Sugarcoated

by Erin Nicholas

  “Yes! God!” She threw the mashed cake ball at him.

  He dodged this one. Aiden stared at her. “I should have come back to town, said ‘I’m buying Hot Cakes, but don’t worry I love you’? That would have been better?”

  “Yes!”

  “You would have been pissed! You never would have listened to me tell you that I loved you and want to be with you and was back for you!”

  “You should have kept trying, then! You should have worked to make me listen. To convince me. You could have put as much work into that as you did into convincing me over the past few days that Hot Cakes was important. You have been doing an amazing job convincing me that I needed to look at Hot Cakes differently and open my mind to that and give it a chance. You should have been willing to do that for us. For us being together.”

  “I did do that,” he insisted, taking a step forward. “You gave me a hard time the minute I walked in here.”

  “I fought you on it for what? Thirty minutes? Isn’t that about how long it took you to get me up against the fridge?” she asked. “You had to do a little talking and flirting and kissing, but you didn’t have to fight. Because there wasn’t really an obstacle. And you know why that was? Because you didn’t tell me about the one thing that would have made me really shut you down. You didn’t have to try to convince me that this”—she wagged a finger back and forth between them, clearly indicating "this" was their relationship—“was more important than my grudge against Hot Cakes. You would have had to work for it, yes, but you should have been willing to do that.”

  He took another step forward. She was within reach now, but he didn’t try to touch her.

  Her arms were crossed, and she didn’t reach for him either.

  “I’m so sorry. I know you’re angry,” he said.

  She shook her head. “I’m not angry, Aiden. I… feel like a fool.”

  He flashed back to the first night he’d been in town, expecting her to be mad about Christmas Eve only to find out she’d been embarrassed about that night instead.

  His gut tightened. He fucking hated that he kept doing this to her. And he didn’t even realize it. “Why would you feel like a fool?”

  She took a deep breath. “Because I didn’t just have sex. I had sex with cream filling on the worktable where I learned to make cookies with my grandmother. Because—” Suddenly she pivoted and stomped to a cupboard. She threw the door open. “Because of this.”

  The shelves inside the cupboard were completely full. Of mason jars.

  “I ordered five hundred of them,” she said, slamming the door shut again. “Before I’d even made one cupcake or pie in one. Because… of you. Because, even though I fought it, you got into my head. And my heart. And I knew, deep down, that you would help me figure out a way to do this. Or you’d help me fix it if I messed it up. I—”

  She threw up her hands. “God, I even opened my mind up and actually thought about not hating Hot Cakes. I worried my dead grandmother would come back and haunt me, but I still did it. I realized I want Hot Cakes to be saved and to stay in business, and I’ve spent the last couple of days hoping so hard that the new owners will be amazing and treat Jane and everyone well.”

  She glared at him. “I’ve been fucking vulnerable as hell with you. And because of you. Because I trust you. Because I believe in you. Because I thought you believed in me and wanted me to be… everything. Happy and fulfilled and open-minded and forgiving.” She shook her head. “Over the last couple of days I’ve realized you were the only one who could have ever put cream filling where you put it on me, and you’re the only person who could have gotten me to bake a damned cupcake in a jar. I listened to you about my business. Even the stuff I didn’t want to hear. I… showed you my jar pies. And you couldn’t even show me your Hot Cakes.”

  It flashed through his mind that that should be funny.

  But it really fucking wasn’t.

  She was so damned amazing. And she was right. She had been vulnerable as hell with him. He was so damned humbled by that. He’d realized it, of course, on some level, but hearing her say that, admit it, own it, was incredible.

  “I do want all those things. Zoe, I—”

  “You haven’t done any of that with me,” she said, holding up a hand to stop whatever he’d been about to say. She clearly wasn’t done.

  “You didn’t trust me enough to tell me about Hot Cakes and to let me be mad at you. You should have been willing to have those fights with me, Aiden. To have me tell you that you were wrong and selfish and greedy… or whatever I would have said. You should have been willing to take that. To not be Mr. Perfect Golden Boy for a few days.”

