Gift of Honor

by Alexa Aston

  Elinor’s face was thinner than when he’d last seen her but she was as he remembered. He stroked her hair softly, not wanting to awaken her but unable to keep from touching her. She murmured something and he bent close, his ear near her lips.

  “Hal.”

  ’Twas all she said but it moved him to his very core. Her soft, warm breath tickled his ear. Hal lifted his head and stared at the face that he’d searched for. The one he wanted to see every day of his life and never be parted from again. His palm nestled against her cheek. Elinor sighed. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly, causing that sweet dimple to appear.

  And then she opened her eyes.

  *

  Elinor awoke, burrowing toward the warmth near her face. Her eyelids fluttered open and she tried to understand the dream. It made her think she was awake because the warm hand resting against her cheek belonged to Hal. She saw him drink her in, deep longing in his eyes.

  Wait. This was no dream.

  Elinor sat up with a start and edged away from the knight, her back pressing into the wall behind her as her heart pounded loudly, the blood roaring in her ears. He had come for her. She would be dragged back to Whitley to atone for her role in Lady Rohesia’s death, all at the hands of the man she had fallen in love with. The fact that he knew her to be a murderess was hard enough to deal with but to find he would be the one responsible for bringing her to justice was more than she could bear.

  Panicked, Elinor threw back the covers and leaped from the bed. She had to escape. Now.

  She reached the door and before she could open it, Hal’s strong arms encircled her waist and above her breasts. He yanked her to him. She strained against the rock-hard chest, her hands beating against his thighs in a futile effort to find release. But he was having none of that. His grip tightened around her.

  Elinor gave up. It was over. She couldn’t break free nor could she outrun him. Like an animal who had stepped into a snare, she had been captured for good—and would now lose her life for a single mistake.

  Hot tears spilled down her cheeks as she went limp. Callused fingers tenderly wiped the tears from her face. Hal’s lips hovered near her ear, causing a tingle to ripple through her.

  “Elinor. Talk to me. What is wrong? Why do continue to flee from me?”

  She heard the hurt in his voice, hurt she had put there. Her head fell back against his chest. His hand dropped to her throat and stroked it, his thumb moving up and down. Despite her misgivings about his presence, something stirred inside her. The pull came from her womanly parts and started to pulse with need. Her body remembered his touch and cried out for it.

  Hal turned her in his arms. Elinor couldn’t back away with the door nudging her from behind. He caged her between it and his body, his palms flat against the wood.

  “Does my love so repulse you that you must run from me?”

  Confusion roiled through her. Merryn had told Elinor that Hal loved her but that had been before he sought her out at Whitley. Surely, he now knew her grievous actions had caused Rohesia Swan’s death. He couldn’t possibly love her.

  Could he?

  He lowered his forehead until it rested against hers. She inhaled the familiar scent and longed to taste him. They stood together this way for some minutes until Elinor thought he was trying to lull her into a false sense of confidence. Why was he toying with her, as a cat did a mouse, pretending to feel some great affection for her?

  Then his arms fell away. His hands found hers and he threaded their fingers together.

  Hal lifted his head and met her gaze. “Hear me out, Elinor. Please.”

  His voice cracked on the last word. A flood of tenderness swept through her. She nodded mutely.

  “You not only healed me physically but emotionally. I was broken and did not even know it. You gave me a gift—the gift of rediscovering myself. With you, I learned to be the man I once was. And the one I want to remain.”

  His fingers tightened around hers. “I left so many things unsaid before we parted but I feared I had taken advantage of you when you returned from Jasper’s burial. I longed to tell you how much I care for you. Desire you. Need you. How much I always want you by my side.”

  Hal gave her a crooked grin. “I love you, Elinor. I believe we are soul mates. I want to see your face next to mine when I awaken each day after having spent the night holding you in my arms.”

  His words left her with unanswered questions. “Then . . . then . . . why did you leave me? Why did you not say what was in your heart?”

  “Because I’d never told a woman that I loved her. I didn’t know how.”

  Elinor drew in a sharp breath.

  “Though we’d spent hours talking, I had never told you who I truly am—a knight of the realm. One who served King Richard at his court and had flirted with hundreds of women who meant nothing to me. I was afraid you would think a match between us impossible.” His eyes fell. “I am ashamed to tell you that I was afraid you would choose your falcons over me.”

  She found it hard to take in everything he said.

  Hal continued. “I stupidly thought if I declared my love for you, you would turn away. I hoped my absence from Whitley would help you realize that we were meant to be together. And I did want my family to know I was unharmed. England is in turmoil, Elinor. I know you haven’t heard what is happening in our kingdom since you’ve lived in isolation for so long, but battles have been waged as to who should hold the power to rule. I owed it to my loved ones to let them know I was alive.

  “And that I’d found the woman who would become my wife. If she would have me.”

  Elinor trembled at those words. “But surely you could have found another at court? Someone to love—”

  “The royal court is the last place to find love, sweetheart. ’Tis full of conniving schemers who speak falsely.” His determined gaze warmed her blood. “God sent me to you, my love. He gave us time alone to be who we truly are, with no other trappings.”

