Radio Gaga

by Nell Dixon

  I made a quick getaway into the outer studio before she could reply.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ben and Merv were huddled together with Steph’s producer.

  Merv turned round to face me. “The zoo, marvellous! Ben here should get some cracking shots of you on Friday. Tarantula on your hand or a python round your neck.” He rubbed his hands together with glee while my bacon and mushroom bap from earlier threatened to make a reappearance.

  “We’d better go and take some shots.” Ben didn’t look as if he was convinced by my fake over-bright grin.

  I was determined not to let either Merv or Steph know that they had me rattled otherwise God knew what I’d end up doing next week. Merv led the way to his office, still looking suspiciously pleased with himself.

  Once inside his office I soon discovered the reason for his glee. He’d been very busy assembling props to match the challenges. He thrust the cardboard box containing a neon orange nylon wig, face paints and a red nose back into the corner.

  “Here we go.” He delved into the contents of another identical brown box and fished out some grotesque plastic spiders and a huge bright blue stuffed snake with evil beady eyes and red felt forked tongue.

  Ben exchanged glances with me. I didn’t think he rated Merv’s choice of props anymore than I did.

  "I think we can get a great picture using these.” He tossed the snake at me as he crossed the room opening the door to stick his head into the corridor.

  “Singh! Get in here.”

  The snake and I eyeballed one another while we waited for Bhangra Bob to arrive.

  “Now, if we get Singh to hold the snake and Lark, you can pretend to look terrified.” Merv snatched the snake from me and thrust it at Bob.

  Bob cuddled the snake as Merv manoeuvred us into position against the plain cream background of his office wall.

  “Needs something else.” He frowned, surveying our pose before dragging the big yucca plant that normally lived behind his desk into the shot.

  With Merv satisfied with his handiwork Ben set to work getting some pictures. Bhangra Bob dutifully shoved the snake at me and attempted to look evil while I held my hands to my face and tried to appear terrified like a heroine in a black and white film.

  “Okay, I think these will be fine.” Ben squinted down at the back of his camera as he checked back on the pictures.

  “Lark, Tracey will give you the details for your contact at the zoo. Friday is the big day. I want lots of big snakes, huge lizards and hairy spiders. The veg thing will be weekly. I want updates, involve the other allotment holders and get pictures. The Gazette is investing in this to drive up their advertising revenue and I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of what’s at stake here, do I Lark?” He raised an eyebrow.

  He accepted my brief nod as an answer and shooed me and Ben out into the corridor.

  “Ugh, whenever I spend anytime with Merv I always come away feeling as if I’d like a hot shower with carbolic soap.” I gave a little shudder as I marched past Steph’s studio.

  “Hmm, he’s quite a character. He’s very pally with my boss. It was Merv who persuaded the Gazette to sponsor your Challenge Chloe events. The paper sold a lot of extra copies and got a lot more hits on their website after your stunt at the castle.” Ben halted at the door leading back into the reception area to fiddle with his camera.

  “I suppose I’ll see you on Friday at the zoo?” I didn’t mind having an excuse to see Ben again. It would have been much better if our next meeting didn’t have to involve snakes or creepy-crawlies though.

  “Yep, let me know when you have the time fixed up. I need some pictures of you with Fred too. The Gazette is planning a monthly update on your progress in the Saturday gardening column.” He lifted his head to gaze directly into my eyes sending a delicious shiver along my spine.

  “Okay, I um could just run upstairs or put a note through your door or something.” I knew my face had turned red. Gah, why did being around Ben always make me feel like a gawky schoolgirl with a crush?

  His lips curved. “Sure. I’d better get going; I’ve several more jobs to get through today.”

  He opened the door and waited for me to walk into reception before following.

  “I’ll talk to you later then.”

  He handed his pass back to Tracey and signed out. “Okay, see you soon Chloe, give my regards to your mum.”

  He lifted his hand in farewell to Tracey and I watched him stroll away across the car park.

