Becoming Forever (Waking Forever Series)

by McVea, Heather

  The use of past tense caused a catch in Ash’s throat, and seeing the distressed look on Diane’s face, she knew she wasn’t the only one struggling with the vernacular. “Diane, I -”

  Tears pooled in the woman’s eyes as she reached for Ash’s hand. “He did have a way with words.” Wiping at her eyes, Diane excused herself and went back into the house.

  Ash got up, and headed for the front door as her phone began to vibrate. She glanced at the caller ID and pressed the accept icon on the touch screen. “Hi, Al.”

  “I’m checking in with you so I don’t lose you down any proverbial rabbit holes, Haines.” In spite of the humor, Ash could hear the concern in her friend’s voice.

  “I’m doing as well as can be expected.” She opened the front door and made her way toward her Jeep parked on the street.

  “I’ll see you outside the funeral home at fifteen till?” Alan had texted her earlier that morning and insisted he was coming with her.

  “Got it. Emma will be joining us too.” Ash started the Jeep, and leaned back in the seat, already tired.

  “Check. You know you still owe me the details on that one.” Alan reminded her.

  “I haven’t forgotten. You’ve reminded me every time we’ve talked.” Ash rolled her eyes. Her phone beeped, and she saw Emma was calling through. “Al, I have to go. See you in a bit.” They said their goodbyes and Ash swapped the calls.

  “Hi. Checking to see if you’re on schedule to pick me up.” Emma’s voice filled the cabin of the Jeep, and in spite of exhaustion and depression weighing her down, Ash couldn’t stop her smile.

  “I’m leaving now, and should be there in about twenty minutes.” The normalcy of the exchange, given the events and revelations of the past seventy-two hours, was disconcerting for Ash.

  “Are you okay?” Emma’s sounded concerned.

  “Maybe. Probably. Eventually.” Ash put the Jeep in drive.

  ***

  There were low hanging gray clouds in the South Texas sky as mourners gathered for the graveside portion of Cris’ funeral. Ash, Emma and Alan stood shoulder to shoulder near the back of the group of over a hundred people. The crowd consisted of fellow police officers, family and friends.

  The presiding officer had just presented Diane with the folded United States flag when Emma reached down to take Ash’s hand in hers. Moments later, the first volley of A-15 shots rang out, then a second, and finally the third. Ash had managed not to cry throughout the service, but as Taps began playing after the final volley, the tears flowed unchecked.

  Emma handed her a tissue, and Alan reached around her to reassuringly rub Ash’s back. Leaning into Emma, Ash lowered her head, the oppressive weight of grief pushing her down. She remembered her mother’s funeral, and how the residue of it lingered for months after. The finality brought little comfort.

  “Ash, are you ready?” Alan’s voice was unusually quiet as he stood in front of her. Looking up, Ash realized people had begun to disperse while she was reminiscing.

  “Yeah, just let me go say goodbye to Diane.” Ash looked at Emma, who smiled as she squeezed Ash’s hand reassuringly.

  Winding her way through the thinning crowd, Ash spotted Diane standing with Robert Edwards. She hesitated, recalling her conversation with the lieutenant at the motel, and her insistence the massacre, her break-in, and the Garrett case were all connected. She couldn’t share any of the recent revelations with the lieutenant, but she knew the man well enough to know he wouldn’t let her assertions go unchallenged or forgotten.

  “Diane.” Ash reached for the woman, whose grief was evident by the dark circles under her eyes, and the absence of makeup from the excessive crying the day had brought.

  Although she wrapped her arms around Ash, Diane’s body felt tense. “This was harder than I could have imagined” the woman managed through choked sobs.

  Ash didn’t pretend there were any words sufficient to console her friend; so she just held the woman. Robert stepped forward, and placed a soothing hand on Diane’s shoulder. Making eye contact with Ash, his eyes were blood shot from unshed tears. “Can I talk to you after?” he asked.

  Ash nodded. Her stomach was already cramping, since she knew she was going to have to lie to him. “Sure. I’m parked along the cross street. I’ll meet you near my car.”

  Robert nodded, and turned his attention to Diane. “If you need anything, please don’t hesitate - day or night.”

