The Doctor's Redemption (Shadow Creek, Montana)

by Victoria James

  …

  Luke Thomson tried to focus on driving home and not on what had just happened. He had known this day was coming. It was the reason he was in Shadow Creek. But he had no idea that the cute coffee shop girl was Gwen Bailey. He’d had his first clue when he’d seen Lily walk in. He had treated her one night in the ER. When she had left the ER it had occurred to him that her fiancé was Jack Bailey.

  The Baileys were the people he needed to speak to.

  Not that he was interested in a woman, but he’d had a hard time not noticing Gwen this last month. He never would have started going into her shop if he’d known who she was. It was getting more and more difficult to ignore her though. When he’d first moved to Shadow Creek, there hadn’t been any open places to grab a decaf coffee on his way home from the brutal twelve-hour night shift at the hospital. Then he’d noticed this place. The first morning he’d walked in, the sweet smell of freshly baked whatevers and coffee greeted him. But that hadn’t been what had hit him in the gut; it had been the gorgeous woman behind the counter. She’d given him a smile that had soothed the turmoil he’d been living with for the last five years. Right from the first, he’d been attracted to her in a way that made her pop into his head throughout the day.

  He soon found himself listening to her as she spoke with customers, smiling when he heard her laugh, glancing over at her when she was busy helping people. Everyone who came into her shop loved her. She chatted with them and asked them about their families. She had a way of making each of them feel important and special. Including him. But it was when he’d seen Lily walk in and Gwen refer to her as her sister-in-law that changed everything for him. There would be no asking the gorgeous, sweet, Gwen Bailey on a date. Gwen was off-limits. When she found out who he was, it would destroy her. He could never get close to her or any of them.

  He pulled onto the last street before reaching the small cabin he was renting a few miles outside of town. The cabin served its purpose; it was an easy commute to the hospital he worked at, and not that far from town. It was also isolated, which was perfect for him as he had no interest in a social life. That part of his life was long gone and he didn’t miss it.

  He needed a hot shower and a warm bed.

  He pulled into his driveway, frowning when he saw he’d need to shovel the walkway again. His phone rang as he trudged up the front steps. It was his sister.

  “Hey, Haley, how are you?” He unlocked the door and walked in, tossing his jacket on the kitchen chair and taking off his boots.

  “Okay…” The sigh that followed her “okay” told him everything wasn’t okay. He worried about his little sister. He wasn’t a worrier in general, but she was the most important person to him, and her marriage last year to a man he totally suspected was a douche, left him apprehensive. Added to that was that she lived three hours from him, so he wasn’t able to keep an eye on her. They had grown up together, and being that he was six years older than her, he’d taken on a parental role many times. He’d thought twice about moving to Shadow Creek for the year, but she’d reassured him she would be fine. He also hadn’t expected to stay here so long. He hadn’t even planned on working, but when he found out how the rural hospital had been in desperate need for doctors, he’d taken on a one year position. In a way, it made the time pass faster as he wasn’t a guy accustomed to lying around without anything to do.

  “Tell me exactly what’s going on,” he said, going to his fridge and looking for leftover pizza. He pulled out the box and waited for her answer. Luigi’s pizza had saved him many, many nights. It was so good, he ate it cold from the box.

  “Are you eating cold pizza?”

  He stopped chewing. “No.”

  “You need to take better care of yourself, Luke.”

  He continued chewing. “It’s vegetarian.”

  She sighed. “Have you approached the Baileys yet?”

  “Haley.”

  “You’re going to have to tell them sooner or later.”

  He chucked the crust into the open box, his appetite gone. “I know. Maybe tomorrow.”

  She gasped. “It’s going to be okay. It wasn’t your fault, Luke.”

  That was debatable. It didn’t matter what the official report said; what mattered is that he felt responsible. He felt like it was his fault and he’d have to carry that burden with him for the rest of his life. He could do that. “Why don’t you tell me how your life is going? How’s your class of first graders?”

  “Great. They’re really great. One threw up during story time today. One peed on the rug. It’s been a long year.”

  He almost laughed. He crossed the small cabin and flopped into his bed. “Since that’s routine for you, why do you sound so damn sad?”

  There was a long pause. He already knew. He also knew his sister was just as stubborn as he was and that meant she wouldn’t admit to him if something was wrong, especially since he’d been vocal about her choice of partner.

  “I’m not sad. I’m really stressed out. Oh, look at the time, class is going to start again.”

  His sister usually called him on her break and he knew she had longer to speak. He was too tired to make more conversation anyway. “Fine. I know a crappy excuse when I hear one. Just know this, if you need anything, I’m right here, okay? Don’t go being a martyr. You have to get your life back.”

  He suspected he heard a sniffle. “Okay. But don’t worry about me. You’ve got your own crappy life to worry about.”

  “Thanks, so happy you called.”

  She laughed and he smiled.

  “Love you, Luke.”

  “Yeah. Love you too.”

  He set his phone and wallet down on his nightstand and settled on top of his covers, too tired to bother taking off his jeans or getting under the blankets. As he did most mornings, he pulled out the small photo he carried with him in his wallet. His finger traced the outline in the picture and he said some kind of apology or prayer and then slipped it back in his wallet.

  He shut his eyes, hoping for a non-nightmare filled rest.

  He wanted one night where he didn’t see his wife dead in the seat beside him. One night where he didn’t imagine what their unborn baby would have been like had she survived the crash. One night where he could forget that he was the cause of four deaths, and the destruction of two families.

