Becoming Forever (Waking Forever Series)

by McVea, Heather

  Plating the pasta, Ash nodded toward a lower cabinet. “To your right.” Emma bent down to open the cabinet, affording Ash a view of her perfectly shaped backside.

  Prepubescent boy, Haines. Keep it classy.

  Chapter 10

  “Yo, partner, you’re back.” Cris jumped up from behind his desk.

  Ash put her bag down on her desk. “Can’t keep a good woman down.” Cris wasn’t a hugger, but he gave her a solid pat on her back and Ash knew he was glad to see her. “Anything new and exciting, partner?”

  Cris sat back down behind his desk. “Still living the dream and making a difference.”

  Ash grinned. “Glad one of us is.”

  Cris shook his head. “I was talking about you.”

  Ash looked up to see him smirking at her. “Sweet of you.”

  “Haines, good to see you back.” Lieutenant Edwards stood in the doorway. “Martinez, anything on Garrett?”

  Cris looked up from his file. “Nothing. Crickets on the tracing for the fibrinolytic enzyme, and the closest we’ve come to anyone of interest is Ela Jacobs, and she’s conveniently disappeared.”

  Edwards shook his head. “Get me a formal write up by close of business today. The captain wants details since this one made the news.” He tapped the door frame several times with his fingers. “Welcome back Haines. Now get to work.” He winked before heading down the hall.

  “I think I’m growing on him.” Ash suggested.

  Cris laughed. “It must be your warm and fuzzy personality.”

  Ash crumpled a Post-It up and threw it at Cris. “Stow it.”

  Cris swatted the flying paper away. “So what are you going to say in the report?”

  “Why am I writing the report?” Ash frowned.

  Cris leaned forward and put his elbows on the desk. “You’re much better with words than I am.”

  “You mean the English language, and stringing all those letters together.” Ash smirked.

  “Yeah, that.” Cris winked.

  Ash opened the laptop on her desk, and hit the power button. “It shouldn’t take me too long to type up that we don’t know shit about who killed Paul Garrett.”

  Cris smiled. “I’m sure you’ll phrase that differently.”

  Ash shrugged. “We’ll see. Speaking of the now AWOL Ela Jacobs, I was thinking I would do a little more digging and try to find out who she is.”

  “Go for it. I’ve run her name through multiple databases and nothing.” Cris reached into his file cabinet, and pulled a thick manila folder out. “Here.” He tossed the file onto Ash’s desk. “Good luck. I have a meeting with Edwards. Annual reviews, and we’re talking about you, partner.”

  Ash pulled the folder toward her. “Neat.”

  Cris left, and Ash pulled Google up on her laptop. She typed in Ela Michelle Jacobs. Variations of the name appeared with links to Facebook, Twitter and several obituaries. She typed in Ela and several links came up with references to the name’s history. Ash clicked on Wikipedia to discover the name’s origins were Hebrew meaning oak. Ash then searched Ela and Hebrew together. She scrolled through four pages of Google search results until a link preview caught her attention. Ash clicked on Nazi Concentration Camp Death Lists. She wasn’t expecting to find anything, but the Holocaust had always piqued her interest in college. Specifically, the psychology of group think that ran rampant in Germany during the Nazi regime.

  “A little light reading, detective?” Emma was standing in the doorway.

  Ash jumped. “Christ, you scared me.”

  Emma walked in and put her hands on Ash’s shoulders, squeezing gently. “Sorry.” She glanced at the laptop screen. “What are you looking at?”

  Ash’s mind went blank as the doctor’s hands gently rubbed her shoulders. “I - I was doing a search on Ela Jacobs.”

  Emma pulled her hands away and walked around to sit on the edge of Cris’ desk. “And you ended up on a concentration camp site?” Emma’s tone had shifted from soothing to nearly accusatory in a split second.

  “Are you with the internet usage committee, doctor?” Ash teased.

  Emma’s shoulders relaxed. “Yes, and there’s been complaints.”

  Ash chuckled. “What brings you to this neck of the woods?” She sensed a subject change was in order.

  “I was over for a meeting and wanted to see how you are feeling.” Emma smiled.

