by Wanda Boyd
- I'm sorry for hours, but I would not be able to sleep until we get right things. There are so many things I need to know you, I no longer know what it is to have peace in this life. Please, Cecilia! I never begged anything to anyone, but I beg you: please tell me where is our daughter. I promise not will question the reasons you have taken her from me, nor have party nothing. I just need her. I need ... - I feel the tears running down my face and I realize I'm kneeling in front of him, hands begging for your answer. - I need you to tell me at once. Where you hiding? - Her eyes fill with tears and she collapsed into tears.
- I'm sorry, Anthony! I'm so sorry!
She feels sorry. What do you feel? No, I can not be what I'm thinking.
- As well, you're sorry? No, you do not feel much. Do not lie to me, Cecilia! Please do not say that ... no! - I look deep in your eyes and see all the pain that this matter because in his soul. She's mean what I think it is? No, I will not stand to hear it. - Ceci, tell me everything! Please be honest with me.
She wipes away her own tears and finally says:
- I'll tell you everything, Antonio! I promise! She holds my hands, and I feel that my world will fall apart even more.
Chapter 13 - Cecilia
- I'll tell you everything, Antonio! I promise! - Safe hands and take a deep breath. - I do not remember our daughter, I do not remember how it feels to move it, or the name of my little girl I remember.
- Clara - he says with a sigh and look at him. - Her name is Clara.
- It's a beautiful name.
- You would not take another name. I went blackmailed so she called Clara. - He does not look at me and realize that you are reliving the moment in your head. - You said when we had a boy, I would choose the name, but that our daughter would call Clara anyway. I agreed with you.
- I wish I could remember her just like you. - I feel the tears running down my face and he looks at me.
- It's not funny, Cecilia. Speak soon where Clarinha is.
- I had an accident, Antonio, I woke up a month later, the coma. - He looks at me and I see their eyes fill with tears, approach him and caught his hand leading up to the scar on my head on the left side, I feel his fingers go lightly on it. - I really do not remember anything before the accident, but remember everything after waking up from the coma.
- No, Ceci. - He lets out a moan of pain and pulls the hand of my hair.
- I was pregnant when I woke up. - He grabs my arms tightly and do not feel pain, on the contrary, it was as if the fact that he was there with me amenizasse what I was feeling. - My parents and doctors did not talk about a pregnancy, then it can only be ...
- No! - He shouts and rattles me, grab his shirt and pull me against him. - You are lying.
- Why would I lie about that?
- That's just what I want to know. Why are you making this whole story? Why is being a daughter of a bitch and keeping me away from my daughter? Where is Clara, Cecilia?
- She mo-died. - I stammer and he squeezes my arms stronger still. - I was not pregnant, Antonio, I lost my baby. - I grab his shirt and try to pull me to his chest, I do not know if the words finally make sense to him, or if he needs this embrace as much as I, but he let me embrace it and passes her arms around my body I pressing against his chest.
- No -. He repeats, and feel your body trembling.
- I really wanted to be a daughter of a lying bitch, having lost my baby. - Choro feeling all the pain that seems to explode from my body.
I feel his arms wrapped around my body, holding me to him. His face is hidden in my hair and his body trembles clinging to mine.
I take one of my hands to his head and make a caress, the pain I felt when I realized I had lost my baby is now smaller, she dissolved in his pain and turned one. I can never remember my husband, but this time with him would be recorded forever.
- Do your parents know where she was buried? - Ask away, but keeping me in his embrace.
- I do not know, they never say anything about it. And I'm putting off ask, do not want you to know I'm here. I do not know, I feel that if they know, will disrupt everything I found out so far. They never told you.
- I can not understand what happened, Cecilia, why leave?
- Do not know.
He looks at my face for a while and get up off the ground. The watch walk by my room.
- I'll try to find out what happened, I'm going to the end of the world to find out about my daughter and where she was buried.
He leaves the room and listen to the room door slam, fall back on the bed and I hear a cry of pain, I feel someone hug me, and I'm just crying on the shoulder of Mari.
- I'm sorry, friend.
I do not know how long I cried clinging to Mari, just know that the tears dried up and I knew I had to get up and play life, even being hard to do.
When I finally I calm, listen to the voice of Mari speak:
- I have to go to the Blue Sky, we have an outstanding work there.
- I will go with you.
- Are you sure? If you can stay at home, been through a lot these twenty-four hours.
- I need to work, Mari, staying home will not bring my daughter back.
Mari drive to the farm since I could not do it, I confess that five minutes in the car and had already beaten repentance, should have stayed at home resting. But now I would not go back. car and go down the path with Mari to the stables, where we hear voices. - What makes Cecilia here? - Antônio screams and looks completely different from the man who came out of my home a few hours ago.
- Working, I was hired, remember? I will not stay at home, we can now work? - Step by him walking slowly, and he starts cursing.
- If you really want to work, you will look at the car of cattle, can not even walk right. Ten minutes later, I was sitting on the seat of a pickup truck with Magno driving. Mari went ahead with it, and I was behind with Antonio. I notice that he looks at me eye corner, my will was looking at him, hug him, feel his arms wrapped around me again.
