Lonely Souls

by Karice Bolton

  “You know something else, don’t you? Will you tell me?” I asked, cursing myself for not holding his hand when he offered it.

  “No, nothing concrete.”

  He started walking again.

  My phone started buzzing, and I grabbed it out of my pocket.

  “It’s Trevor,” I sighed. I stopped walking, and I pushed the speakerphone.

  “Hello,” I said, trying to sound upbeat.

  “Hey, Triss. How are you doing with everything? I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I had just landed in Arizona when I found out. I feel like a horrible person,” Trevor’s voice crackled over the speakerphone. He chose to go to ASU and was so sick of the Seattle weather, he already had an apartment rented the week school was out.

  “That’s okay. I totally understand. You had no way of knowing,” I replied. “I appreciate the call though.”

  I looked over at Logan and he seemed a bit distant. His eyes looked a little pained even. Nah, I’m sure I was exaggerating. He was probably thinking of our plan of attack.

  “Did Jenny and Angela make it?” Trevor’s voice was hopeful.

  “Uh, no they didn’t.” I started to finally get annoyed at the group of friends I suddenly didn’t seem to have any longer.

  Logan looked at me, puzzled.

  “Oh, wow. Now I feel even worse. I’m so sorry, hun,” Trevor said.

  Hun? He’s never called me hun before. It’s like I graduated from high school, and I’m suddenly put in this other weird category. I noticed Logan stiffen a little.

  “Don’t worry about it. People are moving and getting situated in their college towns. I can’t expect them to drop everything for this,” I mumbled.

  “Yah, you should!” Logan’s voice came out of the blue. Looking at him, his eyes were blazing mad. “What kind of friends do you have out here?”

  “Who is that?” Trevor asked.

  “Oh, he’s just a longtime friend from grade school, actually,” I spurted out, completely caught off guard and confused by the whole thing.

  “Apparently the only friend who gives a crap too,” Logan mumbled and continued walking down the hill.

  “Well, he’s right, Triss. I should have been there. We all should have been there.” His voice was soft.

  “I honestly don’t blame you. I still don’t believe we should have had the memorial. She’s barely been declared missing, and the whole thing seems forced. I still think she’s going to walk through the door.” My voice perked up a little too much on the last word as if I was lying to myself. I wondered why I was making excuses for my friends. High school, in the whole scheme of life, was such a short time, there’s really nothing to tie these people to me. Maybe the friendships were more because of convenience rather than anything else. Oh my word. I’m totally overthinking things. I’m truly screwed up.

  “Triss, are you still there?”

  “Sorry, yeah! I gotta go. My friend is a lot farther down the street than I am, and you know how I can’t walk and talk on the phone at the same time. I appreciate you calling though.”

  “Okay, Triss. I’ll call you soon, but please call me if you need anything.”

  “I will.” I pushed the phone back into my pocket and jogged after Logan.

  “Hey, wait up!” I yelled, thanking the skies above that I was running downhill and not uphill.

  Logan stopped and turned around. He seemed to have calmed down, his hair looked a little more disheveled, like he’d been running his fingers through it in frustration, but he looked less tense.

  “So none of your school or coven friends showed up to the memorial?” he asked in disbelief, reaching out to my hand, and this time, I let him grab it.

  Suddenly, I realized that the anger in him wasn’t misplaced, but rather what a true friend might feel. I couldn’t afford to lose a friend like Logan.

  I shook my head and found my eyes staring at anything but his. They were far too intense.

  “I thought maybe because we missed the memorial before the gathering at your house that I had missed seeing your friends. But I had no idea that they just didn’t show,” he said quietly, his face tense.

  “Well, a lot of them had plans to be moving or were on their way out of town or were already in another city,” I said, coming to their defense once more.

  “I know we haven’t seen each other for years, but I’d never do that to you. I don’t care where I’m at in the world or what I’m doing, I’ll always be here for you, Triss.”