  Diane lifted her head, and stepped back from Ash, wiping at her eyes. “Thank you.” Robert walked toward the street. “He’s been wonderful. Everyone has been.” Diane put her hand on Ash’s shoulder. “How are you holding up?”

  Ash shook her head. She didn’t want Diane worried about her well-being at a time like this. “I’m going to make it. I want you to promise me you’ll call me if you need anything. Otherwise, I’m just going to randomly show up at your house, and that could be awkward.”

  Diane laughed as tears ran down her face. Pulling Ash to her, she hugged the woman tightly. “I promise, and you call me if you need anything.” Leaning back she looked closely at Ash. “You lost him too.”

  A sob escaped Ash, and she covered her mouth with her hand as the tears streamed down her cheeks unchecked. “I - thank you.” Ash felt she had been careless in her ignorance of the world around her. Life was fragile and hinged on the smallest details. This was something she had been aware of without truly knowing it. Only after the death of a dear friend, and the realization the world harbored immortals, did she appreciate how easily ideas, concepts, beliefs and people are broken.

  Walking back toward her Jeep, Ash looked up to see Robert and Emma talking. Alan was near the passenger side of the vehicle on his phone. She wished she had confided in Emma what she had shared with Robert, and that she and Emma had taken the time to discuss what the lie would be.

  “Ash, I was just telling Dr. Atman remains we think are human were found buried in a shallow, burnt out grave in Government Canyon. From the size, it looks like a female body.” Robert looked back and forth between the two women. “The head had been severed.”

  Ash feigned shock. “That’s awful. Any leads?” She couldn’t make eye contact with Emma, for fear her discomfort would become evident to the Lieutenant.

  “No, but I was thinking about what you said the other day at the motel. About all of this being tied to the Garrett case.” His expression was serious as he looked at Ash. “I’m still waiting on that report.”

  Ash dared to look at Emma, and was surprised at how calm she looked. Ash’s heart was about to pop out of her chest, and the blonde woman managed to look pensive. “About that.” Ash swallowed the large lump in her throat. “The more I thought about it, the more tenuous the connections seem.”

  She looked at Emma. “I spoke to Dr. Atman about my suspicions, and given the absence of fact and evidence, I don’t want to put anything in a formal report that could be used against the department in court.” She had managed a perfectly plausible lie in the moment, and couldn’t decide if she was impressed with herself, or hated herself for it.

  Robert looked at Emma, his brow furrowed. “Do you agree with this?”

  Emma turned her attention toward the lieutenant. “I do.”

  The man sighed heavily, and pursed his lips. “Then we’re back to square one. No leads on Garrett, and the motel killings are one dead end after another.” He looked up at the cloudy midday sky. “Christ, this is complete shit.”

  A twinge of guilt flared in Ash, but she quickly squelched it. There was no value in telling the lieutenant something she had no way of showing him, and more importantly, something he wouldn’t be allowed to act on. “I’m sorry.”

  The man looked at Ash for several seconds. “It’s okay. I want you to take the week, and then get a fresh start on Monday. I’m keeping you on the Garrett case, and adding the body in Government Canyon to your case load.” He started to walk away, and then stopped. “Are you going to the lunch at Paesano’s?”


  The last thing Ash could think about was eating, but she had committed to Diane to be there. “Yes.”

  Robert nodded. “Okay, see you there.” His head hanging, the man walked away.

  Emma’s cool hand slid into Ash’s. “Are you okay?”

  “That completely sucked, and I’m pissed.” She looked at Emma, who wore a worried expression on her face. “I hate lying, and especially to my boss, and about something so - well, kinda earth shattering.”

  Before Emma could respond, Alan walked up. “Who’s lying about what?” He looked back and forth between Emma and Ash.

  “It’s nothing Al. Are you coming to the luncheon?” The last thing Ash wanted was to get Alan involved in this charade. It was bad enough that he had unknowingly played into Ela’s hands by introducing her and Lara, but it was something altogether different and more sinister to force him to be a party to what amounted to a global deception.

  Hearing the tension in Ash’s voice, Alan managed a smile, and wrapped his arm around his friend’s stiff shoulders. “Pasta and grief. I wouldn’t miss it.”

