Whisper of Surrender

by Melanie Shawn

  Her eyes widened in surprise.

  “Come here.”

  * * *

  Jess’s legs were still shaking as she walked over to Ethan and placed a knee on each side. She put her hands on the back of the couch to steady herself and she noticed that they were trembling, too, either from the earth-shattering orgasm she’d just had or in anticipation of what was to come.

  Pun intended, she grinned to herself.

  As she was straddling him, he gripped the base of his dick with one hand and her hip with the other. He guided her hips to lift up and forward so that their bodies were lined up perfectly. His thick crown was pressing against the wet slit of her sex.

  “Are you ready?” The roughness in his voice caused her sex to clench against his engorged head.

  Just like it had in the hotel room when he’d asked if she was hungry, her body answered before she could. He was already sliding inside of her as she breathed, “Yes.”

  She opened her mouth in a silent cry as he slowly entered her at an excruciatingly measured pace until he filled her to the hilt, stretching her inner walls to their limit. Her eyes shut and she bit her lip as she held perfectly still, giving her body time to adjust to the intrusion.

  When her muscles relaxed, she attempted to rise up, but Ethan’s hand on her hip stopped her movement.

  Opening her eyes she saw the intensity in his gaze.

  “Don’t move.”

  She froze. “Am I hurting you?”

  “No.” He let out a strained laugh. “You feel too fucking good and I want this to last longer than two seconds.”

  She nodded with understanding as she stared into his honey eyes. Tears threatened to fill her lids as she realized the connection that she’d been missing the last few weeks was back. He was filling an ache deep inside of her, not just a physical one, but an emotional one, too.

  Ethan had been so guarded, so angry, so distant. Every day that passed she’d felt him drifting father away from her. But right now they were one with each other. They were connected. Not just their bodies, but their spirits. There were no barriers between them.

  Without waiting for permission from her brain, her tear ducts acted on their own accord and she felt a drop slip down her cheek.

  Ethan’s brow creased. “Jess?”

  “I missed you,” she admitted as another tear fell down her face.

  Needing to show him just how much she’d missed him, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his neck. When she did, her nipples brushed against his skin and the sensation caused her core to spasm around his body embedded deeply inside of her. His fingers gripped her as he inhaled sharply.

  “Is this okay?” She asked against his salty skin.

  “Yes.”

  He let his head drop back, giving her greater access, and she began to trail her mouth along the vein that always popped out when he was mad or turned on. She licked up the side of his neck and nibbled as she went back down. Using his good arm, his hand roamed her thigh, her back, her neck, and her hip.

  She could feel him expanding inside of her. His member pulsed against her walls that cocooned him. Having him fill her up so completely forcing herself to keep her hips still while she kissed his neck was a different kind of erotic. It was a slow build that soon had her fighting the urge to squirm.

  When her need reached critical mass, she sat up and breathlessly asked, “Can I move yet?”

  “Touch yourself.”

  “What?”

  His eyes lowered down to where their bodies were intimately joined. “Touch yourself.”

  She trailed her fingers down his chiseled chest on their way to his appointed destination. Her gaze stayed trained on Ethan’s face as she watched him watch her. Seeing the way he looked at her emboldened her and she spread her thighs farther apart as she slid her finger between her lips and began rubbing her swollen, sensitized nub.

  She set the rhythm that she knew would bring her to climax the fastest and when she did, her body began milking him.

  “Fuck, that’s hot,” he groaned as he gripped her hips tighter.

  That was all it took for her to go up and over the edge. She tried to stay as still as possible as wave after wave of release enveloped her.

  When the last spasm rocked through her and she drifted back to the present she opened her eyes and saw Ethan staring back at her.

  “Did you…”

  He let out a small chuckle. “Yeah.”

  “Good.” She smiled as she snuggled into her favorite position, lying her head on his shoulder.

  With his good arm he ran his hand up and down her thigh and it was as if nothing else existed. It was just the two of them. She held onto him, clinging to the moment. She thought about telling him how she felt but decided that she didn’t want the bubble they were floating in to burst.

  If she could stop time, this would be the second she chose to freeze. She didn’t know what their future held, or even what was going to happen tomorrow, but right now, everything was right in the world.

  CHAPTER 25

  Ethan flipped off the television. “Jess, we need to talk.”

  There was no answer.

  “Jess! We need to talk!” Ethan called out a little louder.

  “I heard you the first time,” she yelled from the kitchen.

  “Then why didn’t you answer me?” he said beneath his breath.

  “I did, Oscar,” she responded sassily.

  Oscar was her newest “clever” nickname for him. She found it very amusing as did the many visitors that stopped by. Him…not so much.

  “I said ‘K’ you just didn’t hear me.” She stuck her head around the corner from the kitchen and held out a loaf of bread. “I’m gonna make spaghetti for dinner if that’s good with you?”

  No.

