Twisted Hearts: The Complete Duet

by Max Henry

  I cross the floor on instinct, aware that Jodie watches me while I make my daughter’s day, handing her the two-dollar toy.

  “I’m not going to be pushy, Belle.” She regards me with soft eyes as I settle on the floor. “But if you want help figuring things out …”

  “I know. I’ll be better about asking.”

  “You will ask.” Jodie scoots to the front of her seat, hands clasped before her and elbows on knees. “You’re good for Zeus, and a lot of the time I wish that things were a little different and you’d had a chance to start this life with him when he was a bit younger.” She eyes the floor, clearly lost in her head. “Maybe then things would be easier.”

  “Maybe.” I reach through the playpen bars with my fingers and tickle the sole of Sera’s foot.

  “You want us to stick around so I can have a chat with him when he gets back?”

  “No.” I reach up and unlatch the playpen gate so I can swing it open. “I’ll talk to him about it.”

  Call me fickle, but the hairs on the back of my neck get a little prickly when I think about Zeus’s ex-wife being the one to talk sense into him.

  I’m his current partner. Being the woman who can make him see reason is my job.

  “Okay.” Jodie rises to her feet and then steps over Sera to reach Bradley. She scoops her son into her arms, watching as my daughter does her lop-sided half-crawl to reach me. “I’ll shoot the gap if you promise you’re okay.”

  I force a smile. “I am. Just one of those days.”

  She matches my soft grin with one of her own. “We all have them.”

  Yeah. Maybe.

  Still pretty sure we aren’t meant to have them every day.

  SIX

  Zeus

  I waste the better part of the morning riding between scrap yards to chase down the right part for Belle’s car. The first guy left me hopeful when he claimed he knew a guy who’d have it. I was frustrated by the time he sent me packing to a third yard, and when that guy decided I’d be best riding back in the direction I’d come from and wasting even more gas, I was about fit to pick up the nearest thing and smash something with it.

  Half the reason why I currently chew three pieces of gum with such force my jaw aches.

  I barely made an even hundred on the pieces I figured I could resource for the Barracuda at a later date. Fucking rip-off merchants will sell them for twice the value, but what the fuck else can I say when I need the folding to dig us out of our current predicament.

  I just won’t tell Belle that I had to slap the remaining two-thirds of what the new alternator cost me on our already sick and abused credit card.

  I’m just thankful the damn thing didn’t decline on me.

  “How did you go?” Belle hesitates halfway between the kitchen and living area, a small bowl of something in hand while she watches me down the length of our hallway.

  I shut the garage door behind me and make my way toward my girls. “Yeah, I found one.”

  “Good.” She’s far from okay now, but at least she’s talking without raising her voice.

  Small wins. “What have you two been up to?” I pause and lean down to tap Sera on the nose.

  She grins up at me from her quilted mat, two Duplo blocks fisted in her little hands.

  “Not a lot.” Belle tucks a leg underneath her on the sofa, bowl of noodles, yet again, cradled in her hands. “I tried moving us outdoors, but your daughter isn’t having a bar of it.” She watches me over the rim, gently blowing on the contents.

  I contemplate telling her that I phoned Jodie this morning but opt against it. I don’t want to ruin whatever upswing we’re on here.

  “You want coffee?”

  “If you’re making.”

  I remove myself from the situation altogether and semi-hide in the kitchen with my back to Belle while I fix our brews. I figure I can have a hit of caffeine now to stave off the hunger and eat what she made for my lunch as dinner if need be. If Belle’s on her second day straight of noodles, then chances are we don’t have much.

  I don’t dare open the freezer to check for myself. Seeing what we lack will only make me feel worse—if that’s possible.

  “You think you can fix it in an afternoon?” Belle calls from the sofa.

  “I hope so.” Don’t have many options if I can’t. One day off will be enough of a hit to the pay-packet; I can’t do two.

  “I, um, sent some messages this morning after you left.”

