by Mike Ryan
“Uhh no.”
“You know, that’s probably a bad idea. I don’t think I’d like that after all.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“No. I’d get too jealous of guys looking at you like that.”
“Flattering. So why’d you start drinking tonight?” Parker asked.
“Cause I’m such a loser.”
“You are not a loser.”
“My life is such a mess and I just wanna escape from it all. My mom died, my best friend’s dead, my fiancée cheated on me, my college buddy has tried to kill me…several times, there’s really not a whole lot going right for me right now. No bright spots,” he said, motioning like something was shining down on his head.
“You have me. Isn’t that a bright spot?”
“Not really. You’re just a temporary…spot. If that makes sense. You’re gonna leave sometime probably and I’ll probably never see you again, and I’ll be all alone by myself.”
“You don’t know that,” she said.
“You know what, screw it,” Turner shouted.
“Uhh, what?”
“If you’re leaving soon, I might as well just do what I want to do and make the most of the time we have.”
“Which is?”
“I wanna kiss you. A lot. Like…all over your body,” he motioned.
Parker smiled. She wouldn’t have minded so much if he didn’t reek of alcohol, almost making her eyes water. “I think what you need, is to just lay down and get some sleep.”
“What’s the matter? You don’t wanna kiss me? You don’t like me. I can tell,” he said, despondent.
“It’s not that,” she told him, grabbing his shoulders and gently pushing him over to lay down. “I’d rather you wait so you’d actually remember it,” she said with a laugh.
“So you would kiss me?” he hopefully asked.
“Maybe when you’re sober.”
“I can do that.”
“So get some rest and we can talk more about this tomorrow, OK?” she said, pulling a blanket over him.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Parker sat on the floor next to him for a few minutes until he drifted off to sleep. She stroked his hair for a few minutes and then kissed him on the cheek. She put her clothes away and then settled in on the chair next to the couch and watched TV so she could keep an eye on Turner for the night. She replayed the Star Wars movie so she could finally see why Turner loved it so much.
“Hmm. Not bad,” she murmured as the ending credits played. “Wonder if they made any sequels.”
Vicky got home about midnight and saw both of them sleeping. She gently pulled the remote out of Parker’s hand and put it on the table and then grabbed a blanket to put over her. She touched Parker’s shoulder and then kissed her brother on the forehead before going to bed.
The following morning, Alex got up around seven and made pancakes for everyone before she got ready for the funeral. Vicky joined her half an hour later as the two of them ate and discussed Turner’s behavior from the previous night. Turner peeled himself off the couch at eight and stumbled his way into the kitchen, looking completely disheveled.
“Hey,” Parker greeted.
“How you feeling?” Vicki asked.
“My head hurts so bad,” Turner responded, holding it with both hands. “Did someone hit me with a hammer?”
“So we can’t even leave you for three hours without you falling apart?” Vicky asked him.
“Stop. I don’t even wanna talk about it,” he said. “I didn’t say or do anything stupid, did I?”
“You don’t remember anything?”
“No. What’d I do?”
“I wasn’t here. I’ve only heard it second hand,” she said. “Alex dealt with your…situation.”
“Alex, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s OK. Finally got to see a different side of you,” Parker replied.
“I didn’t say anything dumb or anything, did I?”
“You mean other than taking all your clothes off and running through the house naked?” she kidded.
Turner’s eyes bulged out. “I didn’t.”
Parker nodded. “You did.”
Turner started feeling all his clothes. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“It’s a good thing I got it all on video.”
“What?” Turner said, backing into the wall. “Excuse me, I think I’m gonna go…light myself on fire or something.”
Parker and Vicky let out a laugh. “I’m just teasing you. That didn’t happen,” Parker told him.
“Oh, thank God. Don’t do that to me. I almost had a heart attack.”
“Sorry, it was too easy.”
“Come eat,” Vicky told him, as she put a few aspirin next to his plate.
“You really don’t remember anything last night?” Parker asked.
“I said something, didn’t I?” Turner worried.
“Nothing too crazy.”
“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?”
“Nope,” she smiled.
After breakfast, the three of them continued getting ready for the funeral. Turner was dressed in no time and he waited patiently for the girls to be ready. He stood in the kitchen against the sink as he waited. They both walked out together and Turner’s jaw dropped.
“Wow. You look so good,” he said.
“As much as I love compliments, I really hope that’s not for me,” Vicky stated.
“Uhh, no…I mean, you do look good.”
“Thanks.”
“How do you do it?” Turner asked, looking at Parker.
“Do what?” she wondered.
“How do you look so good in everything,” he gushed.
She smiled. “It’s just an ordinary, plain, black dress.”
“Well it’s not really the dress per se, as much as the way you fill…you know what, I’m just gonna shut up now before I make an ass out of myself, and go get the car ready,” he stammered as he walked out the door.
Vicky and Parker looked at each other. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so infatuated before,” Vicky told her. “You get him all tied up in knots.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing.”
