Jennifer's Crush

by Laura Anne Turner

  When I opened my eyes again she smiled.

  “Welcome back, darling. You had a most amazing orgasm.”

  “Thank you, Em, sweetheart, I came so hard,” I managed to say.

  I kissed her slowly and tenderly, then with more passion. I began to play with her breasts and Emilia began to make adorable noises, which rekindled my own passion. I made her straddle me with her knees close to my head. I grabbed her butt and drew her pussy to my mouth. I began to lick and suck her folds and ripples. It didn’t take very long and Emilia began to tremble. I pushed three fingers into her pussy while I sucked her clit into my mouth. Emilia cried out and collapsed over me.

  “I need to drink something,” I said after a while. “I’m so thirsty.”

  Emilia gave me a kiss, got up from the bed and went to the fridge. I watched her as she moved to the fridge. Her slender frame, her long and sexy legs, her nice round butt. She came back with two glasses of water.

  “Thank you, Em. You are wonderful.”

  “You are wonderful yourself, Jenny.”

  She sat down on the bed next to me. I put my arm around her shoulders and she leaned in on me.

  “Em?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I will miss you. A lot.”

  “I will miss you too, Jenny. My feelings for you…my feelings for you are strange, very strong though.”

  “What do you mean – strange?”

  She shifted a bit and looked into my eyes.

  “Like I said, my feelings for you are very strong, I feel attracted to you. I like your black hair, your eyes, the way you walk and how you talk. But you know, I, we, we should not have these feelings. We are girls and supposed to have such feelings for guys. I’m no longer sure what to think. It is new for me. I have never felt attracted to a girl like this. It is you, Jennifer. I want you, even though I know it’s not right.”

  “I have the same issues, Em. I don’t know who I am, if I’m straight or gay or bisexual. I really don’t know what’s going on with me. What I know is that I feel attracted to you, too, Emilia. I want you.”

  We kissed again.

  “Let’s forget about it for tonight,” Emilia said between kisses.

  +++

  This time I was the first one to wake up. The first thing I realized in my still drowsy state was that her soft and warm body was close to me. I felt an arm and a hand on my stomach. Slowly I recalled where I was and what had happened the night before. The corners of my mouth shot up in a big smile. It felt so good to be held by Emilia. I heard her regular breathing and I felt warmth in my stomach. With her I would no longer be alone.

  I turned around so that I could look at her. Her long dark-red hair partly covered her face and it moved softly with her breathing. She looked so peaceful, but also vulnerable in her sleep. My heart opened and I knew I loved her. It was a wonderful moment. However my happiness lasted only for a few seconds. Just the brief period of time I needed to realize I’d lose her. She would leave within the next 2 or 3 days and be gone. Who knew what would happen during the 6 months she would be away?

  A wave of sadness overcame me. I had found this beautiful young woman next to me, who seemed to love me and care about me, and I was about to lose her as quickly as we had come together. I would be alone again. My eyes became moist and a few tears trickled down my cheeks.

  Why me? Why am I always the loser?

  Emilia stirred. Her eyes flew open and she looked at me in surprise. Her hand came up and stroked my cheek.

  “Good morning, darling. Why are you crying?”

  I started to sob uncontrollably.

  “Because… because I love you, Emilia, and I am so happy with you, and then you will leave me, and I will be so damn alone again.”

  Emilia put her arm around my shoulders.

  “Please, Jenny, please don’t cry. I can’t stand it to see you cry.” Her eyes were brimming with tears.

  “I’m still here, Jenny. And you will not be alone. I swear. We can talk on the phone, we can Skype, and we can text…”

  “But it’s not the same as if you were here.”

  “I know, darling. I know. But you have Martin, and the band, and Sherinia, and I will be back soon.”

  Emilia took me in her arms and I laid my head on her shoulder until I had no more tears.

  +++

  “How long will you be working today, Jenny?”

  We sat at a small table in our usual coffee bar for a quick breakfast.

