Semblance

by Logan Patricks

  He took a deep breath.

  “I want to have a life again,” he said, no longer cool and collected. He looked vulnerable now—desperate almost. “I want to start all over again, away from the Society, away from the politics and the lies, and most of all away from all the ghosts that constantly have a grip around my throat. Each and every day, I feel like I’m suffocating and the only way to escape is to disappear and never be found again.”

  “I’ll disappear with you,” I blurted aloud. Lord, what a stupid thing to say. I let my emotions take hold of me in the heat of the moment. Seeing Shadow so vulnerable made me want him even more, to take him in my arms and be the one to comfort him and stand by his side while he faced the demons that controlled him. Curse these nurturing instincts of mine. It only made me look desperate for his attention and love.

  Just as I was about to crawl under the table and hide from embarrassment, I saw Shadow smile at me—a genuine lovely smile that penetrated through my clothing and bare skin and buried itself deep within my heart.

  “I’d love that Aria,” he said.

  Holy shit! Did Shadow just say he would love to start a new life with me?

  “Say that again,” I demanded.

  “I’d love to have you by my side,” Shadow said. “But are you willing to wait for me while I hunt down my parent’s killer?”

  “I’ll wait until the end of the world.” I reached out and placed my hand over his. Shadow smiled at the gesture, opening his hand and taking mine within it. It was the perfect moment that was accentuated by the sounds of celebration down in the streets.

  After settling the bill for dinner, Shadow and I took to the streets, hand-in-hand.

  The music was blaring and the locals were out on the streets dancing as if no one was watching.

  “Let’s stay for a while,” I suggested, as I moved my body to the heavy beat. “I don’t remember the last time I heard the Backstreet Boys.”

  “Yeah, they’re a bit dated on their music here,” Shadow said. I grabbed his hand and dragged him right into the center of the crowd.

  “I have to warn you, I’m not much of a dancer,” he pointed out.

  “Let me lead then and I’m sure your body will figure out how to do the rest,” I said seductively. With the knowledge that he felt the same way I did, it was game on.

  I was going to drive this boy wild.

  The first obstacle I faced was doing a sexy dance to the tune of Backstreet’s Back and its cheesy beat and even worse lyrics. But damned if I was going to let those obsolete boy boppers ruin this moment.

  With my back turned to Shadow, I began moving sensually, my body flowing like a gentle wave. I noticed he was keeping his distance from me, clearly uncomfortable with the entire concept of dancing.

  I tilted my head back and flashed him a ‘I want to fuck you’ smile and said to him, “Don’t be shy. You can touch me.”

  I reached back, found his hands and positioned them around my waist. Feeling his rock hard body against mine was more than enough to make me wet.

  “I’ve wanted to hold you for quite some time now,” he replied. “I never wanted to be too presumptuous though.”

  “You can do whatever you want to me.”

  I began stroking his crotch with my ass. I closed my eyes and let a soft moan escape my lips as we continued our erotic embrace throughout the song. His fingers splayed across my stomach, pulling me harder against him.

  Feeling the hardness of his manhood against my body was driving me wild. I wanted to tear off his clothes and do him right then and there in the middle of the street—not giving a fuck if every Cambodian in the universe saw us getting it on.

  I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body against his, my breasts against his chest. Shadow’s jaw clenched and his eyes filled with lust as his breaths grew heavy. I reached down with one hand and brushed his cock lightly.

  “Aria…” he moaned.

  I didn’t let him speak. Instead my mouth found his—finally, we kissed. And it was better than I had envisioned. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth—mine doing the same. He cupped my upper lip with his, just before his tongue found mine again. We embraced each other in the center of the city streets, the locals dancing all around us while we were serenaded with the crooning Backstreet Boys.

  It wasn’t until the song ended and a new one began that we released ourselves from each other.

  “Is that what I think it is?” Shadow asked as he tilted his head towards the direction of the speakers. The notes reverberated through the streets loud and clear. There was no mistaking what this song was.

  “It’s the fucking Macarena!” I shouted with excitement.

  “You have got to be kidding me,” Shadow said. “This song is as pleasant as a rusty nail wedged in my ear.”

  “Yeah, this song sucked major balls at the height of its popularity, but listening to it years later—it’s brilliant.”

  “No, it still sucks major balls.”

  “I beg to differ. Just look at the crowd,” I said.

  Everyone on the street had formed into a perfect grid, all performing the ridiculous choreography of the goofy South American song. There was something beautiful about the fact that the locals here were oblivious to how terrible the Macarena truly was. They didn’t hear the repetitive beat—reminding me of a rattling air duct—or the man’s annoying monolithic droning. Instead, they heard music, beautiful fun music that hadn’t been spoiled by American cynicism.

  It was a magical thing.

  “Let’s dance,” I said, falling in line with the rest of the locals as I placed my hands behind my head and shook my hips.

  “You’re kidding, right?” Shadow asked. “This is the most ridiculous song ever.”

  “Look at the irony of it. We can enjoy one of the shittiest songs in one of the most beautiful countries in the world.”

