Return of the Jerk (Sweet Life in Seattle, Book 2)

by Simonne, Andrea

  She scoffs. “No, you’re not.” And you never really were.

  “The law says otherwise.”

  Blair glares at him.

  “Why is it you never filed for divorce?” He studies her curiously. “All these years, I kept waiting for papers to arrive, but they never did.”

  “How could I? I had no idea where you were! One day, you were gone, and all I knew was you were somewhere in Asia.”

  Road looks over her shoulder, taking in her condo again, and it’s like he’s not even listening.

  She tries hard not to stare at his body, though it’s difficult when he’s standing in front of her in nothing but a towel. Without thinking, she starts cataloging his tattoos. The ship in a bottle on his upper right arm. The black tribal arm band on his left bicep. He has some new ones, she notices. There’s some kind of writing—Sanskrit, she guesses—above his heart. Some Chinese characters running down his side. She imagines running her fingers over them, touching his smooth skin.

  Blair closes her eyes.

  “Why don’t you put some clothes on?” she says, annoyed that she still feels any desire for him.

  His green eyes flash back to her. “What’s the problem? There’s nothing here you haven’t seen before.”

  Guilt washes over her, but she pushes it aside. We should be even. He left me without a backward glance, so we’re even. But she knows that isn’t true.

  “Humor me and put some clothes on.”

  “Can’t. They’re all in the wash.”

  She lets out her breath.

  One night. That’s all they ever had together. The only time she ever saw Road without the towel, without anything. For one night, he was finally hers, and she took it greedily.

  But that one night ruined everything.

  “YOU’D MAKE A great Buddhist.” Road is drinking his iced coffee as he studies all the lists she has neatly stuck to her refrigerator.

  “Why is that?”

  “All your lists.” He leans closer to read some of them, and she can hear him chuckling. “You really made a list of the top five things you’d save if your condo catches fire?”

  “I like to be prepared,” Blair mutters.

  “Who’s Mr. Maurice?”

  “My cat.”

  Road turns to her and is looking around. “You have a cat?”

  “Yes, I do. He’s not friendly with strangers, though.”

  “What the hell kind of name is Mr. Maurice?”

  “A perfectly good name.”

  Road shakes his head and goes back to reading the list. “Jimmy Choos? What’s that? Another cat?”

  “Shoes.”

  “Seriously? The second thing you’d save in a fire is a pair of shoes?”

  “They’re champagne crystal, peep-toe platform pumps.”

  “Ah, course. That explains everything.”

  What she doesn’t mention is that they cost a fortune—more than her monthly mortgage. She bought them as a gift to herself after their bakery, La Dolce Vita, had its one year anniversary. She works hard and those shoes were a reward. A symbol.

  As he’s grinning at her list, she studies Road’s profile. There’s a small bump on the bridge of his nose from where he broke it as a kid, falling off his bike, and it gives him a slightly hawkish appearance from the side. It doesn’t detract from his good looks, though. In a way, it adds to them, since he’d be almost too pretty otherwise. Her eyes drift lower to the towel then up again. His back has more new ink, but she can’t tell what it is.

  “Hermes scarves?” Road looks over at her. “Scarves?”

  Blair shrugs. She wears scarves a lot, both in her hair and around her neck, even using them as a belt occasionally. She likes her scarves, what can she say?

  “I like my scarves.”

  He nods slowly. “I remember them now. Always thought they were sexy. Especially the ones in your hair.”

  Blair’s eyes widen. He did?

  “Laptop computer—finally, something practical.” He nods with approval. And then he continues to the last item on the list, “The Razor’s Edge.”

  Road’s face grows thoughtful. She wonders if he’s going to comment on it. The Razor’s Edge by Somerset Maugham was a book they both liked in high school. Blair owns a first edition. He doesn’t say anything, though, and she’s almost disappointed.

  Instead, he moves over to the next list. “Ways I Need to Improve My Life.”

  “Are you really going to read all those lists? I already know what they say. I wrote them, remember?”