  ***

  Emma had left the post-funeral luncheon, driven north of San Antonio, and now waited for the wrought iron gate to open before accelerating through it and up a winding road for four hundred yards to Coleen’s house. Emma parked her Nissan Leaf in front of a large stone house surrounded by elaborate xeriscaping consisting of impeccably manicured cactus and hedges lining a gravel walkway leading to a large wooden door.

  The door opened as Emma approached, and a barefoot woman dressed in a pair of light tan slacks, and a cream colored three quarter length sleeve blouse stood to greet her. Her pale skin contrasted with her black eyes, and long black hair. “I’ll never understand your affinity for that car, Em.”

  Emma smiled at the beautiful woman. “Good evening, Rayven.” She leaned in and quickly kissed the woman on the cheek. “I’ll never understand how you plan to live an eternity on a dead planet.”

  Rayven shut the door behind Emma. “We have cactus and rocks out front. For God’s sake, isn’t that enough of a sacrifice?”

  Rayven had been Coleen’s companion for nearly thirty years. Emma knew she could be vicious and fiercely protective of Coleen, but over the years she had grown to like Rayven. “Is Coleen in?”

  Rayven nodded. “She’s in the garden.” Walking the opposite direction, Rayven smiled over her shoulder. “You know the way.”

  Emma walked through several ornately decorated halls, lined with beautiful pieces of art and tapestries. Coleen had spent centuries collecting from all around the world, and Emma couldn’t help but be envious at the size and beauty of the collection. She walked through an archway into a lush garden, complete with fountains.

  Coleen was reclined on a wicker framed daybed with a rounded canopy shading her. A copy of Mrs. Dalloway lay across her lap. She got up, and smiled at Emma, and then looked anxiously at the large fountain to her left. “I know what you’re going to say, and I swear the water is recycled and not sourced from the aquifer.” The woman stood.

  Emma smirked. “It negates the work you had done out front if you run this twenty-four seven.” She hugged Coleen, not realizing how much she had missed her friend over the past week. “Particularly in the summer, when, recycled or not, you can lose over thirty percent of the water to evaporation.”

  “I’ll have Rayven turn it off when we go to sleep.” Coleen winked, and sitting, gestured for Emma to sit next to her on the daybed. “Besides the EPA inspection, what brings you here?”

  Emma took a deep breath as she sat perched on the edge of the bed. She couldn’t remember, outside of her interactions with Ash, the last time she had been nervous. If it had been possible, her palms would be sweating. “I’ve done something, and I want you to be aware.”

  Coleen frowned. “You’re so dire, Em. I would ask who’s dead, but I know better.”

  Emma winced. “I’ve told Ash about us.”

  Coleen’s face went stoic, her eyes flashing a brilliant blue. “Why would you do that?”

  Emma braced herself. She had seen that look on Coleen’s face before, and whatever calm her tone may indicate, she knew her friend was raging inside. “Police were killed - her partner was killed by a lycan in partnership with Ela. She was attacked by a lycan.”

  Emma stood and began pacing. “The situation became too complicated for lies.” She faced Coleen, a pleading look on her face. “I could only manage the truth.”

  Coleen’s teeth had extended beyond her upper lips and her eyes glowed blue. “It’s not entirely your truth to share, now is it?” The woman’s voice was lower, verging on a growl. “First Rachel takes a pet, and now -” Coleen glared at Emma. “Don’t tell me you’re in love with the human.”

  Emma stood perfectly still. She loathed that the first time she would utter the words, effectively giving her feelings life, wasn’t to Ash, but to Coleen. “I do love her.”

  Coleen laughed, and flung herself down on the daybed. “Christ on a cross, you people slay me. You have an eternity of experiences, wants, desires - fucking - and yet insist on tethering it all to the fragility of humanity.” Coleen practically spat the words at Emma.

  “I don’t need you to understand.” She clenched her fists, and worked at pulling herself back from the rage she felt building within her. “Ash won’t reveal us. I have no worries about that.”

  “You’re right, because you’re going to turn her.” Coleen said it so casually, Emma thought she had misheard.

