Becoming Forever (Waking Forever Series)

by McVea, Heather

  Ada nodded. “About an hour ago. We’re to take the Runabout to services.”

  “Did Martha go with him?” Emma smiled at the mention of her sister. She was singing at services today, and Emma was so proud of her. She had initially shied away from their father’s suggestion that the singing she did while tending to the chickens, was better suited for a more refined audience.

  “She did. Poor thing couldn’t even eat, she was so nervous.” Ada walked toward the foot of the stairs. “Mary Elizabeth Atman, if you’re not down her in one minute, you will be mucking out the horse stalls for the next two weeks.” Ada wiped loose flour from her apron. “That child will be the death of me.”

  Emma sat down at the table, and served up three plates. As she was spooning the last of the grits onto Mary’s plate, the young girl came bounding down the stairs. “I’m up!” She jumped over the last step, and ran to the table where she dramatically flung herself into one of the thin wooden chairs.

  Ada took her apron off, and hanging it on the metal hook just inside the kitchen doorway, joined Emma and Mary at the table. She bowed her head. “Well, for that and other blessings, let us give thanks.” She smiled at her daughter as the three females joined hands. “Bless us, oh Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty. Amen.”

  “Amen.” Emma lifted her head, picked up her spoon, and stirred the steaming bowl of grits. “Mary, did you finish your primer Miss Calvin assigned?”

  The girl was chewing a spoon full of raisins as her eyes widened. “How do you know about that?” She covered her mouth after a rogue raisin popped out.

  Emma smiled. “Miss Calvin and I spoke last week, and she said you haven’t been turning in your assignments. She gave me a list of what would be due for the next three weeks.”

  Mary looked at her mother, and then back at her half-sister. “I - I left my book at school.”

  Emma shook her head. The twenty-two year age difference between her and Mary had caused their relationship to become more of a mother daughter dynamic over the years. A role Ada was comfortable with and Emma enjoyed. “Then we’ll need to go by the school on the way home from services and get your book. You best hope Miss Calvin is willing to open the building up for you.”

  Rebecca Calvin had relocated to Grafton with her parents and brother over a year ago. The family was originally from Richmond, but recent strains on the economy because of the threat of succession had forced William Calvin and family to move to Grafton and take up residence with his older, spinster sister Helen.

  Grafton had seen a tremendous amount of growth in the past ten years as a result of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, which had merged a number of branch lines off the railroad's mainline and through Grafton. Shortly after Mary had been born, there had been less than two hundred people who called Grafton home. Now, nearly seven hundred residents occupied the Tygart Valley River town.

  William Calvin was a carpenter by trade, and the town’s counsel had managed to raise enough funds for him to build a small schoolhouse near the far north end of town. Rebecca had agreed to take a modest annual stipend to teach the thirty children whose parents saw fit to send them to school.

  Even with an abridged school year to account for the planting and harvesting seasons, most parents didn’t see any value in their children receiving a formal education. This was especially true for the girls, who it was assumed would marry in their early teens and bear children.

  Henry Atman, on the other hand, had insisted all his children learn to read and write. Emma didn’t have the benefits of a formal schooling, but Henry had spent countless hours with her and Martha teaching them reading, writing and arithmetic. Emma had a natural curiosity for how the world worked, and would pull the trunk from under her father and Ada’s bed out regularly, in order to read and re-read the books stored inside.

  “Can’t you go get the book, Em?” Mary smiled broadly. “Miss Calvin likes you better anyway.”

  Emma shook her head. “She likes you too, Mary, but you have to apply yourself.”

  Ada reached for her daughter’s hand. “You’ll ask your teacher after services to retrieve your book, and then you won’t forget again ,Mary. Am I clear?”

  Mary nodded. “Yes, momma.” The dark haired girl stuck out her lower lip, and began squeezing one of the raisins between her thumb and forefinger.

  “Playing with your food is a good way to ensure you’ll go to bed hungry tonight young lady.” Ada took a bite of grits as she glared at the girl.

  Mary dropped the raisin. “May I be excused?”

