Celtic Evil: A Fitzgerald Brother Novel: Roarke
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Maggie wondered if he was really so hard core that this wasn’t bothering him, but then she watched him kneel down to hold onto their brother and saw his fingers brush his face gently.
“Hold onto him and watch his powers,” Mac warned, hoping he could do this.
Taking a deep breath to cleanse his thoughts and center himself, Mac opened the channel of his powers, but this time centered them on healing his little brother.
Kerry knew the danger this posed to all of them but focused his powers on soothing his brother’s pain so he’d be calm through the worst of this. “Rest, Roarke,” he spoke mentally but felt the pain and fear grow.
Laying on his stomach on the floor so Mac had full access to the worst of the wounds, Roarke twisted in pain and fear but strong hands held him still as Mac’s gentle hands touched the wounds and things sparked.
Mac Fitzgerald felt the nauseous feeling of just touching these wounds but fought to push that down. “With the power I was granted, I ask those who have gone before to guide me to heal what were stricken,” he spoke lowly in his Irish; his eyes going dark to full smoke as his powers built and a soft glow began forming under his hands.
Roarke groaned in the pain as the healing spell slowly worked on the now festering wounds. “No… don’t hurt...” his voice strained as he moaned.
“Yuck,” Ian muttered after looking to see his brother’s wounds but tightened his grip to keep his hold. “It’s almost over, Roarke,” he promised, using the tone he’d heard Sybil use when soothing him as a child.
Ryan wasn’t so sure of that when he saw how Mac was struggling to contain the now boiling injuries, and their brother was getting paler.
Increasing his hold slightly since he didn’t want to hurt his brother more, Ryan placed his other hand over Mac’s, meeting his eyes silently.
“He needs you all,” Maggie was quiet as she gripped Mac’s arm, finally understanding. “Your strength, the strength of the Five, has always been in your unity.”
“That was broken when we were broke up,” Ian saw her point, shifting his position so he could free one hand and lay it on his brother’s, feeling the warmth.
Kerry watched this, pleased that his brothers were realizing this as he reached into his father’s worn leather satchel.
He had seen his father use various herbs and other things in this bag to help others when sick or when he needed to cast a spell. Right then he was hoping it would have something to use to help heal his brother.
Reaching in, he felt for a second, then his fingers touched a small round tin, which he brought out. The salve can looked old but something told him it was vital as he opened it, took some on his fingers and rubbed it on a large oozing bite on Roarke’s shoulder.
The black haired Irishman’s body bucked violently as the salve seemed to hiss on his wound, but once they got him calmed again, the wound wasn’t oozing again. In fact, it seemed to be closing.
“Hold him,” Mac snapped voice tight as he strained to heal. “Kerry, whatever that is, use it on the rest of them then we can finish healing.”
Maggie held a hand out for the tin, knowing it would take all four of them to control their brother and do the final healing.
Ignoring the awful smell, she began laying the salve on the bite marks and claw marks on his shoulders, back and arms where she could reach, watching as the boiling wounds began to heal with hissing pain.
“C’mon, brat, it’s fine.” Ryan ignored the pain he felt and struggled to keep his brother still.
Kerry caught Mac’s eyes and understood as he placed a hand over Ian’s. “We are of the Five, born into the power from the power of generations long gone,” he recited the words easily.
“We seek to protect one of our own as he was protected years gone by, by those who sought to protect us.” Mac’s eyes flashed as his hands spread the warm glow over his brother’s back, allowing it to spread over him.
“As is our right from birth and blood, we use the gifts given to us to heal and protect this boy from injuries suffered from evil born of darkness.” Ryan felt the breeze coming in the window pick up and the power connecting them increase.
This was new for Ian but as he paused to think of what he was supposed to say, the words seemed to come to him. “Heal our brother so the Five can be formed as we protect what is ours now and what will be,” he quoted, eyes changing as the power grew.