They picked up Brad on the way to the service, which was behind held outdoors in the cemetery. As the eulogy was being given, Turner stood there with his arms down at his side, looking down at the ground. He sighed as memories started coming back to him. Parker was standing next to him and felt so badly for him. She saw his hand next to his side and slightly hesitated, but ultimately decided to slip her hand into his for support. Once Turner felt her fingers locking with his, he tilted his head in her direction without directly looking at her. She worried that he wouldn’t like her doing it, but once he squeezed her hand a little tighter, and rubbed her finger with his thumb, she knew he was good with it. It felt so natural for them that their hands never separated for the rest of the funeral. After it was over, Turner went over to Mark’s parents, to pay his respects. Brad noticed they were holding hands and nudged Vicky to look at them. Due to their surroundings, Vicky had to suppress her excitement, though she wanted to squeal at the top of her lungs.
“What happened there?” Brad asked.
“I have no idea,” Vicky whispered back. “Let’s just hope it’s for good.”
The two of them went back to the car and waited for Parker and Turner to come back. The four of them went out to lunch, and for the first time she could ever remember, Parker didn’t think of a single thing job related. The entire day, she didn’t think of missions, or covers, or aliases. She was just living in the moment. The four of them ate, and talked, and laughed, and had a great time being with each other. Not once did her mind go back to Davis, or being suspended, or about when she’d get back. At that moment, she didn’t even care. She felt like she was finally starting to settle in and that she could get used to a life like this. After lunch, Parker and Turner got dropped off at Vicky’s house. Parker went inside
while Turner went back to Vicky’s car to talk to his sister.
“So what’s going on with you two?” Vicky asked excitedly, not waiting to see what her brother wanted.
“What do you mean?”
“You were holding hands at the funeral, and you both seemed very flirty at the restaurant, along with some touching.”
“I really don’t know.”
“Well get in there and do something about it,” she told him.
“Vick, at some point we both know she’s gonna go back to her job and her life. I don’t think I really fit into that,” he said.
“Ryan, I know you’re not always truthful with me when it comes to women and your feelings, but be honest, do you like her? And I don’t mean as friends.”
Turner bobbed his head from side to side, taking a second to answer. “Yeah. I like her a lot.”
“Then fight for her. Don’t let her go.”
“How am I gonna stop her?” he asked. “I don’t know if you know this, but she knows mixed martial arts. She can kick my ass.”
“I don’t mean physically. Be passionate. Tell her how you feel and what you want. Even if she has to go at some point, long distance relationships work for a period of time until you figure out how to be closer. Don’t let her escape if she’s what you want,” Vicky explained.
“You can do it bro,” Brad chimed in. “Lay the charm down.”
“Lay the charm down. You know I failed that class in college.”
Vicky laughed. “Just be yourself. It seems to be working so far.”
“Just be myself. I guess I can do that,” Turner stated.
“Now get in there and win her over,” Vicky told him.
“All right. I can do it.”
“I’ll be back later,” she smiled, hopeful that he could do it.
Turner turned around and walked back to the house, unsure what he was going to say. He knew his sister was right and he should let his emotions out, but he was still nervous. What if he poured his heart out on his sleeve but she still rejected him. He’d wind up having a marathon Star Wars drinking night. He stood at the door and took a deep breath before he went in. Parker was sitting on the couch flipping through TV stations. He sat down next to her, contemplating where to begin.
“You know, I never really had much time before, but there’s really not much on in the day,” Parker mentioned.
“Yeah, daytime TV sucks. Nothing but soap operas, court shows, and game shows.”
“So what were you talking to your sister about?”
Turner thought about lying, but decided it was better to just be honest. “You, actually.”
“Really? Why me?”
“There was the whole hand holding thing that she noticed,” he told her.
“Oh. I’m uhh…sorry about that. I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable for you.”
“No, no, it’s fine. Completely comfortable on my end,” he said, smiling at her to ease her fears.
“And?”
“And she just wondered what was going on with us.”
“And you said?” she wondered.
“That I really didn’t know.”
“Oh,” Parker said, looking at the TV.
“That’s kind of what I’d like to talk to you about, if you don’t mind,” Turner sheepishly said.
“Sure,” Parker replied, turning the TV off to look at him.
“I think I’ve told you before how attracted I am to you and how you’re everything I could ever want.”
“Was that before or after you told me you could never be with me, with my job, not knowing if or when I was coming home,” she playfully reminded him.
“Uhh, yeah, I did say something like that, didn’t I?”
Parker smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, I was pretty much a jackass for saying that,” Turner told her.
“Well, it wasn’t without some merit I guess.”
“You know, ever since you walked into my life, we’ve done a little song and dance about our feelings towards each other. One minute we like each other, then take a step back, then go separate ways, yadda yadda yadda.”
Parker stared into his eyes and took a gulp, knowing he was getting at something.
