Shadows Within (The Dark Mind Trilogy Book 2)

by Matthew Goldstein

  “I'll help!” Amy called, hurrying to catch up with her.

  “I should probably go help too,” Cole said to no one in particular.

  “Too many chefs in the kitchen,” Mr. Williams said. “Sit down. I'd like to have a chat with you.”

  Cole's forehead crinkled but he took a seat. “What about?”

  Mr. Williams pushed up his glasses and crossed his legs, then looked straight into Cole's face. “I know you're her best friend, and more, and I know you helped her get through the terrible tragedy. I hope you know she is thankful for that, as am I.”

  Cole shifted in his seat. “She told you that?”

  “She did. She's very open and isn't ashamed of much. She's an exceptional girl and I'm glad you're there for her.”

  “Of course,” Cole said, not sure what else he could add.

  “Anyway, since you're a large part of her life, I wanted to get to know you better. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable with boring, personal questions. I don't believe that's how you truly get to know a person. Have you ever flown a model airplane?”

  Cole shook his head, eyes wide, and Mr. Williams stood. “Come,” Mr. Williams said and led the way to a small study. Wooden shelves lined the two walls adjacent to the door and against the far wall was a wooden desk. Covering the shelves and the top of the desk were parts for model airplanes, glue and a few completed ones.

  Cole looked in amazement at the array of pieces. He stepped up to the most intricate of the completed airplanes and inspected it, his nose mere inches away. “Do you think I could fly one of these sometime? I'll be really careful.”

  “Exactly what I was going to suggest.” Mr. Williams watched Cole with amusement. “How's this weekend?”

  Darryl came careening back to his mind, and he hoped Mr. Williams did not notice his sudden apprehension. Yeah, if I can fit it into my busy schedule of murder. “I think my mom had plans. I'll tell Amy to let you know.”

  “Works for me.”

  Cole turned towards Mr. Williams. “Amy never mentioned this. Has she ever flown one?”

  “She does not appear to share your interest. Shame really. I had looked forward to sharing it, since my wife also does not care for it.”

  “I can help you out there. I can't believe she doesn't want to do this. It's so awesome and I thought she liked everything.”

  “There is a never-ending list of things to learn about someone. I've been married almost twenty years and I am still surprised by Sarah.”

  Cole was thoughtful a moment, considering. “Mr. Williams? Do you know Amy had it pretty rough? Y'know, before the accident.”

  Mr. Williams stroked his chin. “She doesn't like to talk much about them. It was still fairly recent. So no, I didn't know. Rough how?”

  “They were abusive, which is why I'm so glad she ended up with you. And, uh, if you don't mind me asking, why did you never have kids of your own?”

  “That is quite the loaded question.” Mr. Williams took a seat, and smoothed his hair back.

  Cole knew he had touched a nerve. “I'm sorry. Never mind.”

  “No, it's all right, Cole. It's good to be open. Many years ago, Sarah's sister got pregnant and Sarah was absolutely thrilled. Sarah always loved babies and she couldn't wait to be an aunt. She helped plan out every little detail for the new baby and they had a whole bedroom ready to go months in advance.” He paused.

  “I think I know where this is going,” Cole said. “That must have been awful.”

  “Yeah, I think in some ways the miscarriage devastated Sarah even more than her sister. Eventually her sister moved on and had another child but Sarah couldn't. She was so afraid of a miscarriage that she used birth control for years. She kept flip-flopping back and forth between wanting to try for a child and not. The worst part was, she desperately wanted children but didn't want to adopt because she kept thinking she was about to overcome her fear. Finally, we agreed to try foster care.”

  “Wow.” The room was silent while Cole processed the wealth of information.

  “Perhaps I should not have dumped all that on you.”

  “No, it's fine, really. That sounds tough. I'm sorry.”

  “Don't be sorry. It's life. Everyone has problems. It's what you make of it. And without all that happening, I would never have met you or Amy. On a new subject, did you see any good movies lately?”

