Ruth (An Insensate Novella) (The Dissolute Trilogy Book 2)

by Michelle Horst

  I wake up, and I’m surprised to find that Ruth has snuggled up against me during the night. She somehow got a hold of my arm. The woman has a death-grip when it suits her.

  I place my hand on her hip and freeze. My throat dries up like the badlands in the middle of a real harsh summer. I lift myself slightly and glare down at my hand, as if it is its fault for trespassing on its own. The shirt she’s wearing has inched up, and if I were to move my hand a few more inches, I’d be at heavens gates. Now if I were to get up, I’d have a perfect view.

  But, again I don’t do any of that. I grip her hip tighter for a second, just taking in the feel of her beneath my fingers before I pull back and cover her.

  I go get her some clothes and leave it on the bed with a note. I’m all about choices and even she has to make her own.

  If she stays I will protect her. If she goes there is nothing I can do.

  ~*~

  Chapter Five

  Roland~

  I’m a little surprised that Ruth chose to stay. She’s adapting much better than I thought she would. With every minute passing she trusts me more, and that’s a very good thing. She has to trust me in order for me to keep her safe.

  It’s been a long day, fighting with Sam and trying to teach Ruth how to hold a gun.

  All she wants is to feel safe and I want to keep her safe. We have an understanding that none of the others understand. I’ve never wanted to protect someone as much as I want to protect her.

  I bring her back to my room and I can’t stop myself from kissing her. To the Dissolute a kiss is nothing, but I know how much it means to the Virtuous. I know how much it means to Ruth.

  She’s mine now, and I’ll kill anybody who touches her.

  The next morning I wake up to an empty bed and I’m not one to panic, but I do when I don’t see Ruth in the room.

  “Ruth!” I call.

  Not even a second later the bathroom door swings open and she looks at me worried.

  “Yes?” She’s dressed, standing with the brush in her hand.

  “Nothing, just worried when I didn’t see you,” I say, feeling calmer.

  She walks toward me and frowns as she looks down.

  “Really?” she asks. “You were worried?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” I counter her with a question.

  “You don’t come across as someone who would worry about others,” she whispers, looking down at her feet.

  I take hold of her hand and tug her closer.

  “When it’s someone I care about, I worry about that person.”

  She looks up, surprise making her eyes go all wide again.

  “You care about me?” she asks all shocked.

  “Uhm … yeah, I might be the resident badass but when it comes to you I actually have a heart, who would’ve known?” I try to joke it away.

  She climbs onto the bed next to me. Her eyes go soft as she leans closer. “You can act as grumpy as you want, I know your secret now,” she says, smiling at me.

  “What’s that?” I ask, playing along. I’m trying hard not to smile but it’s as if my lips have a mind of their own when she’s around. I can’t help but smile.

  “You have a heart, but I won’t tell anyone.” She leans down and presses a lingering kiss on my lips, before slipping away from me. She walks over to the window and starts to brush her hair and it’s one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen.

  I grab some clothes and go into the bathroom. I feel as light as air, while I brush my teeth and wash up.

  “Roland.” I hear Ruth’s panicked whisper, and it makes every hair on my body rise. I’ve heard her scared before, but I’ve never heard her voice hold so much terror before.

  I yank the bathroom door open and my eyes go wildly over her. She’s not hurt. Then only do I see the tracker on the other side of the window and he’s pointing a gun right at her.

  “Ruth, listen to me. You’re fast. You are faster than he is. Don’t think about it. Just run to me. Now!” I yell, hoping she’ll listen to me.

  She darts my way, and I breathe, because my Ruth has some serious speed when she needs it most. I lunge at her and grab hold her arm, yanking her into the bathroom. I duck for the bed as the window splinters with the first blast. I fling the bed on its side and get behind it for cover. Not wasting any time I grab the guns from where I keep them taped to the base. I strap a gun and knife to my thigh, tuck a gun behind my back and make sure the other two are loaded.

  “Roland!” Ruth shrieks, from the bathroom door, as another blast echoes into the room.