- How many bulls you have? - Mari question and look at the Magno trying to concentrate.
- Three more alpha. He is my best player.
- He probably already crossed almost all the cows? - I ask. - We try to avoid the most crosses between him and his daughters, but can not avoid - the Anthony says.
- Have you ever thought about selling it and buy another? - I ask.
- Despite years in this area, I am afraid to change without making sure the other will be good. I've thought about insemination too.
- It is risky, because it has to ensure that the person is actually selling a good quality semen. Ideally change the bull. If we can accompany you in any auction. - I speak.
- We think that hypothesis, father. It really is necessary to replace the bull.
- Okay, Anthony, then combines with them, I learned that will have an auction in the nearby town. If you need to take our and already sells there too.
The Great park the car in a pasture and see in the distance the bull staring at us, he walks slowly toward us and just looking, I can see that he has a good pedigree, a decent-sized player.
After spending an hour watching the cattle, went back to the stables, car descend slowly and feel the Antonio nearby, always watching me. I try to ignore it and walk into an enclosure where a beautiful black horse is grazing, look at it and realize it's the same as I tried to play the other day.
The horse looks at me and seems to recognize me, he trots up to me and touches the nose on my face.
- Hi. - Step by hand on his neck and he looks like.
- He missed you so much and ... - The Antonio stops talking and looks elsewhere.
- What's his name?
- You should know, Cecilia, that horse is his.
- I said I do not remember anything, Antonio - answer nervous.
- Thunder. His name is Thunder. The colt that you saved another day's cub it.
- Oh really? - I give a smile and I will do the caring Thunder. - It will be a magni
ficent horse like his father.
The Antonio supports his arms on the fence and watch your profile.
- No more stand this whole fight. If you really want to play the single, fine by me.
- You are living as single, Antonio.
- As well?
- I saw you with that waitress yesterday. You do not look like someone who is married.
- My woman left without caring about me. Why should I live as a married man, if she refuses to live like this? - He practically screams and the Thunder stirs beside me.
- I said I do not remember anything. - I grab the neck of the horse and feel my body shaking as tears. - I wish I could remember everything, remember why he left. Remember our daughter, remember you.
- Cecilia ...
He stops talking and lets out a sigh, pull away the horse and eye for Antonio, who is head down.
- Believe me, Antonio, my past is a complete blank. And if you are already difficult to live with it, imagine for me.
- I will investigate this story, Cecilia. - He raises his head and looks at my face. - I'll investigate everything you're saying, and if I find out you're lying to me, that this is all a scam, it is better not to appear in front of me.
- I'm not afraid of your threats, Anthony. Really I do not remember anything.
Step by him going toward the car.
If he wanted to investigate, to stay at home. Maybe so, some things would be clarified, I even had to investigate some things too.
Against Mari supported in the car, talking with Diogo and I to her, he turns away and I see that my friend is red.
- What's it?
- He called me out - she answers and looks for cowboys and away.
- You accepted? - I ask lively.
- I accepted.
- Good luck friend. Really I hope its history with cowboys is better than mine.
- I saw you two talking. It's all right?
- He said he will investigate the accident and find out what happened to our daughter.
- I hope he can. - She looks at my face, looking at me. - But that's not why is this so?
- I had that dream again.
- Oh really? - She asks incredulously.
- Now I'm sure, Mari, I betray Antonio with another man.
I hear someone walking stomping and see the canoe behind me, going back to the barn.
- Does he heard? - Mari question and let out a groan.
- I hope not, because if he heard, going to tell Antony.
Chapter 14 - Ignatius
I walk into my parents' house in search of my mother, because I needed to talk to her urgently.
Several times I thought I'd go to the police to report the disappearance of Cecilia and our unborn baby, but the truth is always afraid that if I did that, we could never recover what we had. How stupid I was! She was gone for so long that I now see that we can never recover it. I never could trust her, and she, in turn, will never again be the same Cecilia because she does not remember their choices, their history. And what is a person without such things? The choices a person form his character, his personality. How can I trust someone I do not know? And what I stand today in your life? Anything! I'm just a stranger.
Curse! I should have gone to the police! It should not have been so stubborn. My parents always encouraged me to seek police help, but I always I insisted that they return on their own. If I had done what was right, I would not have lived so many years in this agony, and perhaps Cecilia had recovered the memory, for I have sought long before and it would have helped. Things could be totally different.
- Ignatius, my boy. What are you doing standing there in the middle of the room, in this state? - Lucy asks to see me.
- This state? As well? I stink? - Smell my armpits and do not feel any smell. - I have not even went to the chicken coop, or the pigsty.
She cover her mouth to hide his laughter.
- None of that! I meant in relation to his catatonic state and his pallor. I know enough to know you're having one of those days.
- You always hits, Luzi! Wanted to talk to my mother, you know where she is?
- Yes I know. It's in the bath. I'll call her as soon as she left, but in the meantime, I'm going to find a way that your face a few friends. I know very well what you need.