  “Number one, lose weight.” Road frowns and shakes his head. “Don’t need to lose weight, princess.”

  Blair doesn’t respond to that. She’s not terribly overweight, but it wouldn’t hurt to lose five pounds—ten if she wanted to be as skinny as the women Road used to date. She thinks about all his former girlfriends. The way she used to study them, trying to figure out what they had that she didn’t. They were all skinny and pretty. Some had big boobs, some small ones. Some were tall, some short. They all had one thing in common, though—something she and Tori used to call Skank Factor X. All of Road’s girlfriends wore tight clothes, heels, and lots of makeup, but the biggest thing that made them Skank Factor X was that every single one of them was a bitch.

  Blair wonders if Road’s tastes have changed much in the past five years.

  I doubt it.

  “Eat healthier. Learn a second language.” Road looks at her with interest. “What language?”

  “I haven’t decided yet.”

  He takes this in and goes back to her list. “Number four, ‘Be less obsessive,’” and she can see him grinning. “Fewer lists might help with that one, babe.”

  “I work a lot of hours. Plus, I like to stay organized,” she says defensively. Granted, her OCD can get out of hand sometimes, and she knows she’s too much of a perfectionist.

  He gets to the last item and reads aloud, “Have more great sex.”

  Blair is drinking her latte and nearly chokes. She’d forgotten that was on there! Instantly, her face warms, and she knows she’s red as a tomato.

  “You want to have more great sex?” Road’s eyebrows shoot up as he turns to her.

  “I didn’t mean that the way it sounds.”

  “What way did you mean it?”

  “That’s an old list. I just meant relax more, you know? Have more fun.”

  Road’s eyes flash on the list then back to her. “It says have more great sex. That implies you’re already having great sex.”

  “I’m not. Not right now, anyway. I mean, I’ve had great sex, of course. I just want to . . . I don’t know . . .” Blair lets out her breath, groaning inwardly at how stupid she sounds.

  “Have more?” Road offers.

  “Something like that,” she mumbles.

  Road chuckles and Blair tries to act indifferent. These lists were meant for her to stay on track. She didn’t have many visitors to her condo, and none of them were reading the lists stuck to her fridge.

  Road quiets as he appears to be considering things. “So, who you been having great sex with, princess?”

  “None of your business.”

  “You have a boyfriend?”

  She does have a sort-of boyfriend. He’s a lawyer named Graham who works for their bakery’s new landlord. He works for their former landlord too, an astronomer her business partner, Natalie, recently married. Blair has been seeing Graham off and on for a while. They get along and are similar in a lot of ways, but no real sparks are flying. They’ve never even slept together. It’s been almost a year since she’s had sex and as she recalls, it wasn’t great.

  “Like I said, none of your business.”

  “Have a right to know these things, seeing as I’m your husband and all.”

  “Really? Are you going to tell me you’ve been faithful to this marriage for the past five years?”

  Road smirks. “Let’s not get crazy.”

  “Our marriage isn’t real, and you know i
t.”

  He meets her eyes and is no longer smiling. “Started out real enough, though.”

  Blair turns her head to the side. No, it didn’t. It started on a lie. And I paid for it in every way.

  “I thought you were going to sleep now. That you were tired,” she says, changing the subject.

  He shrugs. “Guess not.”

  “Well, I have things to do today, so I need to take a shower.” She goes over to the sink, rinses her glass out, and puts it in the dishwasher. Before she leaves the kitchen, she turns to him. “Look, you can stay here a couple days, but that’s it, understand? After that, you’ll have to find someplace else. I’m sure that won’t be difficult for you.”

  He doesn’t reply.

  “And obviously, you’ll sleep on the couch.”

  “You wound me, Blair.” But there’s a smile in his eyes.

  Road’s phone suddenly starts playing some kind of Reggae music. He picks it up off the counter. “This is Nathan.”

  Blair’s eyes widen. Since when did Road start going by his real name? ‘Road’ was a nickname, but she’s never heard anyone refer to him as anything else.