  “Oh yes? Is there something going on between you and…” Tracey looked at his name in the visitors book, “…Ben?” She joined me at the counter to stare wistfully out at Ben’s retreating back view. It was a very nice back view.

  “He’s the new photographer-cum-journo for the Gazette. He’s also my new upstairs neighbour.”

  “Nice.” She sighed appreciatively as Ben vanished from sight. “Is he taken? Wife? Girlfriend?”

  “Single, as far as I know. His sister helped him move in.” I did my best to sound casual. Tracey loved to know everything about everyone and she knew all about my relationship disasters.

  “Oh, then do I detect a possible romance candidate?” She leaned forward on the counter, her heavily-mascaraed eyes wide with interest.

  “I don’t think so. We didn’t get off to a great start. I threw up over his feet at the castle.”

  “Oh, that is not good! Still I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.” She heaved another huge sigh, ruffling the papers on the counter surface.

  “Tracey, you’re a happily married woman.” Tracey had been married to her beloved for as long as I’d been at the station. Her mission in life was to get anyone else who still happened to be single into the same loved up state of unified bliss.

  “I’m married, not dead. I can look at the merchandise so long as I don’t touch it. I mean I can admire a Porsche but still be happy driving my Fiat.”

  * * *

  I arrived back at my flat after spending the rest of my work day researching, recording interview clips for the local news bulletins and avoiding Merv to discover my mother had decided to redecorate.

  “What are you doing?” The smell of paint met me as soon as I opened my front door.

  My mother climbed carefully down the metal stepladder and onto the dustsheet. “I thought I’d make myself useful while I was here. It’s no wonder you’ve been feeling depressed surrounded by these dingy walls. A nice fresh coat of white paint does wonders for a place.”

  Okay, so I had already thought about redecorating but painting everything blinding white wasn’t quite what I’d had in mind.

  “That’s very thoughtful of you Mum. I’ll show you some of the colours I’d picked out.” It would make no difference, she’d simply carry on with what she thought was right for me regardless of what I actually wanted. She’d done it my whole life from choosing my clothes to choosing my friends.

  “Oh, and I printed off some job vacancies I thought you might be interested in. They’re on the side in the kitchen.” She rested her paint roller in the tray and peeled off her gloves.

  Gritting my teeth, I tried to stay calm. “I’ll go and make a cup of tea shall I? You must be thirsty after all your hard work.”

  I left her to finish off and busied myself in the kitchen chuntering under my breath as I banged around with the kettle and the teabags. She joined me as I fished the teabags out of the mugs.

  “I’ll rinse these out ready for tomorrow.” She placed her paint tray and roller in the sink and turned on the tap. My mother is the only person I know who can decorate and not get a speck of paint anywhere on their person. I suspect the paint is probably too scared to land on her.

  She dried her hands and picked up her tea, her nose wrinkling with distaste that I hadn’t offered her a cup instead of a mug bearing the slogan ‘Keep Calm and Sod Off’. Hmm, perhaps that was a Freudian slip.

  “You know Mum, you really don’t have to do all this. I feel so guilty that you’
re here with me when you have so much good work to get done at home.” I kept my fingers crossed behind my back that she would take the hint.

  “Nonsense, darling. I’ve told you before you always come first to me. Besides it’s apparent that you need some help right now.”

  I wilted. My mother should patent the look she always gives me when she’s delivering this kind of speech. It’s a mix of pity, sorrow and disappointment.

  In an attempt to distract her from launching into a recitation of how I should find a better job, move, land a suitable man and get a better haircut I pulled a paint chart from the drawer and presented it to her.

  “These were the colours I planned for the lounge.”

  She placed her tea down on the counter and thumbed through the booklet with her manicured nails until she found the squares I’d marked.

  “Mellow yellow walls with a mocha feature wall. Really Chloe, it’ll look like the inside of a mouldy banana.” She dropped the brochure next to her mug. “Oh, I ran into Neil in town at lunchtime when I was coming out of the DIY store.”

