The Mack Reynolds Megapack

by Mack Reynolds

  Freddy grinned ruefully. “Oh, you figured that out, eh?”

  “Did you think I was stupid?”

  Freddy rubbed his hands together, happily. “He used to be world champion, and you flattened him. It was in every gossip column in the country, every news reporter, played it up. And hell all it cost us was five shares of your Vacuum Tube Transport stock.”

  “Five shares!”

  “Why not? He used to be champ. Now, he’s so broke he’s got to live on stock he isn’t allowed to sell. His basic government issue at birth. He was willing to take a dive cheap, if you ask me.”

  Joe growled at him unhappily. “I’ve got news for you, Freddy. Your hired brawler started off as per instructions, evidently, but after a couple of blows had been exchanged his slap-happy brain lost the message and he tried to take me. We’re lucky he didn’t splatter me all over the dance floor of the Exclusive Club. He didn’t take a dive. I had to scuttle him.”

  Freddy blinked. “Zen!”

  “Sure, sure, sure,” Joe growled. “Look, next time you decide to spend five shares of my stock on some deal like this, let me know, eh?”

  Freddy walked to the sideboard and got glasses. “Whiskey?” he said.

  “Tequila, if you’ve got it,” Joe said. “Look, I’m beginning to have second thoughts about this campaign. Where’s it got us, so far?”

  Freddy brought the fiery Mexican drink and handed it to him, and took a place in the chair opposite. His voice went persuasive. “It’s going fine. You’re on everybody’s lips. First thing you know, some of the armaments firms will be having you indorse their guns, swords, cannon, or whatever.”

  “Oh, great,” Joe growled. “Already my friends are ribbing me about this fancy uniform and all the plugs I’ve been getting. The glory-grabber isn’t any more popular today among real pros than he’s ever been.”

  “Who gives a damn?” Freddy sneered, cynically. “We’re not in this to please your lame-brain mercenary pals with their soldier-of-fortune codes of behavior. We’re in this for Number One, Joe Mauser, and Number Two, Freddy Soligen.”

  Joe put away the greater part of his drink. “Sure, sure, sure. But where are we now? Your campaign has been in full swing for months. What’s accomplished?”

  The small Telly reporter was indignant. “What’s accomplished? We’ve got three Major Joe Mauser buff clubs in full swing and five more starting up. And next month you’re going to be on the cover of the Fracas Times.”

  “And I’m still a major and still Mid-Middle caste. And my stock shares available for bribery are running short.”

  Freddy twisted his mouth and looked worriedly down into his glass. He said unhappily, “We need a gimmick to climax all this. Some kind of gimmick to bring you absolutely to the top.”

  “A gimmick?” Joe demanded. “What do you mean, a gimmick?”

  “You’re going to have to do something really spectacular. Make you the biggest Telly hero of them all. We’ll have to get you into a real fracas and pull something dramatic. I don’t know what, I don’t seem to be able to come up with an angle. But when I do, I’ll guarantee that every Telly camera covering the fracas will be zeroed in on Joe Mauser.”

  “Great,” Joe growled. “I’ve got just the gimmick. It’ll wow them.”

  The Telly reported looked up, hopefully.

  “I’ll get killed in a burst of glory,” Joe said.

  V

  A servant took Joe Mauser’s cap at the door and requested that Joe follow him. Joe trailed behind on the way to the living room of the mansion, somewhat taken aback by the, to him, ostentation of the display of the luxuries of yesteryear. Among them was to be numbered the butler. Servants, other than military batmen, were simply not in Joe’s world. Only the Uppers were in position to utilise the full time of individuals. Long years past, those tasks which once called for servants had been automated, from automated elevators to automated baby-sitters.

  The servant announced him and then seemingly disappeared in the brief moment while Joe was bowing formally over Nadine Haer’s hand. Even while murmuring the appropriate banalities, Joe wondered how one acquired the ability to seemingly disappear, once one’s services were no longer needed. Each man to his own trade, he decided.

