by Diana Palmer
She walked back through the side door into the living room and stopped suddenly. There was a beautiful blond woman standing in the doorway. She was wearing a yellow dress that fit her like a second skin. She had long, wavy, beautiful hair and a perfectly made-up face. She was svelte and sophisticated, and she was giving Tellie a look that could have boiled water.
“So you’re the reason I’ve had to be kept away from the house,” the woman said haughtily.
That blonde was familiar, Tellie thought suddenly, and she wanted to run. She didn’t want to talk to this person, to be around her. She was a threat.
The woman sensed Tellie’s discomfort and smiled coldly. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me?” she drawled. “Not after you walked right in and interrupted me and J.B. on that very sofa?”
Sofa. J.B. Two people in the sofa, both half-naked. J.B. furious and yelling. Nell rushing to see why Tellie was crying.
Tellie put her hands to her mouth as the memories began to rush at her, like daggers. It was all coming back. J.B. had called her ugly. A stray. He could never love her. He didn’t want her. He’d said that!
There was more. He’d missed her graduation from college and lied about it. He’d had his secretary buy Tellie a graduation present—he hadn’t even cared enough to do it himself. He’d accused Tellie of panting after him like a pet dog. He’d said he was sick of her…pawing him…trying to touch him.
She felt the rise of nausea in her throat like a living thing. She brushed past the blonde and ran for the hall bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She barely made it to the sink before she lost her breakfast.
“Tellie?”
The door opened. Nell came in, worried. “Are you all right? Oh, for goodness sake…!”
She grabbed a washcloth from the linen closet and wet it, bathing Tellie’s white face. “Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”
“That woman…” Tellie choked.
“I showed her the door,” Nell said coldly. “She won’t come back in a hurry, I guarantee!”
“But I recognized her,” Tellie said unsteadily. “She and J.B. were on the sofa together, half-naked. He yelled at me. He accused me of trying to paw him. He said he was sick of the way I followed him around. He said…” She swallowed the pain. “He said I was nothing but an ugly stray that he’d taken in, and that he could never want me.” Tears rolled down her cheek. “He said he never…wanted to see me again!”
“Tellie,” Nell began miserably, not knowing what to say.
“Why did he bring me here, after that?” she asked tearfully.
“He felt guilty,” Nell said gently. “It was his fault that you wrecked the car. You would have died, if Grange hadn’t found you.”
Tellie wiped her eyes with the wet washcloth. “I knew there was something,” she choked. “Some reason that he wasn’t giving me. Guilt. Just guilt.” Was that why he’d kissed her so hungrily, too? Was he trying to make amends for what he’d said? But it was only the truth. He didn’t want her. He found her repulsive…
The tears poured down her face. She wanted to climb into a hole. That beautiful blonde was J.B.’s woman. She’d come to Marge’s house with J.B., and she’d insulted Tellie. They’d argued, and J.B. had shown Tellie what a hold he had over her, using her weakness for him as a punishment. She closed her eyes. How could he have treated her so horribly?
“I want to go back to Marge’s house,” Tellie said shakily. “Before he comes home.” She looked into Nell’s eyes. “And then I never want to see him again, as long as I live!”
Ten
Nell couldn’t talk Tellie into staying at the house, not even when she assured her that J.B. wouldn’t be back until Monday. Tellie had remembered that Marge had a heart attack, and she was frantic until Nell assured her that Marge was going to be all right. It was even lucky that they’d found the high blood pressure before it killed her.
Now that Tellie remembered everything, there were no more barriers to her going to Marge. She remembered her job at the feedlot, as well, and hoped she still had it. But she phoned Justin at home and he assured her that her job would be waiting when she was recovered. That was a load off her mind.
She didn’t dare think about J.B. It was too terrible, remembering the hurtful things he’d said to her. She knew she’d never forgive him for the way he’d reacted when she’d tried to tell him about Marge, much less for his ardor when he knew there was no future in it. He’d taunted her with her feelings one time too many. She wondered what sort of cruel game he’d been playing in her bedroom at his house.