  It was a great shame she hadn’t run over him rather than into him.

  “Really.”

  “He doesn’t look at all well. I think he still has feelings for you. He’d read about you in the paper and asked how you were doing.”

  “Did he?” I wasn’t interested in the answer. I didn’t want to know about Neil unless it was to hear that he was miserable and preferably suffering from some painful mystery illness that made him impotent.

  “Yes, he was terribly sympathetic when I told him how poorly you’d been since you’d broken up.”

  Great, terrific. If my mother didn’t go home soon I would be forced to kill her.

  “Mum, you do know that I wouldn’t have Neil back if he came gift wrapped with ribbon on the bonnet of a free Porsche?”

  My outburst earned me another of her ‘looks’. “The trouble with you Chloe Lark is that you wouldn’t know a good thing if it hit you. I suppose there’s always that nice young man upstairs. At least he has a regular job. I do wish I could recall where I’ve seen his face before, he seems so familiar.”

  The doorbell rang and I left her to her musing glad of the reprieve.

  “Hiya.” Shelly stepped into the hall. “Phew, I can smell paint.”

  “Mum decided to decorate.”

  Shelly grimaced. “Ooookay, I’m guessing she didn’t run it past you first.”

  “What do you think?”

  She laughed. “I didn’t think so. I heard you on the radio. You hate snakes! How are you going to get round that one?”

  “Not by taking anymore of your blasted pills, that’s for sure.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Are you coming in?” She made no move towards the lounge.

  “Can’t, I’m on my way to Fat Club. It’s weighing night tonight. I thought I’d stop by on my way to see how you were taking the whole snake and gardening thing. They weren’t on your list were they?”

  “How long have you been my friend?”

  “Okay, I thought it sounded like a Merv special.”

  That was something of an understatement. I suspected there had been a good dose of Steph, too, in the options the listeners had been given.

  “I was stitched up like a kipper but it could work out well. I mean I’ll be in the paper at least once, maybe twice a week. I’m getting more airtime and my own special slot, plus the video on the website.” I’d been thinking of the positive aspects all day, helped along by Steph’s obvious fury.

  “That’s very true. I’m glad you’re okay about the snakes and spiders.”

  “I’m sure I’ll think of something once I’m there. Most of it is sound recording interviews and pieces anyway so as long as Ben gets a couple of pics for the radio website and the Gazette then I’ll be fine.”

  “I didn’t realise Ben would be at the zoo?” Shelly lifted an enquiring eyebrow.

  “It’s his job so don’t get ideas. He still thinks I’m the druggie nutter who puked on his shoes remember?”

  “Huh huh.” Shelly had a wicked twinkle in her eyes. “But you still fancy him.”

  There was no answer to that. At least not one I was prepared to give.

  Chapter Twelve

  The following morning I was about to head off to work when I spotted Ben’s sister struggling to get a large pink suitcase out of a cab. Her glossy blonde ponytail was limp and bedraggled. The skin on her face was blotchy and there were red rims around her eyes as if she’d been crying.

  I went over to offer her a hand with her luggage. “Oh hi, its Ben’s sister isn’t it? I’m Chloe, from downstairs.”

  She nodded her head in reply as she handed the cabbie a twenty pound note. “I’m Tash.”

  The cab pulled away leaving me standing on the drive with Tash, a huge holdall and a big case.

  “Would you like some help to get your bags upstairs?” It looked from the size of her luggage as if she intended to stay a while.

  She bit her lip and glanced nervously up at Ben’s window before replying. “Thanks. Ben isn’t expecting me so I don’t know if he’s home.”

  Curiouser and curiouser. “His car isn’t here so he might have left already. Do you have a key?”

  She dug down into a tiny messenger bag slung around her shoulder. “Yes.”

  Armed with a key we set off up the stairs. I must admit I was curious to see inside the flat. We arrived panting on the tiny landing outside Ben’s front door and Tash pressed the doorbell.