  “Where do you plan on going? We’re leaving for services in a few minutes.” Ada asked, her eyebrow raised.

  Mary waved her hand in the air dismissively. “Around.”

  Emma and Ada both had to stifle a laugh at the young girl’s flippantness. “Around, you say?” Emma asked.

  “Around.” Mary nodded.

  “You can be around this table with Emma and me, and then you can be around the family at services.” Ada tried to sound firm, but her tone teetered on amused.

  Mary shrugged, and sank lower into her seat. Emma couldn’t remember how she was at that age, but according to her father, she was every bit as precocious as Mary. The three finished breakfast at a little past seven, and began cleaning the plates and pans.

  Once finished, Emma hitched Red, a ten year old chestnut colored quarter horse, to the Runabout, and the three climbed onto the buggy. Emma and Ada sat on the ends of the narrow black bench, while Mary was safely wedged between them. Ada steered the buggy along the narrow dirt and rock path lined with pine and spruce trees.

  The Methodist church was a fifteen minute ride from their house, and looking down at Mary, Emma could already see the child was dozing off. She put her arm around the small girl, who turned her shoulder toward Emma, and cuddled into her side.

  Rounding a bend in the road, the church came into view. Nestled among a cluster of pine trees, Grafton Methodist Church was a simple, single room structure. Its wood siding had been painted white with black trim around the four windows that lined either side of the church. A modest iron cross sat atop a slight gable over the front entrance to the building.

  Families were making their way into the sanctuary as Emma, Ada and Mary pulled the buggy to a stop in front of a wooden fence post. The three disembarked from the Runabout, and Emma tied Red to the post. “Mary, you best be awake for your father’s sermon this morning.” Ada took the yawning girl’s hand.

  “I will, momma.” Mary rubbed at her eyes as Emma gently patted her back.

  “Mrs. Atman, Emma, how are you this morning?” Rebecca Calvin was standing next to her brother Seth. The two were two years apart in age, and both were tall with light blonde hair that, when the sun hit it, had hints of red.

  An immediate smile came to Emma’s lips. “We are well, Rebecca, and you?”

  Rebecca returned Emma’s smile. “It’s a beautiful morning, so I can’t complain.”

  “Rebecca, is your mother here this morning? I would like to talk with her about the women’s auxiliary.” Ada interjected.

  “She is, Mrs. Atman. She is around here somewhere.” Rebecca looked down at Mary. “And how are you, Mary?”

  Mary held tightly to Emma’s hand. “I’m okay.”

  Rebecca looked at Emma, her brow furrowed. Emma shook her head at the child. “She’s had a rough morning. One of her making, I might add.” Emma nudged Mary. “Go ahead.”

  Mary sighed. “Miss Calvin, I forgot my primer at the school. Can I-” Mary hesitated as Emma gently squeezed her hand. “I mean, if you wouldn’t mind, can you please let me get the book after services?”

  Rebecca looked at Emma and smirked. “I think I can manage that, Mary.”

  “Thank you, Miss Calvin.” Mary smiled, and pulling away from Emma, skipped toward the church. “Come on, momma, I want to get a seat up front.”

  Ada shook her head. “Now she’s in a hurry.” The woman followed the young
girl through the front entrance of the building.

  “You look lovely this morning, Emma.” Seth Calvin was over six feet tall. Years of working with his father had given him broad, muscular shoulders. His jaw was angular, and his lips full with a slight pink tint to them. He was by far, one of the more eligible bachelors in the town, and it was obvious to everyone that his affections were set on Emma.

  “Well, thank you Seth. You’re looking rather dapper this morning yourself.” Emma smiled.

  “Seth, I’m ready.” Near the front of the church, Nan Calvin called for her son. She was a short, thin woman, wrapped in a gray shawl.

  Seth rolled his eyes. “Coming, mother.” He smiled at Emma, and walked quickly toward the woman.

  “Where’s your father today?” Emma asked Rebecca.

  “He’s under the weather.” Rebecca looked down.