  I started getting a little flustered. Are those words that a friend would speak, or was this more? I couldn’t take on anything right now. I couldn’t let him develop feelings, and I certainly shouldn’t either. I looked into his eyes, and I knew the answer. He wasn’t only coming from a place of friendship.

  “Thank you,” I mumbled, and dropped my gaze from his. “I would hope I’d do the same for you.”

  “I’m not getting my hopes up with your track record,” he laughed, not wanting to push it any farther than I was willing to go. “Once the letters stopped on your end, I knew I’d better make an appearance at least once more to get you to remember me.”

  I tried my hardest to push aside the feelings that comment brought crashing down on me, but he had a point. We were stuck together like glue, until he moved away and then the bond completely disappeared, mainly because of me.

  “I get it! I get it!” I told him. “But I would never forget you, Logan. I promise, if you write, I’ll write back.”

  “Hopefully, I’ll be in the same town, and we’ll alleviate the potential issue in the first place,” he said winking. He squeezed my hand lightly, and the Seattle sunshine bounced off his blue eyes, creating a stir that was undeniable.

  “So this is just a friend holding a friend’s hand?” he asked me, catching my reaction.

  “Uh-huh. Sounds good to me,” I laughed, as we made it to the park that was packed with people. I was kind of relieved knowing that we wouldn’t be attempting any crazy heavy talks with this many mothers chasing around their toddlers.

  But I was wrong.

  We found a bench underneath one of the flowering plum trees out far enough where the three-year-olds wouldn’t be screaming directly in front of us. I normally loved kids, but right now, I seemed to need peace. A lot of things were shifting in my world.

  “I know with everything going on, you probably haven’t thought about much,” he started. I could feel the warmth of his body begin to reach mine. I wanted to scoot in toward him more, but I scooted away instead.

  “Very true,” I confirmed.

  “Do you think you might stay in that house for a while?” he asked. I think I knew where he was going, and surprisingly, I was relieved.

  “It’s paid off. I know that much. My mom was so excited when she paid our home off last year that we went on a trip to celebrate.” I smiled thinking about us both working out like crazy, getting prepared for a tropical beach trip. My mom’s idea of working out more didn’t involve the gym, just more hiking trips. “It kind of makes sense to stay. I’m sure my aunt wouldn’t agree, but I am eighteen.”

  “Almost eighteen.” His smile did wonders for my spirit.

  Smiling back at him, I let myself begin to relax a little, only a little, but it felt nice.

  “Why do you ask?” I turned to him.

  “Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea if we still stuck to the original plan. You know, with me moving in. I could keep an eye on you.” He smiled.

  “On me?” I laughed. “More like the other way around. A guy like you needs to be watched.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” His eyes were wide with curiosity and dancing a little.

  “Oh, please! I bet you’ve left a million girls back at your house ready to chase you down out here,” I teased him, hoping he’d reject the idea.

  He never did.

  “Speaking of that,” he avoided my feeble attempt at probing, “was that your boyfriend?”

  “Who? Trevor? God no
!” I shuddered at the thought.

  “With the whole hun thing, I just thought—”

  I interrupted him.

  “That surprised me more than you, I’m sure. I think that’s the case of distance makes the heart grow fonder.” I smiled at him. “I know him too well to let that happen.”

  “So you don’t have a boyfriend then?” his voice was a little gruffer than I expected.

  “Nope. I’d say I never really have.” A flush began creeping up my face, and I had no idea where it was coming from. And why did I just tell him that?

  “Maybe those letters did the trick then?” he said, and I started laughing.

  “Doubtful. Now what plan are you busy devising?” I asked, leaning back against the bench, letting the warmth from Seattle’s June weather pierce through my clothes. Hearing the birds’ chirping and the kids’ playing began to make the wall I’d started building around my heart begin to crumble a little.

  “Well, until we find your mom, I think you’ve got a lot to take care of, and I’d be more than happy to help however I can.” His blue eyes darkened a bit, and I wasn’t sure what he was thinking beyond the obvious.