Maggie had seen magic in use since she’d been a child but nothing prepared her for this sight as she kept silent, watching as the candlelight around the room grew into a wall of blue flame.
“Blessed be.” With the closing quote to end the spell, the blue flames busted into pure white light, Roarke’s final cry of anguish stopped and he went limp from exhaustion and exertion.
Mac felt Maggie’s gentle hands on him when he let himself fall backwards as the winds and light dimmed. “It’s like I said once before, Doc. You do show a girl a good time,” she whispered in his ear, resting her head on his shoulder.
Kerry was gentle as he ran a hand over his brother’s back, pleased to see there were only slight marks from these wounds, but not liking that none of the other scars had faded even a little.
“Some of those should have been taken away,” Ryan muttered, eyes slitting. “Why weren’t they?”
“Possible they can’t be until he deals with the guilt and shame and anger he has,” Kerry replied, easing Roarke onto his back on the floor to see his face had relaxed some and the claw marks on his arms had gone.
Ian had gone to get a pillow and blanket from the leather sofa in the room, but Kerry shook his head to wait as he and Ryan got their brother onto the sofa.
“Roarke, wake up,” Kerry spoke quietly, sitting next to the younger man on the sofa and letting Maggie and his brothers deal with getting Mac onto his feet.
“I think Young’s mystic is still here,” Ryan smirked at his brother but reached for a small shot glass to pour whiskey into. “Better have him look at you.”
Mac took the liquor with a single hiss then let his eyes cross as it burned all the way down. “The day I need a bloody O’Malley brother to look at me is the day I retire from practicing,” he shot back, looking up as Maggie sat on the arm of the chair. “Thanks.”
“I didn’t do anything,” she seemed surprised by the honest depth she saw in his eyes.
“You did more than you think,” Mac replied quietly, looking as Ian nodded to the sofa.
Waking up after being hurt or getting knocked out was not one of Roarke Fitzgerald’s favorite things ever. This time was worse since the last thing he could recall was pain and terror, but mixed in with those memories were other things.
“Mum…don’t go,” he murmured sleepily, trying to reach out to grab his mother’s dress as she left him that last day. “Mummy, I’m sorry…”
His brothers exchanged looks as they realized what was happening. “Ah, hell,” Ryan muttered, starting to move when a single burning look from Kerry stopped him.
“It’s not your fault, Roarke,” Kerry assured him quietly, lightly touching his shoulder. “You couldn’t have stopped what happened that day. Mac, Ry and I should have been with you.”
Twisting violently, Roarke’s eyes suddenly snapped open to stare into Kerry’s. Gasping to breathe, he recalled the attack at the stables, the pain and…
“Where’s Jessica?” he finally got out, recalling her scream and remembering seeing her on the path.
As Ryan rolled his eyes at the first question, Ian sat a glass of water on the table in front of him. “She’s upstairs with Deirdre and Cam’s medic.”
“You’ll see her soon, lad,” Mac spoke without looking since he was trying to get the room to stop spinning.
Looking around the office, Roarke fought to place things in order then realized the wounds from the beast were gone, and then slowly realized his shirt was off.
“Roarke, listen,” Kerry’s tone was soft but even as he felt his brother go rigid. “It’s alright.
You’re safe.”
Jerking a sudden look at his oldest brother, Roarke saw what he hadn’t before. Kerry wasn’t asking how he got the scars because he already knew.
“I…I need to see…” he tried to stand but fell back on the couch and recoiled when Kerry went to steady him, as his memories and emotions were still high. “Don’t touch me.”
“Roarke, stop and listen to Kerry,” Mac really didn’t feel like this right then but halted as Kerry held up a hand.
“Ian, help Maggie get Mac up to his room or into the kitchen so he can get some rest,” he made the tone sound like a request but none of them doubted the firm command, especially as he shot a hard look at Ryan. “Go check and see if Cam and Peter need help.”
Expecting some resistance, Kerry was slightly surprised when he didn’t get any. Waiting until the door closed, he finally stood to give his brother space.