  Emma knew that look. William Calvin was a good husband, father and provider, but it was common knowledge that he liked to over indulge in the spirits from time to time. “I hope he feels better.” Emma reached for Rebecca’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

  Rebecca and Emma had become fast friends in the year they had known each other. Emma had found herself immediately drawn to the woman’s intelligence and kindness. It was only recently that she had also began to notice the beautiful green of Rebecca’s eyes, and the fullness of her lips.

  “Seth is very taken with you.” Rebecca grinned as she entwined her fingers with Emma’s

  Emma shook her head, and looked down at Rebecca’s long, slender fingers. “Your brother has many fine qualities. Subtlety is not one of them.”

  Rebecca laughed and the sound warmed Emma’s heart. “He wants me to inquire as to your intentions towards him.”

  Emma’s eyes widened. “I have none.”

  Rebecca frowned. “But you said yourself, he has many fine qualities.”

  “Yes, but I don’t love him.” Emma knew she could never love Seth, and any affection she had for him were rooted in how much he reminded her of Rebecca.

  Rebecca leaned toward Emma and lowered her voice. “But you are in love?”

  Emma stepped back, the nearness of Rebecca becoming too much. “I am not.” She forced a shocked tone, but felt she had failed to convince her friend.

  “You don’t fool me, Emma Winifred Atman. You have that look.” Rebecca looped her arm through Emma’s.

  “I have no such look.” Emma allowed Rebecca to pull her toward the church. “Besides, how would you know that look?”

  Rebecca stopped, and looked intently at Emma. “I’m not naïve, Emma.”

  Emma wanted to ask Rebecca who she had loved. What man had been stupid enough to not return her affections tenfold? Instead, Emma leaned into Rebecca, and the two women walked into the church.

  ***

  “Greed poisons men's souls, and when that greed is nurtured with the blood of another human being, it becomes a disease.” Henry Atman stood behind a narrow wood podium. His left hand rested on the corner of the podium, while he gestured with his right. “We think too much and feel too little, brothers and sisters. Where is the humanity endowed by our Lord?” He scanned the crowd. “For without it, our Union will not survive if the success of a few is built upon the misery of the many.”

  Emma had heard her father practicing his sermon the night before, but it was always more moving when he fully emoted and allowed his deep baritone voice to rise and fall. Her father made no secret of his disdain for slavery, or his support of the northwest counties of Virginia, which were refusing to secede should Virginia ratify its membership in the Confederacy.

  “No man shall be another’s master, for we are all God’s children. Created equal in the eyes of God.” Henry’s voice grew louder as he neared the end of the sermon. He pointed to the rows of people. “You have a moral obligation to stand up for what is right, what is just, what is necessary to ensure the survival of the Union and the liberation of a people.”

  Emma felt tears forming in her eyes. She was proud of her father and how he had held fast to his beliefs, even when he had been threatened with physical harm, and had lost a third of his congregation.

  She looked across the aisle at Rebecca, who sat between her mother and brother. Her eyes were also filled with tears as she held her brother’s hand. Emma knew she loved Rebecca. She didn’t know what that meant for either of them, but she wanted Rebecca in her life as something more than a friend. The realization brought a fresh wave of tears to Emma’s eyes.

  “Pray with me, brothers and sisters.” Henry’s voice quieted as he bowed his head. In unison, the hundred people listening intently, bowed theirs. “God our Father, the qualities we see lived out so well in some people are a reflection of your own goodness. We know we have much to learn from other people who reflect your image and likeness in different ways. Inspire us to respect others fully as our equals, seeing and loving in them what you see and love in them. Amen.”

  Henry turned to his middle child Martha, who sat at the end of the front pew. She sat perfectly still, her light brown hair pulled back in a loose bun at the nape of her neck. “My daughter Martha will be singing, Eternal Father, Strong to Save. Please rise.”

  Martha stood and nervously smoothed out the full skirt of her dark brown dress. Stepping to the front of the altar, she turned to face the congregation. Emma could see from the redness of her cheeks and the wringing of her hands that her sister was nervous. Martha looked at Emma, who sat two rows back. Emma smiled, nodded, and mouthed, You can do it.

