Forever & Again

by Allie York

  “It’s just a lot, Jacob. You get that, right? You’re asking me to help you raise a baby that isn’t mine, ours.” I caught the tear sliding down her cheek. “I just need to adjust, but I don’t have time. I don’t have time to even think about any of it because in a month, you’ll have a baby with a woman who isn’t me.” Her one tear turned into a waterfall and I wrapped her in my arms. There was nothing I could do to fix it, so I just let her cry while I whispered promises into her hair. I knew how fucking lucky I was to have her back in my life, by my side, and tolerating all the drama I brought upon us.

  When Oliver knocked on our door, she called for him to come in, and quickly dried her face. Oliver was in his pajamas and wordlessly crawled between us on the giant bed. Lydia tucked him under her arm and fiddled with his damp hair, “So, when will the baby be here?” As much as Lydia didn’t want to discuss it further, she did, and the reassurance was calming. She fully planned on being there, to help and support me, us. Oliver asked a million questions, wanting to know every detail about how the situation would play out. Neither of us could really give him an answer, but we tried to ease his mind, assuring him that after talking more with Tera we would fill him in.

  I growled at Lydia, flipping the screwdriver in my hand so I didn’t throw it at the wall. The crib was going to be the end of our relationship. We were never going to make it down the aisle because we would kill each other over a damn baby bed. Oliver was laughing his ass off from my desk chair and Lydia was holding the three-inch bolt like a shank. Things had lightened up a little in the week after the paternity results came in, but the crib was really going to end it all. Oliver read the instructions again, pointing at each piece as he went and trying not to giggle.

  “Calm down, Dad.” The kid shoved up from the desk chair and tied up his long hair. His hand appeared in front of me and I dropped the screw driver in it.

  “I’ll go get lunch,” I grumbled, climbing from the floor and storming down the stairs. A pack-and-play, a swing, a changing table, and a car seat were all still boxed in the living room. Dad was napping on the couch, and a stack of baby books were piled high on the end table. It was starting to look like a baby lived there. Tera texted me earlier in the week after her appointment, telling me things looked good, and asking if I had thought about names. Truth was, I had no idea. I wanted Lydia to weigh in on names, but was terrified to ask her opinion. Oliver and I had talked about it a little and he had shared some names he liked with me, but that was it. Tera didn’t seem in a hurry to name him, either, since nothing at all had been offered from her end. Maybe waiting to meet the little Teller would be the best bet.

  I picked up some rotisserie chickens, salad, and dressings at the store then grabbed a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. It really couldn’t hurt to thank her for helping with the baby furniture, for sticking by me despite the Tera drama. Ewan called me, asking how it was going with baby items, and offered to come over. I declined, thanking him, and loading up the groceries. I was nearly home when I noticed the black car behind me. It was a sedan, almost like an unmarked cop car. It followed me when I drove past the house and toward the school. When I got to the empty parking lot, I stopped, throwing my door open before I even put my truck in park. The black car stopped, the door opened, and Torin climbed out.

  “Are you fucking serious?” I charged at him, ready to beat his cocky ass to a pulp. I had a suspicion that Torin had been the one following her the day we filed the report, but had no proof until right then. “I suggest you get your ass back in the car.” I growled.

  Torin held his hands up, then propped his sunglasses on his forehead. “Settle down. I come in peace. Since you didn’t go home, I figured I’d just follow you until you stopped.” I stopped a few feet from him. “I just wanted to tell you that Gus is off Tera’s trail for now and I wanted to thank Lydia for dropping those charges.”

  “She what?” I nearly screamed it before wiping my hand down my face. I balled my other fist, clenching my jaw.

  “Calm the fuck down, old man. I threw Gus off of Tera, Lydia dropped the charges. As soon as I figure out a way to make the twenty-grand go away, I will. Right now, I just bought time while Gus looks for her in Washington.” I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about, but I didn’t like a bit of it.

  “Thanks, I think.”

