Forever

by Wanda Boyd

  Kick the varnish can that was in the stable entrance, and around me, I face with my father, looking at me confused.

  - You have to explain some things, no? - He asks me.

  - I? Who has to explain why he hired these two crazy is you.

  - As well? I do not hired. I .... Oh ... Oh my! I think I hired, even! But I never imagined that it was Cicely. I could not imagine it was a zootecnóloga today. Well, I will cause to be laid off today.

  Dismissed? Of course I want to be fired. I do not want?

  If they are laid off, Cecilia can disappear again, and I'll lose any information about the whereabouts of my daughter. And know where she is is all I want most in this world.

  - No, Dad! Do not resign! I need to keep them close by so loose some information about my daughter. And although Cecilia not play forgotten, I probe her best friend until she confess something. I'll end this scam or not call me Antonio Inacio!

  - No son! You are not going to do anything. - I turn to see my mother approaching us. She stops beside my father and involves one of her hands in his. - I'm already providing a thorough investigation. Soon we will find out all about Cecilia, and soon we will have our child in our arms. And I'm gaining their trust, too. I can not explain why, but I believe she is innocent in all this. I have some theories, but I will only expose them so I can prove. I only ask you to trust me.

  My father hugged her and said he always trusted and now was no different.

  I hesitated a bit because I did not like the fact she thinks Cecilia was not the villain of this whole story. She was yes. She murdered my dreams, my hopes. It tore my heart with their own fists and now decided he could go back, so without any consequences of their actions.

  - I trust you, Mom! I only ask that you remember everything she did. Do not forget all that she took from me.

  I say and turn my back, walking toward my house. I stop at my door and I remember when we started to build it. It was to be our home, my, Cicely and our children. White surrounded with rocking chair on the porch were requirements of own diaba.

  I am lost in thought, trying to understand if my refusal to let my father dismiss it is not just lose information about the whereabouts of my princess or is this crazy already started to touch my heart again.

  I refuse to accept this hypothesis! I shot my clothes and get in the shower to take a cold shower. I need to put this fire that is in my skin since I saw earlier today.

  I'll get my revenge this little devil and repossess all that is mine, or my name is not Antonio Inacio!

  A few hours later, I hear the door of my house opening and closing with a bang.

  A blonde with braids hurricane approaches with an explosive guy.

  - I do not believe you let that crazy in here on our farm! She takes a glass that was on the table and throws on the wall.

  - It is, is, is! Let's stop with it! You will end up hurting yourself - say, to see the pieces flying everywhere.

  - You lost your mind? Do not let your "lollipop" thinking for you. Damn, bro! You have to give a lesson in that bitch, and not let her go coming into our lives like the Queen of Sheba!

  - Calm, Alana! I'm not thinking with my "lollipop". - Do not restrain a few laughs. After all, I never saw Alana so angry. Until it was funny to see her rosy cheeks with anger. - I have a plan, do not worry!

  - I do not want any plan! I want this stupid fuck up. Let's do suffer, bro! We will take revenge for everything!

  - Easy, sis! Do not let hatred take precedence over their reason. You're a good person too much to convert to the dark side.

  - Aff! You already softened, apparently. - It gives me the back and starts to walk toward the door. - Do not worry, I will act alone. By the way, I only have that memory in this family of crap. - She walks out the door, but then her head reappears. - Oh, just one thing: you're an asshole! - And so it disappears.

  Oh, these women! Without them bad, worse with them. Or is it the opposite?

  Late that afternoon, Diogo and the canoe appeared at home with a bottle of whiskey. They said they knew I needed to drink to drown his sorrows, and I refused.

  Three doses later watched the game Barcelona that was being broadcast on TV cable, already a little relaxed.

  - And she appeared so out of nowhere? - Diogo asked.

  - It was, brother! The most expensive stick. - I count, remembering the fall she took me to see and containing a smile. She was always a little destrambelhada, and I always found it lovely.

  - But it says here, Antonio! How is she today? The years aged or she is still the same as he remembered?

  Damn, what kind of question is that? Just think of it, my cock is starting to get excited.

  - She's even more beautiful, man! Always it was very beautiful, but now she has an air of intelligence that made me even madder.

  They look at me with the face of "XIIII already screwed up," and only then did I realize what I just said.

  - Mad angry, of course. - I say, after clearing his throat and thicken the voice.

  - Oh, come on! You're already smitten again. This woman must be a witch, because she was only appear to you to become the prince of Jester the city. - Diogo says Canoe and bursts out laughing. While the two are mocking me, I get serious and try to focus on me.

  - I hate that woman! Can laugh at will, but it's the only thing I want is to know my daughter.

  The two stop laughing, but still with a relaxed look.

  - Relax, friend! Soon she spit it out and you will finally be able to know your little one.

  Viro another shot and I think if this will really happen.

  Then, a flash hits me like a thunderbolt.

  If it is to live with the enemy, I keep you around.

  - I have an idea! One of you will need to enrabichar with the Cecilia friend. This is a war, guys, and I need soldiers at my disposal. And then? They will fight for my cause or not?

  They say yes and we toasted with another dose!