  He had a date with Nadine, but it turned out that the piquant Upper was not alone. In fact, it was obvious that she had not as yet got around to dressing for her appointment with Joe. He had promised to take her soaring in his sailplane. She was attired, as always, as those dress who have never considered the cost of clothing. And, as ever, when Joe saw her newly, after a period of a day or more away, he was taken with her intensity and her almost brittle beauty. What was it that the aristocrat seemed able to acquire after but a generation or two of what they were pleased to call breeding? That aloof quality, the exquisite gentility.

  “Joe,” Nadine said, “you’ll be pleased to meet Philip Holland, Category Government, Rank Secretary. Phil, Major Joseph Mauser.”

  The other, possibly forty, shook hands firmly and looked into Joe’s face. He had a crisp manner. “Good heavens, yes,” he said. “That remarkable innovation of using an engineless aircraft for reconnaissance. My old friend, Marshal Cogswell, was speaking of it the other day. I assume that in advance you purchased stock in the firms which manufacture such craft, major. They must be booming.”

  Joe grimaced wryly. “No, sir. I wasn’t smart enough to think of that. Professional soldiers are traditionally stupid. What was the old expression? They can take their shirts off without unbuttoning their collars.”

  Philip Holland cocked his head, even as he chuckled. “I detect a note of bitterness, major.”

  Nadine said airily, “Joe is ambitious, thinking the answer to all his problems lies in jumping his caste to Upper.”

  Joe looked at her impatiently to where she sat on a Mid-Twentieth Century type sofa.

  Philip Holland said, “Possibly he’s right, my dear. Each of us have different needs to achieve such happiness as is possible to man.”

  To Joe, he sounded just vaguely on the stuffy side, even through the crispness. By nature nervous and quick moving, Holland seemed to try and project an air of calm which didn’t quite come off. Joe wondered what his relationship to Nadine could be, a twinge of jealousy there. But that was ridiculous. Nadine must be in the vicinity of thirty. Obviously, she knew, and had known, many men as attracted to her as was Joe Mauser—And men in her own caste, at that. Somehow, though, he felt Holland was no Upper. The other simply didn’t have the air.

  Joe said to him, “Nadine doesn’t get my point. I contend that in a strata divided society, it’s hard to realize yourself fully until you’re a member of the upper caste. Admittedly, perhaps you won’t even if you are such a member, but at least you haven’t the obstacles with which the lower class or classes are beset.”

  “Interestingly stated,” Holland said briskly. He returned to his chair from which he had arisen to shake hands with Joe, and looked at Nadine. “You said, on introducing us, that Joe would be glad to meet me, my dear. Why, especially?”

  Nadine laughed. “Because I have been practicing your arguments upon him.”

  Both of the men frowned at her.

  Nadine looked at Joe. “Phil Holland’s the most interesting man I know, I do believe. He’s secretary to Marlow Mannerheim, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, and simply couldn’t be more privy to the inner workings of government. It was Phil who convinced me that something is wrong with our socio-economic system.”

  “Oh?” Joe said. He wasn’t really interested. Let society solve its problems. He had his own. And they were sufficient unto themselves as well as the day thereof. However, conversation was to be kept moving. He needled the other. “I’ve heard it contended that any type of government is good given capable, intelligent personnel to run it, or bad if not so managed. What was the example I read somewhere? Both heaven and hell are despotisms.”

  Phil Holland shrugged. “An interesting observation. Howe
ver, institutions, including socio-political ones, can become outdated. When they do, no matter how intelligent, capable and honest the governmental heads, that socio-political system can be a hell. If, at such time there are capable, intelligent persons available, they will take such measures as are necessary to change the institutions.”

  Nadine had come to her feet. “The subject is my favorite, but I must change. Joe is taking me a-gliding, and I’m sure this frock isn’t de rigueur. You gentlemen will excuse me?” She was off before they had time to come to their feet.

  * * * *

  Joe Mauser settled himself again, crossing his legs. He said, idly, “And you think our basic institutions have reached the state of needing change?”

  “Perhaps, although as a member of the Government Category, it should hardly be my position to advocate such.” He seemed to switch subjects. “Have you read much of the Roman ludi, the games as we call them?”

