, it was the first time Dylan had seen her in almost two weeks. She looked stunning.
“Hey,” she said with a smile. Her long hair was loose and streaming over her shoulders, and her shirt was just low-cut enough to get his imagination going.
“Hey.” He stepped inside and wanted to wrap his arms around her, but his hands were full. “I picked up dinner on my way here. It’s from that Korean place you like.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” She smiled and took the food from him, setting it aside on the table. “Thank you.”
“It’s no problem.”
Now that his hands were empty, they tingled as she approached, looking completely irresistible.
When she reached him, she embraced him, her soft body molding to his.
> “Sorry I disappeared on you,” he said as the tingling in his hands spread through his entire body.
“It’s okay.”
“I’ve been in hell.”
She stiffened and looked up at him, a line forming between her eyes. “Is your brother still doing okay?”
“I didn’t mean that. He’s all right.” He rubbed the small of her back and breathed in her scent. “I meant that missing you has been hell. Things had just gotten good when I left, and I wasn’t so sure you’d want to pick up where we left off when I got back.”
“Why wouldn’t I? You were helping out family. It’s not like I’d hold that against you.”
“Yeah, well I left on kind of a dramatic note. The last memory you had of me was me shoving some pills in my face and telling you why I’ve gotta do it. It’s a deal-breaker for some people.”
Her brows furrowed, and she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. “Nobody’s perfect. I know that better than most. Did you really think I’d just forget about you once I found out?”
He shrugged, which wasn’t easy, with the way she was holding onto him. His cock was like granite, trapped between their bodies, and her every movement – every breath – made it ache a little more. She didn’t seem bothered by it pressing against her belly.
“Well, I definitely haven’t forgotten about you.” Her voice softened in a way that made his dick throb.
He groaned and flattened a hand against the small of her back, cupping the perfect curve of one ass cheek. The way she arched against him in response pushed him over the edge, and he carried her back to the bedroom, forgetting about the food he’d brought.
They could always microwave it later.
“I don’t see Emily. She asleep?” he asked on the way.
“Yeah.”
“Guess that means we’ve gotta be quiet. Although I think that’s going to be hard.”
She sighed when he laid her on the bed and started peeling off her clothes. He couldn’t resist touching her everywhere along the way, pressing his mouth against her soft skin and tasting the places he’d dreamed of while in Newark.