  “I apologized when I saw her at school and told her I had thrown Gus off Tera. It was the least I could do after the way I treated her.” The man looked ashamed to have to say it. “So, I guess Lydia decided to drop the charges. I won’t bother you guys again, but Gus doesn’t give a fuck if Tera is knocked up or not. He’s out for that money and the bastard is not backing down.” Torin moved toward his car. “Tell her I appreciate it and Sarah will probably send a wedding invitation.” With that, Torin got in the car and peeled out of the school parking lot.

  I made it home in a daze, trying to decide on whether I was pissed at Lyd or not. My fiancée had gone behind my back and dropped the charges against the man who beat her, but Torin had redeemed himself, possibly putting himself in danger to do so. Surely bookies didn’t take lightly to being lied to by their employees. If Lydia could forgive him, so could I, but I wasn’t going to let her get away with omitting that little detail. Once I was in my driveway, I leaned my head against the steering wheel and just breathed. Gus the greasy bookie was one less thing to worry about, at least for a little while. I had met with an attorney already and had sent my custody requests to Tera’s lawyer. If Gus would lay off until the baby came, I would be happy. Once the little guy was with me I would feel a lot better about my ex owing thousands of dollars to a dangerous man. The baby could come at any time, and while I wanted him healthy, the sooner the better. Torin could only keep Gus on the wrong path for so long.

  Inside the house I found Dad and Oliver at the table playing cards, but Lydia was nowhere to be found. Oliver pointed upstairs and went back to his cards. They had obviously given up on the crib. I ran up the stairs and had to hold my breath when I pushed our door open. The crib was completely assembled and the light blue baseball bedding was already covering the mattress. A mobile was hanging over one end, playing a light lullaby, and Lydia was sitting in the middle of our bed folding freshly-washed baby clothes.

  “Ollie and I brought the changing table up, but didn’t have time to put it together yet.” Lyd nodded at the box propped in the corner. “It’s still all right for me to go out with Mara tomorrow, isn’t it? Jude and Ollie are excited to go bowling with you.” The beautiful woman sitting on my bed smiled at me and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

  “Of course. You girls have a good time,” There was no more anger about Torin, no more anxiety about the new baby, and no more weight crushing my chest. As long as I had Lyd by me, supporting me, I could do anything.

  Chapter Eighteen

  LYDIA

  I slid Mara her drink and dropped down in the chair across from my best friend. Mitch had made the perfect drinks and it was gorgeous outside for our ladies’ day out. Jacob had Jude and Ollie; it was a quiet Sunday and I needed some time with Mara.

  “Spill it, bitch.” Mara pursed her pink lips around her straw. “I want all the details. Baby, wedding, Torin the jackass, everything.” My best friend narrowed her brown eyes to show me how serious she was. I huffed, sipping my iced coffee, and launched into a detailed rundown of everything from the shady way Tera hasn’t named the baby to Torin sending the bookie on a wild goose chase. Tera barely called, barely sent texts, and gave in easily to Jacob’s custody demands. A late night email from Jacob’s attorney the night before had everything signed and done. Something was off and Mara agreed. When my best friend saw how bummed I was getting over the talk of babies and exes, she asked about the wedding.

  “You, Jovie, Reese, and Cori are bridesmaids. I already sent you the color pallets, and I need to set up a dress shopping appointment. Jacob has Ewan, some guy he was friends with a million years ago and that guy’s twin,
and Julian.” I shrugged, finishing off my coffee. “We have the venue narrowed down to two places and the caterer all lined up.”

  Mara nodded slowly through my speech. “All right, now get your fat ass in my car. We need to find you a dress.” She got up, tossing her purse over her shoulder and looking down at me expectantly. Before I could speak, Mara had my purse in her hand and was walking toward her bright-blue car. I jumped off and scrambled after her, nearly forgetting to wave at the crew of The Brew on my way out.

  I dropped into her passenger seat. “You heifer,” I grumbled, pretending to be angry.

  “Hey, it’s my job. Your sisters are coming and so is Louise.” I gawked from my side of the car. Mara was hardly the responsible one of the two of us. She was kind of self-absorbed and completely against doing anything that wasn’t completely impulsive. “Oh, and I resigned from the school.” There was the Mara I knew. My best friend must have seen the look on my face. “Hear me out before you yell Future-Missus-Teller.” Mara got an eye roll from that one. “You know when Granny died last year she left me a good chunk of change.” I closed my eyes and waited for the horrible idea to fall out of her mouth. She was going to sell all of her possessions and become a silent monk, or travel the country and join a commune. “I want to buy Sweet Temptations.”