  “The gladiators and such?” Joe shrugged. “I’ve read a bit about them. It’s been pointed out, in fact by Dr. Haer, among others, that basically our present day fracases serve the same purposes. That instead of bread and circuses, provided by the Roman patricians to keep the unemployed Roman mob from becoming restive, we give them trank pills and Telly violence.”

  “Um-m-m,” Holland nodded, “but that isn’t the point I was making right now. What I was thinking was that at first the Roman games were athletic affairs without bloodshed. It wasn’t until 264 B.C. that three pairs of slaves were sent in to fight with swords. By 183 B.C. the number had gone up to sixty pairs. By 145 B.C. ninety pairs fought for three days. But that was just the beginning. They really got under way with the dictators. Sulla put a hundred lions into the arena, but Julius Caesar topped that with four hundred and Pompey that with six hundred, plus over four hundred leopards and twenty elephants. Augustus beat them all with three thousand five hundred elephants and ten thousand men killed in a series of games. But it was the emperors who really expanded the ludi. Trajan had ten thousand animals killed in the arena to celebrate his victory over the Dacians, not to mention eleven thousand people.

  “Are you surprised at my memory? The subject has always fascinated me. For one thing, I am a great believer in the theory that history repeats itself. As time went on, arenas were built all over the empire, even small towns boasted their own. In Rome, the number of them grew so that eventually an avid follower could attend every day, the year around. And as they increased in quantity they also had to grow more extreme to hold the fan’s attention. The Emperor Philip, in celebrating the thousandth anniversary of the founding of Rome, had killed a thousand pair of gladiators, a rhinoceros, six hippopotami, ten hyenas, ten giraffes, twenty wild asses, ten tigers, ten zebras, thirty leopards, sixty lions, thirty-two elephants, forty wild horses. I am afraid I forgot the rest.”

  Joe stirred in his chair. The other’s personality grew on him. The crisp voice had a certain magnetic quality that made what he said important, somehow. However, Joe’s interest in Roman history wasn’t exactly paramount.

  Holland said, “You wonder at what I am driving, eh? Do you realize the expense involved in getting a rhinoceros to Rome in those days? Not to speak of hippopotami, tigers, lions and leopards. Few people realize the extent to which the Romans went to acquire exotic animals to be slaughtered for the edification of the mob. They penetrated as far south as Kenya, there are still the ruins of a Roman fort there; as far east as Indonesia; as far north as the Baltic, and there is even evidence that they brought polar bears from Iceland.”

  Philip Holland snorted, as though in contempt. “But the mob wearied of even such spectacle as giraffes being killed by pigmies from the Iturbi forest. The games had started as fights between skilled swordsmen, being observed by knowledgeable combat soldiers of a warrior people. But as the Romans lost their warlike ardor and became a worthless mob performing no useful act for either themselves or the State, they no longer appreciated a drawn-out duel between equals. They wanted quick blood, and lots of it, and turned to mass slaughter of Christians, runaway slaves, criminals and whoever else they could find to throw to the lions, crocodiles or whatever. Even this became old hat, and they turned increasingly to more extreme sadism. Children were hung up by their heels and animals turned loose to pull them down. Men were tied face to face with rotting corpses and so remained until death. Animals were taught to rape virgins.”

  Joe Mauser stirred again. What in Zen was this long monologue on the Roman games leading to?

  Holland said, “By the way, contrary to some belief, the games didn’t end upon Christianity becoming the dominant faith and finally the State religion. Constantine legalized Christianity in 313 A.D. but it wasn’t until 365 that Valentinian passed a law against sacrificing humans to animals in the arena and the gladiator schools remained in operation until 399. The arenas were finally closed in 404 A.D. but by that time the Roman Empire was a mockery. In all they last more than half a millennium, but things move faster these days.”

  The tone of voice changed abruptly and Holland snapped a question at Joe. “By your age, I would imagine you’ve participated in the present day fracases for some fifteen years. How have they changed in that time?”