  Ash was touched she had thought of her in the middle of what was certainly a busy day. “I’m tired way too early in the day, but otherwise I’m feeling okay.”

  “It can be difficult getting back into the swing of things after some time off.” Emma hopped the rest of the way up onto Cris’ desk.

  Pleased that Emma clearly intended to stay awhile, Ash rested her elbows on her desk. “What are you doing for lunch?”

  The doctor looked at her watch. “Hmmm, meeting and then grabbing a bite with you.”

  “Twelve-thirty work for you?” Before Emma could answer, Cris came in the office. He stopped for a second and looked at Ash and then at the woman sitting on his desk.

  “Dr. Atman, nice to see you.” He walked around to his desk. “Ah, you’re sitting on a file I need.” He nodded toward the desk.

  Emma planted her palms on the desk, smoothly slid off the corner, and handed Cris the folder. “Here you are.”

  The quickness and smoothness of Emma’s movements immediately reminded Ash of Ela. She looked at Cris to see if he had noticed, but he was focused on his phone. “Gotta go. Thanks, doc.” Without looking up, he left the office.

  “I should be going too. Double back and meet you at twelve-thirty?” Emma asked.

  Ash nodded. She was processing what she had just seen, certain she was reading more into it than was warranted. “Sure.” She looked up at Emma and grinned. “See you then.”

  Emma left, and Ash brought the laptop back up and continued to look through the search results from earlier. She clicked on the concentration camp link, and waited while a PDF file downloaded.

  It was a ledger with a series of names, numbers and dates listed on it. Parts of it were in German, and other parts were what Ash thought was Polish. She highlighted several passages, copied, and pasted them into Google Translate.

  Krakow Labor Camp Worker Registration Log and Death Records for Years 1943 through 1945 popped up on the screen. Ash’s eyes skimmed the PDF document looking for the key words that caused this page to populate her search. It was on the fourth page of the document that she paused. She didn’t need to have the words translated.

  Ela B. 105975. This alone could have been nothing more than a coincidence, but it was the four names appearing two pages after - presumably another reason why this document populated on Google - that caused the hair on Ash’s arms to standup.

  Iwan Collins 107062, Jacob Collins 107063, Michelle Collins 107064, Rachel Collins 107065. Their names appeared on a separate sheet, that according to Google Translate, contained the names of skilled workers like engineers and chemists. Ash assumed this was why their full names where written.

  She stared at the screen for several seconds, and then clicked the print button. Sitting still in her office, the quiet hum of the printer in the corner of the room was the only sound. The meaning of what she had just discovered eluded Ash, but she knew it meant something.

  Her phone vibrated on her desk. She saw it was Lara. “Hi.”

  “Hi. I hadn’t heard from you and wanted to make sure we are still on for tonight.”

  “Absolutely. Seven at Urban Taco?” Lara and her had spoken several times while she was convalescing at home, but Ash needed time to think about their relationship so they hadn’t actually seen each other in over a week.

  “I’ve missed you.” Lara admitted.

  Ash smiled awkwardly into the phone. “Me too. See you later.” She pressed the end button, and got up to retrieve the printouts. The truth was she wasn’t looking forward to the dinner. She had decided to end things with Lara.

 
She hoped it wouldn’t be too much of a scene considering they had only been dating casually for a few weeks. The decision had ultimately been easy because every time Ash thought about Lara, her mind would inevitably wander to Emma. Ash wasn’t always the most astute observer when it came to matters of the heart, but even she couldn’t ignore the signs, and had finally decided not to string Lara along.

  “Whatcha got there?” Cris walked back in the office.

  “Good, you’re back. I have something.” Ash walked to her desk, grabbed a highlighter from the drawer, and quickly marked the five names. She laid the sheets of paper on Cris desk in front of him. “What do you see?”

  Cris looked at the highlighted names for several seconds. “She’s using Rachel Collins’ family’s names as her own?” Cris frowned. “Why?”

  Ash shrugged. “I don’t know, but maybe this is about some family conflict dating back generations.”

  “But why would that lead to Garrett being murdered? Wouldn’t she kill Rachel?” Cris asked.