  “Get back, baby. Let me handle this,” I say calmly. It doesn’t help to panic. Panicking will only get us killed.

  I raise both guns as I get up. I ignore Ruth’s cry as another blast goes off, and pull the trigger. The Tracker drops, and I wait five seconds before I move to the window. I put another bullet in its head. Blasts ring through the ward, and I run for Ruth.

  “You stay behind me at all times. If I say duck you fall flat. If I say run you run until you hear me say stop, otherwise you keep running until you can’t run anymore. Do you understand?” I say urgently.

  “Yes,” she whispers, and hate that the fear is back in her eyes.

  “Take this. You shoot anything that is dressed like that one. Blue and yellow is not friendly any more, they are dead like that target. If you don’t shoot it, it will shoot you. You’re not killing a person, you’re stopping an Insensate. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” she whispers, and I can only hope she’ll use the gun if her life depends on it.

  I take her hand and place it against my waist. “Take hold, and don’t let go for anyone. I’m all that matters,” I remind her.

  “You’re all that matters,” she whispers, repeating my words.

  I open the door slowly and glance up and down the tunnel. It’s empty. I move fast and Ruth sticks to me like a shadow. Blasts echo on the other side of the door as I punch in the code. I nudge the door open slowly. Two Insensates are right in front of me and I don’t hesitate. Ruth presses hard into me as my shots echoes in the small space. They drop and I step over them, going for the Drill Zone first, that’s where my group would’ve gone and they’ll be cornered.

  I do a quick scan of the bathroom before I duck into the commons. My heart stutters and I reach for Ruth, keeping her behind me as I take out the Tracker standing over Jasper. If she sees him dead, she’s going to freak.

  “Baby, close your eyes for me,” I say, forcing calm into my voice. I feel her press her face into my back. This isn’t working for me. “Keep them closed, and come around the front of me real quick.” The second she is in front of me I crouch down. “Remember the way I carried you yesterday. I want you to do the same now, get on and hold on tight. I can’t move with you behind me.” She reaches her arms around my neck immediately, not questioning anything I say. I lift her to me and she clamps her legs around my waist, holding on real tight.

  I move to the archway when she makes a strangled sound. Dammit! I didn’t tell her to keep her eyes closed. She tightens her hold on me even more. I have to keep going. I can’t waist any more time.

  In the sleeping quarters it’s another ugly picture. I back out real fast and head for the Drill Zone.

  “Sam!” Panic spreads through my chest when I hear no more gunshots.

  “In here,” he calls back from inside and I run.

  “You okay?” I run down the track, trying to look everywhere at once. He’s lying flat on one of the scaffoldings. He has a good view of the entrance from there and can pick the Insensates off one at a time if they come in.

  “Yeah, I figured I’d wait them out,” he says, smiling.

  As I round the corner I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “Vine, baby, you okay?” I ask, and she breaks out into a full out sprint. “Lower your legs for me, Ruth.” I put Ruth down in time to catch Vine.

  “They didn’t get you,” she squeals in my damn ear.

  “Of
course not. I’m not the first line of defense for no reason. Let’s get out of here.” My words aren’t even cold when a deafening sound echoes through the whole ward, making even the ground shake.

  “What the hell was that?” Sam asks, getting up.

  I look at him as shock registers. “The wall, they’ve taken the wall out!”

  I shove Vine to the side and run for the cabinets. “Where are Mike, Nate and Raze?” she asks, her voice filled with hope. Vine stops next to me, taking a gun. “Where are they?”

  I shake my head as answer. Sam helps stuff as many guns as we can into the two bags we placed in the cabinet for this sole purpose. A blast echoes through the dome and we all look up, then at each other, and it’s then I realize Ruth isn’t standing with us. I go ice cold.

  I run as fast as I can to the track, to where I left her. My eyes jump wildly between the entrance of the dome and where I left her. I find her on her knees, holding the gun with both her hands. There’s a tracker lying a few inches from her.

  “Ruth!” I launch forward. I crouch over her, my eyes trying to take in her whole person all at once to make sure she’s not hurt. “Are you hurt?” I finally manage to whisper.

