Bed of Grass

by Janet Dailey

  "All that's left is to lug all this downstairs and out to the car," said Clara, taking a deep breath as she studied the pile of luggage and boxes in front of the staircase.

  "And to check downstairs," Valerie added, picking up one case and juggling another under the same arm. "We'd better be sure to get everything because I'm not coming back no matter what we leave behind," she declared grimly, and reached for the third.

  Leading the way, Valerie descended the stairs. Clara followed with one of the boxes. Tadd came bounding onto the porch as Valerie approached the door.

  "Open the door for me, Tadd," she called through the wire mesh.

  "I'm tired of playing, mom." He held the door open for her and stared curiously at the suitcase she carried. "What are you doing? Are you going somewhere?"

  "Yes. Don't let go of the door; Clara is right behind me," Valerie rushed when she saw him take a step to follow her.

  "Hurry up, Clara." Tadd waited impatiently for the stout woman to maneuver the box through the opening, then let the door slam and raced to catch up to Valerie. "Is Clara going, too?"

  "We're all going," Valerie answered, and set the eases on the ground next to the car. "Where are the keys for the trunk, Clara? Are they in the ignition?"

  "I'll bet they're in the house in my handbag," the woman grumbled, and set the box beside the luggage. "Stay here. I'll go and get them."

  "Where are we going, mom?" Tadd wanted to know, tugging at her skirt to get her attention.

  "We're going home," she told him, only Cincinnati didn't seem like home anymore. This place was home.

  "Home? To Cincinnati?" Tadd frowned.

  "Yes. Back to our apartment," Valerie answered sharply.

  "Is summer over already?" His expression was both puzzled and crestfallen, a sad light in his eyes.

  "No, not quite," she admitted, and glanced to the house. What was keeping Clara? Valerie could have been bringing out more of the boxes herself instead of standing there.

  "But I thought we were going to stay here until summer was over," Tadd reminded her. "That's what you said."

  "I changed my mind." Please, Valerie thought desperately, I don't want to argue with you.

  "Why are we leaving?" he asked. "If summer isn't over, why do we have to go back?"

  "Because I said we are." She wasn't about to explain the reasons to him. In the first place, he wouldn't understand. And in the second, it would be too painful. The breeze whipped a strand of hair across her cheek and she pushed it away with an impatient gesture.

  "But I don't want to go back," Tadd protested in a petulant tone.

  "Yes, you do," Valerie insisted.

  "No, I don't." His mouth was pulled into a mutinous pout.

  "What about all your friends?" Valerie attempted to reason with him. "Wouldn't you like to go back and play with them? It's been quite a while since you've ridden on Mike's Big Wheels. That was a lot of fun, remember?"

  "I don't care about Mike's dumb old Big Wheels," Tadd grumbled, the pouting mouth growing more pronounced. "It's not nearly as much fun as riding Ginger, anyway. I want to stay here."

  "We're not going to stay here. We're leaving. We're going back to Cincinnati." Valerie stressed each sentence with decisive emphasis. "So you might as well get that straight right now."

  "I don't want to go," he repeated, his voice raised in rebellious protest. "Judd said if we lived here, maybe I could have a puppy."

  "I'm not going to listen to any more talk about puppies!" Valerie retorted, her nerves snapping under the strain of his persistent arguing. "We're leaving, and that's final!"

  "Well, I'm not going!" Tadd shouted, backing away and breaking into angry tears.

  "Tadd." Valerie immediately regretted her sharpness, but he was already turning away and running toward the pasture. She could hear his sobbing. "Tadd, come back here!"

  But he ignored the command, his little legs churning faster. He was running into the lowering sun. Valerie shaded her eyes with her hand to shield out the glaring light. She waited for him to stop at the paddock fence, but instead he scooted under it and kept running.

  "Tadd, come back here!" she called anxiously.

  "I've got the keys." Clara came out of the house, dangling the car keys in front of her. "I couldn't remember where I had left my handbag. I finally found it underneath the kitchen table. If it were a snake, it would have bit me."