  “Yeah?” I focus on the spoon circling the mug.

  “Reached out to a few people who’d asked for work but didn’t want to wait until I had time free.”

  I turn and dump the teaspoon in the sink, frowning at her. “What are you thinking?”

  She shoves a massive forkful of noodles in her mouth as though trying to stall. Judging by the way she eyes me over the bowl, I’d say I’m right.

  I wait until she can continue, not letting her duck out of the issue that easy.

  “Jodie offered to watch Sera, so I figured I could ask Wade for the extra hours in the shop.”

  “When did she do that?” The coffees threaten to slosh over the side of the mugs, forcing me to slow my roll.

  “This morning.”

  I place Belle’s before her and take mine to sit on the floor beside Sera. I miss out on her Monday to Friday, so I may as well make the most of being home today and get daylight hours with my girl.

  “Jodie said you rang her,” Belle explains softly, apparently testing my reaction.

  I focus on Sera’s blocks, nudging one with my fingertip to help her line them up. “I did.”

  “She came over.”

  Fuck’s sake. I should have known she wouldn’t let it lie. “What else did she say?”

  “Just that she can take Sera so I can get some hours at the shop to cover the cost of the part.”

  I lift my chin and study Belle. She watches me with cool indifference, yet the way she fidgets with her noodles without taking a bite tells me she’s stalling.

  There’s more she’s not disclosing.

  “What else did you two talk about? Why would she think you need to go back to work?”

  “It’s an unexpected cost, Zeus. It’s normal for people not to have budgeted for it.” She knows what I allude to.

  “You didn’t tell her why, then?”

  Belle rolls her eyes away—a classic sign of lying. “Of course not.”

  She so did.

  Belle’s phone pings from the end of the sofa beside her; she all but spills the last of her meagre lunch trying to retrieve it. I allow her the distraction and turn back to Sera, showing her how the pieces click together and pull apart again.

  “Thank Christ for that.” Belle’s thumb flies over the screen, bowl balanced on her other palm.

  “Are you going to share?” If she doesn’t eat those noodles soon, I might flog them from her. Coffee doesn’t seem so appealing when your stomach acid knocks on the last lining of your gut.

  “I have a chair available the next three evenings, so all I need to do …” she says, trailing off as her focus narrows on the phone. “Is jack this guy up and I’m good.”

  “You think you’d get someone at such short notice?” Most people need the time off work and those who don’t are usually the arseholes who cancel on her at the eleventh hour.

  She sets the device aside, eyes flicking to it every few seconds while she speaks. “I hope so. The guy said he was still keen to do it.”

  “Huh.” Shove that jealousy back down, Zeus. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with her getting handsy on young guys for a living. Not that anyone said the client is young but thinking of some creepy old man ogling her is worse.

  Fuck—guess I could be classed as a creepy old man.

  “I better go get started.” Sera watches with wide eyes as I stand, Belle doing much the same, yet her gaze seems filled with regret.

  A fucking feeling I know all too well when it comes to her.

  “Wha
t comes next, Z?” she asks quietly.

  I tighten the grip on my coffee mug and swallow back the urge to fire up. “After what?”

  “After you’ve fixed it.” She gestures to the garage. “How do we dig ourselves out of this?”

  I wish I knew. Then maybe I’d be able to feel a little better about getting home at the end of the day exhausted and sore. Perhaps then my pain might be worth it.

  “Take it as it comes, dove.” I reach out and ruffle her ponytail on my way past to ditch the undrunk coffee down the drain. “Don’t get in your head, thinking too much about the future.”

  One day at a time. It’s the best either of us can do. I had plenty of time to think about what she raised while I was chasing a fistful of metal around town, and the conclusion was as hollow as it was frustrating.

  Even if I did entertain her idea of letting John know we’re in the shit … then what? He’d loan her whatever he had spare, or maybe he’d fill our cupboards. But that wouldn’t change the fact I don’t earn enough to support the both of us and a child, and that Belle is restricted by having Sera at home when we can’t foot the enormous childcare centre bill.