  I nodded and turned away, looking at anything but him once more. This was probably a really bad idea.

  He found my hand that was gripping the edge of the bench and traced it with his finger. I did everything I could to ignore what the sensation provided.

  “I’d still like to move in,” he said once more.

  I turned to face him, and his eyes were penetrating mine, creating a stir in my belly that I knew I’d have to squash if he moved into my home.

  “I think that sounds like a really good idea.” I surprised myself with the words that came tumbling out. “It would be a lot easier to try to track down everything with my mom, too, if you were under the same roof.”

  “Aah, total business I see.” His lips pursed a little.

  “Yes, total business,” I nodded. The wall around my heart was starting to go back up just how I liked it in recent times. “With that, do you know many protection chants?”

  He looked disappointed, but I made myself brush away the guilt. I had too much going on and couldn’t jeopardize my mom’s safe return over a fleeting feeling that probably wouldn’t last more than a summer. Once he started college, he’d be off doing his own thing.

  “Actually I do. I became intrigued with that side of things. Scared myself to death, really. Reading about black magic back in the day and its uses really brought things to my attention, so I brushed up on how to combat it.” He squinted at me, trying to gauge my reaction and then turned away.

  I knew what he was telling me, without so many words. I was in shock. It didn’t seem possible, but I knew what he was implying, and he’d have no reason to lie about it. In order to fully fight the evil, a witch must learn that side of darkness. Silence was the only thing that filled the air between us. Looking at Logan, I never would have guessed it. He was busy staring down the street. He didn’t want to make eye contact with me either. The only thing that radiated from him was warmth and kindness the moment I laid my eyes on him back at the house. It was almost impossible to wrap my head around what he said.

  “Does your mom know?” I finally blurted out.

  He turned back to face me.

  “What do you think?” he almost growled.

  “Guess not,” I nodded. “You don’t—”

  “Absolutely not. But I saw a side of things that I never wanted to believe existed.” He grabbed my hand, and this time, I let him.

  “I’m sorry,” I replied, attempting to take my hand back, but he wouldn’t let it go.

  “Everything you’ve read about is true, and it’s worse than what you’ve read. I guarantee it.” Making his point, he finally let my hand go.

  “Well, the unfortunate part is that I haven’t read that much,” I paused. “Is that why you believe my story?”

  “Yeah, that’s exactly why I believe it,” he nodded, his face solemn, “and why I want to help get your mom back.”

  “So you believe she’s alive too?”

  He nodded, his blue eyes searching mine. His lips parted, about to speak, but he stopped himself.

  I felt like my world was starting to fall into place. I might not be crazy. My mom might actually be missing, not swallowed by the sea like everyone would love for me to believe. There’s a chance of getting her back. Tears began surfacing again, and I looked down at the grass immediately. After finding out what I did about Logan, I didn’t want him to think the person sitting next to him was a weakling. These tears would be a dead giveaway.

  He pulled me to him unexpectedly and didn’t let go. His breath skimmed my neck, creating a shiver throughout my body. The sensation I had been trying to beat down started boiling up again. I hadn’t felt the beginnings of something like this for someone before, except for him years ago, but I knew I couldn’t start now. With every breath that he expelled onto my skin, I did my best to coat an extra layer of concrete around my heart to combat it. This was not a good idea and would never be. But why am I not moving away from him? The tears started to build up again, but I forced them back down. Crying would only confirm that I didn’t believe my mom was alive.

  I started hearing familiar laughter behind me and then heard a holler that confirmed my suspicions. The friends who I thought abandoned me had tracked me down and were here; maybe things were going to be okay after all.

  “Triss!” I heard hollering and feet running up behind me.

  I jumped up, releasing myself from Logan’s embrace and ran toward them.

  “We are so sorry!” Jenny said, hugging me. “We tried to get here, but all the flights were full, and we knew driving wouldn’t get us here in time so we just camped out at the airport until we could get on a flight.”