Marge and the girls met her at the door, hugging her warmly. Nell had driven her there, and she was carrying two suitcases.
“Are you sure about this?” Nell asked worriedly.
Marge nodded, smiling warmly. “You know you’re welcome here. None of us will yell at you, and we’ll all be grateful that we don’t have to depend on Dawn’s cooking for…”
“Mother!” Dawn exclaimed.
“Sorry,” Marge said, hugging her daughter. “I love you, baby, but you know you’re terrible in the kitchen, even if you can sing like an angel. Nobody’s perfect.”
“J.B. thinks he is,” Nell muttered.
Marge laughed. “Not anymore, I’ll bet. I hope you left him a note, at least.”
“I did,” Nell confessed. “Brief, and to the point. I hope that blond fashion doll of his can cook and clean.”
“That isn’t likely,” Tellie said coolly. “But they can always get takeout.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Marge asked Tellie, moving to hug her, too. “Your color’s bad.”
“So is yours, worrywart,” Tellie said with warm affection, returning the hug. “But I reckon the two of us will manage somehow, with a little help.”
“Between us,” Marge sighed, “we barely make one well person.”
“I’ll fatten you both up with healthy, nonsalty fare,” Nell promised. “Dawn and Brandi can see me to my room and help me unpack. Right?”
The girls grinned. “You bet!” they chorused, delighted to see the end of meal preparation and housework. Nell was the best in town at housekeeping.
They marched up the staircase together, the girls helping with the luggage.
Marge studied Tellie closely, her sharp eyes missing nothing. “You wouldn’t be here unless something major had happened. What was it?”
“My memory came back,” Tellie said, perching on the arm of the sofa.
“Did it have any help?” the older woman asked shrewdly.
Tellie grimaced, her eyes lowering to the sea-blue carpet. “Bella kindly filled me in on a few things.”
Marge cursed under her breath as forcefully as J.B. ever had. “That woman is a menace!” she raged. “Copper Coltrain said it would be dangerous for us to force-feed you facts about the past until you remembered them naturally!”
“I’m sure she only wanted J.B. to herself again, and thought she was helping him get me out of the way. I don’t mind,” Tellie added at once. “J.B. raised hell when Grange came and brought me roses. At least you’re not likely to mind that.”
Marge smiled. “No, I’m not. I like your friend Grange.”
Tellie’s eyes were sad and wise. “He’s been a wonderful friend. Who’d have thought he’d turn out to be pleasant company, with his background?”
“Not anyone locally, that’s for sure.” Marge sat down on the sofa, too. She was still pale. “Nothing wrong,” she assured Tellie, who was watching her closely. “The medicine still makes me a little dizzy, but it’s perfectly natural. Otherwise, I’m seeing an improvement all around. I think it’s going to work.”
“Goodness, I hope so,” Tellie said gently. She smiled. “We can’t lose you.”
“You aren’t going to. Nice of you to bring Nell with you,” she added wryly. “Housework and cooking was really getting to us, without you here. Did she come willingly?”
“She met me at the front door with her suitcase,” she repli
ed. “She was furious at what Bella had done. She thinks maybe J.B. put her up to it.”
Marge scowled. “That isn’t likely. Whatever his faults, J.B. has a big heart. He was really concerned about you.”
“He felt guilty,” Tellie translated, “because he felt responsible for the wreck. He yelled at me and said some terrible things,” she added, without elaborating. Her sad eyes were evidence enough of the pain he’d caused Tellie. “I couldn’t stay under his roof, when I remembered them.”
Marge picked at a fingernail. “That bad?”
Tellie nodded, averting her eyes.
“Then I suppose it’s just as well for you to stay here.”
“I don’t want to see him,” she told Marge. “Not ever again. He’s had one too many free shots at me. I’ll finish out the week at Ballenger’s when I get back on my feet, and then I’m going to ask my alma mater for an adjunct position teaching history for night students. I can teach at night and go to classes during the day. The semester starts very soon.”