  Hal’s eyes heated with desire. Elinor’s bones began to melt.

  “Tell me you feel the same about me as I do you,” he said, his voice rough. “Tell me your heart has told you that we should be together forever.”

  “Aye.”

  Chapter 22

  Her whispered word was all he needed.

  Hal’s mouth crashed down on hers. His body pressed Elinor against the door.

  But she tensed under his fingers and he realized how overwhelmed she must be. His kiss should not only convey his desire for her but should also let her know how much he cherished her. He forced his own body to relax from the weeks of tension coiled inside and brushed his lips softly against hers, over and over. He released her fingers and brought his hands to rest against her waist.

  Slowly, he ran his tongue along the seam of her lips, teasing her mouth open. She responded and gave him entrance into heaven.

  Holy Christ . . .

  Hal had forgotten how sweet this woman tasted. He took his time, gently exploring her mouth with his tongue and smiled when hers began to mate with his. Soon, Elinor was an active participant in their kiss and he let her take the lead. Her hands crept up his chest and came to rest along his shoulders. She kneaded him as a kitten might, bringing a swell of deep emotion within him.

  His palms glided up her ribcage, his thumbs slowly weaving back and forth under the curve of her breasts. She murmured into his mouth and though he didn’t know what she said, it encouraged him. He cupped each breast and kneaded them as she had done with him. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders as he dragged each thumb across her nipples. They puckered in need. Elinor sighed, causing his manhood to rise to attention, brushing against her belly.

  He leaned into her now, the door supporting her, as he broke the kiss and allowed his tongue to run down her pale throat and back up. He brought it to her ear and outlined it before gently sinking his teeth into her earlobe. Her gasp of surprise—and satisfaction—swept through him as his heart slammed against his rib
s.

  Reluctantly, Hal released her earlobe and lowered his hands, encircling her waist again. Elinor pressed her heated body against his, the back of her fingers stroking his neck before she tugged his head back to her.

  “Wait,” he told her, his hands capturing her wrists. “I want to give all of myself to you, my love, and I want all of you in return. Do you wish for us to be together in the way a man loves a woman? If you’d rather wait until we’re wed, I will understand.” He kissed her swiftly. “But we will need to stop soon if you do.”

  Any lingering doubts melted from her eyes and Hal only saw trust within them. This bond of trust would be the foundation for everything they built together for their rest of their lives.

  “I’m not certain of everything that is to come between us,” Elinor began, “but I only know how my body craves your touch. I want everything from you. Everything you can give me. Love me, Hal. I am yours. Now and forevermore.”

  Barely had the words left her mouth when he swept her into his arms. Hal took Elinor to the bed and placed her on it. He lifted the hem of her man’s tunic and pulled it over her head. Her arms went straight up to allow him to remove it. Another, lighter one lay underneath it and he pulled it away, too. Perfect, creamy globes greeted him. Hal stared in awe. Elinor lowered her arms and her gaze fell as a blush crossed her cheeks.

  He lifted her chin with two fingers until their eyes met. “You have no reason to be self-conscious, sweetheart. You are beautiful.”

  “Really?” she asked, wonder in her voice.

  He realized she had never been told so before. “Aye. Everything about you is beautiful. Your rich, brown hair. Those warm, brown eyes. The dimple that creases your cheek when you smile at me.”

  She smiled and he tenderly kissed the dimple.

  “And your body, love.” He brought his fingers to her breasts and began to rub them. A small moan escaped from her. Holding her gaze, he said, “I look forward to exploring every inch of you.”

  Her eyes widened before a teasing smile crossed her lips. “And will be able to do the same with you?” she boldly asked.

  Heat sizzled through him. “If you wish.”

  Elinor cocked her head to the side as if she considered it a moment. “I think I would like that. Very much.”

  Hal couldn’t help but laugh and she joined in with him. He eased her back onto the bed, his lips finding her throat again before trailing down the valley between her breasts. He lavished attention on one, nipping and licking until she writhed under him before turning to enjoy the other one. As he sucked on one and Elinor’s fingers pushed into his hair, he heard satisfaction in the small sounds she made.

  Gradually, his lips made their way down the tender, white flesh of her belly. Her fingers continued raking through his hair, making his scalp tingle and sending a delicious ripple from his head down his spine. He had hit more clothing, though, and raised his mouth from her. He worked her pants down her legs and removed her boots before he discarded both. Leisurely, he worked his way back up, his fingers brushing against the sweet curve of her calves and gliding along the silken skin of her inner thighs.

  When his mouth reached her apex, Elinor suddenly pushed him away.

  “Nay,” she said firmly. “You have seen me bare. I want to see you the same way. Now.”

  A wide grin spread across his face. “At your service, my lady,” he said smoothly.

  Hal climbed off the bed and took his time in removing his clothes and boots. He wanted Elinor to see what she had committed herself to and give her time to change her mind if she so desired. He enjoyed watching her face as he tossed aside each bit of clothing he wore. Finally, he stood before her, naked.

  “Are you pleased with what you see?” he asked, hoping she was.