I smile, knowing full well what she meant by that.
- There you go trying to fatten me up.
- Fatten? There is a lot of fat that your corpão not. There are only delights. Oh, if I were thirty years younger, and you were like a son to me. - She says, and then laughs at his own comment. Just laughing, too. She suddenly disappears and I sit at the table, because I know that she will come back with various delicious delicacies.
And it's not what happens exactly? Geladinhos juices, homemade bread, banana bread and marmalade are put in front of me. Immediately I start to devour and problems are disappearing one by one.
- You will never change, Antonio! Just put a treat in front of your mood back to look amazing. - It gives an affectionate kiss on my forehead and says: - Now yes, I can call her mother. God forbid, let it find you with that sour face. - And then she climbs the stairs, leaving me alone with the food Mundaréu.
A hurricane braids goes home and comes running towards me.
- Good morning, Toti! How are you, beautiful little brother? - She says with an innocent voice that does not match your look.
I decide to play a trick for her to learn a lesson.
- You know, Alana, I'm not very well, not. I'm very worried. Inteirinho I spent last night at the hospital with Cecilia. She almost died, you know? It went so badly that he decided to press charges against you. I do not know why, but she is sure that you put laxative in his pastel. Of course I said that you are not guilty. - She looks at me with wide eyes.
- Of course I'm not, little brother! Imagine! - She lies worse than me.
- I imagine, of course! But Cecilia is irreducible. He said that if you did not, it should have been me. She's going, right now, to the police station to press charges against me. And the police will open an investigation, starting with my kitchen. But it was not none of us will find no trace of laxative, is not it? Because if they thought I would be arrested. Imagine this, little sister? After having suffered so much in this life, I still have to go to jail?
- No, Toti! Do not let her go to the police station.
- I can not do anything else. And I have begged to no avail. She should be there, right now. But do not worry, we should not nothing. They can come to my house to investigate all they want, they will not find anything. Is not that right, Alana? - I ask, looking into his eyes, which are full of tears. Then she gives up her charade and confesses.
- Oh my God! I went, Toti! I was I who put laxatives in the food Cecilia. Do not let her call the police, do not want to go to jail, let alone you go.
- Was you? As well? You are crazy? Almost killed Cecilia. I might have to spend the rest of life in prison. - Tears stream down her face and she panics.
- I do not wanna go to jail, do not!
- So I guess good you go to the house of Cecilia and apologize.
- Never! To regret what I did, but the consequences, and not for giving a lesson that little woman!
- It looks like you talk it!
- What do you mean "looks like you speak it?" Have you forgotten everything she has done for you?
- This is a problem between her and me! You do not have to get in the middle. Take care of your life! - I say, but then her cheeks turn red and his eyes wide in shock.
- You do not realize, is not it? She was also part of my life! It was like a sister to me. She took care of me, pretending he loved me. And then she was gone, without even giving a satisfaction. And in addition to hurt me and my brother even took away my niece that I ... - she sobs and continues - I loved so much. - Your words hurt my heart. Never had I realized the lack that Cecilia was in the life of my sister. But that did not justify their actions, and if she had not repented of his actions,
I, like his brother, should make you repent.
- I'm sorry, Alana! I have not noticed a lack that Cecilia had done in his life and also feel to realize that you are not aware of the barbarity committed. I thought you were a better human being. Go to your room, you're grounded!
- You do not own me! Stop acting like my father!
- Oh, then I will do this: I will look daddy and tell him everything you did, so he himself will put punishment. All right? - I look at it seriously, you're looking back, challenging me. But then she hesitates, lowers his shoulders and finally says:
- No, do not tell them. I'm going up. But it does not end here.
- Not just the same, as long as you keep threatening us and not aware of their actions, Cecilia will not drop the charges you are doing against you. I myself will make sure of it.
She snorts, sulky, and climbs the stairs to his room, stomping. But when it comes upstairs, she shouts:
- At this moment, I hate you! - And slams the door with everything.
My mother, who does not know anything, appears blankly.
- What is happening in this house?
- Nothing much, Mom. This is not the real problem. That I'm already solving. The problem is another, can we talk? - Eye in its serene and understanding eyes, and she soon pulls me into the living room and puts me lying with his head on her lap, as if I were a boy.
Funny, the last few days I've been so lost that I feel just like that, as if I were a boy.
- I felt that you need it, son - she says while stroking my hair. - Despite the whole tamanhão, for me you are, and always will be a boy.
I lose speech, thrilled, to realize how much I needed support and care.
- You talked to Cecilia, right? - She asks and I only agree with a nod.
She looks at the horizon and says:
- The subject was the daughter of yours? - Around the nod, but this time, a tear runs down the corner of my right eye.
His eyes are teary and she finally assumes:
- Well, by his gaze and his sorrow I think I already imagine what has happened. To be honest, I had crossed my mind, since Cecilia told me of the accident. But I had hoped that I was wrong. - She sighs and continues to stroke my hair. - My God! I wonder what this girl has passed. - That phrase strikes me my emotional state.