  I whipped my head to look at Mara as she stopped the car in front of the bridal store. “The chocolate place on Union street?” My friend nodded slowly, daring to look at me. The woman was a nutritionist and was going to buy a candy store. “So, you quit and are going to buy a sweets shop? Mara Reid, I love it. That is the single best idea you have ever had. You are so perky and business minded. The place does great, and you are the perfect person to run it!” I grabbed Mara’s arm and squeezed. It really was exciting.

  Her brown eyes twinkled and a grin spread across her lips. “Really? I thought you would tell me how impulsive I was and how stupid I was being. Thank you,” Mara whispered her thank you and tears filled her eyes. I hugged her, squeezing her hard, and smiling. “I bet Jude is stoked! His mom is going to own a flipping candy store!” Mara giggled and kissed my cheek before dragging me from the car.

  Inside was a wedding nightmare. White dresses were everywhere. Racks lined the first fifty feet of the right side of store and the entire back wall. The left was entirely made up of bridal party dresses like a rainbow of gaudy satin. We were greeted by a perky girl that was barely out of high school who introduced herself as Alyssa and talked in a high-pitch tone that grated on my nerves instantly. Her Southern drawl would have been cute if it weren’t for the overly perky tone. I was shoved in a dressing room and Alyssa bounced in with hangers of white fabric and started undressing me only to shove me into one of the most uncomfortable dresses ever. The top squeezed my boobs out of the top and the skirt was wider than my arm span with layers of tulle. The look on my face made my assistant rotate the hangers and I heard my sisters come in yelling for me like idiots. I was tugged out of Cinderella’s nightmare and offered a slimmer fitting dress with a mermaid skirt and bodice top.

  Dress after dress was turned down by at least one party of my entourage for the next hour and a half. I was so thankful that they were the ones rejecting, because I truly didn’t like a single one of the dresses, but didn’t want to hurt Alyssa’s feelings. Mara and Jovie went in search of choices of their own while I kept going through Alyssa’s choices. When I heard Mom’s voice through the door, I knew I was in for something.

  “Oh, Jovie it’s so beautiful!” My mother’s exclamation made my stomach knot. I would gladly hurt Alyssa’s feelings before my mother’s, but this was my wedding dress, the only one I would ever wear and I wanted it to be perfect. A flurry of creamy fabric came over the dressing room door and I caught it before my helper could even get me out of the last disaster I was wearing. As soon as I held it up, I knew. The fabric was the color of a freshwater pearl with a lace top and flowing skirt. Alyssa helped me pull it over my head and buttoned the back while I just stared in the full-length mirror. When my assistant stepped around me, a smile pulled up the side of her mouth into a smile.

  “Holy shit, Jovie.” My little sister had picked out the perfect dress. It hugged my curves, wasn’t too skanky or too conservative, and the color didn’t wash out my pale skin. Then I remembered that I had a budget and dared to peek at the price before I got my hopes up.

  “It’s three-hundred, now get your ass out here and let me see my work of art.” Jovie jiggled the door handle after reading my mind, and Alyssa opened it to reveal my mom fussing at Jovie and me for cursing in public. When my most critical sister smiled, I knew I had found my dress. Reese was nodding and grinning like an idiot. Stepping up in front of the three mirrors for the full effect made it even better. My ass looked amazing and the back didn’t have any weird gaps that would need fixing. It was like the wedding gods were smiling down on me.

  I paid for the dress, sad to see it on a hanger again, and followed my groupies out to the cars. “Ladies, thank you for your service. Dinner? I’ll buy, yeah?” After being under budget on my dress by seven hundred dollars, I would gladly cater dinner. Everyone agreed and we loaded up to go across the street to have some Italian. The five of us piled into a booth and Mom immediately rained on my parade. No, she completely drowned the entire fucking thing.

