Forever

by Wanda Boyd

- Now!

  - You heard. - Mari comes into the room. - Get out of our house.

  - I'm your mother, Cecilia ...

  - No, you're just a stupid woman who gave birth to me. You can not be my mother. Why not deserve this title. Now, some here.

  My mother up from the couch and looking at me from head to toe, as if disgusted. Like I was nothing.

  - You're right, I am not your mother. You were only one reason for Elisha to marry me and I have the life I have today. You just served to me to get married. Want to live in this city of shit? Alive. You want to crawl behind an ignorant man? Crawl. I do not care for you, Cecilia.

  My mother left the apartment, a strong pang hits me and everything darkens.

  *

  - If you want to see me, it's just call, do not need to be sick or have an accident - Edgar speaks, so I open my eyes and see that I am in the hospital.

  - What happened?

  - You passed out. Mari said he passed out of nowhere and, for a change, hit his head again. This time, opened a cut eyebrow - speech and I take his hand to his head, feeling the bandage. - What happened dear?

  - My mother was at home and discussed, then felt a strong twinge in his head and everything went black.

  - This always happens, is not it?

  - Whenever extol me or remember something.

  - I asked a new CT scan, soon will get you to the exam, get some rest.

  - It's ok.

  Edgar gives me a peck and close my eyes to try to relax. The eyebrow was beginning to throb. A blurred image invades my mind and I press my eyes closed.

  It's dark and I'm driving, I feel a sharp twinge in his belly and take hands to her, I can feel my daughter practically squirming, a hot liquid begins to drip down my legs, I put my hand to it, shift your eyes for a minute the road to look at my hand and see a dark stain like blood. Let out a cry and look at the road again is a cow crossing the track, turn the steering wheel all to swerve and hit a tree. My last memory is to pray to God that I do not lose my daughter.

  Loose an anguished cry and quickly the hospital room is invaded by nurses and Edgar.

  - Ceci, what happened?

  - I lost my daughter - cry. - I was driving and I began to feel twinges, I saw blood, and hit a tree - speak desperate and he hugs me. - I was losing my daughter, Edgar. I was alone and losing my daughter.

  - Calm, Ceci. - He strokes my hair. - Being nervous will not help anything now. I know it hurts to remember it, but you need to stay calm.

  - It was not me, Edgar, I was losing my daughter, and she was alone. Why he was not with me? - shout.

  - Cybele, prepares two ampoules of lizing.

  - Right now, doctor.

  The Cybele injects the drug in the serum that is bound to my vein, and then start to erase.

  *

  I open my eyes slowly and stare at the hospital room ceiling, like an avalanche of events before I was sedated invade me.

  I try to swallow a node that is in my throat and take a deep breath. I see my bag on the table beside the bed of the hospital and pull her to me, taking my phone, dial the number and Anthony hope it meets.

  - Cecilia?

  - Hello Antonio.

  - Did something happen?

  - I'm in the hospital. - I speak and hear a noise in the background.

  - What now?

  - My mother came home, we discussed, then I passed out, hit her head somewhere and opened a cut. Mari brought me here and I was examined.

  - Are you alright?

  - I think I did a CT scan, do not know, had to sedate me.

  - Because? - Asks worried.

  - You can come to the hospital?

  - Ceci, I do not know ...

  - I need you to come to the hospital, I remembered the accident - speak, crying.

  - Did you remember what happened?

  - I need you, Anthony.

  - Ok I'm going.

  - Thanks.

  Chapter 32 - Ignatius

  I just left my mother and Lucia in the big house and barely had time to enter the mine, before my phone rings. Let him touch a little, as I was turning the front door key. As soon as I enter the room, I got it.

  The voice of Ceci was broken, as if something very serious had occurred. When she tells me she fainted and hit her head, worry makes me alert. How can a human being be doomed to suffer so many accidents in the same region of the body? That's bad luck or carelessness? She asks me to go see her in the hospital and I do not know if it's a good idea. I needed to get away a little and live my life, but she was not making it easy.

