by Diana Palmer
His dark green gaze fell to her parted lips. “You’re not,” he said huskily, and the hand in her hair contracted. “It can’t hurt for you to know your real age. You’re almost twenty-two. Fair game,” he added under his breath, and all at once his hard, sensuous mouth came down on her lips with firm purpose.
She gasped in surprise, and her hand went to his chest. That was a mistake, because it was unbuttoned in front and her fingers were enmeshed in thick, curling dark hair that covered the powerful muscles.
His head lifted, as if the contact affected him. His eyes narrowed. His heart, under her fingertips, beat strongly and a little fast.
“You shouldn’t…” she began, frightened of what was happening to her.
“I’ve waited a long time for this,” he said enigmatically. He bent to her mouth again. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, Tellie,” he whispered into her lips. “Nothing at all…”
The pressure increased little by little. Her fingers dug into his chest as odd sensations worked themselves down her body, and she shivered.
He smiled against her parted lips. “It’s about time,” he murmured, and his mouth grew insistent.
She felt his body slowly move closer, so that they were lying breast to breast on the soft mattress. One lean hand slid under the pajama top, against her rib cage, warm and teasing. She should grab his wrist and stop him, her mind was saying, because this wasn’t right. He was a notorious womanizer and she was like his ward. She was far too young to be exposed to such experienced ardor. She was…but he’d said she was almost twenty-two years old. Why hadn’t she remembered her age?
His hand contracted in her soft hair. “Stop thinking,” he bit off against her mouth. “Kiss me, Tellie,” he breathed, and his hand suddenly moved up and cupped her soft, firm breast. His head lifted, to watch her stunned, delighted reaction.
For an instant, she stiffened. But then his thumb rubbed tenderly over the swollen nipple, and a ripple of ardent desire raged in her veins. She drew in a shivery, shaking breath. The pressure increased, just enough to be arousing. She arched involuntarily, and moaned.
“Yes,” he said, as though she’d spoken.
His hand swallowed her whole, and his mouth moved gently onto her parted lips, teasing, exploring, demanding. All her defenses were down. There was no tomorrow. She had J.B. in her arms, wanting her. Whether it was wrong or not, she couldn’t resist him. She’d never known that her body could experience anything so passionately satisfying. She felt swollen. She wanted to pull him closer. She wanted to touch him, as he was touching her. She wanted…everything!
Her arms slid up around his neck and she arched into the warm pressure of his hand on her body.
His mouth increased its pressure, until he broke open her mouth and his tongue moved inside, in slow, insistent thrusts that made her moan loudly. She’d never been kissed in such an intimate way. She’d never wanted to be. But this was delicious. It was the most delicious taste of a man she’d ever had. She wanted more.
He hadn’t meant to let things get so far out of control, but he went under just as quickly as she did. His hand left her breast to flick open the buttons of her pajama jacket. She whispered something, but he didn’t hear it. He was blind, deaf, dumb to anything except the taste and feel of her innocence.
He kissed her again, ardently, and while she followed his mouth, he stripped her out of the pajama top and opened the rest of the buttons over his broad chest. He gathered her hungrily to him, dragging his chest against hers so that the rasp of hair only accentuated the pleasure she was feeling.
When his lean, hard body moved over hers, she was beyond any sort of protest. Her long legs parted eagerly to admit the intimacy of his body. She shivered when she felt him against her. She hadn’t realized how it would feel, when a man was aroused, although she’d read enough about it in her life. Other women were vocal about their own affairs, and Tellie had learned from listening to them talk. She’d been sure that she would never be vulnerable to a man like this, that she’d never be tempted to give in with no thought beyond satisfaction. What she was feeling now put the lie to her overconfidence. She was as helpless as any woman in love.
Even knowing that J.B. was involved more with his body than his mind didn’t help her resist him. Whatever he wanted, he could have. She just didn’t want him to stop. She was drowning in sensation, pulsating with the sweetest, sharpest hunger she’d ever known.