  She shakes her head slowly, just staring blankly.

  “I’m so sorry, baby!” I pick her up, hugging her tightly to me. “Hold on tight.” Her grip isn’t as tight, but she’s holding onto me. I kick at the Tracker and put a bullet in its head. This time she doesn’t flinch, but I hold her tightly to me, and there is no way I’m putting her down.

  “Let’s go!” I’ve had enough. “We need to warn the main ward.” As we pass the sleeping quarters my eye catches movement. I back track and I almost shoot Raze as she crawls from under Mike. “I thought you were dead,” I say like a damn idiot.

  She looks around her, then down at Mike. “Knocked out when he tackled me.” She crouches down and pushes at Mike’s shoulder. “Come on, we have to go,” she says to him as if he’ll get up and come at her command.

  “Raze!” I snap. She’s in shock and clearly not seeing the blood on his back. She looks up at me and now that I have her attention I spell it out to her. “Mike is dead. Come to me.”

  She looks down at him again and sucks in a strangled breath. She lets it out slowly and then walks over to me.

  “Take the gun behind me,” I say, watching her closely.

  I feel her tug it out and then she looks me right in the eye. “Let’s go hunt Insensate.”

  “That’s my girl,” I say, and smile at her.

  ~*~

  Sam and Vine take the left tunnel and not even a second later there’s gunfire, and lots of it.

  “Damn!” I run and Raze follows. We come into the tunnel, in time to see Sam and Vine duck into the animal enclosure.

  “Hold back,” I snap to Raze, “We’ll pick them off from here as they go for Sam and Vine.”

  The first one comes and we both take it down. And then all hell breaks loose. It’s like a sea of blue and yellow. I let go of Ruth and grab the gun by my leg so I have more fire power. “Get behind me, Ruth,” I yell, as the first shot hits into the ground next to Raze.

  She slides down against me and I hear her do that strangled shriek thing. Her whole body jerks against me, as a blast sounds up from right next to my waist. I glance behind me, and it’s only then I notice the door behind us is gone.

  “We’re open from behind, Raze!” I snap. I grab Ruth and shove her against the wall. I step in front of her, covering her with my body.

  A bullet grazes my arm and slams into the wall, inches from Ruth’s head.

  “Hell no! There is no way you are getting her.” My voice dips low as rage burns through me.

  They drop fast and I can only hope Sam and Vine are okay. We finally manage to make our way to the animal enclosure. Nate has taken one to the back. It’s just a mess!

  “Sam!” I yell.

  “You gotta start yelling before you come in. I’m kinda feeling real trigger happy at the moment,” he says as he gets up from behind the dead cows.

  “You can start showing signs of life before I have to call every time. Just say yo, or something, every once in a while.”

  “You’re taking a bit of stress?” he asks.

  “Now what gives you that idea?” I snap.

  “You just said yo, I mean seriously, not even I use that word.”

  “Really, we’re gonna have a conversation about a damn word right now?”

  “Nah, but we made the girls smile,” he says, smiling.

  “You’re an ass, Sam Riley,”

  “I’m a sexy ass,” he jokes as we walk out into the tunnel.

  “Keep it up and you’ll be a dead ass,” I growl. I reach for Ruth, lifting her over the bodies. “Oh yeah, and my woman took out two Trackers,” I say, feeling all proud. Her hand isn’t even shaking anymore.

  “I never said she couldn’t,” Sam says, smiling at Ruth.

  When we get outside my stomach drops. The deafening sound we heard was the wall, being blown to pieces. We have no wall to protect us.

  “We better move quickly. Eyes and ears open. Whisper from here on out,” I whisper urgently to bring my point across.

  Time flies when you’re fighting a war. Getting out of the ward took us the better part of the day and we don’t dare stay a second longer. We reload, grab supplies and head out as the sun sets. We pass Aaron in the cornfields. Just like the coward he is, he tried to make a run for it. There is still no sign of Greg.

  “You think they got Greg?” Vine is the first to ask the question I’ve been thinking.