  "Would you pack all this in the trunk?" Valerie motioned to the luggage as she started toward the pasture. "I'd better get Tadd."

  "Where's he gone?" Frowning, Clara glanced around the yard, missing the small figure racing across the pasture.

  "I lost my temper with him because he said he didn't want to go," Valerie explained. "Now he's run off."

  "Let him be." Clara dismissed any urgency to the situation with a wave of her hand. "He's just going to sulk for a while. He'll be back. Meanwhile, he won't be underfoot."

  "I don't know…" Valerie answered hesitantly.

  "He won't go far," the other woman assured her as she walked to the car to unlock the trunk and begin arranging the luggage and boxes inside.

  "He was very upset." Gazing across, she could see Tadd had stopped running and was leaning against a tree to cry.

  "Of course he was upset," Clara agreed in a voice that disdainfully dismissed any other thought. "All children get upset when they don't get their way. You go right ahead and handle the situation any way you want. I don't want to be telling you how you should raise your kid."

  Valerie received her friend's subtle message that she was making a mountain out of a molehill and sighed, "You may be right."

  "If you're not going after him, you could give me a hand with some of this stuff. You're the one who was in such an all-fired hurry to leave," came the gruff reminder. Then Clara muttered to herself, "I get the feeling we're making our getaway after robbing a bank."

  When another glance at the pasture showed that Tadd was in the same place, Valerie hesitated an instant longer, then turned to help Clara with the luggage. A second trip into the house brought everything down from upstairs.

  A search of the ground floor added a box of belongings. Valerie carried it to the car. Her gaze swung automatically to the paddock, but this time there was no sign of Tadd. She walked to the fence and called him. The bay mare lifted its head in answer, then went back to grazing.

  What had been merely concern changed to worry as Valerie hesitantly retraced her steps to the house. The sounds coming from the kitchen located Clara for her. She walked quickly to that room.

  "You haven't seen Tadd, have you?" she asked hopefully. "He isn't in the pasture anymore and I thought he might have slipped into the house."

  "I haven't seen hide nor hair of him." Clara shook her wiry, frosted gray hair. "Would you look at all this food? It seems a shame to leave it."

  "We don't have much choice. It would spoil if we tried to take it with us." Valerie's response was automatic. "Where do you suppose Tadd is?"

  "Probably somewhere around the barns." The dismissing lift of Clara's wide shoulders indicated that she still believed he wasn't far away. "Since we haven't had any supper, I'll fix some sandwiches and snacks to take along with us. That way we'll get to use up some of this food and not leave so much behind."

  "I'm going to check the barns to see if Tadd is there," Valerie said with an uneasy feeling growing inside her.

  A walk through the barns proved fruitless and her calls went unanswered. She hurried back to the house to tell Clara.

  "He wasn't there," she said with a trace of breathless panic.

  "The little imp!" Clara wiped her hands on a towel. "He's probably off hiding somewhere."

  "Well, we can't leave without him," Valerie said, as if Clara had foolishly implied that they would, "I'm going to walk out to the pasture where I saw him last."

  "I'll check through the house to make sure he didn't sneak in here when we weren't looking." Clara put aside the food she was preparing for
the trip and started toward the other rooms.

  While Clara began a search of the house, Valerie hurried to the paddock. She ducked between the fence rails and walked swiftly through the tall grass to the tree on the far side of the pasture where she had last seen Tadd.

  "Tadd!" She stopped when she reached the tree and used it as a pivot point to make a sweeping arc of the surrounding country. "Tadd, where are you?" A bird chattered loudly in the only response she received. "Tadd, answer me!" Her voice rose on a desperate note.

  From the point of the tree there was a faint trail angling away from it, barely discernible by the tall, thick grass that had been pushed down by running feet. The vague path seemed to be heading in the opposite direction from the house. It was the only clue Valerie had and she followed it.

  It lead her to the boundary fence with Meadow Farms and beyond. Halfway across the adjoining pasture, the grass thinned. Grazing horses had cropped the blades too close to the ground. She lost the trail that had taken her this far, and stopped, looking around for any hint that would tell her which direction Tadd had gone.