“Is it wise, to run away from a problem?” the other woman queried.
“In this case, it’s the better part of valor,” she replied grimly. “J.B. didn’t just say unpleasant things to me, Marge, he actually taunted me with the way I felt about him. That’s hitting below the belt, even for J.B.”
“He did that?” Marge exclaimed.
“Yes. And that’s why I’m leaving.” She got up. She smiled at Marge. “Not to worry, you’ll have Nell to take over here for me, and pamper all three of you. I won’t have to be nervous about leaving you. Nell will make sure you do what the doctor says, and she’ll cook healthy meals for you.”
“J.B. is going to be furious when he gets home and finds you both gone,” Marge predicted. She was glad she wasn’t going to have to be the one to tell him.
It was dark and raining when J.B. climbed out of the limo he’d hired to take him to and from the airport. He signed the charge slip, tipped the driver with two big bills and carried his flight bag and attaché case up the driveway to the house.
It was oddly quiet when he used his key to open the front door. Usually there was a television going in Nell’s room, which could be heard faintly coming down the staircase. There were no lights on upstairs, and no smells of cooking.
He frowned. Odd, that. He put down his suitcase and attaché case, and opened the living room door.
Bella was stretched out on the sofa wearing a pink gown and negligee and a come-hither smile.
“Welcome home, darling,” she purred. “I knew you wouldn’t mind if I moved into my old room.”
He was worn-out and half out of humor. Bella’s mood didn’t help. What in the world must Tellie be thinking of this new development, despite her lack of memory.
“What did you tell Tellie?” he asked.
Her eyebrows arched. “I only reminded her of how she found us together the night your sister had to go to the hospital,” she drawled. “She remembered everything else just fine, after that, and she went to your sister’s.” She smiled seductively. “We’ve got the whole night to ourselves! I’m cooking TV dinners. They’ll be ready in about ten minutes. Then we can have champagne and go to bed…”
“You told her that?” he burst out, horrified.
She glowered, moving to sit up. “Now, J.B., you know she was getting on your nerves. You never go to those stupid seminars, you just wanted to get away from her.”
“That isn’t true,” he shot back. And it wasn’t. He’d gone to give Tellie, and himself, breathing space. Her ardent response had left his head spinning. For the first time in their relationship, Tellie had responded to him as a woman would, with passion and hunger. He hadn’t slept an entire night since, reliving the delicious interlude time after time. He’d had to leave, to make sure he didn’t press Tellie too hard when she was fragile, make sure he didn’t force memories she wasn’t ready for. He’d hoped to have time to show her how tender he could be, before she remembered how cruel he’d been. Now the chance was gone forever, and the source of his failure was sprawled on his sofa in a negligee planning to replace Tellie. He felt a surge of pure revulsion as he looked at Bella.
“Nell!” he called loudly.
“Oh, she went with the girl to your sister’s,” Bella said, yawning. “She left a note on your desk.”
He went to his study to retrieve it, feeling cold and dead inside. The note was scribbled on a memo pad. It just said that Nell was going to work for Marge, and that she hoped Bella was domesticated.
He threw it down on the desk, overwhelmed with frustration. Bella came up behind him and slid her arms around him.
“I’ll check on the TV dinners,” she whispered. “Then we can have some fun…”
He jerked away from her, his green eyes blazing. “Get dressed and go home,” he said shortly. He took out his wallet and stuffed some bills into her hand.
“Where are you going?” she exclaimed when he walked toward the front door.
“To get Nell and Tellie back,” he said shortly, and kept walking.
Bella actually screamed. But it didn’t do any good. He didn’t even turn his head.
Marge met him at the door. She didn’t invite him in.
“I’m sorry,” she said, stepping onto the porch with him. “But Tellie’s been through enough today. She doesn’t want to see you.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets, staring at her. “I leave town for two days and the world caves in on me,” he bit off.