  “I don't see movies very often,” Cole said. “I read books.”

  “In that case, read any good books lately?”

  “Not really. My favorite is Les Miserables.”

  “Oh, that is a fantastic book! Did you read it for school?”

  “No, I just like it.”

  They discussed the book until they were called for dinner. As they left the study, Mr. Williams said, “And hey, Cole, call me Sam.”

  Cole smiled and nodded. “Will do.”

  Mr. Williams was quiet during dinner while Mrs. Williams and Amy carried the conversation, but Cole was intrigued by his thoughtful expression as he listened to others talk, weighing each word carefully. Cole left that night with a sense of longing for the father he never had.

  “Did you have a good time?” Meredith said as he climbed into her waiting car that night.

  “Actually, yeah,” Cole said. “Sam is really cool. He has a model airplane collection and said I could fly one sometime. And he loves Les Mis!”

  “Really?! Sounds like you have a new friend. You even started calling him Sam. Gonna start going over there to see him rather than Amy?” She smirked and put the car into gear.

  “Ha, not likely, although somehow Amy doesn't like model airplanes so she might not come. So, well, at least once, maybe.” He laughed, but became suddenly serious. “It's really great Amy has them now. Maybe it was for the best what happened to her parents.”

  Meredith stole a glance in his direction. “That's an awkward topic. You should never wish ill on anyone, no matter how bad.”

  “Yeah, I know, but...” He trailed off, feeling like an inconsiderate jerk now.

  A short time after they arrived home, the doorbell rang. Cole looked at the clock, wondering who could be calling at nine o'clock on a weeknight. He peered around the corner to the front door when his mom answered, and his stomach dropped at the sight of Darryl with his mother.

  Oh no. He did see me.

  Cole sauntered to the front door, hoping to seem casual. “Hey, Darryl. What's up?” He could gather nothing from the blank expression on Darryl's face.

  “Hey, got a minute?”

  Meredith beckoned them inside. “Of course.”

  “You want to talk in the other room?” Cole said to Darryl.

  “Yeah.”

  The two of them left the adults behind, convening in the library.

  “How's it going?” Cole said, figuring he'd play the innocent card.

  Darryl's eyes drifted to the floor, a sullenness written on his face. “I talked to Travis' mom.”

  “Wha-?” It took a second to register as his brain switch gears from the conversation he had been expecting. Now a fear gripped him as he waited for Darryl to continue.

  Darryl took a deep breath. “She backed up everything you said. You did not nothing wrong. Sorry for doubting you.”

  “She what?” Cole could not believe his ears. “But she hated me. Why would she say anything to help me?”

  “I don't know. She seems pretty broken. Now that Travis is gone and it's all had a chance to sink in, she said she no longer harbors any bad feelings. She feels fully responsible.”

  Cole sank into a chair, surprised by the guilt and sorrow in his throat, and unable to speak.

  “Would you wanna hang out sometime?” Darryl said.

  “Wh-” Cole sputtered for the third time. I can't deal with this. What is happening? “You want to hang out with me? Why?”

  “I don't know exactly. You knew him at the end and I kinda wanted to talk about it. I guess I'm hoping it will help me get past him. These last few
months have been rough.” His eyes teared up and he wiped them with his sleeve.

  The last thing I want to do is get to know you better. How can I possibly go through with this? He's just an innocent kid. But if I don't jump now, I may never get another opportunity. “Yeah, that sounds good. What are you up to tomorrow?” He tried to keep his voice steady but it betrayed him.

  “Thanks, man.” Darryl sniffed. “Tomorrow should be good. Do you want to call me?”

  “Let's meet at my favorite smoothie place. We can talk over some delicious smoothies. Four o'clock good?”

  “That sounds awesome. I'll check with my mom right now.” Darryl hung his head. “And hey, sorry again. I hope your voices aren’t too much for you. I know…” His voice cracked and he took a deep breath to compose himself. “…Travis had a lot of trouble with them at times. You seem like a cool guy. Good luck.”