  Ethan was not going to let another day pass without saying what needed to be said. He’d put it off too long. There was naughty nurse night two nights ago, and hell, he was human. Then last night, Kade and Ali had stopped by and ended up staying until after eleven. No more excuses, no more distractions. If someone showed up, he wasn’t answering the door and neither was she. And if Jess had another seduction planned, he was going to cut it off before it started.

  And he wasn’t about to let her cook a meal just so he could tell her to leave.

  “We need to talk,” he repeated.

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “I thought we established I heard you the first time. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this or not, but a lot of people have been trying this new thing where they talk and eat at the same time. I know it sounds crazy, but I was thinking we might just want to try it.”

  The corners of his lips tilted up, despite everything that he knew was coming. He couldn’t help himself around Jess. No matter how bad of a mood he was in, or how much pain, even when she was being a smartass, or especially when she was being a smartass, he was amused by it.

  “I don’t want to eat. We need to talk.”

  At the gravity of his tone she stepped out into the back room. “What’s wrong? Did your test results come back? Is this a five?”

  “A what?” His brow wrinkled.

  “A five. On a scale of one to five, how bad is this? One being that you have a hangnail and five being that you have a week to live.”

  “It’s not health-related. It’s about us.”

  “Oh.” Her shoulders visibly dropped with relief and he hadn’t even realized that they’d scrunched up to her ears. She let out an exhale and shook her head in slight irritation. “Can’t we have the ‘us’ talk over dinner?” She waved the bread in her hand.

  “No.”

  Her head dropped back. “Fine.” She returned to the kitchen and when she reappeared, she was no longer toting a loaf of bread.

  She was fighting a yawn as she plopped down on the chair across from him. She blinked several times as if she were trying to wake herself up and it was the first time he noticed that there were bags beneath her eyes.

 
“You’re tired.”

  “Yep.” She didn’t try and deny it.

  “You’ve been doing too much.”

  “Yep.” Again, she just agreed. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? Because believe me, my dad has got it covered. I need to rest more. Sleep more. Eat more. Drink more, no wait that was mine.”

  “Your dad’s right.”

  Her head tilted slightly. “Are you going to get to the part where we talk about us because that pasta is calling my name?”

  “We need to break up.”

  She started to stand. “I know, but like I said, that’s going to put me in a very bad light and I need to keep my reputati—”

  “I’m serious.” He barked.

  She froze halfway up and her eyes widened before she sank back down onto the chair. “Okay.”

  “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but you don’t have to. I don’t want you to.”

  “Great, well now that we’ve got that settled.”

  “Stop. Jess, listen to me.”

  This time she stood all the way up. “I am. You said that you appreciate me doing things that I don’t have to and you don’t want me to do. This is not new information. If anything it’s more like a broken record.” She pivoted toward the kitchen either intentionally avoiding the conversation or just dismissing it all together.

  “I want you to leave.” That got her attention so he went in for the kill. He took a deep breath, knowing that he needed to get this over with. The faster the better, like ripping off a bandage. It was either hurt her a little now or leave her devastated later. “Now.”

  She slowly turned around.

  * * *

  “Where is this coming from?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and tried to remain calm. Her plan had been to ignore his subtle and not-so-subtle attempts at calling things off between them in order to give her time to show him just how amazing they could be together, but it looked like her time was up.

  “It’s not coming from anywhere. The plan was always to break up after the talent show. That was weeks ago.”

  “Yeah, well,” she waved her hand up and down at him, “circumstances changed.”

  “I know. But it’s time to get things back on track.”

  “Back on track,” she repeated as her eyes narrowed.

  “There’s no reason to keep this up. It’s time we both got back to living our lives.”

  “Are you serious?” her tone was deadly calm.

  “Yes.”

  “You’re seriously breaking up with me?” Now her voice was borderline menacing.

  “We were never together.”

  “Really?” She unfolded her arms and her hands fisted at her sides. “What about Chicago? We weren’t together in Chicago?”

  “Jess.”

  “I swear to God, if you say my name one more time, I’m going to scream.”

  “Chicago was great. But that’s not real life.”

  No. She was not going to let him get away with this. There had been something between them and she wasn’t about to let him deny it.

  “And what about Fourth of July? Or the other night when I came over as a nurse? That’s not real life?”

  “That was sex. It was great, but like I said, I’m not looking for a relationship. I only asked you because I thought that you wouldn’t get attached. If that happened, I’m sorry, but I was clear from the beginning what this was and what it wasn’t.”

  She knew he was lying, or at least she hoped he was. Either way, she wanted to find out. “You know, I was talking to Ali about that, that you only asked me because I didn’t like you, and you know what she did?”

  Jess waited for him to respond, even though it was a rhetorical question. Finally, his head jerked slightly to the side and she chose to interpret it as a no head shake.

  “She laughed her ass off, that’s what she did. She thought it was hilarious that I would believe that story. She said that you asked me because you’ve always had feelings for me and this was your way in.”

  She saw a flash of recognition, like he’d been caught, but then it was gone and his face was back to being a mask that she was unable to read.

