Gabrielle's Discipline (Bridal Discipline Book 3)
Page 16
"Would you like to meet my hounds today?" Felix asked, his voice boyishly eager.
It amused Gabrielle how such a foreboding looking man could even look or sound boyish, but he did on a regular basis. Gabrielle rather liked both sides of his personality - the sweet, more boyish side, and the stern authoritarian, even if the latter did spank her. The spankings hadn't been so bad, even though they'd hurt, because of what had followed after.
Warmth. Comfort. The feeling of being loved. Even though he hadn't said it, even if he didn't yet, Gabrielle would do her best to see that he would.
So of course, there was only one answer that she could give him.
"Yes, of course."
Her husband beamed at her and she smiled back, happy with his happiness. Even if she wasn't very interested in dogs, it wouldn't hurt her to show an interest in his passions. Mentally, Gabrielle started making a list of things she could do for Felix. Visit his dogs as often as he wanted, let him teach her how to ride (not that she was disinterested, but she didn’t feel a burning need), ensure that the cook made his favorite meals regularly… she was sure that Taylor would know Felix’s preferences for liquor. At the very least, she could ensure whatever household they were in was well stocked.
Happy to have a plan, Gabrielle found herself smiling even more broadly as she accompanied him down to the kennel.
******
Keeping an eye on Gabrielle to ensure that she wasn't putting too much weight on her ankle, Felix couldn't help but grin at the way she was cooing over the half-grown pups of his bitch's latest litter. She hadn't been adverse to coming to see his dogs, but she hadn't been particularly enthusiastic either. That had changed the moment she'd met the young litter. They were out of their puppy stage, but still awkwardly adorable with oversized paws and legs that made them look as though they were flopping about while they played. Gabrielle, leaning on the cane she was now using to assist her ankle while she walked, laughed as they gamboled around her, holding out her hand to whatever eager pup came up for attention.
"Did you ever see Philip's hounds?' he asked, a bit curious about her reaction.
Gabrielle scratched one of the pups behind his ears, making his eyes cross with pleasure as his tail thumped the ground. "No. He never brought them in the house and I didn't think go to looking for them." She laughed as one of the dogs started to chase her own tail, going round and round in circles. "I didn't realize they'd be so entertaining or I might have asked to. Well, if I'd had the time. Debuting in London was very busy."
"I can only imagine," he said, leaning back against the fencing as he watched her. Her father must not have had hounds, although he didn't want to ask her, certain that it would be the quick death of her good mood. Felix was learning. It was a bit frustrating sometimes, trying to glean information about her past without actually asking any direct questions, but she dropped plenty of hints even if she never spoke of it outright.
After a bit, he insisted they go back up to the house so she could rest her ankle, challenging her to another game of chess and promising that they could come back to visit on the morrow. Although her ankle was healing quickly and didn't seem to pain her, he didn't want her to overdo it. She started to protest that she was fine, but desisted when he gave her a significant look, trying to express - without directly threatening her - that he was not going to take no for an answer.
He was more than a little pleased with she acquiesced without a fuss, just a sigh as she put her hand on his arm and allowed him to lead her back to the house. After all, he didn't want to have to threaten to spank her for every small thing, although he would if he had to. Fortunately she seemed to be making an effort to placate his anxieties over her recovery.
******
Their days were slow and lazy, and filled with each other's company. Gabrielle's ankle slowly healed, under Felix's careful observation, and he made sure she received plenty of rest each day, even as she wanted to push herself further. He only had to threaten to spank her once, when she wanted to go back to the creek before he thought she was ready for such a long walk. After pouting, she'd given up on trying to force the issue and let him have his way. He more than made it up to her by showering her with affection and attention, and then bringing the servants' children to play with her inside one afternoon, so that she didn't have to go to them.
Gabrielle's letters went out and were returned, always with more news from the capital. Arabella was her most faithful correspondent, always quick to return a letter, and it was clear that she was missing her friend at the events. More and more of her letters were full of complaints about the false friendships other young ladies tried to form with her, only to immediately throw over her company or betray her confidences to the Duke. She also received letters from Lady Hyde and Viscountess Petersham, the latter was also in the country, as she had reached the time of her confinement. Although they had not been able to strike up a true friendship while in London, it appeared that the Viscountess was rather bored with confinement and waiting for her baby to be born, so she was writing anyone and everyone that she knew. From the tone of her letter, it sounded as though she hoped they could become good friends in the future.
The second letter Gabrielle received from Cordelia was very different from the first. It was addressed to both Felix and Gabrielle, and seemed rather conciliatory. Gabrielle felt a thrill of triumph that Cordelia had been forced to back away from her closeness with Felix, and he certainly didn't seem bothered by it at all. Although he'd add a post script to each of her letters to Cordelia, it was never overly familiar and it was usually addressed more to Cordelia's husband than to herself. It filled Gabrielle with smug glee every time she sent a letter to Cordelia now, knowing that the ties between her stepmother and her husband were slowly being cut away while the ties between her and Felix were growing.