“You can thank yourself for that,” his sister replied. Her dark eyes narrowed. “Was it necessary to use Tellie’s weakness for you against her like a weapon?”
He paled a little. “She told you?” he asked slowly.
“The bare bones, nothing more. It was low, J.B., even for you. Just lately, you’re someone I don’t know.”
His broad shoulders lifted and fell. “Grange brought back some painful memories.”
“Tellie wasn’t responsible for them,” she reminded him bluntly.
He drew in a sharp breath. “She won’t give up Grange. It’s disloyal.”
“They’re friends. Not that you’d recognize the reference. You don’t have friends, J.B., you have hot dates,” she pointed out. “Albert phoned and said your current heartthrob was preparing dinner for you. Frozen dinners, I believe…?”
“I didn’t ask Bella to move in while I was away!” he shot back. “And I sure as hell didn’t authorize her to fill Tellie in on the past!”
“I’m sure she thought she was doing you a favor, and removing the opposition at the same time,” Marge said, folding her arms across her chest. “I love you, J.B., but I’m your sister and I can afford to. You’re hard on women, especially on Tellie. Lately it’s like you’re punishing her for having feelings for you.”
His high cheekbones went ruddy. He looked away from Marge. “I didn’t want anything permanent, at first.”
“Then you should never have encouraged Tellie, in any way.”
He sighed roughly. He couldn’t explain. It flattered him, softened him, that Tellie thought the world revolved around him. She made him feel special, just by caring for him. But she hadn’t been able to give him passion, and he was afraid to take a chance on her without it. For years, he’d given up passionate love, he was afraid of it. When Tellie left for college he didn’t want her to be hurt, but he didn’t want to be hurt himself. He loved too deeply, too intensely. He couldn’t live with losing another woman, the way he’d lost his late fiancée. But now Tellie was a woman, and he felt differently. How was he going to explain that to Tellie if he couldn’t get near her?
“Tellie’s changed in the past few weeks. So have I.” He shifted. “It’s hard to put it into words.”
Marge knew that he had a difficult time talking about feelings. She and J.B. weren’t twins, but they’d always been close. She moved toward him and put a gentle hand on his arm. “Tellie’s going back to Houston in a week,” she said quietly. “Do her a favor, and leave
her alone while she finishes out her notice at the feedlot. Let her get used to being herself. Then maybe you can talk to her, and she’ll listen. She’s just hurt, J.B.”
“She wasn’t going back to school until fall semester,” he said shortly. “She’s been through a lot. She shouldn’t start putting pressure on herself this soon.”
“She doesn’t see it that way. She’s going to teach adult education at her college at night and attend classes during the day during summer semester.” She lowered her eyes to his chest. “I want her to be happy. She’s never going to be able to cope with the future until you’re out of her life. I know you’re fond of her, J.B., but it would be kinder to let her go.”
He knew that. But he couldn’t let her go, now that he knew what he wanted. He couldn’t! His face reflected his inner struggle.
Her hand closed hard on his forearm. “Listen to me,” she said firmly, “you of all people should know how painful it is to love someone you can’t have. Everyone knows you don’t want marriage or children, you just want a good time. Bella’s your sort of woman. You couldn’t hurt her if you hit her in the head with a brickbat, she’s so thick. Just enjoy what you’ve got, J.B., and let Tellie heal.”
He met her eyes. His were turbulent with frustrated need and worry. “I wanted to try to make it up to her,” he bit off.
“Make what up to her?”
He looked away. “So much,” he said absently. “I’ve never given her anything except pain, but I want to make her happy.”
“You can’t do that,” his sister said quietly. “Not unless you want her for keeps.”
His eyes narrowed in pain. He did want her for keeps. But he was afraid.
“Don’t try to make her into a casual lover,” Marge cautioned. “You’d destroy her.”
“Don’t you think I know?” he asked curtly. He turned away. “Maybe you’re right, Marge,” he said finally, defeated. “It would be kinder to let go for the time being. It’s just that she cared for me, and I gave her nothing but mockery and indifference.”