  “I have the late shift today, which means I have to stay at least until midnight, probably later. Why are you asking?”

  “I was just thinking. I will pack my belongings today. So I will be busy. Do you want to come to my place after your work? I mean we could spend Sunday together. One whole day for us.” Emilia suggested with her eyes expectantly on me.

  “I’d love to, Em. Only I don’t know what my mother is going to say about another sleepover. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  We went back to her place where I had to pick up my duffle bag and my bass guitar. As I was ready to leave Emilia took me in her arms and we kissed.

  Then she reached into her jeans pocket and presented a key. There was a shy smile on her face.

  “If you want to you can have this key for my apartment. You don’t have to ring the doorbell if you are late tonight. You can keep this key as long as I am gone. My neighbor has a key too, but she is not so reliable. It would be great if you could check if everything is alright every now and then. I trust you, Jenny.”

  I was speechless for a moment.

  “I don’t know what to say, Emilia. I feel honored and flattered and...”

  I pulled her in and kissed her lips. In the next moment I had her tongue in my mouth and the kiss turned from tender to passionate.

  We broke the kiss to catch our breath.

  “I hate to do this, but I really have to go, Emilia. I’ll give you a ring later.”

  +++

  “Good that you came home finally, young lady,” my mother greeted me as soon as I entered the apartment. She obviously wasn’t in her best mood. Where was the gnome?

  “Good morning to you too,” I answered.

  “Stop being cheeky, Missy. Get your hands out of your ass and help me clean the apartment.”

  “Okay, okay. Just let me put my things into my room.”

  As I walked down the corridor I saw that Manfred the Gnome was sitting on the couch in the living room, his feet on the coffee table, and smoking a cigarette. A broad grin appeared on his face as soon as he saw me.

  “Hi honey,” he crowed and waved his hand.

  I ignored him and went to my bedroom. I put my bass guitar and my bag into the corner and returned to my mother.

  “So here I am. What do you want me to do?” I asked.

  “You clean the bathroom, including toilet, shower, mirror, everything.”

  I sighed, but knew it was best to comply with her request. I knew it was one of the worst tasks she could have given me. At least she left me in peace while I was busy. While I was still scrubbing the toilet my brother appeared at the bathroom door. As soon as he saw me on my knees and with yellow rubber gloves on my hands he started to laugh.

  “Wow, sis, you look hot down on your knees and with these gloves.”

  “Fuck off, you jerk.”

  “Hey, cool down, Jenny, I need to pee.”

  “Okay, but you sit down on the toilet. I have just cleaned everything.”

  “As you wish, madam.”

  In the end it took me more than an hour to clean the whole bathroom, but was satisfied with the result. My mother inspected my work carefully, but didn’t find anything to complain about.

  “You can help me in the kitchen now. Go ahead and prepare a salad. I’ll be right there.” She disappeared into the living room and I knew I wouldn’t see her for a while. I went to the kitchen and prepared a salad. Just as I was ready with it, my mother appeared in the kitchen.

&n
bsp; “Here’s the salad. Can I go to my room now?”

  “Okay. You can go for now. But make sure you will be here for dinner.”

  “Mom, I need to go to work later.”

  “Okay, so we’ll have dinner at six.”

  I spent most of my afternoon reading textbooks for school. I packed my bag again for my sleepover at Emilia’s.

  Emilia. There were butterflies in my stomach when I thought of her and the night to come.

  I didn’t say much during dinner and let the others talk. I noticed that the Gnome was ogling me, but ignored him. Eventually he could no longer stand it.

  “Honey, what about your boyfriend? You have a boyfriend, right?” He asked me.

  I hated his calling me ‘honey’, but decided it was better to not address it now.

  “No, I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment.”

  “But why not, honey? You are cute and I guess there must be a line of boys wanting to date you.”

  “And I guess this is none of your business. And stop calling me ‘honey’. I’m not your honey, I’m Jennifer.”

  My mother slapped her hand on the table.

  “Will you behave yourself, young lady?”