  “And what about Rachel? Is she named after this woman on the ledger?” Ash’s train of thought got very questionable as she considered this. Part of her thought the woman on the camp ledger was probably some distant aunt or grandmother Rachel was named after, but the more diabolical, suspicious part of Ash’s mind, considered the possibility they were one and the same.

  “Has to be.” Cris scoffed. ‘Otherwise, the Rachel livin’ and lovin’ with Sara Glass would be like ninety.”

  Ash nodded. She knew Cris was right, and if Rachel should have been ninety then Ela would have to be at least that old too. Clearly the woman she had met was nowhere near that old. “I’m going to find out more about the Collins and see who Ela B was.”

  Cris nodded. “Agreed. Maybe Garrett’s death was just a poke at Rachel, something to complicate her life before ending it.”

  “Should we warn her?” Ash hadn’t considered the danger to Rachel until Cris mentioned it.

  “I’ll give her a call, maybe she can shed some light on this.” Cris said.

  Ash felt relieved. Even if nothing came of this, which she thought very unlikely, they were finally moving the case forward. Now, she just needed to go break up with a perfectly good woman so she could continue to pine for a complicated, unavailable one.

  ***

  “Is this because of Emma?” Lara asked as she took a drink of her frozen margarita.

  Ash shook her head. “No. Emma and I are friends. This is because I’m not ready to take the next step and you are.” She was being a bit of a coward not owning up to the fact it was, in part, about Emma. She and the doctor had lunch earlier that day. The conversation and her company was easy and left Ash feeling almost euphoric.

  She didn’t think she owed Lara all the details though. Maybe if they had been dating longer, or exclusively, she would feel differently. The fact they hadn’t even slept together pushed Ash into the fewer details the better category.

  “I don’t believe you.” Lara’s tone was sharp and accusatory.

  Ash was taken aback. She had never heard Lara sound so angry. “Lara, it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than bad timing and missed connections.”

  Lara put the icy beverage down, and leaned back in her chair. Her light eyes were still as she glared at Ash. “I saw how you looked at her in the hospital. And the way she looked at you, the two of you practically reeked of it. It was disgusting.” Lara’s words were laced with venom.

  Ash tilted her head back in shock. “Whoa. Let’s back this up a minute. First, there was barely a you and I. Second, I don’t owe you anything more than this-isn’t-working-for-me.” Ash reached in her bag to get her wallet out. As far as she was concerned the conversation, along with the relationship, was over.

  “She’s going to be livid.” Lara muttered, cracking her knuckles one at a time as she stared at her margarita.

  Ash hesitated and looked up at Lara. Her face had taken on a scowl. It made her usually beautiful features seem slightly wicked. “Who’s going to be livid?” She wasn’t sure why she asked. The conversation was already tense, but the comment was cryptic and piqued Ash’s curiosity.

  Lara glanced up at Ash swiftly, and then just as quickly, went back to staring at her drink. “Nothing. I hope you and Emma are very happy together.”

  Lara’s insistence in making this about Emma was irritating Ash. “You don’t know anything about it, or her.” The sharpness in her own voice surprised Ash as she pushed back from the table.

  Lara laughed. “I know her better than you do.” Her voice went up several octaves as she practically sang the words.

  Ash had started to stand, having tossed two twenty dollar bills on the table, but then stopped as a shiver ran down her spine. “What?”

  Lara shrugged. “Nothing. I’m sure the two of you will be very happy.” Lara picked the margarita up and took another drink. “Ecstatic no doubt - happily forever after.”

  Ash shook her head. The woman was mental, and Ash’s decision to cut their acquaintanceship short was being validated by the second. “Cryptic, Lara. Clever. Piss off.” Ash pushed her chair back and quickly exited the restaurant.

  Walking to her car, Ash felt like she could breathe again. What the fuck was that? She had dated women who didn’t handle breakups well in the past, but she had never seen a complete shift in personality before.

  Lara, on the other hand, had become this uncomfortable combination of hysterical and conniving all at once. Ash got in her Jeep, and immediately locked the doors.