  And then she says she remembered the accident. Derrubo the keys on the floor, and throw myself on the couch, because I can no longer feel my legs and not my arms. Nothing else matters right now, just need to know what really happened. I tell her I'm already going to the hospital and it's what I do.

  I can not remember right to have directed. I think it was in my autopilot and, thank God, no accident happened to me.

  Go into your room and meeting curled up in bed.

  - Thank God you came! - She holds out her arms for me to hold her, like a child asking her lap. I approach cautiously and, seeing the sadness stamped on his face, I just held her tightly.

  - Calm. Take a deep breath and tell me everything that happened.

  - I was alone, Antonio. I was terrified, I can feel the fear until now me. My stomach twisted and I knew something was not right with our daughter. Suddenly, I saw blood and never felt so scared. I screamed for fear of bleeding damage our baby and when I turned my eyes to the road, the cow was there, in front of me. I looked without thinking twice, and then ... and then I woke up and prayed t-much more so for our baby to be alive ... - she starts to cry and feel the tears running down my face, too. Clamping strongly against me and tell her that everything good that has passed. I tell her that we now have to follow our lives, that there is no point looking into the past. She did not stop crying, saying that it is her fault, she should have paid attention on the road, so I have an idea to calm her.

  - You have a chance to redeem himself, Ceci. Do not laugh at me, but I buried our daughter. I thought I needed to honor her in some way, even without being aware of where your body. I took a funeral to her with a stuffed pink coffin and a beautiful tombstone. The most beautiful that my money could buy. - I try to stay strong and not crumble to tell all this to her. - I prayed for her, for hours and hours and then I prayed, I talked to her. You should go and see her and talk to her too. If you feel guilty, apologize to her. - Caught in her hand and squeeze tightly. - I'm sure she's a pure soul and that without you even asking, she has forgiven you. Ask her forgiveness, so you can forgive yourself, Ceci.

  She looks at me for several seconds, as if trying to see my soul through my eyes. It makes my heart somersault.

  - You're a great friend, Antonio. I remind you all to know what went wrong between us.

  - I wish I could understand, too. But okay, we agreed to let the anger there, right?

  She nods, still not stop looking at me. Only then did I realize that we are still in hand and at that moment, the door opens and the hair of Cybele the complaint before it even see us. Largo immediately hand Cecilia and pull away to avoid trouble.

  - I came to see if you're more calm ... - She sees me and stops what to say. - Antonio?

  I get up to look like a more casual visit.

  - So you're the nurse Cecilia? You never rest, huh? - I try to play, but the nervousness just makes me say stupid things.

  - Only I do my work - she says, scowling. - Are you better, Cecilia? Surveys indicate that all is well with your head. But if I were you, I would stop trying their luck. Take great care in the coming days. You better stay home and avoid "great emotions". - She emphasized the last words as he stared at me.

  - I'm thinking of gifting you with a helmet, Cecilia. What about? - Damn, another little joke without grace. The two look at me like I was an alien, and I wish to stop pouring idiocies.

  - Cybele, t
hank you for the information. Now I can leave now?

  - No, Cecilia. You will be spending the night watching. Well, then I go back. I'll leave you both at ease. - She turns and goes like a rocket.

  Eye for Cecilia, she's looking at me accusingly.

  - I'll be back, Ceci.

  Nor did she hope to answer, before chasing the Cybele.

  - Cybele! - I call, so closing the door. She ignores me and continues walking. - Cybele, do not be childish. Can you wait for me for a minute?

  - What is it, Anthony? He has over some stupid little joke to do? - Step hands nervously through my hair.

  - I'm sorry for that, I was just nervous about things that Cecilia told me. She remembered the accident, so he called me here. She remembered having lost our baby.

  She looks at me awkwardly for a few seconds, but then she gives up to a tough.

  - I'm sorry for jealousy. It's just that she's so beautiful, and you two have so much history ...

  - We have too much history, that's the problem. We are rebuilding our lives, we have nothing more to each other. And just for the record, you're beautiful. You need not feel diminished by it.

  She finally smiled.

  - All right, Don Juan. You can go back there, to go to work. But look, I'm watching, see?