  “And—” she went on, when he opened his mouth. “You should have still trusted that you could convince me it was a good thing. You didn’t even try. You’ve been trying to get me to be open-minded and think of Hot Cakes differently, not to help me be a better, more forgiving, grudge-free person, but because you thought it would make it harder for me to be mad at you when I found out.”

  He swallowed hard, his gut tight, his heart pounding so hard he could feel it through his whole body. “I wanted you to let go of that grudge so you could be happier and more confident in what you do here. You have to believe that. I do believe in you. I love you. I think you’re amazing, and it kills me that you’re afraid of anything.”

  “What I’m afraid of right now is that you won’t ever really be vulnerable or let me see you not succeeding at something. You think I don’t know what it’s like to always want to throw touchdowns? I bake touchdowns in here every single day. I have a playbook that has never failed me. I hate the idea of not being good at something. But… I was willing to show you how that looked.”

  She had. That knowledge rocked through him. He and Zoe had a lot of things in common. Wanting to be the best at what they did and being damned stubborn in their determination to make that true were two of them. Her letting him see her not the best at something, worried about something, trying something she might fail at, was big.

  His heart in his throat, he stepped forward again, right in front of her. He was scared. More scared than he’d ever been. Scared she’d reject what he was about to say. Scared he’d messed this up beyond repair.

  But he had no other plays here. There was no other plan. There was no alternative. He had to say it anyway.

  “Okay, I’m going to try this again. The way I should have done it before. Zoe, I’ve bought Hot Cakes. The people there need us. The town needs us. And I love you. I want to be with you. I’ve wanted that for a very long time. I want to move back to Appleby and make a life with you. A life that includes Buttered Up and Hot Cakes.”

  She didn’t say anything. She just swallowed hard.

  “Hot Cakes is really important to me, Zoe. This is the kind of business owner I want to be.” He took a deep breath. “It’s the most challenging thing I’ve done. It’s the hardest. It’s probably the first thing that hasn’t just fallen into place because I wanted it. And it’s also felt the best. I think because it’s been hard. So you’re right. I need to learn to be okay with not always having the answers right away or everything working out from the very first minute. I have to be willing to work at it.”

  He looked at her, his heart full of love but also pride. He was proud of her. “You are figuring all that out—with the jar cake and pies, with opening yourself up to the good things about Hot Cakes. You’re willing to say that maybe you’re not right all the time. Maybe you won’t always like every part of everything that’s happening. Maybe you won’t always feel confident in every bit of it… but you’re still willing to try. And I want to be like you in that way.” He took a deep breath. “I should have told you. All of it. Day one. Minute one. I’m sorry. I really am.” He swallowed. “And I do love you. So fucking much.”

  She didn’t say anything for a long moment. Her eyes were wide and shiny. She was biting her bottom lip, and her arms were crossed. Nothing about her body language said she wa
nted him any closer to her right now. And she definitely wasn’t saying that.

  “I think you need to go,” were the words she did finally say to him.

  Aiden felt that like a punch straight to his chest. He sucked in a breath. He went through a million things he could say. But he’d come barging back into her life, swept her up, made her vulnerable, made her open up. Now it all had to be her choice.

  If she wanted him.

  Or if she didn’t.

  “Okay,” he finally agreed.

  “And maybe you should go stay in Dubuque tonight,” she added.

  Fuck. He blew out a breath. And nodded. “Okay.”

  For now. That was okay for now. He’d give her time and space. But this wasn’t over.

  He knew she knew that.

  He headed for the back door of the bakery, but he paused with a hand on the knob. He turned back. “I love you, Zoe.”

  She met his eyes and held his gaze for a long, heart-wrenching moment. Then she gave him a single nod. “I know.”

  Aiden took a deep breath. God, he hadn’t realized how tight his chest was until she’d said those words. He blew out the breath, nodded, and left the bakery.