  “What?” Emma whispered.

  Coleen leaned back on the daybed, and picked up the book she had discarded moments before. “Turn her or kill her. Your choice.”

  Emma felt a surge of anger push through her. Instead of stifling it, she let it course through her veins. Her teeth fully extended as she felt her senses quicken. “How dare you -”

  In a single motion, Coleen was off the bed and standing toe to toe with Emma. “How dare you!” The two women stood, teeth bared, practically hissing at each other. “You risk everything, and none of it is yours alone.”

  “I hope that I am always willing to risk, and to grow, and change! Otherwise, what’s the point of this life, Coleen?” Emma growled at the woman.

  Tilting her head to the side, Coleen considered Emma. “Have your fun, then. Have your adventures, but I’ll not have my fate left in the hands of a human.” She stepped back from Emma. “Turn her, or I’ll kill her.”

  Independent of her will, Emma’s legs sprung her forward, and she was instantly on top of Coleen, her hands wrapped around the woman’s throat. “You won’t touch her!”

  Coleen’s fist moved so quickly, Emma didn’t have a chance of avoiding it as it struck the left side of her head. Rolling off of Coleen, she heard a series of loud cracks. Looking down, she realized Coleen had snapped both her femurs, leaving the bone painlessly protruding through the skin.

  Brushing her hair from her forehead, Coleen cleared her throat as she stood over Emma. “That hurt me more than it hurt you.” She grinned, her incisors showing. “Now, the multiple choice test is as follows. A, you’ll turn Ash. B, I’ll rip her throat out. C - There is no C.”

  “Ela took a shifter.” Emma sat up, and was forcing her legs back into position, so the bones could begin to mend.

  Coleen crouched down in front of her. “How do you know this?”

  Using the palm of her right hand, she pushed the dislodged bone back into the skin. “I met her. Lara is the name she’s going by. With Ela dead, I have no doubt she poses more of a risk to you than Ash ever could. She knows every nuance and detail of what makes us tick, and what ends us.” Within seconds, Emma’s muscle, tendons and pale skin was closing in around the now solid bone.

  Coleen extended her hand to Emma. After a slight pause, she accepted her friend’s assistance as she was pulled to her feet. “Fascinating. I haven’t seen or even heard of a shifter in decades.”

  “It’s a perversion, Coleen. The relations betwe
en vampire and shifter.” Emma massaged her right thigh.

  Coleen nodded. “Agreed. It makes a slave of both, but leaves the vampire with the illusion of being master.” The woman walked back to the daybed and sat down. “Slight change of plans. Dispatch Lara, and then address the Ash situation. In the meantime, I would encourage you to begin severing your ties with her.” She looked at Emma. “That way if she ends up dead, it won’t be as painful.”

  Emma sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know at what point you decided you held this authority over me.” Her tone was serious as sadness filled her eyes. “I will always be grateful for what you have done for me. Especially those first few years, but I don’t owe you the benefit of my good judgment and conscience indefinitely.”

  Coleen’s harsh expression softened, and she patted the cushion next to her. “Please sit with me.” Emma hesitated for a moment, and then sat down, the two women’s thighs touching. “I only think of what’s best for you.”

  Emma looked at her friend incredulously. Coleen narrowed her eyes. “I grant you - what’s best for me too, but nothing good can come of Ash knowing. Of you loving her only to watch her age, suffer with sickness and die.” Coleen took Emma’s hand in hers. “So if you believe she will keep our secret, I was wrong not to trust your judgment, but Em - I can’t stomach your suffering if you don’t turn her, and then lose her.”

  In that moment, in measurable increments, Emma felt the hope she had clung to slip away. She knew what Coleen said was true. She had pushed the reality of her and Ash’s situation to the back of her mind, and convinced herself the few years she and Ash would have together would be enough. She had imagined the hole her death would leave would be insignificant in comparison to the love.

  A single blood tinged tear rolled down Emma’s cheek. Coleen wiped at it with the tip of her finger. “Turn her, Em.”

  Shaking her head, Emma got up and stood with her back to Coleen. “I couldn’t. She doesn’t deserve this.”

  “Is this so bad?” Coleen asked.