  "Tadd, where are you going?" she muttered, wishing she could crawl inside her young son's mind and discover his intention.

  Did he know he had crossed onto the home farm of the Prescotts? It didn't seem likely. Despite the time they had spent there, Tadd wasn't familiar with the area beyond the farm and its immediate pastures. Yet it was possible that he knew the general direction of Meadow Farms' main quarters.

  But why would he go there? To see Judd and enlist his support to persuade her to stay? No, Valerie dismissed that idea. Tadd was too young to think in such terms. The idea of finding Judd wouldn't lead him to the Prescott house, but the puppies might.

  Hoping that she was reading his mind, she set off in the general direction of the Meadow Farms' buildings. Her pace quickened with her growing desire to find Tadd before he reached his destination. The last thing her panicking heart wanted was a confrontation with Judd. She had to find Tadd before he found the puppies and Judd.

  As she crossed the meadow, Valerie caught herself biting her lip. There was painful constriction in her chest and her breath was coming in half sobs. It did no good to try to calm her trembling nerves.

  The ground rumbled with the pounding of galloping hooves and she glanced up to see Judd on the gray hunter riding toward her. She looked around for somewhere to hide, but it was too late. He had already seen her. Besides, she had to know if he had found Tadd, regardless of whether Judd had learned of her intention to leave. At the moment, finding Tadd was more important.

  Judd didn't slow his horse until he was almost up to her. He dismounted before it came to a full stop. Then his long strides carried him swiftly toward her, holding the reins in his hand and leading the horse to her.

  "Have you seen Tadd?" Her worried gaze searched his grimly set features. "He ran off and I can't find him."

  "I know," said Judd, and explained tersely, "I phoned the house a few minutes ago to find out how you were feeling and Clara told me Tadd was missing." His large hand took hold of her arm and started to pull her toward the horse. "Come on."

  "No!" Valerie struggled in panic. "You don't understand. I have to find Tadd," she protested frantically.

  If Judd hadn't seen Tadd, it meant he was still out there somewhere, possibly lost. The shadows cast by the sun were already long. Soon it would be dusk. She had to find him before darkness came, and there was a lot of ground yet to be covered. That knowledge made her resist Judd's attempt to take her with him all the more wildly.

  "Dammit, Valerie. Stop it! You're coming with me," Judd snapped with savage insistence. Her arms became captured by the iron grip of his hands.

  "No, I won't!" she protested violently. "I won't!"

  A hard shake jarred her into silence. "Will you listen to me?" His angry face was close to hers, his eyes glittering into hers in hard demand. "I have a feeling," he said tightly. "I think I know where Tadd is. Now, will you come with me or do I have to throw you over my shoulder and take you with me?"

  Tears of panic had begun to scorch her eyes. She blinked at them and nodded her head mutely. But Judd didn't alter his hold. He seemed determined to hear her voice an agreement before he believed her.

  "I…I'll come with y-you." She managed to force out a shaky agreement.

  His hands shifted their grip from her arms to her waist. He lifted her up to sit sideways on the front of the saddle. Then he swung up behind her, his arms circling her to hold the reins and guide the gray.

  The horse lunged into a canter, throwing Valerie against Judd's chest. The arm around her waist tightened to offer support. The solidness of his chest offered comfort and strength. Valerie let herself relax against it. She hadn't realized how heavy the weight of concern had been for Tadd's whereabouts until Judd had taken on half of the burden.

  Through the cotton skirt of her sundress she could feel the hard muscles of his thighs. Her gaze swept up to study his face through the curl of her gold-tipped lashes. The jutting angle of his jaw and the line of his mouth were set with grim purpose. He slowed the horse as they entered a grouping of trees and wound their way through them.

  As if feeling her look, he glanced down and the light in his green eyes became softly mocking. "When you were spitting at me in all your fury, did you really believe I was going to try to keep you from finding our son?"

  "I didn't know," Valerie answered, uncertain now as to what she had believed his intention was.

  "I guess I have given you cause in the past to question my motives," Judd admitted.