  After three minutes of just staring at Buttered Up’s back door, Zoe told Josie that she needed to leave. Her friend had given her a sympathetic look, a hug, and assured her that she could handle the bakery until closing.

  Zoe had headed to her car, but she’d just sat, replaying everything, expecting to cry. Or to feel angry. To want to rage bake. Or to go after Aiden and yell at him some more. Or to text Josie and Jane and insist they meet her at Jane’s with lots of liquor.

  But none of those things happened. She just sat there, thinking.

  And feeling there was only one person she really needed to talk to right now.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  Maggie looked over from where she was stirring something on the stovetop as Zoe let herself into the house through the back door.

  “Zoe. Hi, honey.”

  Maggie must have seen something in Zoe’s face because she put her spoon down and turned fully.

  “Aiden is one of the new owners of Hot Cakes.” No sense in beating around the bush about it.

  Maggie seemed to need a second to process that. Then her eyes widened. “What?”

  Zoe slumped into one of the kitchen chairs. She was suddenly so tired. “Aiden, Cam, and their partners bought Hot Cakes.”

  Maggie took a deep breath. She turned back and started stirring again.

  Zoe frowned at her mother’s lack of response.

  “Mom?”

  “Two minutes,” Maggie said simply. She kept stirring. “I need two more minutes.”

  “He didn’t tell me because he wanted to make sure I knew he was in love with me first,” Zoe went on anyway. “You know, before he told me he’d done something horrible.”

  But now, knowing that all the things Aiden had been working on over the last few days was for Hot Cakes, it didn’t seem like he’d done something horrible. He was doing something pretty great, actually.

  “And he doesn’t think Hot Cakes is—or really ever has been—our competition.”

  The timer on the stove went off, and Maggie removed the pan from the burner. She shut the timer off then turned to pour the liquid from the pan over whatever was in the casserole dish on the counter next to the stove.

  She covered the dish with aluminum foil, opened the oven, and slid it in. She reset the timer, wiped her hands, took a deep breath, then joined Zoe at the table.

  “What you’re saying is, he came back and made you fall in love with him before he told you all this,” Maggie said.

  Zoe shook her head. “He says he wanted to come back for me. Hot Cakes made that possible.”

  “Aiden is very rich. If he wanted to come back and settle down here, he could have bought any other business. Or started a new one.”

  Zoe studied her mother’s face. Maggie looked upset.

  “He could have,” Zoe agreed.

  “Knowing Aiden and Cam, they’ll make it even better,” Maggie said. Clearly, she was referring to Hot Cakes.

  Zoe nodded. They would. That was just who they were. They were dreamers, but driven, smart, dedicated dreamers. Hot Cakes would grow and be even more successful with them at the helm.

  “What are you going to do?” Maggie asked, meeting Zoe’s eyes.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are you going to break up with him?”

  “I…” She supposed that made sense. He had lied to her—or at least kept the truth from her. He’d gone behind her back, for sure. He’d talked about their future without ever mentioning his future was Hot Cakes. He’d slept with her with all that between them.

  “Well, those are your options, right?” Maggie asked. “You either forgive him and stay together and figure out a way to make it work, or you break it off and go back to how things were before he came back.”

  Zoe immediately knew that wasn’t possible. She couldn’t go back. Aiden had known back at Christmas—way before she had realized it—that if they slept together, let themselves fall, imagined a future together, there would be no going back.

  Everything would change.

  Everything had changed.

  And she liked a lot of these changes. Seeing him every day. Smelling his soap in the bathroom. Having chunky peanut butter in her cupboards for his toast in the morning. Kissing him. Talking business with him. Having his input and help whether it was decorating cookies or looking at tax deductions. Watching him work and lead and grow.

  She’d always looked at change as risk. When something was working, if you changed it, you risked it not working. You risked something going wrong, looking bad, being made to look like a fool.