  This time it is I who laugh.

  - I know, Cybele! I know!

  She disappears down the hall, and I go back to the room of Cecilia. I sit beside him and remain a few moments in silence until she finally asks:

  - This is the girl you walk out, right? Now I remember to have seen you with her karaoke. I ended up not noticing it was her.

  I do not answer, just keep watching in silence.

  - What about Suzi? - she asks.

  - The Suzi was never my girlfriend. I even thought about getting something to her, but it would never work. It does not my type.

  - And my nurse do?

  - Her name is Cybele. And I'm not sure yet, but I'm beginning to think so. - She grimaces and then opens his mouth to ask something, but then closes. - Can you tell what you're thinking, I do not bite.

  - I just wanted to know what your kind of woman. Because Suzi is definitely the worst possible category.

  I look into your eyes, which have always been my destruction, and allow me, how long did not, look directly at them.

  - My kind of woman is one with whom I can talk from the dumbest thing to the thing that disturbs me, without her judge me. It's the kind of woman who is always at my side, supporting me in my decisions, even throw in my face do not agree. It is the type that is safe, that is guaranteed, you know that I am with her, because I love only her and nobody else. And you know, after all, I would be unable to betray her, even in thought. My kind of woman is laughing with me, crying with me, which is silent with me. It's what makes me see it even with closed eyes.

  I look at her and realize that your eyes are teary.

  - What happened? - I say, wiping the first tear falling from her eyes with my thumb.

  - I was your type, is not it? Even without remembering anything, I feel in my heart that you really loved me.

  I look at her as a thousand responses go through my head.

  "Yes, I loved you more than myself, and I'm sure never stop loving."

  I really want to answer that, but I can not. She chose to follow his life with Edgar, and love her so much that it hurts my chest and I miss the air, I have to let her follow her heart.

  I get up and I approach her bed. I lean my head on it and give a chaste kiss on her forehead. My lips get hot just touching your skin.

  - Good evening, Cecilia! Sleep in peace.

  - Good night, Antonio! I ... - she starts talking, but does not end.

  - Yes?

  - Nothing important. Never mind.

  I walk toward the door and when I take a step forward and the closing, I leave the lighter I entered because I leave behind half of my heart.

  Chapter 33 - Cecilia

  - I'll be back, Ceci.

  I look at the door of my hospital room closing and feel a tightness in the chest. The Antonio had gone behind the nurse and left me here alone, having counted as lost our daughter.

  He should have been here with me now, but ran for another woman.

  Thinking right now, I know her from somewhere, red hair it was not strange, try to remember where I saw and karaoke night comes to mind. She was the woman who was talking with Antonio at the bar.

  The Antonio back to my room and sit beside me, we remain a few moments in silence, until finally create courage to ask:

  - This is the girl you walk out, right? Now I remember to have seen you with her karaoke. I ended up not noticing it was her.

  He does not answer, just keeps staring at me in silence. The tightness in the chest gets worse, because when it was Suzi, she was not a danger, did not cause me jealous, but this woman, this woman could take my husband from me, and somehow, it was killing me inside.

  - What about Suzi? - I ask.

  - The Suzi was never my girlfriend. I even thought about getting something to her, but it would never work. It does not my type.

  When he finally explains who would be the perfect woman for him and walks away, I feel the world go round. The pain in my chest gets worse, it looks like someone stuck a knife and is rooting, opening a hole in my chest, one that would never be healed.

  I let the tears fall freely down my face, I had already given up control them. I close my eyes and try to finally sleep.

  I look up the calf I'm doing a love and see the man who makes my happiest days walk to where I am.

  - That way I will be jealous, he's getting more affection than me.

  - He lost his mother and is alone in the world.

  - I am also alone. My girlfriend prefers to stay in a stinky corral than in my bed - talk and laugh.

  - Stop being dramatic. - Levanto stool I was sitting on and go to the fence. - I always prefer your bed, but I like even more when you're with me on it. But you chose to ride a bull, than let me ride you. So do not complain.