  Admitting defeat wouldn’t change a fucking thing. The only people capable of scratching back to the surface with broken nails and dirt in our teeth is us.

  Belle and me.

  Nothing good will come from losing face to the people who doubted us from the start.

  So why feed their ego if it won’t help ours?

  SEVEN

  Belle

  Confirmation chimes on my phone, the words I’d hoped to see lit up on my screen.

  I can be there at 4.

  Hands clasped before me, I tip my head to the ceiling and utter a quiet thanks to whoever the hell is watching over me. Tears line my lower-lids, and I can’t tell if they’re from relief or joy. Perhaps both?

  Now I need to find out if Jodie is keen for me to take her up on the offer this soon.

  I tiptoe down the hallway past where Sera naps on our bed, tucked away safe in the centre with a wall of pillows and rolled blankets to make sure she doesn’t roll off in her sleep. Zeus has pushed the Honda out to the driveway, into the bitter southerly blasting between the trees, to keep things a little quieter for her.

  When he does small things like that without me needing to ask? Yeah, those are the moments I remember why I love his huge heart.

  Screw flowers and diamonds. Just give me a man who’ll fold the washing of his own accord, and I’ll be all over that.

  “Babe?”

  Zeus’s legs protrude from beneath the car, the front held off the gravel on axle stands. Tools scatter across the ground, what I assume is the replacement alternator off to the side.

  “Z.”

  He stops what he’s doing yet stays in place. “Yeah?”

  “I got the client.”

  “Good work.” His tone shows me he’s preoccupied with whatever he still has his hands tangled up in.

  “I’m going to call Jodie and see if she can take Sera.”

  “When is it?” The clang of metal on metal follows his question.

  “This afternoon.”

  “Sera’s still sleeping, isn’t she?” I go to answer when he continues. “Can you get the WD-40 from the shelf? This last bolt is a fucker.”

  I retrieve the can of lubricant and then squat down beside the car to reach underneath. He meets me halfway and takes the aerosol from my hold.

  “If she wakes up, though, you won’t know if you’re under here.”

  He shifts a little to avoid the liquid dripping in his face and squirts the offending fastener. “After I get this out, it’s an easy take it off and bolt the other on job.”

  I’ve heard that before.

  “I’ll be fine, dove. When do you need to leave to set up?”

  I glance at my smartwatch for the time. “In about fifteen if I’m walking there.”

  “Heaps of time.” He sets the socket back on the bolt and gives it a firm shove.

  I shamelessly ogle the muscles in his arms flexing as he works.

  “Maybe you can come pick me up with Sera when I’m done?”

  He gives the handle of the socket a last twist and then drops the tool to his chest to remove the old alternator. “Don’t count your chickens yet.” Zeus shuffles on his back, twisting side to side at the waist to wriggle himself out into the open. I shift back to give him space and frown at the blackened, sticky part he holds up to me. “Tell me what’s wrong here.”

  “It’s broken?” I say.

  He sighs, twisting his lips. “What else looks out of place?”

  I point to the tar-like coating. “What is that?”

  “Oil.” He throws the alternator aside. It hits the driveway with a puff of dust from beneath the stones. “Which means we have another issue that’ll need sorting soon.”

  “I take it there shouldn’t be oil on the outside of it.”

  “Not like that.” He lifts the new second-hand part, turning it between his large hands. “A few spots here and there don’t hurt, but the whole side of the block looks like that.”

  “Layman’s terms, Zeus. What does it mean?”

  He drops to the ground, pushing hair out of his face with the back of one hand before scooting under the car. “It means until I figure out where it’s leaking, you need to check the oil every time you use the car.”

  “If I forget?” Which is likely to happen with a baby taking up most of my focus.

  “Then you might find yourself searching for a whole new engine.”

  “That good, huh?”