  That had happened with Aiden too. She’d let him change her mind. She’d opened herself up. And now she was…

  Zoe frowned. What was she?

  She’d told Aiden she felt foolish, and yes, she now blushed whenever she made cream-filled cupcakes, and she had a cupboard filled with mason jars, but... so what? Was any of that bad? She’d also had amazing sex, fallen in love, and made cake and pie in a jar that were, if nothing else, pretty cute with a big yellow bow and a Buttered Up sticker on the top. Nothing was hurt by being vulnerable with Aiden in those ways.

  And she’d even decided that Hot Cakes needed Aiden. Before she’d known Aiden was the new boss. The way he’d helped Jane and Maria had been exactly what she’d been hoping their new bosses would be like. And… he was.

  “I can’t go back to how things were before he came back to Appleby,” she finally said.

  “You’re going to forgive him for this? He is now your competition, Zoe.” Maggie frowned. “And Camden. I’m going to have to have a word with my eldest son.”

  “He’s…” Zoe swallowed. “He’s not, Mom. He wouldn’t do that to us. They wouldn’t do that to us.”

  “But he kept this from you. He wasn’t honest with you.”

  Yeah, Zoe hated that. But… She shrugged. “I didn’t make it very easy for him to confide in me. I’ve always been so focused on hating Hot Cakes and feeling threatened that he couldn’t trust me to look at it from his point of view.” The more she thought about that, the worse she felt. She’d been so hardheaded. Whenever he’d brought Hot Cakes up, she’d complained and insulted it.

  Now Maggie’s frown was trained on Zoe. “I’m sure the sex is great, but don’t let that mix all this up. This is business. Our family business.”

  Zoe stared at her mother. That was very unlike Maggie.

  “That’s not what this is.”

  “You weren’t this big of a fan of Aiden’s before you slept with him.”

  “Mom!” Zoe frowned. “That isn’t true. I’ve always loved Aiden.”

  She heard her words out loud, and her heart thunked in her chest.

  “I’ve loved him for a very long time. Yes, as a friend and pseudo big brother at first. But that… changed… at some
point and became more. I don’t even know when.”

  Huh, so not all change was earth shattering and scary. Sometimes it happened slowly. And ended up as something new and wonderful. Without you even realizing it until you really thought about it.

  “And I trust him,” she went on. “If Aiden had thought for a second that Hot Cakes would actually hurt us, he would have never gotten involved. He would probably work to shut it down even faster.”

  Maggie’s frown didn’t ease. “Your grandmother would be so disappointed. She’s probably rolling in her grave.”

  Zoe reached out and squeezed her mother’s hand. “I know she’d be upset.” Zoe’s chest felt tight. “But wouldn’t she want me to be happy? Wouldn’t she be happy that I had found love and a man I admire and respect and trust? Who feels the same way about me? Someone who cares about Buttered Up and will work to make it successful too?” Zoe swallowed. Aiden had done that. Even while he was in the process of buying Hot Cakes, he’d been helping her grow and make Buttered Up more. Better. “Or would she only see Hot Cakes as her enemy and not be able to look past that to all the good things Aiden means to me?”

  Maggie swallowed. “I…” Maggie sighed. “I think she would have had a hard time seeing past her feelings for Didi and Hot Cakes.”

  Zoe’s stomach knotted. “That’s really sad.” She looked into Maggie’s eyes. “I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be bitter like that. Anymore. I don’t want a grudge, that’s not even mine, to make me miss good, happy things.”

  Maggie studied her face. Then slowly, she nodded. “He loves you. And you love him.”

  It wasn’t really a question, but Zoe nodded. “Yes.”

  “Aiden loves our family.”

  “He does.”

  “So we’re going to trust him?”

  “Well, we have no reason not to,” Zoe said, her heart feeling lighter. Maggie was coming around already. She loved Aiden too. That mattered a lot here. “He’s never given us a reason to doubt him. He’s trying to save the town. And… I think he’s actually doing that.”