“You shouldn’t have been able to be attacked here so in part this was my fault,” he began slowly, closing the windows now and seeing his brother’s reflection.
“It’s me who should be dead. Nothing anyone can do to stop it if it’s meant to happen,” Roarke shrugged, his tone going quiet. “I knew if I told Jess how I felt it would doom her and it did.”
Kerry turned. “Neither of you are doomed. We’ll deal with everything one step, one day, at a time,” he vowed, watching from where he was standing as his brother eased to the edge of the couch. “We need to lay it all out from the day they died to finally to how all this started again.”
Roarke knew that but also knew his memories of that day could be spotty at best, but right then he wanted out of this room. It was closing in on him the longer it went.
“Deirdre always said to leave the windows open in the fall; that it airs out the house.” Kerry saw the way his brother was twisting his hands, could feel the almost his panic as he opened the windows again. “You never used to be bothered like that.”
A short snort was his reply. “Things change,” Roarke fought to keep the reason of his claustrophobia down but figured Kerry already had a suspicion. “What did Jess tell you, Kerry?” he asked finally, sounding tired.
“Actually, she didn’t tell me anything except a few basic things,” his brother replied, going to the desk to eye the bundle of letters. “I’m afraid that while trying to calm you down the first night here, I saw some things that didn’t take a genius to figure out.”
Silence filled the room except for a hesitant ‘Oh’ as Roarke shifted uneasily as if putting distance between himself and his brother. “Yeah, well time heals all wounds and all that rot.”
The light tone warned Kerry that it wouldn’t take much to the walls to break. “Does it?” he asked carefully, silently nearing Roarke and laying a hand on his back.
“Don’t, Roarke,” Kerry caught his arm when he whirled and held it when he would have jerked away. “You know you’re safe here.”
“I haven’t been safe anywhere except with Jessica since I was eleven bloody years old,” his brother gritted, sighing at the level look he was getting. “I cope with it, Kerry. Let it alone.”
Knowing it wasn’t that simple, Kerry did release the younger man’s arm and then simply waited since, as he recalled, Roarke needed to be the one to open up.
Wanting to go up, dress and then check on Jessica, Roarke had touched the knob to the office door when something made him pause and he mentally fought with himself until finally…
“Did you know?” he asked without looking.
“What?” Kerry sat on the desk edge and waited.
Roarke didn’t want this. He didn’t want to face this part of his past but suddenly needed to know this. He needed to understand.
“Did you know about it, Kerry?” he asked again, finally turning to his brother. “Did you know about what was going?”
“Roarke, I don’t expect you to believe me, but until the other night, I had no idea what you had gone through,” he replied honestly, staying where he was since Kerry knew now wasn’t the time to approach. “I didn’t know until I touched you and until Deirdre finally gave me these.”
He held out the bundle of letters, seeing his brother’s eyes narrow as he saw them. “If I had have known or even suspected what they were doing, what she had told them to do, I would have been in Mayo, you would have come home with me and those sadists would have hurt.”
The firm tones of his brother made Roarke look at him fully, feeling the emotion from him. The pain and anger that Kerry felt inside for what he believed he had allowed to happen to his younger brother.
“She said you were better off and that’s why you ignored my letters,” he stated softly, eyes on the letters, and didn’t see his brother’s eyes spark. “I always wondered.”
“You thought I didn’t care or that I blamed you for Mum and Da’s death,” Kerry guessed, being careful as he put the letters back on the desk so he could stand up. “I didn’t know, Roarke.”
Roarke shifted uneasily, finally going to look out the window; needing to focus on something else but he still felt the unspoken between them.
“I think I knew when she took me from here the last day that I probably would only return here in a box, if that,” he began slowly, looking at his hands. “The first week with the Walshes wasn’t too bad. I missed home; I missed you and the others. Hell, I even missed Ry but I had nightmares and I kept crying for you, for Mum and finally I was put out in the barn to sleep so I wouldn’t disturb the house.