  “That good.” He wrestles the replacement part into place, feeling around beside him for the discarded bolts. “Go get ready, dove. I’ll get this in and then wait until Sera’s up to try it out.”

  “Okay.” The three little words that come less often these days sit on the tip of my tongue, but after the way we started the day, they feel forced.

  I leave him to the job at hand and take myself back indoors to tidy up. Zeus might not mind me slopping around in leggings and T-shirts, with my bed hair restrained in a rough ponytail, but if I want to appear professional at work, it’ll take at least fifteen to clean this mess up.

  An oil leak.

  I set a clean black long-line tank and my torn black skinny jeans gently on the bed beside Sera. I might not know a lot about cars, but I know that without oil a vehicle doesn’t run for long. I just naively thought it was another fix a small part job, not that it would ruin the entire engine. Not to mention, if the damn thing is likely to chew through oil before we fix it, then that’s another expense to replace what it’s losing.

  One step forward, two steps back. That’s how it feels some days.

  Changed and with my leather jacket and biker boots completing the ensemble, I do a quick smoky-eye and tweak my hair until the messy pony looks purposeful. Sera still sleeps soundly, one hand over her little head, the other twitching each time her fingertips brush her rounded belly.

  I want to kiss her, to dote on her before I leave, but I’m not foolish enough to risk waking her early. So, instead, I satisfy myself with a moment paused in the bedroom doorway to marvel at what we created.

  She has no idea the pains her parents go through on the daily, and I’m thankful for it. She’s too young to be jaded by our journey; her’s is yet to begin.

  By the time Sera is old enough to model after us, I want Zeus and me to have a solid foundation for her to learn from.

  I want my baby to know that dreams do come true, even if they take longer than first anticipated.

  Zeus stands before the engine bay when I head out to say goodbye, a rag in his hands as he stares daggers at the car. I approach behind him, setting my hand in the middle of his broad back, and stare at it with him. “We’ll get it sorted.”

  “Yeah. I hope.”

  At least one of us needs to stay optimistic, even if the words feel like a lie coming from my lips.

  “I’m heading o
ff. Sera’s still out to it. There’s the food I made her this morning in a little screw-top container in the fridge. She can have that until I get back.”

  “You won’t be long, then?” Zeus turns his head to look down at me.

  I reach up and wipe a line of dust from his temple. “Should be two hours tops. It’s only a small piece.”

  He frowns. “Better than nothing, though, right?”

  “Exactly.”

  The three little words remain trapped on the tip of my tongue, even when he leans down to kiss me goodbye. I taste his adoration in the gentle sweep of his lips over mine, in the way he hesitates before pulling his hand back so that he doesn’t get me dirty.

  It pains him not to touch me.

  It hurts me more to be the source of his pain—all of it.

  “I’ll see you after dinner.”

  He nods, watching me as I leave.

  I don’t have the heart to turn and look back. Not when the picture is a sum of all my failures.

  EIGHT

  Zeus

  “You good to come in tomorrow?” My supervisor, Lenny, spares no pleasantries the second I answer his call.

  I wedge the phone between my shoulder and head and continue feeding Sera her mash of peas and carrot. “Yeah. At this stage.”

  “I need to know a definite yes or no now, Zeus. Will you be here?”

  Fucker. “Yeah. See you at five.”

  “Good. Enjoy your night.”

  He disconnects, and I relax my shoulder to let the phone fall somewhere in my lap. Sera swats at the plastic spoon I hold out for her, splattering the highchair table with the putrid-coloured mix.

  Fuck knows why we expect babies to eat this shit if it’s not even appetising to an adult.

  “You’re going to have to suck it up,” I tell her. “Mum’s not home for another hour or two.”

  She blows a wet bubble, then giggling at herself. It’s the best retort I’ve heard all day.

  “Here.” Against the fundamental human nature to survive, I turn the spoon and feed myself some of the shit. Keeping a straight face is harder than I assumed. “See? Daddy can do it. You can too.”