  “C’mon babe, just let her be, she’s a teenager,” the gnome said while he patted mother’s hand.

  My brother was biting his bottom lip but the corners of his mouth twitched.

  When dinner was finally over I put the dishes into the dishwasher, while the rest of the family including my brother still sat at the table and smoked cigarettes. Then I went to my room to pick up my bag and leave the house.

  “What’s with the bag? Where are you going?” My mother stood in the doorway.

  “Another sleepover at Emilia’s. She’s leaving for London on Monday and we want to spend the Sunday together.”

  “Emilia, huh? Mark my words, Jennifer. Don’t you dare to ever come home with a child. Be careful. You can go now.”

  +++

  It was nearly 1am as I left “The Mirror”. The wine bar had been very crowded this Saturday night and I had been extremely busy. But I also had earned quite some extra money. I took the bus to Emilia’s place. I felt tired and strangely excited at the same time. Using Emilia’s key I opened the entrance door to the house and climbed up the stairs to the third floor. It was a strange feeling to have a key to someone’s house. But somehow it also felt like coming home. I carefully opened the door to Emilia’s small apartment. Everything was quiet, and a faint light shone in her room. It was just enough for me to see in the small corridor and I hung my jacket on a hook and took off my boots. Then I sneaked to her room, opened the door tentatively, and looked inside. The sight I saw warmed my heart and made my pulse quicken.

  The dim light, which came from the lamp on Emilia’s nightstand, revealed her sleeping body on her bed. She still had her blue sweater on, but was in black panties. Her long hair was disheveled. An open book lay next to her on the bed. Obviously, she had waited for me and fallen asleep.

  On tiptoes I walked over to her bed and took off my jeans. Emilia must have heard the rustling of the fabric. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me. The corners of her mouth shot up as she recognized me.

  “Oh Jenny, it’s you, finally,” she whispered. “Come to me and hold me please.”

  How could I resist this plea? I hurriedly took off my sweater and climbed into her bed. We hugged and kissed for a while.

  “Sorry, Em, I hate to interrupt this, but I need to go to the bathroom,” I said.

  “It’s okay, Jenny, just go. I wanted to make love to you, but I’m just too tired.”

  I went to the bathroom, took a brief shower, brushed my teeth and put on my nightshirt. When I returned Emilia was fast asleep. I climbed into bed, snuggled into her and put my arm around her. She moaned softly in her sleep. It didn’t take long and I dozed off too.

  +++

  What followed was one of the best and at the same time one of the saddest Sundays of my life. Emilia and I made love as soon as we woke up. The term making love had never been so appropriate for what we did together. It was love, tenderness, closeness, trust, and so many things more for which I had no words.

  We went hand-in-hand to have breakfast at the coffee bar. It felt like we were a real couple. It was everything I had ever wished for. For this one Sunday Emilia was my partner, my lover, and my girlfriend.

  We took our time for the breakfast. Outside it was cold, but the sun was shining, and so we decided to have a walk. Hand-in-hand we walked to the old medieval downtown area, to the market square with the Gothic Cathedral, and finally down to the river.

  As we returned to Emilia’s apartment it was late afternoon and the moment to say good-bye approached without mercy. Already on our way back there had been silence between us. Now we stood in her apartment, hardly daring to look at each other.

  “Emilia?

  “Yes, Jenny?”

  “Will you think of me when you’re in England?”

  “Certainly I will, Jenny. I’ll send you a message as soon as I’m there.”

  “I love you, Emilia.”

  “I love you back, Jenny.”

  I realized this didn’t lead us anywhere and decided to stop it.

  “I should go home now, Em.”

  “I know.”

  We hugged and kissed one last time then I grabbed my bag and walked to the door of her apartment. I turned around once more to look at her. Emilia stood frozen to the spot, but she blew me a kiss over the palm of her hand.

  “Please don’t forget me, Em.”

  I turned around and closed the door. As soon as the door fell shut behind me, my eyes brimmed with tears. As I left the house I looked up to the windows of her apartment. She was standing at one window and waved her hand to say goodbye.