“The truth is, these last four or five days since you’ve been back I can’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to just be with you. I mean…together. Even when I was with Marissa, as great as she was, I never felt like I could be myself. Deep down, I knew that it wasn’t going to last. When you’re near me, I feel different, like the sun’s always shining on me, as corny as that sounds,” he laughed.
Parker laughed with him. “You know, none of that can change who I am or what I do,” she cautioned.
“I know. I know that. I’m not asking you to change, or to quit, or anything. I’m just saying that I’m crazy for you and I’ve been holding that in since I met you and I don’t want you to walk out of my life again. I want you. And I know that you’ll be reinstated soon probably and flying out somewhere for who knows how long, but I want you to know that whenever your mission’s done, that you know you have somewhere to come home to, and someone who cares about you to come home to.”
Parker took both of his hands and held them with hers as she processed what he was telling her. It was what she wanted to hear though she knew it presented a host of problems. She was starting to let her wall down.
“You know, this moment is a moment that I’ve dreamed about for a long time. But one that I didn’t think would happen, or maybe should happen. But…,”
“No, no, no. No buts,” Turner objected.
Parker raised her eyebrows as she further explained. “But I knew as soon as we met that you were someone I could really fall for if I let my guard down,” she said, wiping her eye. “And I have. But it’s probably not the best of ideas for us to pursue this.”
“Why? Why not?”
“Because getting into a relationship can get complicated. For both of us,” she reasoned.
“I don’t care about complicated. We can work it out. If you truly have feelings for me then we can figure something out.”
“It’s not as easy as it sounds. Believe me, I’ve thought of all of it before. Countless times.”
“We can try. Maybe you can request to have a month or two off after missions, or maybe even work here in the states more,” Turner offered. “Even if it’s somewhere else. I can move.”
“What about your life here? You family, your friends, your job?”
“There’s nothing holding me here. My best friend is gone. Vicky’s moving on with her life. She’ll be married soon and having a family probably. She can’t keep looking after her older brother, trying to keep protecting him. And my job…I can get a job anywhere. I’ll work at McDonald’s or Walmart if I have to. I don’t care.”
Parker thought deeply about what he was saying, her eyes dancing around the room as she contemplated. “It won’t be easy.”
“I don’t care about easy. I just want a shot at being truly, truly happy. When we were holding hands earlier, it dawned on me. The times when I’m at my most happiest…is when I’m with you. I know you make me happy. And I think…maybe I could make you happy too.”
Parker smiled at him, her eyes starting to get teary. She knew she shouldn’t, but she was through fighting it any longer. She wanted to be happy. The thought of maybe having a regular life someday was enough to keep her going. She took his hands and put them around her back, wrapping his arms around her as she leaned in closer to kiss him. They laid down on the couch, Parker on top of him, as they continued passionately kissing.
“What do you think Cole would say if he saw us right now?” Turner asked.
“It’d probably kill him,” Parker laughed.
Chapter 4
Prior to Cole meeting his informant, he picked up his new partner at a hotel. Bill Dickson had only been a ghost agent for a mere six months before getting this assignment. He’d completed a few low level missions to get
himself acclimated, but this was a big step up for him. He ranked very highly in all facets of training and was thought to be on the fast track. Burnett had hopes that throwing him in with Cole on a high profile assignment would accelerate his progress. Especially with all the problems she was having with Parker, she needed to develop agents who were as good as or better than her. As soon as Cole saw Dickson, he had reservations about him. Young, good looking, slicked back hair and sunglasses, he looked like he just came out of a Tom Cruise movie. Cole didn’t believe the kid had enough experience to be place in this kind of situation, but he was hoping he’d be proven wrong.
“Agent Cole,” Dickson greeted, shaking Cole’s hand.
“I have a car in front,” Cole coldly replied.
“I’m Bill…,”
“I know who you are. I’ve read your file. Let’s go.”
It really wasn’t the kind of reception that Dickson had been hoping for or expecting. Cole was a big time agent in the field, the kind a newer agent would dream of getting as a mentor or partner. As soon as they got in Cole’s truck, he started getting questions from his new partner.
“I take it you’re not fond of me,” Dickson said.
“Don’t take it personally, kid. One, I’m not fond of partners. Don’t usually trust ‘em, don’t usually need ‘em, and don’t usually want ‘em.”
“I see.”
“Only exception to that is my last partner, the one you’re replacing. I’d trust her with my life. Until you perform in the field at a high level, you got a long way to go to catch up to that.”
“I’m confident that I’ll surpass your expectations. I was among the highest rated students ever produced out of camp,” he gloated.
“Well that makes me feel all warm and tingly inside,” Cole joked.
“So where are we off to?” Dickson wondered.
“Meeting with an arms dealer. Says he knows where Heath Davis is.”
“Great. We should have this wrapped up pretty soon then,” he confidently replied.
“You think so? Listen, idiot, we’ve been trailing Davis for months. Every time we think we’ve gotten close he’s slipped away. He’s always one step ahead of us. So before you start making plans for dinner next Tuesday after this mission’s wrapped up, you may wanna cool your jets.”