  That's it, the war has just begun, and Cecilia has not the slightest idea. She will not even know where they are coming from the shots, and one thing I'm sure: this time I that I will be the champion.

  Chapter 7 - Cecilia

  I get furious at the apartment and go straight to my bathroom. Yank clothes angry and leave on the same floor; because of the blood will be washed separately from other clothing. I turn on the shower and let the hot water falling on my body. I close my eyes to try to relax, but an image invades my mind.

  I am in a shower with someone, and he runs his hand over my body, he squeezes my breasts while kissing my shoulder. How is behind me, I can not see his face, only the strong and calloused hands. His hands down my body towards my vagina and stimulate my clitoris.

  - Ignatius. - Loose a sigh.

  I open my eyes and stare at the wall, it was not imagination, was a reminder for the first time in five years, I remembered something.

  Who is Ignatius?

  Spend the day with this question pounding in his head. I can not imagine who could be. But since the madman who claims to be my "husband" is called Antonio, could not be him.

  Did I have a lover?

  Get up from my desk and get out of the nervous office, I hated those doubts and insecurity that always torment me.

  How's after six o'clock, call Mari and go to the local bar for a drink, I needed to relax and take Ignatius of my head, whoever he is.

  We entered the bar and go straight to the counter.

  - Two beers. - Mari asks. - Until looks good here.

  I look at the bar and see the scattered tables, a dance floor near a stage and a sound system that seems to be karaoke.

  - Here it is. - The girl serving us and she looks at me. - Cecilia?

  - As far as I know, the first and only - speak, take the bottle to his mouth and take a big gulp.

  - What are you doing here? - Asks nervously.

  - Sipping a beer.

  - I asked here in town.

  - I am the spirit of Cecilia
who came eternally torment people of the city - making speak a thick voice.

  - Well I figured you just might be a ghost. - I hear talking behind me and look for Anthony.

  - You again? Me wrong, cowboy. - I'll be drinking my beer and Mari of laughter. To my bad luck, he sits next to me with friends.

  - Ceci, what happened today? After we got back from the farm you were strange - Mari question.

  - I think I remembered something. I do not know if I remembered a dream or someone.

  - It seemed to be real?

  - Much.

  - So it may be a reminder really - speaks and gives a smile. - So, will soon remember everything.

  - All right for Sunday? - The girl in the bar asks for Antonio and leans leaving her breasts almost falling off the shirt.

  - All cat, come get you.

  - How disgusting - I speak softly and turn to Mari.

  - Some problem? - The girl in the bar question.

  - No and I was not talking to you, darling.

  Again I look at the Mari who is laughing.

  - I think she does not like you.

  - Azar her, mainly because I do not know the reason for this anger.

  Again I drink my beer. while a band starts playing some country songs, I feel the warm body of Antonio next to me and he sometimes stumbles me, as if it were on purpose.

  - How's the colt? - Mari asks, stretching and looking at him.

  - It's great, he's strong.

  - You're welcome - answer without looking at him.

  - You were amazing - one of his friends answers, and look at him, I think he called Diogo.

  - We had a similar case in college, the teacher let me take care of the mare - explain.

  - So you went away to study? - Canoe question and look at him.

  - I do not know why I left. I do not remember anything.

  - How long will insist this lie?

  - Look, Anthony, do not know what your problem. I have no reason to lie.

  - What woman in the world would forget her own husband? - Nervous question, practically screaming.

  - Maybe one that must have suffered at his hand - scream back.

  - What? - He looks at me in disbelief.

  - You will know if you did not beat me, he treated me like garbage, nothing. That is, if you're really my husband.

  - I never laid a hand on you - talking, getting up and practically cornered me at the counter. - I Never missed with respect. I've always been faithful, treated you like a princess, I put my world in your hands. And the only thing you did was leave me, taking my daughter away.

  - What child? - I ask looking at his face. - I do not know that daughter is talking about.

  - Listen, Cecilia, for free. I just want to know one thing and then, if you want to play the forgetful, may be the will. Just tell where my daughter is.

  - What child? - shout.

  - What you were carrying in his belly when he left - he cries, my world starts spinning and I just grabbed me in his arms to try to steady me.

  I woke up a month after the coma and was not pregnant. That's for sure, because everything after the accident I remember.

  - I was how many months? - I ask softly.

  - I already said...

  - How, Antonio? - Mari question and I know that she understood the same as me.

  - Six months - he replies.

  A sharp twinge seems to hit the middle of my head, as if a thunderbolt had fallen into it. The push and lift, running out of the bar.

  I do not know how long I ran, I just know I left aimlessly, I saw houses and buildings pass me by, my body started to complain about the effort, until I fell on the edge of a road, turned on his back and stared at the dark sky .

  If I was six months pregnant really as he says, one of two things: either the child was born and my parents gave it to someone or lost my baby.

  Let out a cry of pain, not because of the head. It seems like a scream coming from inside my body, a cry of the soul, a cry of a mother who lost her child. Because that's how I feel.

  Both Antonio, as the woman insisted on the farm a child there, a girl. And if this girl was not next to me it is because I had lost.

  I hear a car stop a little farther and then Mari is next to me.