  "Sometimes," she agreed, but she didn't question them now.

  His gaze was drawn beyond her and he reined in the gray. "Look," he instructed quietly.

  Valerie turned and saw a familiar grassy clearing. They had stopped on the edge of it. In the middle of it, a small figure lay on his stomach, a position in which Tadd had cried himself to sleep.

  Her gaze lifted in stunned wonderment to Judd's face. "How?" she whispered.

  "I can't begin to explain it." He shook his head with a similar expression of awed confusion mixed with quiet acceptance of the fact. His gaze wandered gently back to hers. "Any more than I can explain how I knew Tadd would be here."

  Valerie remembered stories of the salmon finding their way back to their spawning grounds and wondered if Tadd possessed that same mysterious instinct in order to be led here. It was a miracle that filled her with a glowing warmth.

  Judd swung off the horse and reached up to lift her down. His look, as their eyes met, mirrored her marvelous feeling. When her feet were on the ground, her hands remained on his shoulders as she stood close to him, unmoving.

  "It's right, isn't it?" Judd murmured. "It proves that what we shared here was something special."

  "Yes," Valerie agreed, a throb of profound emotion in her answer.

  His mouth came down on hers to seal the wonder of their blessing. The closeness they shared was marked by a spiritual union rather than mere physical contact. The beauty of it filled Valerie with a sublime sense of joy such as she had never experienced in his arms. It was nearly as awe-inspiring as the miracle they had witnessed.

  When they parted, she was incapable of speech. Judd let her turn from his arms and followed silently as she made her way across the clearing to the place where their son lay. She knelt beside him, staring for a moment at his sleeping tear-streaked face.

  "Tadd, darling." Her voice sounded husky and unbelievably loving. "Wake up! Mommy's here."

  He struggled awake, blinking at her with the misty eyes of a child that had suffered a bad dream and still wasn't certain it had ended. She smoothed the rumpled mop of brown hair on his forehead and wiped his damp cheek with her thumb.

  "Mommy?" His voice wavered.

  "I'm here," she assured him.

  "I didn't mean to run away." His lips quivered. "I was going to come back after I got a puppy. But I couldn't find Judd's house, and I…I couldn't find you."


  "It doesn't matter," Valerie said to dismiss the remnants of his fear. "We found you."

  She gathered him into her arms, letting his arms wind around her neck in a strangling hold as he began to cry again. Judd crouched down beside them, his hand reaching out to hold Tadd's shoulder.

  "It's all right, son," he offered in comfort. "We're here. There's nothing to be frightened about anymore."

  Tadd lifted his head to stare at Judd, sniffling back his tears. Almost immediately he turned away and buried his face against Valerie. Hurt flickered briefly in Judd's eyes at the rejection in Tadd's action.

  "I think he's embarrassed to have you see him cry," Valerie whispered the explanation.

  The stiffness went out of Judd's smile. "Everyone cries, Tadd, no matter how old he is," he assured the small boy, and was rewarded with a peeping look. Like Tadd, Valerie had difficulty in imagining that Judd had ever cried in his life, but his quiet words of assurance had eased the damage to a small boy's pride. "Come on," said Judd, rising to his feet, "it's almost dark. It's time we were getting you home."

  Tadd's arms remained firmly entwined around her neck. At Judd's questioning look, Valerie responded, "I can carry him," and lifted her clinging son as she rose.

  Judd mounted the gray horse and reached down for Valerie to hand him Tadd. When Tadd was positioned astride the gray behind him, Judd slipped his foot from the left stirrup and helped Valerie into the saddle in front of him. The gray pranced beneath the extra weight.

  "Hang on, Tadd," Judd instructed, and a pair of small arms obediently tightened around his waist. Judd turned the gray horse toward the farmhouse.

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  Chapter Ten

  TWILIGHT WAS PURPLING THE SKY as they approached the house. Judd reined the gray horse toward the paddock gate and leaned sideways to unlatch it, swinging it open and riding the horse through. Stopping in front of the porch, he reached behind him and swung Tadd to the ground, then dismounted to lift Valerie down.