Swallowing the sour taste in his mouth, he wasn’t aware when Kerry stepped up behind him. “The chores started the second week I was there. At first they were typical, but the longer it went the more chores I got, the harder they got while their kids stopped doing theirs. If a certain chore wasn’t done at a certain time, you didn’t eat,” he laughed dryly as he remembered. “Plenty of days and nights I only ate what I found in that barn.
“I believed what they said about me being slow, being stupid and everything else when the punishments started.” Roarke closed his eyes and nearly moved when he felt the hand on his shoulder but stayed still, needing this contact to get through what was to come. “The first beating came about 6 weeks after I arrived. I honestly don’t recall what it was for since it never mattered. They’d beat me for anything. I could breathe wrong and get beat. I started writing to you after the second one, asking to come home but I never heard anything.
“One day Gran showed up after they’d beat me up pretty bad and I thought she’d see and take me home, but she only nodded to Ida and told me that you had a new life and I was left to deal with what I’d caused,” he paused a second, unaware that he’d begun to shake.
Kerry didn’t move his hand when he felt the shoulder under it shaking. “You don’t need to do this, Roarke.”
“No matter what the Walshes or Gran said I kept writing, kept hoping you’d remember me and come for me but you never did,” Roarke fought to keep his voice even but couldn’t quite do it. “They limited my phone access and I was forbidden from ever calling you or Mac. I tried once and that was the first time they chained me in the barn and beat me. The first time I was…” he crossed his arms and felt his brother’s hand squeeze. “I was twelve or so then when they started…”
“Roarke, stop,” Kerry felt his emotions go edgier. “You don’t need to put yourself through this.”
Turning slightly to meet his older brother’s eyes, Roarke blinked and shook his head. “I knew I’d die and after they started selling me to neighbors or friends or them or their kids would rape me, beat me, I wanted to die but I held onto the smallest hope that you’d read a letter I sent or just come to see me.
“The day that Cam and Jess came, I’d been chained in the barn loft for a couple days. I was pretty out of it and only barely remember hearing Jessica talking to me as Cam yelled,” he shook his head. “When I came out of the shock, I was in London with them and knew I couldn’t tell you or the others ‘cause they said if I ever did, that what happened
to Mum and Da would happen to you guys, so I made the choice of walking away to save you.”
Kerry was careful to keep his anger hidden right then, knowing it would scare the boy in front of him more than he already was. “Let me take some of it, Roarke.”
Understanding what he was saying, Roarke shook his head; fear and shame still too huge in his heart, but he didn’t pull away when his brother gently clasped his face.
While Mac was the full empath, Kerry had always been able to feel as well as take emotional and physical pain if he needed to. Knowing what this usually did to him, he decided this was important enough to take the risks.
“Don’t think on the pain, little brother,” he urged, really surprised when his brother stayed still. “Nothing that happened was ever your fault. Not Mum and Da’s deaths or what happened to you. If anything, all of this is my fault.”
Surprised at this, Roarke’s eyes snapped to his brothers and saw how the gray-blue had changed. “No, you couldn’t have…”
“I should have fought Kathleen more and kept all four of you here in Fitzgaren.” Kerry saw the full scope of his brother’s fears, his life, and began soothing those raw emotions with both powers and soft soothing words spoken in Irish.
Roarke struggled slightly but events and injuries made him tired so he didn’t resist as his brother looked and soothed. He was still numb from everything so he really wasn’t aware when the shields he had built crashed and only the sudden strong arms around him kept him standing.
Tensing briefly since he didn’t like being touched by anyone but Jessica, Roarke suddenly reached out and held on.
“It’s o-kay, boyo,” Kerry murmured, tightening his arms when he felt his younger brother was holding on and not fighting the hold. “You’re home now and no one will ever hurt you or us again.”
Silence filled the office for a long time until finally Kerry felt most of the tension ease from Roarke’s body. “Alright?” he asked, easing him back slightly but not releasing him.