Return of the Jerk (Sweet Life in Seattle, Book 2)

by Simonne, Andrea

  “How long did you live there?”

  “About six months. Right before I moved to London.”

  “You’ve been leading an adventurous life.”

  Road shrugs. “Some might say that.”

  Blair thinks about how Lori once told her how he got his nickname—why they started calling him Road instead of Nathan. She said he kept trying to run away when he was a toddler, that even then he had a hankering for the open road.

  There’s a mewing sound and Blair looks down to see Mr. Maurice twining around her ankles. He lets her pet him a little, but then quickly goes over to Road and jumps on his lap.

  “Hey, buddy.”

  “I swear you’ve hypnotized my cat.”

  Road scratches under Mr. Maurice’s chin. “He’s got good taste, is all.”

  Blair is watching the two of them when she hears her phone playing “If I Knew You Were Coming I’d’ve Baked a Cake” from inside her purse. She gets up to answer it and sees on the display it’s Graham.

  “Hi.” Her eyes flash over to Road, who is still petting Mr. Maurice but watching her with interest. “Let me go find someplace private to talk,” she says pointedly.

  Road raises an eyebrow.

  “I haven’t heard from you in a while,” Graham says in a friendly voice. “Just thought I’d check and see if you want to get together for a movie or something?”

  “Uh, sure.” She heads toward the deck, but then suddenly remembers her purse. Isadora’s keys are inside. She makes her way back over. Road is still watching her as she grabs her purse off the chair, his eyes calculating. “A movie sounds great,” she tells Graham.

  Blair goes out onto her deck and closes the sliding glass door. She can still see Road inside. He’s petting Mr. Maurice, but then he gets up and starts clearing the table.

  Graham is telling her a funny story about someone he works with and she laughs at all the appropriate places, but she can’t take her eyes off Road. He’s putting the food away now. It surprises her. She can’t remember him ever clearing a dish in his life. He’s always been a terrible slob. And even though she wants Road to leave, there’s this odd pang of longing in her chest as she sees him standing in her kitchen. Ironically, despite their ‘marriage,’ this is the most domestic they’ve ever been with each other.

  When Graham is done with his funny story, Blair invites him to her mom’s gallery event. He tells her he might be in Bellingham for work, but he’ll try to make it.

  They hang up and when Blair goes back inside, she doesn’t see Road anywhere.

  Unfortunately, she already knows where he is.

  Sure enough, she finds him in her bedroom, though unlike the last two nights, he isn’t asleep but sitting in bed reading from a Kindle.

  “Who was that you were talking to?” he asks when she comes into the room.

  “You’re not seriously staying the night here again.”

  “Answer my question.”

  Blair goes over to stand by the end of the bed. Road is wearing a white T-shirt, but the rest of his body is under the duvet. He definitely looks like he’s planning to stay. “This is crazy. You can’t just move in here.”

  “Was that your boyfriend?”

  “Would you at least sleep on the couch? Could you do that much for me?”

  Road goes back to his Kindle. She notices Mr. Maurice curled up beside him, her traitorous cat. Quite the cozy pair. “Can’t sleep on the couch, babe. It’ll kill my back.”

  Blair scoffs. “Since when do you have a back problem?”

  “It’s a recent thing.”

  “I don’t believe that. You’re making it up.”

  “Believe whatever you like.” He’s still looking at his Kindle, but she can see the little smirk on his face.

  Blair gives up and goes into the bathroom to change into the oversized shirt and boxer shorts she wears to bed. She brushes her teeth. When that’s done, she checks to make sure her front door is locked and everything is turned off. She tries to do it consciously, so she can visit the memory, instead of checking the door over and over. It’s a trick she learned in counseling to help with her compulsions, though it doesn’t always work.

  Finally, she heads into the bedroom again. Another sleepless night next to Road. Great.

  Road is still reading, and he watches her when she comes into the room. His eyes roam over her, and she tries not to show her discomfort at his perusal. She senses his laser focus is on.