  “He must have gone to work,” I said after we’d waited for a couple of minutes with no response from inside.

  Tash sighed and unlocked the door. I followed behind her with her holdall as she towed her case inside. Ben’s flat was nice, airy and light with walls the colour of clotted cream. A large matching fluffy rug was spread on the floor in front of the dark leather sofas I’d seen the day he’d moved in and a few pictures of Ben and Tash stood on a glass topped coffee table.

  “Thanks for your help. I do appreciate it. Have you got time for a coffee?” Tash dropped her case next to the sofa and headed for the kitchen.

  I hadn’t really, but what the hell, I’d make it up to Merv by staying later. “Sure, that would be nice.”

  I wandered over to the kitchen doorway. Tash had kicked off her heels in a corner and pattered around the small room gathering mugs, spoons and milk.

  “It’ll be a nice surprise for Ben to have you stay.” I shook my head at the offer of sugar.

  She gave a small shrug and handed me my drink. “I hope so. He likes his privacy though, so he might be a bit miffed. I don’t have anywhere else to go. One more hour spent with the olds and I would have killed them.”

  I assumed she’d been living with her parents. “My mother is staying with me at the moment. I can sympathise.”

  She led the way back into the lounge where she curled up, cat-like on the end of the sofa. “You’re the radio girl, aren’t you? The one who collapsed at the abseil?”

  “Yep, that’s me.” I know I wanted to be famous but I’d rather it was for something other than making a complete tit of myself on local radio.

  “My hairdresser had it on in the salon. Normally they have Radio Two but I told them my brother was covering the event for the paper so they changed channel. It sounded very dramatic.” She flashed me a sympathetic smile.

  Of course no self-respecting trendy salon would normally be tuned in to Live it Up. “I don’t know. I was out cold. The first thing I knew about it was when I woke up in hospital. It was my own fault. I’m scared of heights, I mean completely terrified and my friend had given me some of her sedatives to try and relax me. I didn’t read the instructions properly and as she’d had them for ages I assumed they weren’t very potent.”

  Tash took a sip from her mug. “It’s a good job Ben was there; he’s great in a crisis.”

  “Yeah, except now he seems to have it in his head that I’m some kind of junkie in denial.
”

  To my surprise Tash flushed to the roots of her blonde hair. “He’s quite sensitive about drug misuse. I er, I got into a spot of trouble last year and well, he’s my big brother.”

  I guess Tash’s confession explained a lot. “I often wish I’d had a brother or sister.”

  She smiled. “I’m often torn between loving Ben and wanting to kill him.” Her smile faded. “Then again after what happened to him a few months back, I’m glad he’s still here.”

  I desperately wanted to know what she meant. Clearly something major had happened in Ben’s life, something life threatening. Before I could think how to ask in a way that didn’t seem downright nosy she jumped up from the sofa.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Please forget I mentioned it, he gets terribly cross if I bring it up.”

  “Of course.” I finished my coffee. I was going to be in so much trouble with Merv if I stayed any longer and Tash was clearly wishing me gone, now.

  “Thanks for the coffee. Pop downstairs to my flat any time if you want company. You might save me from murdering my mother.” I stood my mug on the coffee table and scrambled to my feet.

  After saying goodbye to Tash I jogged downstairs to my car pondering the info she’d given me about her brother. Maybe he’d been ill, had cancer or something or been in an accident. I’d have to try and do some subtle fishing for info.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket before I’d even started the engine.

  A familiar refrain hit my eardrum as soon as I pressed the green button. “Lark, get your arse over here.”

  “I’m on my way, Merv. Just collecting some research material.” Bum, busted.

  “Save the excuses, you’re late – again! Steph has a ton of work for you to get through so stop messing about.” He rang off.

  I joined the stream of traffic heading into town muttering under my breath all the while. That was the part of my job that I hated. Steph treated me like a lapdog. No doubt she’d had some icky and boring ideas that I was supposed to research and then go out and capture interviews and info for her to use on her show over the next week.