  “We feel horrible,” Angela continued, eyeing Logan quickly.

  “Please, guys, don’t. Everything has been a mess,” I replied.

  I felt Logan’s palm land on my shoulder. Turning, I met his eyes and smiled. He smiled back, finally approving of my friend selection.

  “So you are Jenny and Angela. I’m Logan,” he said, holding out his hand to shake theirs. The formality threw me and carved a little piece of the hardness away from my heart. It was quite endearing.

  In typical Jenny and Angela style, they giggled and each shook his hand.

  Jenny’s blonde hair was clipped back, and her pink checked shirt was all wrinkled from the journey. Angela looked immaculate, as always, in her jean shorts and a black T-shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. I caught myself quickly glancing at Logan to see what his reaction to them might be, and he didn’t seem to notice them in that way. I kicked myself internally for even caring.

  “Is this your boyfriend?” Angela asked, completely puzzled since she only just left town.

  As I started shaking my head, I noticed Logan was nodding.

  “Nice try,” I said, gently kicking at his shin, thankful he was trying to lift my spirits as best he could.

  “No, he’s just a drifter right now. Doesn’t really have a place to stay,” I said grinning, as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I think he enjoyed sharing a little joke between us. Hopefully, it made up for the Trevor incident, even though I wasn’t sure what that was.

  “Well, your aunt told us you were probably here at the park, and we were so afraid to let you know we were coming because every attempt we kept making to get to you seemed to fail. We thought until we actually got in front of you, we wouldn’t give you anything else to worry about.” Jenny was still stuck on explaining away their tardiness when it dawned on her, I got a new look.

  “I like your new bangs by the way, tres chic,” Jenny offered, smiling.

  “Looks pretty good, huh?” I glanced at Logan’s lips while he spoke, and his grin was borderline irresistible.

  “Thanks! It was the result of a mini meltdown,” I admitted, distracting myself. “I’m just so happy you guys
made it. It’s nice to see you.”

  “Trevor told us he called you,” Angela said, hesitantly.

  Logan’s grasp around my shoulder tightened a little.

  “He also mentioned that some guy was yelling at him,” Angela cracked a smile, noticing Logan’s grasp. “I’m guessing that was you.” She never let confrontation slip by her.

  “I’ll fully admit it,” Logan said, smiling in that sixth grade protective kind of way. “I just felt bad for my Triss.”

  I caught Jenny’s eyes, and I blushed instantly.

  “How long are you guys here for?” I asked, changing the subject as quickly as I could.

  “That’s the unfortunate part,” Jenny replied. “We both got new jobs, and since there are so many other college students eagerly waiting to take them away from us, we have to leave tomorrow.”

  “It sucks,” Angela piped up.

  “Wow, guys. I really appreciate that you’d do this for me. What a killer trip.” I was so happy that they came and felt so badly for doubting their level of friendship. Once again, grief was playing mind games with me.

  “Where are you guys going to school at?” Logan asked, genuinely interested.

  “University of Colorado,” they both replied in unison.

  “In Boulder,” I added.

  “That’s cool. I’ve never been to Colorado,” he said, his hand still resting on my shoulder. “I’m gonna head back up to the house. You guys don’t have much time together, so I’ll leave you be. It was nice to meet you both.”

  Logan spun around and started walking out of the park.

  “You don’t have to leave,” I shouted out, and Jenny and Angela giggled.

  He kept walking and waved his hand and hollered.

  “You’ll be plenty sick of me by the end of the summer, Triss!” And he kept walking.

  Turning back to Jenny and Angela, I shrugged my shoulders hoping the inquisition wouldn’t begin. Hopefully with everything I was going through, they would be kind.

  “Boy, that was nice of him,” Jenny began.

  Angela nodded in total agreement. It was killing them. I could tell. They wanted to know about him, but there really wasn’t anything to tell.