  He leaves the kitchen and heads toward the sliding glass door, opening it to go out onto the back terrace. “Thanks for calling,” she hears him say. “I’m in Seattle now.”

  Blair sighs then goes in to grab her robe and take a shower. Road left a small toiletry bag in the bathroom, and she’s almost tempted to look through it. Surprisingly, he didn’t leave the bathroom a mess, though when she gets in the shower, she notices he moved her shampoo and soap around. She stares at them with annoyance before putting them in their proper place again.

  As she soaps herself under the water, the scent of her citrus body wash brings up the image of Road standing half-naked in her kitchen. His delicious smell. His too-perfect body. Even the sound of his voice brings back memories. She realizes the ache is there, the one she hasn’t had for years. All the wanting she felt for Road bottled up inside of her was ready to spill out again. She’d forgotten what it felt like.

  Doesn’t matter. I’m over him.

  Blair shoves those feelings down as hard as she can and reminds herself of the way he left her without a word.

  Totally over him. He’s a jerk.

  After her shower, Blair gets dressed in a blue and white striped shirt, a pair of navy capris, and black ballet flats.

  No Skank Factor X here.

  Blair remembers trying out Skank Factor X once for Road. She wore a micro-mini, a push-up bra with a low-cut shirt, and a pair of snakeskin heels to one of his mom, Lori’s, BBQ parties. Tori helped her put the whole outfit together. They did her hair big, lots of glittery eyeshadow.

  Tori was the only one who knew Blair had a thing for Road. She figured it out when they were still in high school. It had embarrassed Blair at first, but Tori was totally enthusiastic and desperately wanted Blair to be her sister-in-law. “It has to be you! You’re like my sister already!”

  Predictably, Road wasn’t swayed by Blair’s slutty outfit in the least. She knew why, too—there was no cherry on top. I’m not a bitch. He barely even looked at her, though a lot of the other guys there did, and Blair discovered wearing slutty clothes to a biker party wasn’t the brightest idea.

  After that, she decided to stick with being herself.

  Blair grabs one of her multicolored scarves, folds it over, and ties it into her dark red hair. She remembers Road’s comment from earlier and wonders if he really did think her scarves were sexy.

  Whatever.

  When she goes out into her living room, she finds Road sitting on the couch, still wearing a towel, with a notebook computer on his lap.

  “These are for you.” She places a neat pile of bedding from her linen closet beside him. “The couch turns into a bed. I understand it’s quite comfortable.”

  His green eyes take her in from head to toe, lingering on the scarf in her hair. “Where are you going?”

  “Out.”

  A smile tugs on his mouth. “Where?”

  “I have errands to run.

  “Can you get some food?”

  She sniffs. “This isn’t a hotel.”

  “Yeah, I get that, but there’s no food in your house.”

  One of Blair’s errands is to go grocery shopping, so she knows there isn’t any food in the house, but she sighs as if he’s asking for the moon. “Fine.”

  “Get some veggies and chicken. I’ll make a stir fry tonight.”

  “You’re going to cook?”

  “Some beer wouldn’t be out of place.”

  Blair crosses her arms. “Anything else?”

  “Don’t think so. My wallet’s in the front of my bag over there. Grab some money.”

  Blair glances over at his beat-up travel bag. She’s tempted to get his wallet out so she can see what else is in that bag, but decides against it. That’s the sort of thing she would have done years ago. The old Blair.

  “Don’t worry about it. I need groceries anyway.”

  Road frowns.

  Blair ignores him and goes over to freshen Mr. Maurice’s water and food. She gets him new water then bends down to fill his bowl with cat food. She still hasn’t seen Mr. Maurice, but knows he’s just hiding. He doesn’t warm up to new people easily. Even Tori, who has a way with animals, had a hard time getting Mr. Maurice to come around.

  When she stands up, Road is directly beside her. “Here,” he says, reaching down to take her hand.

  “What are you doing?” Her pulse jumps at his touch. His hand wraps around hers as he puts something into her palm.