  Like in a haze I took the bus back home. It took all of my strength to stifle my tears until I was at home. Thankfully neither my mother nor my brother was at home as I entered our flat. I went to the living room, grabbed a bottle of vodka from the bar, and made a beeline to my room. I threw my bag into a corner, plopped down on my bed, and opened the vodka. I took a sip, but it tasted disgusting. I went back to the kitchen, grabbed an empty glass and a bottle of orange juice and mixed booze and juice. I downed the first glass in eager gulps and made a refill. In my room I laid down on my bed, listened to Evanescence, and drank. But it didn’t stop me from crying.

  A short period of happiness and now I am lonely again. I’m lost without you.

  My phone beeped, but I ignored it. I missed Emilia like hell already. Her flight was tomorrow morning and I’d have loved to go to the airport with her, but I couldn’t, I had to go to school.

  At some point I realized I was pretty tipsy and my stomach began to rumble. I hadn’t eaten anything since my breakfast with Emilia.

  I don’t want to go back to where I came from. Stop drinking!

  Finally my reason kicked in again. I staggered to the door of my room and opened it tentatively. Nobody seemed to be at home. I somehow managed to get to the kitchen. I prepared sandwiches with ham and cheese, and took a bottle of mineral water from the fridge.

  After I had eaten, I went to the bathroom, took a shower, and went to bed afterwards. I started to cry again until I fell into a dreamless sleep.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN – CARNIVAL MADNESS

  Carnival was total frenzy. Normal everyday people turned into complete idiots once they were wearing a costume and mask and had enough booze. That’s what regularly happened during these four days, like every year. Everybody turned completely crazy.

  Our club gig was to take place on Saturday, the first day of this Carnival madness. I didn’t have to work, because ‘The Mirror’ was closed over the Carnival days. The band had rehearsed two more times this week and we felt confident enough to make it. Sherinia knew the lyrics by heart now and the way in which she had performed during our rehearsals gave us enough strength and confidence for our gig.

  I missed Emilia l
ike hell even though we had been in touch several times this week. She had sent me a selfie while still at the airport, waiting for her departure. We had texted as soon as she had arrived at the English family were she was to live for the coming months. We had talked once via Skype. And she had sent me a text earlier today in which she wished the band and me good luck for our gig.

  But all this didn’t help me to get over this feeling of loneliness and emptiness that I felt. These feelings had been there inside me before Emilia. But now that she was gone these feelings had become worse. I felt sick and exhausted at school. But I managed not to get drunk again. I didn’t want that any more.

  I had ignored Martin’s calls and texts on Sunday and felt guilty for it. I had called him on Monday evening after work and he seemed to be a bit mad at me. But Martin would not be Martin if he hadn’t come around again quickly.

  He picked me up on Tuesday for our rehearsal. He knew me too well to pretend that nothing was wrong. So I told him that I was not really well, that I was stressed out from school, and other plausible stuff.

  Sherinia also asked me how I was. I didn’t know how much she knew about Emilia and me, but she had suspected something anyway. So I told her that I just missed Emilia.

  “I miss her too, Jenny, she’s a good friend of mine. But the both of you seemed to be very close recently.”

  “Yes, we have become close friends recently,” I said. I hoped I didn’t betray too much.

  She smiled but did not say anything else.

  We were waiting backstage for our gig. Our equipment was set-up and ready. The band were sitting in a corner behind the stage and drinking beer. Robin and Marlon’s girlfriends Andrea and Sophie were also there. We had dressed for the occasion. For me this meant tight black denim jeans with rips and a black tank top. I had put on my black studded leather wristbands and collar. The guys were wearing black jeans or leather pants and black band shirts. Sherinia definitely was our eye catcher. She had on a skimpy black leather skirt, black fishnet stocking, knee-high black boots, and she wore a dark-blue silk corset that revealed her cleavage. Around her neck was a dark-blue silk ribbon. She had simply taken my breath away when I first saw her that evening.