Their nights were filled with loving and passion. As her ankle healed, Felix showed her more and more ways that they could find pleasure together. He introduced her to perverse decadence, setting her kneeling on a cushion while he thrust his cock in and out of her mouth, until his seed spilled on her tongue and she swallowed it. He bent her over and took her from behind, like a stallion riding a mare during breeding season. Several times he didn't bother to wait until the evening, putting her on whatever reasonably comfortable flat surface he could find and turning her into a mindless creature of need before spending both of their passions and leaving her breathless and limp.
In return, she became bolder about kissing him and touching him during the day. Teasing him and flirting with him, leaning forward to show off her bosom or lifting her skirts to reveal the pale skin of her legs. And he would leer and then she would let him chase her - not running, of course, because of her ankle, but by making him seduce her before she would give in. She didn't know if this was what Cynthia had meant by making him chase her, but she thought it might be.
Felix was delighted by his bride and the progression of their relationship. Coming to the country and sending away his parents had been the right thing to do. His only complaint was that as slow as the days were, they were still somehow going by far too quickly. He didn't want to return to reality and the social scene.
But, of course, such a thing was unavoidable. However, his desire to ignore the upcoming end to their break from the real world turned out to be his worst decision yet.
******
Running her finger along the pink stationary with its curly handwriting, Gabrielle frowned. Reading their correspondence over breakfast had become a ritual for her and Felix, one that she normally enjoyed greatly. It was time spent in companionable silence; a time for solitary thought while still being together. She thought it was a lovely way to start the day. At least, it had been until now, because now she was thinking that perhaps there were some important discussions that they should have been having.
"Felix... why does Cordelia say that she's looking forward to seeing us next week?" Gabrielle kept her tone even, blocking out her
rising anxiety as well as her anger that, if such a thing were true, she should have known about it already.
If Felix had invited Cordelia and Philip to come and visit, cracking their idyllic existence on the estate, without telling her, Gabrielle was going to be hard pressed not to throw something at him. Possibly the eggs on her plate. On the other hand, if it were the opposite, and she and Felix were returning to London next week, she was probably still going to want to throw something at him. Felix hadn't spoken of an end to their honeymoon, and Gabrielle had started to think that they would just stay here until next Season.
After all, whenever she told him how much Arabella missed her, he murmured sympathetic noises but he certainly never told her to write and reassure her friend that she would be returning soon.
"Ah, Philip must have told her," Felix said absently, his attention still on his newspaper.
Gabrielle smacked her hand against the table with a loud bang, making one of the footmen jump while Felix finally looked up in surprise, his startled eyes meeting hers.
"Philip must have told her what?" she asked, displeasure sliding through her voice, despite the extreme civility with which she asked the question. Her green eyes narrowed as the hurt and disappointment in her chest contracted. Gabrielle pushed the emotions away, packing them into a little ball and squeezing it smaller and smaller until it was all gone and the inside of her body was just a vast expanse of emptiness.
Emptiness was easily filled by other emotions. She just had to decide which one she'd prefer to feel.
Her husband blinked at her, completely baffled. Truly, throwing the eggs might be too good for him. Maybe she should just impale him on her fork tines.
"That we'll be returning to London next week."
"We will?"
Another blink. "Well, yes. We can't stay here for the entire Season." Now his tone was almost patronizing, as if she should have realized it.
Anger filled the emptiness inside of her. Anger, tantamount to fury. If there was one thing Gabrielle had perfected in her life, it was throwing a tantrum. Decorum be damned.
On the other hand, she didn't want a spanking. Not when she was wrapped in justified, perfectly righteous anger. So instead of throwing her plate at him or stabbing him with her fork, she just gripped the utensil lightly and let her eyes shoot daggers.
"Don't you think that perhaps you should have told me that? I had no idea that we were returning to London next week."
"There's still plenty of time to pack," he muttered, his gaze falling back down to his paper. As handsome as he was, as foreboding as he could look, right now he resembled a naughty schoolboy more than anything else.
"Yes, because of course needing to pack would be the only reason I would want to know where I'll be living next week. And where will we be living, Mr. Hood?" His eyes were back on her now and he winced. "I assume you have a residence all set up? Or shall I be kept in the dark until we arrive? Perhaps I should ask Cordelia if she knows, since she seems to be much more abreast of the situation than myself."
A second wince had Gabrielle in a raging fury. Cordelia did know. Cordelia knew and she, Gabrielle, his wife and the person who would actually be living there, didn't.
Standing up she looked down her nose at him as she gathered up her letters. "I see," she said, fuming.
"Gabrielle-"
Ignoring him, she swept quickly out the door, her legs moving as fast as they could because if she stayed there she was going to scream or cry or beat him about the head with the centerpiece. Thank goodness her ankle had finally fully healed, or she would have never been able to get away. As she moved down the hall she could hear his chair scraping across the floor as he realized that she wasn't going to respond.
"Gabrielle, come back here!"
Practically running, she made it all the way to her room, where she barricaded herself in, locking both locks before throwing herself face down on her bed and let herself finally cry. She didn't care if it was dramatic. The anger had only bolstered her for a few minutes and then the hurt had set in; jagged edges of pain that pushed aside her ire and made it feel like she'd physically been stabbed.