  - Ceci, are you okay?

  - She has not died? - I ask crying and she hugs me.

  - I'm sorry, friend. If what he is saying is true, then yes, she probably died in the crash.

  I cling to it do not know for how long. I do not know how I got home or in my bed. Just know that the pain in my chest does not decrease.

  The next day, I force myself to go down and work, could not stay forever crying.

  I'm packing some feed bags, when Fatima to my side.

  - Hi, Cecilia. - She smile.

  Looking at it reminds me of what I discovered. Loose the bag, which falls to the ground with everything and throw myself in his arms. I do not know the reason for this, but just feel that, this time, all I needed was a hug and she would be the perfect person for that.

  - She mo-mo ... - I try to speak, but I can only stammer, unable to stop crying.

  - What's it?

  - She ... - I'll be crying clinging to this woman, not knowing who she is really just letting my tears, which seem to have no end, stop run.

  It takes ten minutes and two tissue boxes so I calm down. She sits next to me in my office, without asking anything, just looking at me.

  - I'm sorry - I talk when I'm calmer.

  - It's all right. - It gives a smile. - I will not ask why you're crying because it will probably be the same.

  - Perhaps. - Loose a sigh.

  - Well, I'm here, in fact, to make a call. Sunday will have a barbecue on the farm and I wish you and your friend were like my guests.

  - That pawn will probably be there.

  - Pedestrian? You're talking about one of the guys working on the farm?

  - IT IS. That madman who was yelling at me.

  - The Antonio is not one of the farm pedestrians. - She laughs. - He is one of the owners actually.

  - Even so. I do not know if I want to meet him. Yesterday we had a discussion.

  - And they will continue fighting until they feel like two adults and talk.

  - How can I talk about a subject that I do not remember?

  - It is hard to believe, Cecilia, trying to understand.

  Caught a folder that was in my drawer, I seek a medical report that was there and reach out for her.

  - I have to carry this report everywhere, if I get sick, to be presented to the doctor to attend to me.

  She begins to read the report and takes hands to mouth.

  - You really have amnesia?

  - I have. So I do not know who you are, or who that Antonio claims to be.

  - I'm sorry, honey. - She takes my hand and squeezes it fondly. - Even so, come to the barbecue, will be good and maybe you two can not talk calmly?

  - I think, I promise.

  I spent the rest of the week working as long as possible, try to avoid thinking about my daughter. I knew it best to call my father and demand answers. But for that, they know where I am, which I do not want to know.

  When at last Saturday night arrives, take the decision to go in that damn barbecue, would not let me frighten Antônio and to be sure about the existence of this child, to talk to him.

  I lie on my bed and try to sleep, but unfortunately the same shower image back to my mind. I dreamed of her every night, I could not think of anything else when going to sleep.

  The hands of Ignatius running through my body, awakening my desire, his lips on my skin.

  Loose a scream with rage and go to the shower take a cold shower.

  Sometimes I wanted to find out who is that Ignatius, to be sure if his hands through my body would be as good as I imagined, but was afraid to find out that I probably had betrayed my husband with another.

  Chapter 8 - Ignatius

  I should not have precipitated me and
brought it to my daughter. I should have followed my original plan and discovered through her friend Mari, or the private detective hired my mother. But no, I let my emotions dominate me and desestabilizei Cecilia.

  And his reaction was the one I least expected it in this world. I know Cecilia practically since I was born, know all their bodily expressions, twitches denouncing when she is lying, and the reaction was when I told him about our daughter, did not seem in any way as something rehearsed. This is making me with a flea in the ear. She turned pale, lost forces and leaned on me to not fall to the ground. My skin still burns in the places she touched. Damn it!

  - Anthony, what was that all about? Because if this was all staged, Cecilia deserves an Oscar. Hollywood is just for her - Canoe speech, and my heart aches. Something is wrong in all this. Cicely was never a good actress. But I can not forget that she cheated on me once. She pretended to be happy, but in the first fight we had she left and took my daughter.

  - I do not know what to think, Canoe! - I say frankly. Diogo puts his hand on my right shoulder and asks to account for Suzi.

  - But now? We thought we could meet later stallion - she proposes me, but nothing seems more inappropriate.

  - I'm not in a very good day, Suzi. We will leave to meet in the same barbecue. - I give a weak smile and she just closes the face by my refusal.

  The guys leave me at home, and I wonder what will be what happens in the head and in the heart of Cecilia, but something tells me that I may never find out. I take off my boots, my jeans and my shirt, leaving only boxer shorts. Me playing in bed and does not take long until I get to sleep and dream again with a smiling little girl with chubby hands holding mine, as we strolled through the countryside.

  - Where are you, Dad? Pick me up! - She says, and even dreaming, I feel the tears running down my face.

  The next morning, I wake up with hands stroking my hair.

  - Son, it's past time to wake up. You do not sleep much since teenager.

  I make a great effort to open his eyes and find my mother beside me, looking at me with serene face. Why did I give the key to my house for all my family? It would be nice, just for one day, can disappear from sight, without having to answer inappropriate questions and not have to give satisfaction to do or cease to do.