  “Not yet,” she said saucily. “I want to touch you.” She swallowed. “I need to touch you.”

  He lay on the bed next to her, his back against the mattress. “Explore as you wish.”

  And she did.

  Hal soon craved those slender fingers, which left nothing undisturbed. She stroked his arms, grasping his forearms and biceps. Her fingers danced along his chest, toying with the hairs there, smoothing and teasing them. Elinor’s lips kissed his and trailed downward, eventually reaching his nipples, where her tongue playfully glided around and across them.

  By this time, his manhood had grown so hard, he ached for release. Her hand came lower and encircled his shaft. Hal sucked in a quick breath. She began running her fingers along it.

  “The head is like fine silk but the rest is so hard,” she marveled. She pressed a kiss upon it. When her tongue lightly flicked against it, Hal grabbed her and roughly brought her against his chest.

  “Did I do something wrong?” she asked, her voice small.

  “Nay.” He gave her a long, lingering kiss. “’Twas very right,” he assured her. “But I want you so badly that if you continued to do that, I might explode.”

  Her hands cupped his cheeks. “Then what should I do?”

  He rolled her to her back and rose over her, his large body covering hers. “I would like us to join together. Only if you truly wish it.”

  Elinor’s eyes shone with trust—and love. “I do. More than anything.”

  His fingers found and parted her fold. She was definitely ready for him. Hal slid a finger inside her and she gasped and tightened around it.

  “Your body remembers me,” he told her. “Let me give you pleasure and then you can return the favor.”

  He brought her to the edge of climax twice and pulled back each time, her breath growing quick and short and her face flushed. Knowing he had teased her long enough, he found her nub and rubbed it with his thumb, pressing just hard enough to hear the hitch in her breath. Her hips began to rise and buck against him.

  “That’s it, sweetheart. Come for me,” he encouraged softly.

  His fingers continued to work as her climax hit. Elinor’s nails dug into his back as her small moans became much louder and longer. Hal let her ride the wave of pleasure and as it began to subside, he quickly slipped his shaft into her with a single thrust.

  “Oh!” she cried out, startled.

  He remained motionless, allowing her body to get use to him. “’Tis the only time it will hurt. I had to break through your maidenhead,” he explained as he covered her face in soft kisses.

  “It did hurt. But it doesn’t now.”

  “Good.”

  Hal began rocking slowly with her, withdrawing and plunging into her tight sweetness again and again. Elinor clung to him, her cries coming louder.

  “’Tis happening again,” she got out.

  “Go with it,” he ground out as he reached his own release and roared in triumph as they both found the heights of happiness together.

  Hal collapsed and not wanting to crush Elinor, immediately rolled to his side, still inside her. He had coupled with more women than he could count yet, in this moment, he realized ’twas the first time he had ever made love.

  With the woman he loved.

  He wrapped his arms about her. “I love you,” he said, over and over. “I plan to love you this way every day for the rest of our lives. I will never leave you unless called to the king’s service and if that happens?” He kissed her tenderly. “Know that I will always come home to you. For where you are, that is where my home will always be.”

  Elinor’s head rest against his beating heart. “I love you so much, Hal. Whatever happens, I hope you’ll always remember that.”

  Hal barely heard her words as he drifted off to sleep.

  *

  Elinor experienced complete bliss as she lay in her beloved’s arms. She had no words for the powerful emotions running through her.

  Hal completed her. She never knew what had been missing from her life until he entered it. It was a revelation, one that she would hold on to once they parted. It had been selfish of her to allow him to make love to her, knowing they would never marry. Somehow, despite his trip
to Whitley to locate her, Hal hadn’t yet learned of her terrible crime.

  But Elinor had knowledge of the death she had caused. Because of it, she could not allow a marriage to occur between them. Hal was a good, kind man. A respected knight of the realm. To wed an outlaw such as herself would be unthinkable. She knew how he valued his family and would not want to destroy their good name—or his.

  It was time to leave. Elinor must disappear for good this time. Make her way across the English border into Scotland, as she had planned. Hal would never think to hunt for her there.

  The decision would only grow harder the longer she remained next to him. She listened to his beating heart under her ear and savored the feel of his naked body next to hers. Gently, she raised her head and turned away from him.

  “Don’t go,” he murmured. His fingers caught her wrist and pulled her back to him. One hand caressed the curve of her hip as his warm lips pressed against her neck.

  Hal made love to her again, slow and sweet, bringing Elinor to a high that dazzled her. Nestled in his arms once more, he began to talk to her about all that he hadn’t shared before, starting with his siblings.

  “Alys and Ancel are twins. Alys is the elder by a minute and never lets anyone forget it. She is a healer, as Mother is. Kit worships the ground she trods upon. ’Tis the same between Ancel and Margery. They are true partners in every way and cherish one another.”

  He told her of the twins and how they came to marry their spouses. Where they lived and the names of their children. Hal had a fine way of describing things so that she could see each person he spoke of and the places they lived.

  “I am closest to Edward. He is two years younger than I am and became my shadow as we grew up. We fostered together at Winterbourne, as pages and then squires. My parents are close friends with the earl and countess and their sons are as cousins to me.”