  Deciding it was now or never, she laid it all out on the table. “At first, I thought she was high or something, but she had some pretty compelling evidence. You running by my house, showing up at events just because you knew I was going to be there, coming up with this plan because you knew I wouldn’t go out with you if you just asked me.

  “So, is she right? Did you ask me as a way in or was it really because you were tired of being set up?”

  She pronounced really in such a way as to be sure to let him know it sounded ludicrous.

  Ethan’s jaw ticked and she could see he was choosing his words carefully. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Great! If it doesn’t matter then man the fuck up and just answer the question.” She was trying to push his buttons. She didn’t want him controlled, if he was controlled he wouldn’t reveal the truth. “You had the balls to ask me to pretend to be your girlfriend and then sleep with me, have the balls to tell me the truth as to why. Was Ali right? Were you asking me because you knew I wouldn’t go out with you any other way?”

  He knew that she was trying to get under his skin, and it was working. “Yes.”

  “And what about the ballet, and the movie night, and the art festival, did you go to those things just to see me?”

  “Yes.”

  “And running by my house? Were you doing that on purpose to drive me crazy?”

  “No.”

  She crossed her arms again and stared at him. Out of everything she’d just pointed out that was the one that she’d been absolutely sure of.

  “Not at first.” He sighed. “I started running by there after your surgery. I don’t know why just seeing your house made me feel better, but it did. Then it became my routine.”

  “Your routine?”

  “Yes.”

  “And your ‘routine’ just happens to coincide with the time I leave for work in the morning? And your ‘routine’ happened to be taking your shirt off right when you passed my house?”

  “No, those were intentional.”

  Vindication infused through her. She knew she’d been right. “To drive me crazy.”

  “I figured it’s only fair since you’ve driven me crazy for so long I don’t even remember what being sane feels like,” he admitted, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

  “Good.”

  “Good?”

  “Yes. We drive each other crazy. That means things won’t get boring between us.”

  “There is no us.” His nostrils flared.

  It was clear that he was fighting what was between them and she thought she had a pretty good idea why. “Bullshit.”

  “Jess—”

  “I told you, don’t Jess me! Why did you tell me about your dad and being found in the alley?”

  “What?”

  “Why? Why did you tell me that? Was it just so you could sleep with me?”

  “No.” His anger was palpable from just the mere suggestion.

  Her plan was working.

  “So, you cared about me then, but after you slept with me you got over it?”

  “Fuck no.” The intensity that she hadn’t seen in his eyes since before the incident was back and Jess mentally patted herself on the back.

  “So, then….you never cared about me at all?”

  The vein in his neck popped out and his eyes narrowed in awareness. She saw the moment he figured out what she’d been doing, playing him to get him to admit that he cared about her. Since the jig was up, she figured she’d do the admitting for him.

  “You love me, Ethan. And I love you. It might’ve taken me a little bit longer to figure that out than you, but at least once I knew it I wasn’t too chicken shit to fight for it.”

  “I don’t love you.”

  “Yes, you do,” she stated calmly. “But for some reason you�
�re too scared to admit it. Maybe even to yourself, but I doubt that. So what is it? What are you scared of?”

  “I’m not scared, it just wouldn’t work.”

  “How do you know that? You didn’t even give it—give us—a chance.”

  “I just know.”

  “How?!”

  “Because I’m not quitting my job.”

  Jess tried to fit Ethan’s statement into the context of their conversation but she wasn’t able to. “What are you talking about?”

  “I can’t be with you and be on the job.”

  “Why not? Plenty of people seem to do it just fine.”

  “Because I’m not going to let you be Lori, or me.”

  “What?” He wasn’t making sense.

  “I’m not going to let you be the person that has someone waiting outside of your school or showing up at your door to tell you that I’m gone. I won’t do that to you.”

  “Oh my God!” She shouted. “And people say I’m a drama queen.”

  He looked at her like he agreed that she was kind of a drama queen, and she wanted to punch the smug expression off of his face.

  But instead, she decided to point out what an idiot he was being. “Who is asking you to quit your job? And do you think you’ve got the market cornered on being scared?! Do you think that I want you to be like my parents? Do you think I haven’t thought a million times about what would happen if I get sick again?

  “Do you remember the first time I met you? I wasn’t scared for me. I was scared for my parents. What was going to happen to them if I was gone? Do you think I want to put you through that? Do you think I want to have to tell you if my organs start rejecti—”

  “Don’t,” he cut her off.

  “Don’t what? Tell the truth? That’s the truth. I might get sick again. And you might end up like your dad or Carter.”

  “Jess.”

  She thought about screaming since he’d said her name again but decided to take a different route. “But you know what? None of that matters, because I love you. So, I’m going to ask you if you love me one more time, and if you say no then—”

  She stopped when she realized she was giving basically the same speech Skylar had given Will in Good Will Hunting. When she watched the movie she thought it was such a romantic and heartbreaking moment, but now that she was living it, she realized it wasn’t.