  “I do. Greg’s not a runner,” I whisper. “If you see him in yellow and blue, you shoot. The same counts for Ethan, and me if I ever disappear, or I will kill you.”

  “That’s not funny,” Vine snaps, stalking past me.

  “It wasn’t a joke. Do I ever make jokes!” I whisper back. “And will y’all please whisper!”

  ~*~

  We stand staring at the fire rising into the night sky. The main ward is on fire. They got there before we could warn them.

  “We have a choice. We either go help and stand the risk of getting killed in the chaos, or we wait it out and go in afterwards to clean up. I say we wait. I don’t want to get caught in the crossfire, and I’d rather there still be the five of us to go put a stop to all of this if the main ward does fall.”

  “I say your choice is sounding really good right about now,” Sam agrees, and I know it’s taking a lot for him to say, knowing his girls are in there.

  “They will be okay, Jai and Rachel are fighters and they have Chance. If anyone will survive it will be them.”

  “Thanks man, I needed to hear that.”

  We make our way to the embankment where the wildgrass is longer, and where we’re out of the way.

  “We can sit in shifts. I doubt any of us will sleep but try to get some shut-eye.”

  “I’ll go first,” Sam offers.

  I take Ruth’s hand and walk a couple of feet away before I sit down.

  “Lie down, and try to sleep. I’ll keep watch over you,” I whisper.

  She hasn’t said a single word since the attack started. I’m really worried. She sits down next to me and for a few seconds she stares up at the stars. Then she gets to her knees, she brings her one leg over me and straddling me, she rests her head against my chest.

  I’m just about to think she’s fallen asleep when she glances over her shoulder.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” I whisper.

  She lifts herself against me and whispers real soft in my ear. “Can the others see us?”

  “No, you can sleep. They won’t see you sleeping.”

  “I can’t sleep,” she whispers. “When I close my eyes I see them.”

  I lie down with her on top of me. I take hold of her shoulders and pull her up until her face is above mine.

  “Kiss me,” I whisper.

  Her mouth comes crushing down on mine. Her kiss is desperate. I fr
ame her face with my hands and savor this moment. You know you’ve found the right person if you’re the only person they can trust to take their fears away.

  ~*~

  I only move when Ruth stirs. She looks up at me and her eyes brighten and a smile spreads slowly across her lips, and it warms the deepest parts of me.

  “Morning angel of mine,” I whisper, and I press a soft kiss to her lips.

  Her lips tremble under mine and I pull back quickly, as confusion takes the place of the warm feeling.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m happy,” she whispers. She sits up and pulls her knees to her chest. “So many are dying, people who fought to stay alive,” she swallows hard,” and the only reason I’m alive is because Mr. Demetrius gave his life for me, and because of you. He had a wife and two children. You’re like him, you don’t think about dying like I do, and I’m scared that one day you’re going to leave and not come back and it will-” A sob makes her bury her face in her knees.

  I pull her up and onto my lap, pressing her hard against my chest. “Oh baby, that’s not going to happen, because firstly, you’re gonna go where ever I go. We live together, we’ll die together.” I swallow hard. “I’ll never let them take you, or me. If I had known you were on the other side of that damn dome I would’ve come for you sooner. If only I had known.” An urgency tears through me, knowing that she was there, that she was almost killed and I wasn’t there to keep her safe.

  “Sometimes I think I did die,” she whispers. She pulls her face from my embrace and I feel her breath on my lips, “and you’re my guardian angel fighting to bring me back.”

  “I’ll always fight for you.”

  ~*~

  Chapter Six

  Ruth~

  I’ve lost all concept of time. I don’t know how many days have passed since I left the Virtuous Ecocity, but it feels like years.

  I stand next to Roland on the front porch of Jai’s old house, taking in the houses around us. My parents are here, just down the street. People I know still live here, but it’s no longer home for me.

  My home is where ever Roland is. He’s the only one who cares. My parents just let me go into the unknown and I know now, Roland would never do that to me. He’d fight for me, like he fought for Sam and Vine back at the ward, like he’s fighting for Jai by coming after her. I’m one of them now. I’m a Dissolute.