  “Is that what you always sleep in?” he asks, still studying her boxer shorts as she climbs into bed.

  “Yes.”

  She tries to imagine what all his Skank Factor X girlfriends wear to bed. Garter belts and push-up bras, no doubt.

  “Don’t you have a little nightie or something?”

  Blare rolls her eyes.

  He grins. “A classy babe like you? I’ll bet you got a whole drawer full of them.”

  In truth, she does have a few nighties, though they’re not in a drawer but hanging in her closet. “I’m not wearing them for you.”

  Road chuckles at that, but then his laughter quiets. “Who are you wearing them for—your boyfriend?”

  Blair gives a haughty sniff as she pulls the covers over herself. She makes a point not to check and see what Road has on, though she’s pretty sure it’s a pair of boxer briefs. “That’s right, I wear my nighties for him all the time.”

  Road takes this in then shakes his head. “Don’t think so.”

  “It’s true.”

  “That dude who called you earlier?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, that dude who called is my boyfriend.”

  “No way he’s your boyfriend.”

  “You’re wrong. He is my boyfriend.”

  “Nope. And I can you tell this much, too. You’re definitely not sleeping with him.”

  “What makes you so sure of that?”

  He puts his Kindle down and rolls over so he’s on his side, facing her. “Because if you were, princess, you’d be in bed with him right now instead of me.”

  Blair goes still at this. She’s lying on her back, while Road is propped up on one elbow, the room bathed in a soft glow from her lamp.

  She meets his eyes. Swallows. Remembers how it felt like he was going to kiss her last night. It feels that way again, but this time, she knows it’s all in her mind. He’s already slept in the same bed with her two nights in a row, and it’s clear he doesn’t want her. Because if he did want her, by now he would have done something about it.

  “You’re only here because I’m stuck with you,” she tells him.

  “We can end this anytime.”

  She closes her eyes. “Just turn the light off. I need to get some sleep.”

  He rolls away from her and reaches for the bedside lamp. But then he stops. “Tell me something first. The truth. Are you sleeping with that guy?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Why do you care, Road?”

  “Tell me,” he insists.

  Blair blows out a sigh. “No. You’re right. We’re not sleeping together.”

  The light goes out and she can feel Road lie down, settling in. She rolls on her side, facing away from him. As always, his scent is everywhere. The smoky hint of autumn. She wishes he was one of those guys who wore cologne or something. Smelling him is like taking a hit off an opium pipe.

  He’s right about Graham, too. They keep trying to date, but there aren’t many sparks flying. The few times they kissed, it felt more like she was kissing her brother.

  Blair’s eyes close as she waits for the sound of Road’s deep, even breathing. The torment of it every night. She doesn’t understand why he’s being so stubborn about Isadora, either. Why does he suddenly want that car so bad? Maybe he plans to sell her. The thought makes Blair grit her teeth. After all the energy I’ve poured into her?

  She lies there, trying to let her mind drift off to sleep, and starts to wonder if maybe she shou
ld just move to the couch herself. At least she’d finally get some rest. No way is he chasing me out of my own bed, though.

  “Blair, you awake?” Road asks softly.

  It actually startles her, Road’s voice. She freezes, and for a second can’t decide whether she should answer or not. After all, she’s been fake-sleeping the past two nights, but then realizes he doesn’t know that.

  “Yes,” she says. “I’m awake.”

  She feels him shift in bed. “What you said at Tori’s yesterday surprised me. I never knew you were bothered about me leaving.”

  Blair is silent, taking this in.

  “Always figured you’d want to make a clean start of it. That’s why I never contacted you.”

  “You put a note on my pillow that said ‘see you later.’ How could that not bother me?”

  “I know that was shitty, but I didn’t have a lot of options.”

  “You could have told me to my face that you were leaving.”

  “You wouldn’t let me.”

  Blair sighs. “Give me a break, that’s the best you can do?”