  Joe was taken aback. “Why …” he said, hesitated as he got the other’s point, then went on, nodding. “Yes. They used to be company size—a few hundred lads involved. After a while, a battalion size fracas became fairly commonplace, then about ten years ago a corporation of any size had to be able to put at least a regiment into the field and the biggies had brigades.”

  “And now?” Holland urged.

  “Now a divisional size fracas is the thing.”

  “Yes, and if a corporation isn’t among the top dozen or so, a single defeat can mean bankruptcy.”

  Joe nodded. He had known of such cases.

  Holland leaned back in his chair, as though all his points had been made. He said, his voice less brisk, “Our People’s Capitalism, our Welfare State, took the road of bringing the equivalent of the Roman ludi to keep our people in a state of stupefied acceptance of the status quo. And as in the case of Rome, the games are bankrupting it. Our present day patrician class, our Uppers, have a tiger by the tail, Joseph Mauser, and can’t let go. We need those capable and intelligent people of whom you spoke earlier, to make some basic changes. Where are they? Nadine said that your great driving ambition is to be jumped to Upper in caste. But even though you make it, what will you have on your hands but these problems that the Uppers seem unable to solve?”

  Joe said, impatiently, “Possibly you’re right. What you say about the fracases becoming bigger and more expensive is true. They’re also becoming more bloody. In the old days, a corporation or union going into a fracas was conscious of having a high casualty list among the mercenaries. Highly trained soldiers cost money. Insurance, indemnity, pensions, all the rest of it. Consequently, you’d fight a battle of movement, maneuver, brainwork on the part of the officer commanding, so that practically nobody was hurt on either side. One force or the other would surrender after being caught in an impossible situation. Not any more. These days, they want blood. Plenty of blood. And they want the Telly cameras to focus right into the middle of it.”

  Joe shook his head. “But it’s not my problem to solve. I’ve got my goal. I’ll worry about other ones when I’ve achieved it.”

  * * * *

  A voice behind him said superciliously, “I do believe it’s the status hungry captain, ah, that is, major these days. To what do I owe this unexpected visit, Major Mauser?”

  Joe came to his feet and faced the newcomer, Philip Holland doing the same, somewhat more leisurely.

  Baron Balt Haer, wearing a colonel’s uniform and flicking his swagger stick along his booted leg, stood in the doorway. His voice was lazily arrogant. “And Mr. Holland, I must say, the Middle caste seems to have taken over the house. Well, Major Mauser? I assume you do not labor under the illusion that you are welcome in this dwelling.”


  In Category Military rank is observed whilst in uniform, even though neither individual is currently on active service. Joe had automatically come to attention. He said, stiffly, “Sir, I am calling upon your sister, Dr. Haer.”

  “Indeed,” Baron Haer said, his nostrils high in that attitude once perfected by grandees of medieval Spain, landed gentry of England, Prussian Junkers. “I find that my sister, in her capacity as medical scientist, seems to go to extreme in her research. What aspect of the lower classes is she studying in your case, major?”

  Joe flushed. “Baron Haer,” he said, “we seem to have got off on the wrong foot when we participated in that fracas against Continental Hovercraft under your father, the late Baron. I would appreciate an opportunity to start over again.”

  “Would you indeed?” Balt Haer said loftily. He turned his eye to Philip Holland, whose mouth bore the slightest suggestions of suppressed humor. “Unless I am mistaken, the conversation at the time of my entry seemed to have a distinctly subversive element. Shouldn’t this be somewhat surprising in the secretary of the administration’s foreign minister?”

  Philip Holland said crisply, “You must have intruded, um-m-m, that is, entered, at the end of a sentence, Baron Haer. We were merely discussing the various methods, down through the ages, that ruling classes have utilized to perpetuate themselves in power.”

  Haer obviously disbelieved him. He said, “For example?”

  “There are many examples,” Holland said, reseating himself. “For instance, the medieval feudalistic class who dominated the ignorant and highly superstitious serfdom soon found it expedient to add to their titles by grace of God, as though it was God’s wish that they be count or baron, prince or king. What serf would dare attempt the overthrow of his lord, in the face of God’s wishes?”