  Cole could only manage a croak in response as Darryl, unable to hold in his tears, fled the room. Cole stood there for a long time, feeling empty and lost. After the sounds of the front door closing, his mother entered the room.

  “What was that all about?” she said. “Darryl asked if he could go to a smoothie place tomorrow and then left in tears. What did you say to him?”

  “I'm going to see him after school tomorrow, if that's okay. He's all broken up and wants to talk about it.”

  “I can understand that. Poor kid lost his best friend. That's very generous of you. You sure you'll be all right?” Cole nodded and she paused. “Oh, brother. We need to lift our spirits. Want to go out for some ice cream?”

  “That sounds perfect.”

  As he laid in bed that night, his thoughts drifted to his conversation with Darryl about Travis' mother. He pictured her alone in a jail cell, wallowing away into oblivion with nothing to look forward to if she ever got out. His memory of her at the trial still brought a chill, but despite everything, he found himself feeling mainly pity. It was a fate he wished upon no one, and so far after the fact, he understood her state of mind and motivation. He no longer blamed her for any of her actions. She was put into an impossible situation and snapped, as many mothers would.

  His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden flashback. He was viewing Travis' mother and father from below through the slats of a crib.

  “Sue, this is crazy!” Peter said. “You know it's not like that with us. And you know I would never dream of cheating on you.”

  “You say that now,” Sue said, “but I don't think she feels that way. How long before she starts to change your mind?”

  “How many times do I have to tell you? It's not like that!”

  “Then what's it like?”

  “We're really good friends. We have fun.”

  “Yeah, I heard that one before. Except that she just got divorced.”

  “So what?” Peter said.

  “So you think that's a coincidence? They just happen to get divorced at a time like this?”

  “They got divorced because she told him...” Peter drifted off and broke eye contact with his wife.

  “She told him what?”

  Peter rubbed his hands over his face. “I need you to be open-minded. More open-minded than Meredith's husband. Ex-husband.”

  “Peter, you're worrying me. Just tell me.”

  “I need to show you something. But first I need to explain it.”

  Cole snapped back to the present, and as he oriented himself he struggled to wrap his mind around the implications of the memory. However, before he could give it much thought, he was distracted by an indecipherable but undeniable angry murmuring in his head, and the memory faded as though a dream. It was as if an argument was raging. He turned over, trying to block out the voices, but they were just loud enough that he could not ignore them. Not wanting to enter his mind and listen to the voices, he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, wishing they would stop. Instead, they only got louder. Another few minutes passed with no sign of a conclusion when there was an outburst in an angry, growling voice loud enough for Cole hear clearly.

  RULES ARE RULES.

  Silence.

  Cole sat up, unsettled by the shout and the eery nothingness that followed it. As much as he wanted to know what was going on, he had sworn he would never enter his own mind again. He did not trust those voices. When there were no further murmurings, he eventually drifted off to sleep.

  15

  Cole sat in Biology the next day, holding Amy’s hand under the table and listening to their teacher, Mr. Harris, explain a new project they would be working on.

  “The great thing about this project,” Mr. Harris said, “is that you’re going to be working in pairs, and because I want to mix things up in your first month, you are not allowed to work with the person sitting next to you.”

  Cole and Amy exchanged exasperated looks.

  “Who knew sitting next to each other could backfire?” Amy whispered.

  “This is stupid,” Cole whispered back. “Why do all the freshman teachers here think they’re in charge of icebreakers like we’re a sleep-away camp?”

  Amy chuckled, drawing a look from the teacher.

  “That is exactly why I’m doing this,” Mr. Harris said. “Thank you, Amy, for that example. Okay everyone, you have five minutes before the end of class to find a partner. Go.”

  Most of the class bolted to their feet, but Cole and Amy took their time.

  “Well, guess I’ll see you later,” Amy said. “I'd better go claim Alexia before she gets taken.”