  “I tried to talk to you, but every time, you shut me down. Went all weepy.”

  Blair closes her eyes and thinks back to that unhappy time, the most unhappy time of her life. She was weepy a lot. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  Road exhales. She thinks he’s going to say more, and she waits for it. But he doesn’t and is quiet instead. And eventually, she hears it.

  The deep, even breathing of Road’s sleep.

  “YOU HAVE TO talk some sense into him,” Blair tells Tori. “He’s your brother. I think he’ll listen to you.”

  Tori shakes her head. “No way, José. I love you both, and I’m not getting in the middle of this. I’m Switzerland.”

  Blair is at Tori’s house. She came over during her lunch break, hoping maybe Tori could figure out a way to convince Road to leave. “I don’t want him staying with me, but he kept my house key and it’s like he’s moved in or something.”

  She thinks back to how she left Road sleeping in her bed this morning with Mr. Maurice. She was tempted to wake him, force him to keep baker’s hours. But as she watched Road’s face so peaceful in sleep, she didn’t have the heart.

  Instead, she stood there, gazing her fill. It was a rare opportunity to be allowed to look at Road as much as she wanted, and she’s embarrassed to admit she took it. Even when they were living together years ago, she didn’t have the chance because they slept in separate bedrooms. Watching him this morning, she was tempted to pull the duvet down a little, see even more of him, but that might have woken him up. Plus, she worried she was crossing a line already and getting all stalkerish.

  If only he would leave and end this torment! Then I can have my life back. The one that doesn’t include Road.

  “Why don’t you just give him Isadora? That’s all he wants, and then he’ll go.” Tori is shaking out some treats for her cats. They’re mewing and rubbing against her. The boys are waiting patiently, too, since they know they’re next.

  “You’re seriously going to ask me that? You know what I’ve put into her. I love that car.”

  Tori sighs. “I know. And she’s amazing, but Uncle Lance gave Isadora to Road for his sixteenth birthday.”

  “So what?”

  “Uncle Lance was the closest to a dad either of us ever had. Road is never going to give up that car.”

  Blair goes silent at this. Uncle Lance was their mom’s brother, and it’s true he was a good guy. Rough around the edges, but still all right from everything she remembers. Unfortunately, he died about ten years ago. She knows Road always looked up to him as a kid. “You think Road has an emotional attachment to Isadora?”

  “Of course he does.”

  “I don’t believe it. Why did he abandon her then?” Blair shakes her head. “No, I think he wants to sell her.”

  Tori laughs. “That’s silly.”

  “It’s not. He probably needs the money.”

  “He doesn’t need the money.”

  Blair is watching Tori as she finishes giving all the animals their snacks and goes over to wash her hands in the sink. Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” is playing on the stereo from one of Tori’s endless hair band playlists.

  Blair waits for her to come back over and figures it’s probably time to enlighten Tori about some things. “Do you know what Road does for a living?”

  Tori dries her hands with a paper towel. “Of course.”

  Blair’s eyebrows shoot up, and she has to admit she’s surprised. “And it doesn’t bother you?”

  “Not at all. I’m proud of him.”

  “Proud?” Blair nearly chokes. “How can you be proud of something like that?”

  Tori flops down next to her on the couch and puts her feet on the coffee table. Her toenails are painted red with a white daisy on each big toe. “We’re all proud of Road. The whole family.”

  Blair takes this in. She’s starting to get an uneasy feeling. Road’s family is kind of crazy, but she never thought they were this crazy. “Tori, he could get into a lot of trouble for what he’s doing.”

  “Why?”

  “Because,” Blair lowers her voice, “it’s illegal.”

  This gives Tori pause. “What exactly did Road tell you he does for a living?”

  “He hasn’t told me in so many words, but I figured it out. And he didn’t deny it when I asked.” She lowers her voice again. “I know he’s smuggling drugs.”