  “How are things going with the new baby preparations?” Mom narrowed her eyes. It was like she was out to sabotage Jacob and me. “Only a few more weeks and he’ll be here.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Any time now. Everything is ready, I guess. We invited Tera to come check out our set up, but she wouldn’t come over.” I hadn’t really added that to the list of shady things Tera was doing, but it was definitely odd. If my son was going anywhere without me, I would make damn sure he had everything set up. “Tera signed off on the custody arrangement too. The baby will be with us half the time and her the other half.” Thankfully, the waiter saved us for a few minutes and took our drink order.

  “Do you even remember what to do with a baby? I sure as hell don’t.” Mara elbowed me. “It’s been a hot minute since we were installing car seats and warming bottles.” Jovie groaned at that one. My poor sister was trying desperately to get my twin nieces to take breast milk from a bottle, but so far, neither little monster would do anything but drink from the tap unless it was Ewan feeding them. It meant no one could babysit for them or the babies would starve.

  “I think we’ll manage. Jacob isn’t as confident about that as I am, but as eager as he is to learn, the man will figure it out fast.” Mom opened her mouth, but the waiter saved me yet again, and her mouth snapped closed until it was time to place her order. Unfortunately, my salvation was very short lived. The waiter had barely turned to leave when my mother started again.

  “I still don’t know how you are accepting this, Lydia. The man has another woman pregnant and you are marrying him. I’m not sure if it’s out of defiance or because you don’t think you’re worth more than that.” My mouth fell open at Mom’s rude words.

  “Mom, oh, my god!” Reese came to my rescue, “Jacob is human and you aren’t perfect, either. That woman was pregnant before and you know it. It’s done, Mom, so just try not to be so damn negative.”

  Reese was talking but Mom’s eyes were locked with mine. “I get it. I really do. I’m not going to lie and pretend to be excited about this, but I would be more disappointed if Jacob was having nothing to do with his baby. The baby didn’t ask for the situation and doesn’t deserve to come into this mess. The least I can do is help Jacob and Ollie love and take care of him.” The knowledge that a permanent reminder of him fucking someone else was going to be in our home was sickening, but it was a baby, and Jacob deserved the chance to be with his son. The bottom line was that if I wanted Jacob, the baby was part of the package.

  The rest of lunch was wedding talk and we planned a date to pick out bridal party dresses and they helped me narrow it down to using my dad’s bed and breakf
ast as the venue. Free always wins out and there would be rooms for us to stay in while we were there planning. If it was nice, the ceremony could be in the sunroom, if not, the dining room could be cleared out and decorated. It also saved us a few hundred more dollars. Mara agreed to take over with the florist and the caterer and Jovie promised that the DJ was under control. Considering how fast it was happening and that we were waiting on a baby to show up, the stress was lessening. I had a dress, the venue was locked down, and everything was ready for baby Teller to show up.

  Then my phone rang. I shoved a bite of pasta in my mouth and slid my thumb to answer it, knowing better than to ignore it. Torin wouldn’t call for no reason at that point. “Yeah,” I answered casually.

  “Tera is in the wind.” My stomach lurched at his words, but I made some noise that made him feel the need to go on. “I’ve been keeping tabs on her, now I’m all invested in making sure your baby stays safe. Her car has been gone all day and not at the usual places. Her apartment is empty, Lyd. You may wanna tell your old man.” Shit. Shit. Shit.

  “All right, thanks. Um, if you hear any more could you let me know? I would hate for that to get ripped out from under us.” I tried to make it sound like I was making plans for the wedding. Mom paid the check despite me being the one who was supposed to pay.

  “Yeah, same here. I’m not a monster, Lyd. Let me know if you hear anything too.” The line clicked, and I let the phone fall in my lap, trying not to think of how Jacob was going to react, or how heartbroken Ollie was going to be. If I found the woman, ever saw her again, Gus the bookie would be the least of her problems. How dare that bitch take everything out on an innocent baby? Even a little part of me started mourning the loss of the baby we were planning for. I knew something was off, knew that bitch was up to something. I just never could have imagined she would pack and run so close to delivery. The woman had gotten us up at the crack of dawn to tell Jacob that the baby was his only to vanish. It made no sense, but unstable people seldom did.