“I’ve waited so long, Tellie,” he groaned into her mouth. His hand went under her hips and lifted her closer into a much more intimate position that made her shudder all over. “God, baby, I’m on fire!”
So was she, but she couldn’t manage words. She arched up toward him, barely aware that he was looking down at her bare breasts. He bent and put his mouth on them, savoring their firm softness, their eager response to his ardor.
Her nails bit into his shoulders. She rocked with him, feeling the slow spiral of satisfaction that was just beginning, like a flash of light that obliterated reason, thought, hope. She only wanted him never to stop.
His lean hand went to the snap that held her pajama bottoms in place, just as loud footsteps sounded on the staircase, accompanied by muttering that was all too familiar.
J.B. lifted his head. He looked as shocked as Tellie felt. He looked down at her breasts and ruddy color flamed over his high cheekbones. Then he looked toward the hall and realized belatedly that the door was standing wide open.
With a furious curse, he moved away from her and got to his feet, slinging the cover over her only a minute before Nell walked in with a tray. Luckily for both of them, she was too concerned over not dumping milk and cookies all over the floor to notice how flushed they were.
J.B. had time to fasten his shirt. Tellie had the sheet up to her neck, covering the open pajama jacket she’d pulled on.
“Thought you might like a snack,” Nell said, smiling as she put the tray down next to the vase of roses.
“I would. Thanks, Nell,” Tellie said in an oddly husky tone.
J.B. kept his back to Nell as he went toward the door. “I’ve got a phone call to make. Sleep tight, Tellie.”
“You, too, J.B.,” she said, amazed at her acting ability, and his.
When he was gone, Nell moved the roses a little farther onto the table. “Aren’t they beautiful, though?” she asked Tellie as she sniffed them. “Grange has good taste.”
“Yes, he does,” Tellie said, forcing a smile.
Nell glanced at her curiously. “You look very flushed. You’re not running a fever, are you?” she asked worriedly.
Tellie bit her lower lip and tasted J.B. there. She looked at Nell innocently. “J.B. and I had words,” she lied.
Nell frowned. “Over what?”
“The roses,” Tellie replied. “He didn’t like the idea that Grange was here.”
Nell sighed, falling for the ruse. “I was afraid he wouldn’t.”
“Do you know why he dislikes him so much?” Tellie asked. “I mean, he agreed that I could go out with Grange, apparently. It seems odd that he wouldn’t have stopped me.”
“He couldn’t,” Nell said. “After all, you’re of age…” She stopped and put her hand over her mouth, looking guilty.
“I’m almost twenty-two,” Tellie said, avoiding Nell’s gaze. “I…remembered.”
“Well, that’s progress!”
It wasn’t, but Tellie wasn’t about to admit to Nell that she’d had a heavy petting session with J.B. in her own bed and learned about her age that way. She could still hardly believe what had happened. If Nell hadn’t walked up the staircase just at that moment…It didn’t bear thinking about. What had she done? She knew J.B. was a womanizer. He didn’t love women; she knew that even though she couldn’t remember why. She’d given him liberties that he wasn’t entitled to. Why?
“You look tired,” Nell said. “Drink up that milk and eat those cookies. Leave the tray. I’ll get it in the morning. Can I bring you anything else?”
A good psychiatrist, Tellie thought, but didn’t dare say. She smiled. “No. Thanks a lot, Nell.”
“You’re very welcome. Sleep well.”
She’d never sleep again, she imagined. “You, too.”
The door closed behind her. Tellie sat up and started to rebutton her jacket. Her breasts had faint marks on them from J.B.’s insistent mouth. She looked at them and got aroused all over again. What was happening? She knew, she just knew, that J.B. had never touched her like that before. Why had he done it?
She lay awake long into the night, worrying the question.
The next morning, Nell told her that J.B. had suddenly had to fly to a meeting in Las Vegas, a cattlemen’s seminar of some sort.
Tellie wasn’t really surprised. Perhaps J.B. was a little embarrassed, as she was, about what they’d done together.
“He didn’t take his girlfriend with him, either,” Nell said. “That’s so strange. He takes her everywhere else.”