  Cole stood there by himself while the class milled around, glancing at each peer in turn and realizing how far he still had to go before becoming truly social. Of course Amy knows other people in this class. She talks to everyone but I only talk to her and Martin’s posse. Why can’t one of Martin’s thousand friends be in this class? This sucks. His eyes wandered, landing on the one person in the class who had actually spoken to him, the girl who had asked to sit next to him on the first day. Is that a good idea?

  Having a girlfriend, he had little fear going up to her, but unfortunately, she was already talking to another girl. Cole stood there in indecision, but as soon as the girl noticed him watching, she interrupted her conversation and gave him a shy smile.

  “Hi,” she said evenly.

  Why not? “Hey, Michelle,” he said as he approached her, recalling her name from the teacher calling on her. “I was just looking around for a partner but you have one so don't worry about it.”

  Michelle glanced at the other girl and then back to Cole. “No, it's fine. I don't have a partner yet. She already partner with someone else.”

  The other girl shook her head and walked away.

  “Great,” Cole said, missing the hint altogether. “Would you want to be mine?”

  Michelle smirked. “Yes, I would like to be yours.”

  Cole thought there was something odd about her tone, but he ignored it. “Perfect. When do you want to start working on it?”

  “Whenever. What’s your number?” She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket.

  “I don’t have a cell phone.” And I don’t want to hear what my mom will say if another person starts calling me at home. She’ll be so proud she’ll never let me hear the end of it. “We can just talk in school.”

  “It would be good to have each other’s numbers, just in case. What's your house number?”

  Cole bit his lip. “My mom is kind of annoying so please don’t call unless you absolutely have to. In general, I’ll just call you.” He recited his number for her as she entered it into her phone. “One sec.” He returned to his desk, withdrawing a pen and a piece of paper and handing it to Michelle. “You can write yours on here.”

  Michelle wrote her number down and handed it back to Cole. “Great,” Michelle said. “Let me know when you want to work.”

  The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

  “It's nice to finally officially meet you,” Michelle said, her smile growing.

  “Col
e?”

  Cole registered Amy by his side, who sidled up close to him and took his hand in hers.

  Amy looked Michelle up and down. “Hi,” Amy said.

  “I was just going,” Michelle said. “Bye, Cole. Looking forward to working with you.”

  Amy watched her go.“You're working with her?” she said.

  “Yeah. She seems nice enough.” Cole pulled Amy towards the door. “Come on, we're gonna be late.”

  “How did you end up working with her? I've never seen you two speak.”

  “She spoke to me on the first day, which is more than anyone else in that class. Do you have a problem with her?”

  Amy shook her head. “No, it's just, well... I get the feeling she likes you.”

  Cole's brow furrowed. “That's ridiculous.”

  “Why is that ridiculous? Is it ridiculous that I like you?”

  “No it's not that. I guess it just never occurred to me. But I think you have it all wrong. She must know you're my girlfriend. I'm sure she just wants to be friends. With her looks, she must have no shortage of guys.”

  “That's comforting,” Amy mumbled, too low for Cole to hear, and squeezed his hand tighter.

  When school let out, Cole gathered his courage, drew a few breaths, and prepared to put his plan into action. He said goodbye to Amy, telling her he was waiting for his mother, and after she had gone, headed off to the smoothie shop. Even though he had told Darryl it was his favorite place, in reality he had only been there once. He had chosen it because it was close enough to walk to from school, and it was a place to which he wouldn't mind never returning. He found the shop without difficulty, but upon seeing it in before him, it all suddenly started to feel real. It was no longer a distant hypothetical, something with which he could stay detached within his imagination. It was now something he would have to actually do within the next hour. It was one thing to think about it, and quite another to follow through. His hands were shaking as he gripped the door handle and he stood there, unsuccessfully attempting to steady his breath.

  “Just do it. You have to do it,” he mumbled to himself.

  “Um, excuse me, can I go in?”