  She hit the call button on her phone, and a few seconds later Alan’s voice filled the interior of her Jeep. “Good evening, friend.”

  “Nothing good about it, Al.” Ash put the Jeep in reverse.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “So I decided to grow a pair and end it with Lara. To the point you made last week, I didn’t want to hurt her.”

  “Does this mean the good doctor is now in the picture?” Alan practically squealed with delight.

  “Maybe - well not really.” Ash chewed on the inside of her cheek. “That’s not the point. The point is Lara just went all Joan Crawford and Maleficent on me. So when you see your client again, you may mention to her that her friend is a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs.”

  “Boo. I haven’t seen Ana in a while actually. Which is odd since her order arrived nearly a week ago.” Alan was obviously unfazed by Ash’s revelation.

  “Well, pass it on.” Ash repeated. “I have to go, we’ll chat later.”

  “Go get her, tiger.” Alan growled.

  Ash couldn’t help but laugh. “Settle down, boy, and don’t get your hopes up for me and the doctor.”

  “Too late. Hope is sky high. Bye.” The Jeep went silent.

  Ash accelerated as she merged onto the expressway. Strangeness aside, she was glad she had the conversation with Lara. It didn’t change anything between her and Emma, but it did free her from any guilt over being with Lara while having feelings for Emma.

  She turned the satellite radio on and laughed when Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know came over the speakers. “That’s subtle.” Ash changed the channel.

  The first line of Josh Ritter’s Kathleen echoed through the cabin. All the other girls here are stars, you are the Northern Lights. Ash had heard the song a hundred times, but now she thought of Emma. Her knee jerk reaction was to feel silly and sappy, but pushing past that, Ash felt the comparison was accurate.

  She could feel the gradual dismantling of her carefully constructed denials. For better or worse, she was unable to resist her attraction to Emma anymore. More importantly, she was rapidly losing the will to try.

  ***

  Ash stood on the sideline of a sprawling green soccer field. The sky was overcast and a slight breeze coming from the north made her question her choice to wear shorts for Aiden’s game. The STAR Soccer Complex was located in a former quarry near the northeast corner of San Antonio, and maintained thirteen full size soccer fields.
At Ash’s instruction, Aiden and ten of his team mates were running wind sprints at midfield to warm-up before their game.

  Ash cupped her hands around her mouth, and yelled to the team. “Okay, everyone grab a ball, and let’s do figure eights.” She watched as the eight, nine and ten year olds scampered around after the loose balls. The Coyotes were clad in black Umbro shorts that nearly came down to meet the long gray socks each child wore. Their jerseys we gray with black script lettering, and each child’s last name was embossed on the back above their number.

  Aiden ran toward Ash, leaving his ball in the middle of the field. “Aunt Ash, I have to go to the restroom.”

  Ash nodded. “Where’s your mom or dad?” Ash looked around the field for Amy and Michael. “Get one of them to go with you.” Ash watched as her nephew ran toward his parents, and then grabbed Michael by the hand, pulling him toward the brick building that housed the restrooms.

  Ash turned her attention back to the team, and made her way to the center of the field. “Okay guys, huddle up.” She waited for the team to gather. Two of the boys were dawdling near one of the balls at midfield. “Keith, Cory, come over here.”

  Ash loved coaching. She never wanted children of her own, but she enjoyed working with the kids, and watching their skills and personalities grow the longer that they played. It helped that the league was organized so a child could conceivably be on the same team for up to three seasons.

  “The game starts in about ten minutes. Anyone else need to use the restroom?” She scanned their faces. “Rebecca, you have the look.”

  A small brown haired girl in pigtails bit at her nails. “Yes, Coach Haines.” Ash turned toward the sidelines to find Rebecca’s mom, and her heart took several stutters when she saw Emma standing near the far end of the field. She had completely forgotten she had invited her, but knowing how particular the doctor was, Ash wasn’t surprised that she had come.

  Ash forced her attentions back to the team. “Rebecca, your mom is right there. Go get her, and then hustle back.” Ash pointed to a plump, thirty-something woman sitting in a lawn chair on the sideline. Rebecca took off at a full run toward her mother.