  “I’m paying for the groceries.”

  He takes his hand away, and she discovers she’s holding a hundred dollar bill.

  “I don’t need a hundred bucks to buy veggies, chicken, and beer!”

  The dryer’s buzzer goes off and Road heads down the hall to check on his clothes. “Buy whatever else you want then.”

  It’s sunny outside, so Blair takes Isadora. Isadora was the one good thing that came out of her marriage to Road. She’s a beautiful 1965 convertible Ford Mustang that Blair brought up to mint condition. Isadora once belonged to Road, but when he left their marriage, he also left Isadora sitting in the driveway of the house they were renting, so Blair kept her. She started taking her to Brody, Road’s cousin. He owns a garage and has done an amazing job helping Blair restore the car to her original glory.

  Cruising around with the top down, Blair feels like an old-time movie star. Not the shy awkward girl she used to be, unwanted by Road, but confident and beautiful.

  She obsessed over every detail restoring Isadora, and it was worth it.

  Blair grabs her phone and brings up her list of errands. The hardware store, the cleaners, the library, and then lastly the grocery store.

  As she drives toward Home Depot, she thinks about the hundred dollar bill tucked in her purse. After high school, Road worked as a mechanic and took classes at the community college, but she doubts he’s been working as a mechanic all this time.

  So, where does he get his money?

  She noticed he has some nice gadgets, too. Both his computer and phone look brand new. His mom has a few shady friends, but as far as Blair knew, Road was never involved with anything illegal.

  Hopefully, that hasn’t changed and he’s not doing something he shouldn’t be, something stupid. Road has always been smart, but sometimes smart people do dumb things. She thinks about how much time he’s spent in Asia. She knows people sometimes smuggle drugs from there.

  For the first time, Blair wishes she’d let Tori tell her a little more about Road’s life.

  Since it’s sunny out and seeing as she’s in no hurry to get back, she takes her time at Home Depot, browsing paint colors for her second bedroom, which she’s planning to turn into a home office.

  Her second stop is the dry cleaners. After she pays for her clothes, her phone starts playing Eileen Barton’s “If I Knew You Were Coming I’d’v
e Baked a Cake”, and she can see it’s Tori.

  “I’m doing my errands,” Blair tells her, loading her clothes into the trunk of her car. “After that, I’ll be stopping by your house to murder you. It would be helpful if you left your front door unlocked for me.”

  Tori laughs. “Very funny. I just talked to Road. I want you guys to come over tomorrow.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I haven’t seen my brother in ages, and I want to see you, too. Oh, and my mom’s throwing a ‘welcome home’ party for him this weekend, and you have to come to that.”

  Blair gets into Isadora’s driver’s seat. “Me, why?”

  “Because you’re invited, that’s why.”

  “I can’t believe you gave Road my address. You could have at least warned me.”

  “Look, I didn’t know he was planning to stay with you. I gave him that address months ago.”

  Blair wonders if that’s the truth, or if Tori thought she was being helpful in some misguided way. They talk some more and Tori still tries to convince her to come to the party, with Blair finally agreeing to think about it.

  After they hang up, she heads over to the library. She remembers how Road used to occasionally hang out at the library downtown back when they were in high school. She’d noticed him there one afternoon, sitting in a remote corner with a book. It had surprised her. As far she could tell, Road’s life centered around football, partying, and girls, with the priorities changing weekly. His whole family used to show up for his games, all of them drunk and rowdy, hollering over every play. Luckily, he was good, so they were usually hollering with approval.

  When Blair mentioned seeing Road at the library, Tori told her how Road also kept a secret journal. “I found it under his mattress next to a couple of Penthouse magazines.”

  “Did you read it?”

  “No,” Tori admitted. “That didn’t seem right.”

  Blair agreed it wasn’t right, though she wished she could read it anyway. What did he write about? Did he ever mention her? She doubted it. He barely knew she was alive.

  The next time Blair saw Road at the library, she decided to push through her normal shyness and say hello to him.