  “HAWAAHHH!” everyone turned in unison as we rotated counter clockwise and began the motions of the song again.

  “You look absolutely ridiculous,” Shadow smiled.

  I gestured towards everyone else who had a wide smile on their faces as they moved to the rhythm of the beat. “I see only one odd man out. If we took a video from high above, I’m pretty sure we won’t be the ones looking out of place.”

  Shadow turned his head, glancing at everyone around him, before finally giving off a sigh.

  “I look like a dick for not participating, don’t I?”

  “The biggest dick,” I replied.

  Shadow shrugged his shoulders, fell in line with me and succumbed to the Macarena as well. This was great, I managed to get the leader of one of the most powerful and clandestine organizations in the world to do the Macarena.

  Watching Shadow crack a wide smile as he performed the self-depreciating dance routine was fantastic, and what was even more amazing was the fact that he seemed like he was having a lot of fun doing it. It was good to know that underneath the layers of darkness, he was still able to forget about the past and have a little fun once in a while.

  Any man that could abandon his machismo and laugh at himself the odd time was definitely one I could be happy with.

  As the song finally drew to a close, the streets erupted into cheers and clapping, as if we had finished a live theatre performance. I was caught up in this silly but magical moment, high-fiving the locals and giving others hot, sweaty hugs. When I turned to look at Shadow, his eyes were fixed on me, like I was the only thing that mattered in this universe.

  I knew he was going to try and seduce me tonight, and I was going to let him. I couldn’t think of anything more I wanted than to feel every inch of him inside of me.

  Chapter Eighteen

  As the door to his hotel room closed behind us, Shadow held me within his strong arms composed of thick-chorded muscle. I brushed up against his tight chest and my fingers found their way to the buttons of his shirt.

  I undid each one with my eyes closed, my lips
on his. They were gentle butterfly kisses at first that soon became eager. When the last of the buttons were undone, I practically tore off his shirt and my lips found their way onto his smooth body.

  I ached for the two of us to be naked, so I could press my bare skin up against his.

  My fingers explored every ridge of his chest and down to his perfectly chiseled six-pack abs. He was the epitome of the perfect physical man.

  Our lips and tongues danced while our hands explored each other. His fingers moved deftly behind my back and soon, I found my dress slipping from around my breasts and down to the floor, leaving me with only my black laced bra and panties.

  “Christ,” Shadow whispered, “You look amazing.” His words hit hard, abolishing any possible insecure thought or any part of my mind or heart that wasn’t sure how this would end.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” I said playfully as I pushed him down onto the bed. I wanted control of this alpha male, this secret king of the world.

  “Aggressive aren’t you?” Shadow asked, lying on his back with pure heat in his eyes.

  “You’ll enjoy it,” I purred as I gently bit his lip. “Trust me.”

  I straightened myself and undid my bra, taking pleasure in the pure hungry look on his face as I stood bare in front of him. Shadow reached for me, his strong hands cupping my breasts, now full and heavy with need. Shivers ran through my body at his touch and all I wanted was more.

  He pinched my nipple lightly and I let out a soft moan as he tugged on it gently, before reaching up and taking it fully in his mouth.

  I undid the top button of his shorts, and then unzipped him.

  His erection stood tall, pushing from beneath his boxer-briefs. I pulled down his underwear, revealing the full length of his magnificent cock. I gripped it gently in between my hands and felt its warmth as it pulsated beneath my touch.

  “You’re so hard,” I gasped. Shadow grinned and then in one swift motion, flipped me around. I found myself lying on my back with him now on top of me.

  “Sorry Virgin, but now I’m in control,” he growled.

  His hand found the sweet spot in between my legs, his fingers rubbing my mound underneath my panties. Why the fuck were those still on?

  Take the damn things off already, I wanted to scream.

  As if he were reading my thoughts, his fingers hooked around the side string. Shadow’s eyes focused in on me as he ripped them off my body in a seemingly effortless tug.

  Fuck!

  With my underwear a non-issue, Shadow spread my legs apart and slipped two fingers inside me and I immediately groaned and threw my head back. As he moved his fingers in and out of me while the pad of this thumb massaged my clit, I shivered and moaned. His touch alone was fucking incredible and I could only imagine what his cock would feel like inside me.

  “Fuck me,” I practically begged.

  “Not yet,” he smiled.

  His tongue worked wonders around my sex, like nothing I had ever felt before, every gentle stroke driving me absolutely wild. Then his fingers were back inside me and I was lost. I grabbed the back of his head as I shamelessly thrusted my hips to meet his hand.

  He made a sexy sound of approval against my clit as I felt the softness of his tongue.

  “Shadow…” I gasped. He continued licking every inch of me. I shuddered every time his soft tongue brushed around my clit. As I began to climax, he lifted his head and looked at me.

  “Please,” I begged. “Fuck me.”

  “Say it again,” he groaned as he hovered over me. I pulled at his massive arms, willing him down on top of me. His solid hard body didn’t move. I arched my hips against his erection feeling the delicious friction and screamed with an insatiable need.

  “Please…please.”

  He pushed my legs apart and plunged into me.