All these days together, all this time, and nothing had really changed. Somehow she still had no control over her life, and he hadn't even talked to her about it! Just like he hadn't talked to her before sending his parents away, and he'd been sorry then, and he might be sorry now, but it didn't matter if he was never going to change how he behaved, did it? She'd been trying so hard, agreeing to all his suggestions, happily indulging in their pleasurable passions, and doing everything she could to make him happy. She'd thought that his regard for her had grown. That she mattered to him.
A knock on her door had her pulling her pillow more tightly against her, using it to muffle her sobs. Gabrielle had no problem crying when throwing a tantrum or when she was using her tears to get her away, but she didn't want him to see her like this. Vulnerable. Hurt. She didn't want him to know how much she cared. To guess that she loved him. Because it would just give him more power over her... better that he not know, so that he couldn't use it.
"Gabrielle, I'm sorry," he said, sounding just as sincere as he had when he'd sent his parents away. "I should have told you. I just didn't like to think about having to go back, so I didn't want to talk about it."
She didn't respond, curling into a tighter ball and wallowing in her resentment and misery. As if his excuse mattered, or even truly made sense. Telling her wouldn't change it. All it did was make her realize that he saw her as a chess piece, to be moved where he willed, without consultation or consideration. Perhaps trying to be an agreeable bride had allowed him to think that he could take her for granted. Perhaps giving him everything he asked for made him think that he didn't need to ask. Or perhaps her need to please him had just made him think she would do whatever he wanted and there was no need to even speak to her about anything of importance.
Cynthia was right. It was better to have him chase her. At least then he wouldn't be so sure of her that he would move her about, willy-nilly, without so much as a by-your-leave.
In fact, it gave her rather savage satisfaction to listen to him pacing back and forth outside of her door, muttering to himself. She let that satisfaction and her hurt harden her heart as he started begging at her door again. This would teach him!
******
Maybe he shouldn't have sent his mother away.
Felix glared at the thick wooden slab keeping him away from his wife. At least it was a different wooden slab than the one he'd spent the day glaring at. Now he could do it from the comfort of his own bedroom. His lonely, empty bedroom with his lonely, empty bed.
During one of his more manic moments during the day, he'd considered breaking down one of the doors into Gabrielle's room. Or tricking her into admitting him along with the maids who brought her meals. But that wasn't going to make her less upset with his gaffe. And he was inclined to let her anger run its course.
Eventually she'd become bored in there and have to come out and speak with him, right?
Besides, he didn't want to force his presence on her. He wanted her to want his presence. He wanted to know that he was forgiven.
All afternoon he'd paced the hallway outside of her door, except when he left to eat. He'd hoped both times that she'd come and join him. Instead, she'd run the bell for the maid and requested a tray be brought to her. So Felix had eaten his meals completely alone, feeling utterly bereft.
He'd grown used to Gabrielle's constant companionship. Her keen wit, her enthusiastic observations, even her silences. Gabrielle was not a woman who had to constantly fill the silence with chatter; she was perfectly happy to just sit with him while they attended to their own entertainments. It was strangely intimate and incredibly enjoyable, and he'd gone and ruined simply because he didn't want to have to talk about or plan returning to London until the last possible moment.
Once again, he hadn't thought about how that might upset her. Since his p
arents had left, she'd become so agreeable about doing whatever he wanted, when he suggested it, that he hadn't been thinking. Again. This was the second time he had done this to her.
It had been a long, long time since he'd had to consult anyone but himself about his decisions. Since his parents were always thrilled to have their offspring in the house, he didn't even have to do more than send a note that he was on his way when he wanted to visit. His mother always made room for him. When he wanted to be in London, he was, when he wanted to be in the countryside, he could go there too. If he had the hankering to up and visit the Continent, he'd only need to pack his suitcase.
He'd known that he couldn't bring Gabrielle back to Jermyn Street - it was a street full of bachelors, rakes, and other wild, young hellions. Not the kind of place any bride belonged. Philip and Felix's brothers had been keeping their ears to the ground for a house to let in a respectable neighborhood - not an easy task in the middle of the Season. Felix was incredibly lucky that Philip had learned of one, so that he and Gabrielle wouldn't have to resort to living in a hotel. Which, of course, he must have mentioned to Cordelia and he must have told her when Felix was planning on being in residence.
While it wasn't the best of excuses in the world, it was a true one. Felix was unused of having to consider anyone but himself, and he hadn't wanted to think about the end of his honeymoon, so he hadn't. Obviously he needed to change some of his habits if he was going to be a good husband. Gabrielle wasn't going to be content to just follow where he went, at least not without some conversation first.
He had a feeling he was going to learn his lesson much more soundly this time, he thought, morosely studying his empty bed. The last time he'd had to apologize, it had been subsumed by her immediate transgressions, and so the focus had shifted to Gabrielle and her need for a spanking. This time, she hadn't displayed any behavior he could spank her for. She'd behaved exactly the way a lady should.