  Martha managed a weak smile, took a deep breath and began singing in a pitch perfect soprano. “Eternal Father, strong to save, whose arm hath bound the restless wave…”

  Emma watched with amazement and pride as her younger sister’s voice filled the space of the church. Looking at her father, his eyes full of wonder and delight, she could see the pride radiating from him. Martha’s eyes scanned the crowd, and rested on David Reynolds, a dark haired man with a slight build.

  David and Martha had been courting for nearly six months, and it was common knowledge the two planned on marrying as soon as David, who was a clerk in the local grocery, had saved enough money.

  “Is it wrong that I should be married before my older sister?” Martha had asked nervously of Emma when she and David had first begun talking about marriage.

  Emma put down the dish towel she had been drying the dinner plates with, and turned to face her sister. “That’s backwards thinking, Martha. What difference should my marital status make to you and David?”

  Martha took Emma’s damp hands in hers. “They say if I marry first, it means fewer suitors will be interested in courting you.”

  Emma shook her head. “I do wish you wouldn’t listen so intently to the town gossips.” She put her hand on Martha’s cheek. “Sister, there is nothing bad that can come from your happiness.”

  Martha pulled Emma to her. “Thank you, sister!”

  “…thus evermore shall rise to Thee, glad hymns of praise from land and sea.” Martha held the final note, and then gradually her voice faded. Smiling nervously, she hurried to her seat.

  Henry walked to the podium, a smile covering his elated face. Turning several sheets of paper over, he cleared his throat. “Bow your heads. Lord, we pray not for tranquility, nor that our tribulations may cease. We pray for thy spirit and love. That thou grant us strength and grace to overcome adversity. Amen.”

  Henry raised his head, looked at his wife who sat with Mary on her lap, and smiled. “This concludes our services today. The ladies’ auxiliary has provided punch and cookies in the rectory.”

  Emma inched her way out of the pew. Martha’s arm was immediately looped through hers. “Truthfully, I don’t think I have ever been so nervous in my entire life, Em.” Martha’s cheeks were still flush.

  “You were wonderful.” Emma leaned in and kissed her sister’s cheek. “I think Father was about to burst with pride.”

  Several other parishioners came u
p to Martha, congratulating her and expressing hope she would be singing at future services. Emma gradually pulled away, allowing Martha to linger and enjoy the well-deserved accolades.

  Leaving the church, Emma turned and crossed the small lawn leading to the rectory. Built within the last year, the building was larger than the church itself, and had windows lining either side with black shutters framing each. A steady line of people made their way into the building.

  “Emma, do you want to come with me to get Mary’s primer?” Rebecca was suddenly standing next to Emma.

  “I think Ada wanted Mary to be responsible for retrieving it.” Emma wanted nothing more than to be alone with Rebecca. They rarely had time to themselves as they frequently met at church socials, or other group events.

  Rebecca frowned. “Honestly, I was hoping for a minute alone with you. I need to talk to you about a rather pressing matter.”

  A rush of heat ran through Emma, and she knew her cheeks burned red with it. “Okay. After all, odds are Mary will need to retrieve her forgotten primer at some future date as well.”

  “Low expectations. I like that about you.” Rebecca teased.

  Rebecca and Emma walked the quarter mile to the log cabin style building that housed the Grafton school. Given the limited resources, multiple grades utilized the building, and it wasn’t uncommon for Rebecca to be teaching children as young as seven with ones as old as fourteen.

  Walking along the wood planked floor, the heels of Emma’s boots sounded hollow in the empty space. “What do you want to talk about?” She managed to speak past the lump in her throat.

  Rebecca closed the door, and quickly lit the lamp hanging on the wall nearest her. The dimly lit room took on a yellowish hue as the lamp illuminated the space.

  Blowing the match out, Rebecca crossed the room to stand in front of Emma. “You have to promise you won’t say anything.” Emma managed a slight nod. “Thomas Canter and I are to be married.”

  Emma felt the bottom of her stomach turn, and the flush of heat she had experienced earlier was like a furnace burning at the base of her neck. She leaned back, and managed to sit in one of the small wooden desks before her legs gave out.