  His thrusts were slow at first, filling every inch of me, sending my body into a state of bliss.

  Shadow leaned down, kissing me with a feverish desperation that I returned eagerly. He gave off a primal scent that was raw and animalistic. It was utterly intoxicating.

  He quickened his pace, each penetration fueling me with hot desire. It didn’t take long before I felt my entire body seized by an orgasm and I arched my back and allowed the shockwaves of pleasure overtake my body

  “Get on top,” he instructed.

  I unleashed a deep-throaty moan as I glided down the full length of him and began sliding up and down his hardness.

  Shadow’s grip on my hips and ass tightened while he told me to ride him harder and faster.

  I did.

  I felt myself beginning to climax again.

  I moaned, shouting out some combination of Shadow’s name and something dirty–what exactly I couldn’t remember. I was enjoying my orgasm too much to recall anything else but his body, and the electrifying sensation I was feeling.

  I suddenly felt Shadow tense up beneath me and he let out a groan of his own, filling me as he erupted.

  When he was finished, I collapsed on top of him, and brushed his face with gentle kisses, before planting a long one firmly on his mouth.

  He smiled at me and ran his strong hands through my hair, “Well if you were a virgin before, you definitely aren’t one now.”

  I smacked him lightly on the shoulder. “Funny.”

  “I feel comfortable around you,” he said, looking at me with reverence. “It’s been so long since I felt some type of peace. It almost makes me want to forget about –”

  “Forget about what?” I asked.

  Shadow shook his head.

  “Nothing, forget I said anything,” he sighed.

  “Come on you jerk, finish your sentences. Forget about what?” As always, he had piqued my interest, I wanted to know everything about him.

  “Forgetting about the vow I made to myself—that I would sacrifice everything and anything to find my parents’ killer and ruin that man’s life.”

  “There’s something about finding justice that is meaningful and noble,” I said. “It can be chivalrous even. But on the flip side, the pursuit of revenge is an obsession that isn’t healthy. It can turn even the purest of hearts into hard, black shit.”

  The look on Shadow’s face was an inquisitive one. “I think I know what cliché you’re about to lead into,” he sighed.

  “Can’t you find your parents’ killer without the entire ‘ruining their life’ part of it?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “An eye for an eye,” Shadow said. “And fuck the entire saying of how it makes the world go blind. It’ll result in a bunch of eye patches, which I’m okay with.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said sincerely, “I don’t mean to lecture you or anything. I just want you to find happiness…to be at peace.”

  “I’ve found some of it with you,” Shadow said. “I promise, when this is over, I will leave it all behind us. Then it’ll be just you and me, exploring the world and making love in those places. How does that sound?”

  His words moved me like a beautiful song.

  “Wonderful,” I said as I laid my head down on his chest and listened to his strong heartbeat. “Do whatever makes you happy as long as in the end we wind up fucking on the beach somewhere. In the meantime, I’ll wait for you.”

  “Until the end of the world?” Shadow asked.

  “Until the end of the world,” I agreed.

  We fell asleep in each other’s arms and that night, I dreamt of long lost kingdoms, breathtaking ancient ruins, and of a man who climbed up and out of the earth, in search of what he desired most.

  When I awoke, Shadow was gone, but there was a note left behind where his warm body had laid beside me.

  It read:

  Will you go steady with me?

  Shadow

  For a man tortured by invisible demons, it was good to know that he was still a goofball.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I must have had a smile on my face the entire flight back. Abraham couldn’t help noticing
and commenting on how rejuvenated I looked.

  I told him about our dates, the wonderful food, and the Cambodian New Year street party, though I decided to leave out the details about Shadow doing the Macarena. I feared that would tarnish his image as a mysterious, brooding billionaire.

  The pleasant conversations with Abraham about my trip and a few long naps made the sixteen hour flight back home feel much shorter.

  Soon, Abraham was driving me back to my condo.

  “So I take it I’ll be seeing a lot more of you and Shadow together?” Abraham asked as he dropped me at the front of my condo.

  The smile on my face said it all. “Maybe,” I teased.

  “That’s excellent news,” Abraham said. “I had a feeling you and Shadow would fit well together.”

  We did fit well together, both emotionally and physically. The chemistry we had was enough to turn lead into gold.

  “You know, you kind of remind me of someone I once knew,” he said.

  “Oh yeah? Was she smart and pretty?”

  “She was the prettiest girl in the world,” Abraham said. “No offense Ms. Valencia.”

  I knew in his heart who he was thinking of—imagining what could have been.

  “None taken,” I replied, feeling sad for the man. Over the past couple of weeks, I’d grown extremely fond of Abraham and his fatherly gestures. Though he could never fill the void left by the death of my own father, I could still look at him with the same affection.

  “Well, you must be tired and it’s best to leave you on your way now.”

  I nodded. “Thanks for the ride. Until next time?”

  “Of course.”

  After returning from Cambodia and experiencing the most wonderful weekend of my life, the transition back to campus life was painful.

  The two-hour long lecture on Anton Dvorak and the impact of his music on the twentieth century was as stimulating as a bowel movement and left me feeling drained.