Tellie felt her heart stop beating. “His girlfriend?” she prompted.
“Sorry. I keep forgetting that your memory’s limping. Bella,” she added. “She’s a beauty contestant. J.B.’s been dating her for several weeks.”
Tellie stared at her hands. “Is he serious about her?”
“He’s never serious about women,” Nell replied. “But that doesn’t mean he won’t have them around. Bella travels with him, mostly, and she spends the occasional weekend in the guest room.”
“This room?” Tellie asked, horrified, looking around her.
“No, of course not,” Nell said, not noticing Tellie’s look of horror. “She stays in that frilly pink room that we usually put women guests in. Looks like a fashion-doll box inside,” she added with a chuckle. “You’d be as out of place there as I would.”
The implication made her uneasy. J.B. was intimate with the beauty contestant, if she was spending weekends with him. The pain rippled down her spine as she considered how easily she’d given in to him the night before. He was used to women falling all over him, wasn’t he? And Tellie wasn’t immune. She wasn’t even respected, or he’d never have touched her when she was a guest in his house. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. He was involved with another woman, and making passes at Tellie. What was wrong with him?
On the other hand, what was wrong with her? She only wished she knew.
She got out of bed and started helping Nell around the house, despite her protests.
“I can’t stay in bed my whole life, Nell,” Tellie argued. “I’ll never get better that way.”
“I suppose not,” the older woman admitted. “But you do have to take it easy.”
“I will.” She pushed the lightweight electric broom into the living room. The sofa caught her attention again, as it had when she’d come home from the hospital. She moved to its back and ran her hand over the smooth cloth fabric, frowning. Why did this sofa make her uneasy? What had happened in this room in the past that upset her?
She turned to Nell. “What did J.B. and I argue about?” she asked.
Nell stopped dead and stared. She was obviously hesitating while she tried to find an answer that would be safe.
“Was it over a woman?” Tellie persisted.
Nell didn’t reply, but she flushed.
So that was it, Tellie thought. She must have been jealous of the mysterious Bella and said something to J.B. that hit him wrong. But, why would she have been jealous? She was almost certain that J.B. had never touched her intimately in their past.
“Honey, don’t try so hard to remember,” Nell cautioned. “Enjoy these few days and don’t try to think about the past.”
“Was it bad?” she wondered aloud.
Nell grimaced. “In a way, yes, it was,” she replied. “But I can’t tell you any more. I’ll get in trouble. It might damage you, to know too much too soon. Dr. Coltrain was very specific.”
Tellie gnawed her lower lip. “I’ve already graduated from high school, haven’t I?” she asked.
Nell nodded, reluctantly.
“Do I have a job?”
“You had a summer job, at the Ballenger Brothers feedlot. That’s where you met Grange.”
She felt a twinge of memory trying to come back. There was something between J.B. and Grange, something about a woman. Not the beauty contestant, but some other woman. There was a painful secret…
She caught her head and held it, feeling it throb.
Nell moved forward and took her by the shoulders. “Stop trying to force the memories,” she cautioned. “Take it one day at a time. Right now, let’s do some vacuuming. Then we’ll make a cake. You can invite Grange over to supper, if you like,” she added, inspired. “J.B. won’t be around to protest.”
Tellie smiled. “I’d enjoy that.”
“So would I. We’ll call him at the feedlot, when we’re through cleaning.”
“Okay.”
They did the necessary housekeeping and then made a huge chocolate pound cake. Grange was enthusiastic about coming for a meal, and Tellie was surprised at the warm feeling he evoked in her. It was friendly, though, not the tempestuous surging of her heart that she felt when she remembered the touch of J.B.’s hard lips on her mouth.
She had a suitcase that she didn’t remember packing. Inside was a pretty pink striped dress. She wore that, and light makeup, for the meal. Grange showed up on time, wearing a sports jacket with dress slacks, a white shirt and a tie. He paid for dressing. He was very good-looking.
“You look nice,” Tellie told him warmly as he followed her into the dining room, where the table was already set.