  Tori studies her for a second and then bursts out laughing. “Blair! How could you of all people fall for that?” She’s still laughing and shaking her head. “My brother is such a goof.”

  “It’s true.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “He didn’t deny it.”

  “Road is not a drug smuggler! He’s a writer and a travel blogger.”

  Blair blinks. “What are you talking about?”

  Tori sighs. “I never told you because you didn’t want to hear about him, but Road wrote a book that’s become a bestseller on Amazon.”

  “He did? Road writes?”

  “It came out about six months ago. It’s based on some of the stuff he wrote for his travel blog.”

  Blair’s head is spinning as she tries to take this in. “Are you serious?”

  “Totally serious. His blog gets like a zillion hits a day. Plus, he’s working on a second book.”

  “How is this possible? I’m completely stunned!”

  Tori laughs. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but that’s why we’re so proud of him.”

  “I can’t believe you never told me any of this.”

  “I wanted to, but you were so adamant about not discussing him, and I didn’t want to upset you.”

  Blair lets out her breath. “I feel seriously stupid.”

  Tori smiles sheepishly. “He’s a really good writer.” She pats Blair’s leg. “You should read some of his stuff, especially his book. It’s called Edge of Zen, the same as his blog. I bet you’d like it.”

  Blair shakes her head in disbelief. All this time, Road let her think he was doing something illegal.

  That jerk!

  Back at the bakery, Blair still tries to recover from her shock. Road is a successful writer and blogger? Once again, she feels like an idiot. He must have been laughing behind her back this whole time. She was tempted to download his book, but decides not to. Forget it. Who cares if it’s any good? He can burn in hell!

  No wonder he didn’t worry about her calling the police last night. Why should he?

  What’s ironic is that she should be relieved. Relieved about all of it. Relieved that he’s not smuggling drugs or doing something illegal.

  Blair brushes a stray hair off her face with the back of her hand as she adds the final Swiss dots to the cake she’s working on. Finally, she steps back to inspect it for symmetry. Looking at it from all sides, she’s satisfied enough to take her gloves off. Most people would say her cakes look perfect
, and her brides are typically thrilled, but most of the time all she can see are the flaws. So instead, she imagines the couple who’ll be eating this cake on Saturday. All the joy and happiness they’ll be sharing with their families. It’s a good feeling to be a part of that.

  When she gets home late that afternoon, her silver Honda is in its usual parking spot and for once, she’s glad to see it. She figures Road must be upstairs.

  Blair slams the front door shut behind her when she arrives and throws her purse on the couch. He’s not sitting in the living area, but it doesn’t take her long to find him in her second bedroom, the one she’s been planning to convert into an office, only it looks like he’s already done the job for her.

  “What’s all this?” Her mouth drops open. There’s a brand new desk and office chair where Road is currently sitting.

  He glances up at her. “I’m turning this into my office.”

  “What?” Her eyes bug out. “Who gave you permission to do that?”

  “You already had a filing cabinet and a bookcase in here. Figured this was your plan all along.”

  Blair walks closer and puts her hand on the wooden desk. It’s a nice one, but this is crazy. “I can’t believe you bought furniture!”

  “Needed a desk, babe.”

  There are two computers open in front of him and he’s fiddling with some wires and a box that looks like a router. She also spots a new printer/fax machine in the corner. She’s so stunned, she can’t even speak, just watches the top of his blond head.

  Finally, she finds her voice. “You’re a real jerk, you know that?”

  “Look, it’s just some furniture. Easy enough to take with me when I leave.”

  “This is quite the drug smuggling operation you’ve got here.”

  Road chuckles, still fiddling with the wires. “Yeah, I know. Tori called me.”

  “How could you let me think that?”

  “The better question is how could you think it to begin with?” He gives her a look. “Seriously, Blair.”

  “Don’t turn this around!”

  “You had me convicted and sentenced without a single shred of evidence. Quite the hanging judge, aren’t you?” He chuckles some more.