  - You had plans to ride me? - Asks with a naughty look and laugh.

  - I had now passed my will.

  - So we have a problem because now who is willing me.

  - Azar yours, will have to wait until later. You promised to take me into town to get ice cream.

  - You can not be after? If we go to the city and find your parents, you will not get back to the farm.

  - Do not worry my cowboy delight, I'll get back with you, I have plans for tonight - speak and get out of the corral, hugging him from behind.

  - And what were these plans? - Asks hoarsely.

  - I need to train for the rodeo, there, I thought of spending the night riding in an angry and withdrawn stallion. - He lets out a laugh and pulls me forward it.

  - Stallion I am, love, but angry and withdrawn, no.

  - It seems not. You are a lot of esquentadinho. - Step into my arms around his neck, he picks me up.

  - I'll take you for ice cream. But there Miss, if you do not keep your promise. I will be forced to tie her to the bed and torturing her all night.

  - Okay, but I want ice cream chocomenta and lemon.

  - I do not know how you do these mixtures of flavors. - He laughs and gives me a peck.

  - You say it because it only knows how to make the ice cream. Too boring.

  - It is because the strawberry flavor I'll have the night in my bed. - It flashes and roll my eyes.

  - Despite the corny words, I still love you, cowboy.

  - Good, because I love you, my queen. - It puts me sitting on the seat of the truck and kisses me. Shoot your hat, darting into the car and grab her hair so that it does not deviate, if he wanted to take me right there, was not going to stop, he had only to touch me so that I was ready for him.

  *

  Twenty Days Later

  Since my last trip to the hospital for twenty days were rare times I saw Antonio personally.

  personally I sp
eak because he was invading my dreams every night. It seems that after I hit my head on the living room table, something awakened in my mind and I began to remember everything.

  Even the Ignatius remembered some things, but his face was still a mystery.

  As the day before finally took the orthopedic boot, I went to a store and bought some flowers, picked red gerberas, roses, yellow and orange. I asked the woman to make a beautiful arrangement. While she prepared the bouquet, I saw a beautiful mini cactus round with a pink little flower on top.

  I remembered all the times I went to the farm with a different cactus and handed to Lucy, who was making a collection. Pego cactus with hope that she does not have this and paid along with the flowers.

  I drive to the farm and stop the big house to deliver the gift of Luzia first walk into the kitchen and see Fatima, Alana and Luzia talking while eating a piece of cake.

  - Good Morning.

  - Ceci - Alana screams and runs up to me, hugging me. - What beautiful flowers.

  - Brought to put on the grave of Clarinha.

  - Are beautiful. - Fatima speaks with a smile.

  - And that, brought to you. - I give the Cactus for Luzia and see their eyes light up. - I do not know if you still do your collection, but as soon as I saw it, I thought of you.

  - For more than five years not won a cactus. The latter was you who gave me. - She takes the cactus like a treasure. - Thank you honey. It's beautiful.

  - Then you will take me to her collection want to see what you have, I will come back to help you.

  - Thank you dear.

  - Alana, would you take me to the grave of Clarinha?

  - Of course yes.

  Path next to Alana to the home of Anthony, and she shows me the way to the grave and says he will leave me alone. I walk over to him, put the arrangement side of the headstone and retreat roses that are there.

  - Hi my love. Sorry not come before - I talk to the grave, as if my daughter were there. I needed it to calm my mother's heart. - Your dad brought roses? - I ask and laugh. - He insists roses, small. He knows how much I hate roses, but he always said he would be the man to get me to like. - I give a smile and look at the sky. - I think he will not have that opportunity. I wish I could say, my love, that their parents are together. But we ended up losing on the road. He met a nice girl, I'm sure you'd like it. Although probably would prefer parents together. - I sigh and look at the headstone. - I miss your father. I'm remembering him, but more than that, the way he always treats me affection. Today I realize that I fell in love with it and I could not admit it to anyone. I lost your father. - Loose a sob and take the hands to the mouth. - I lost and I think it was forever. Forgive me my love. Pardon me for not remembering you, him. And having done all this mess.