“So do you,” he replied, producing another bouquet of flowers from behind his back, and presenting them with a grin.
“Thanks!” she exclaimed. “You shouldn’t have!”
“You love flowers,” he said. “I didn’t think you had enough.”
She gave him a wary look. “Is that the whole truth?” she asked suspiciously and with a mischievous grin, “or did you think you’d irritate J.B. if I had more flowers in my room?”
He chuckled. “Can’t put anything past you, can I?” he asked.
“Thanks anyway,” she told him. “I’ll just put them in water. Sit down! Nell and I chased Albert out of the kitchen and did everything ourselves. I understand he’s down at the goldfish pond slitting his wrists…”
“He is not!” Nell exclaimed. “You stop that!”
Tellie grinned. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist it. He seems to think he owns the kitchen.”
“Well, he doesn’t,” Nell said. “Not until I leave for good.”
Leave. Leave. Tellie frowned, staring into space. Nell had quit. Tellie had been crying. Nell was shouting. J.B. was shouting back. It was raining…
Grange caught her as she fell and carried her into the living room. He put her down on the sofa. Nell ran for a wet cloth.
Tellie groaned as she opened her eyes. “I remembered an argument,” she said huskily. “You and J.B. were yelling at each other…”
Nell frowned. “You couldn’t have heard us,” she said. “You’d already run out the door, into the rain.”
Tellie could see the road, blinded by rain, feel the tires giving way, feel the car going into the ditch…!
She gasped. “I wrecked the car. I saw it!”
Nell sat down beside her and put an arm around her. “Grange saved you,” she told the younger woman. “He came along in time to stop you from drowning. The ditch the car went into was full of water.”
Tellie held the cloth to her forehead. She swallowed, and then swallowed again. There were odd, disturbing flashes. J.B.’s furious face. A blond woman, staring at her. There were harsh words, but she couldn’t remember what they were. She didn’t want to remember!
“Did I thank you for saving me?” she asked Grange, trying to ward off the memories.
He smiled worriedly. “Of course you did. How do you feel now?”
“Silly,” she said she
epishly as she sat up. “I’m sorry. There were some really odd flashbacks. I don’t understand them at all.”
“Don’t try to,” Nell said firmly. “Come on in here and eat. Let time take care of the rest.”
She got up, holding on to Grange’s arm for support. She drew in a long, slow breath. “One way and another, it’s been a rough few days,” she said.
“You don’t know the half,” Nell said under her breath, but she didn’t let Tellie hear her.
The next day was Saturday. Tellie went out to the barn to see the sick calf that was being kept there while it was being treated. In another stall was a huge, black stallion. He didn’t like company. He pawed and snorted as Tellie walked past him. He was J.B.’s. She knew, without remembering or being told. She moved to another stall, where a beautiful Palomino mare was eating from a feed trough. The horse perked up when she saw Tellie, and left her food to come to the front of the stall and nose Tellie’s outstretched hand.
“Sand,” Tellie murmured. She laughed. “That’s your name. Sand! J.B. lets me ride you!”
The horse nudged her hand again. She smoothed the white blaze between the mare’s eyes lazily. She was beginning to recover some memories. The rest, she was sure, would come in time.
She wandered past the goldfish pond on the patio and stared down at the pretty red and gold and white fish swimming around water lilies and lotus plants. The facade was stacked yellow bricks, and there were huge flat limestone slabs all around it, making an endless seat for people to watch the fish. There were small trees nearby and a white wrought-iron furniture set with a patio umbrella. In fair weather, it must be heavenly to sit there. She heard a car drive up and wondered who it was. Not J.B., she was sure. It was too soon for him to be back. Monday, Nell said, was the earliest they could expect him. Perhaps it was one of the cowboys.
It was a dreary day, not good exploring weather. She wondered how Marge and the girls were, and wanted to see them. She dreaded seeing J.B. again. Things had changed between them. She was uneasy when she considered that J.B. had left town so quickly afterward, as if his conscience bothered him. Or was it that he was afraid Tellie would start thinking about something serious? She knew so little about relationships…