  But the last image in his mind, the same once since coming to Shadow Creek, was of Gwen Bailey smiling at him in the morning. He clung to it, wishing like a kid for happy dreams.

  Chapter Two

  Gwen tried to stuff herself into a dress that was clearly one size too small.

  It was her old dress size, but she refused to accept reality, so she insisted on trying it on. Except now reality was staring her back in the mirror of the small change room of the ladies clothing boutique. Her hips looked like they had birthed a dozen children and her boobs looked comically large. She blinked back tears as Mrs. Hastings, the owner, and long-time friend of her mother’s, knocked on the door.

  “Dear, how’s the dress?”

  Gwen struggled for words as a dress, two sizes up appeared over the top of the door. Grateful the woman had enough sensitivity not to mention what she’d already known, Gwen took the dress and croaked out a thank-you. She tried to remember what she’d declared to Lily a few hours ago, what she’d promised herself, but it didn’t work. Nothing worked. Instead, she started feeling sorry for herself, which she hated. She had rarely done this.

  After her brother and nephew had died, she had gotten a major dose of reality. Real life could suck badly. It could be cruel and unforgiving. Up until the night of the accident, she’d been the sheltered daughter of an upper-middle class, loving family. She’d grown up in a nice house, lived in a beautiful little town, and had been surrounded by wonderful friends and family. But when her brother, Michael, and his little boy, Matthew had died in a car accident, everything had imploded.

  Her sweet sister-in-law had left town, her other brother—Micha
el’s twin—Jack had also skipped town, she’d been left to hold her parents together. She had witnessed them broken, and it had killed her to see them so shattered. She’d been forced to be the strong one, and she’d never had to do that before. Sometimes she looked back and wondered how she’d gotten through the days. She didn’t know how she’d gotten them through the days. Then her father had been diagnosed with cancer and she’d had to take charge of that too—doctor’s appointments, treatment, and encouragement.

  She’d put on twenty pounds in the process. Twenty pounds of comfort cooking and eating. Oh, but her life was coming back together, because in the last year her family was coming back together. Her sister-in-law Julia had come back for good and was now married to their dear family friend, Chase Donovan. She was thrilled for Julia and knew that Chase and his little girl adored Julia, and they made the sweetest family.

  Then there was her brother, Jack. He’d come home on Christmas Eve and all hell had broken loose. But he’d managed to gain everyone’s trust again, including the fiancée he left behind five years ago. The two of them were now expecting twins. Gwen and Lily’s little chocolate shop was doing great so far.

  Everything was great. Really, really, great, except for the fact that she was still trying to be something she wasn’t.

  Gwen slipped the black dress over her head and stared at her reflection. There was no way the Muffin Man would spare her a second glance, let alone agree to come to her singles night.

  “How’s that one, dear?”

  Gwen shut her eyes and then opened them, hoping for maybe a better reflection in the mirror. It didn’t happen. “I’m having trouble deciding today,” she said blinking back tears.

  There was a knock and then the door opened. Mrs. Hastings took one look at her and shook her head. Great, she also thought Gwen looked horrid. She pursed her lips and yanked Gwen out of the change room and into the store. “My dear, you are doing it all wrong.”

  “Doing what wrong?” Gwen asked, trying not to make eye contact with Lily and Julia.

  Mrs. Hastings stopped in front of a rack of dresses Gwen hadn’t even looked at because they were all body-hugging and that was so not what she needed right now. She needed camouflage. The woman pulled out five dresses, draping them on her outstretched arm. She then marched across the room, giving Gwen’s body a once-over and then grabbing two pairs of jeans and three sweaters. Gwen didn’t say a word as the woman marched over to the lingerie section. Oh God, no.

  She ignored Lily’s muffled laughter as the woman pulled the measuring tape that was dangling around her neck and started ordering her to lift her arms while she measured her. “You also can’t go around wearing grandma underwear. Those sports bras are strapping you down and making you look dowdy.”

  She broke out into a sweat but stood there like a rag doll as the woman continued to measure her. Oh, the humiliation.

  “The first thing you need to attract a man is confidence, not a size two.”

  She was getting life advice from the elderly owner who was also one of her mother’s good friends. “I’m really not trying to attract a man.”

  Mrs. Hastings gave her a stern look, frowning under her glasses, silently calling her out on her bull, before turning away and quickly rifling through a rack of bras.

  Gwen turned to Lily and Julia and mouthed, I’m going to kill myself. Lily was silent, laughing so hard she needed to wipe her eyes. Julia turned around.

  “Try these on,” she said thrusting a handful of lace along with the clothes at Gwen. She had no choice but to accept them. “Now go try on one of those bras under the new clothes and let us decide what looks good and doesn’t. Underwire will become your new best friend, dear.”

  Gwen gave her friends a long look before heading back to the change room. She stood in there and banged her head gently on the door after dropping the clothes on the chair in the corner. What had happened to her? How had this become her life? Why hadn’t she just gone online shopping? Right. She would have probably ordered the same old boring clothes. She took a deep breath and rifled through the pile, pulling out an ivory-cashmere-looking sweater that looked way too small for her, and some dark blue skinny jeans she never would have even attempted wearing. She groaned out loud as she picked up a bra. It was two sizes larger than the size she normally wore.

  “Gwen, hurry up, I’m starving and need to eat dinner!”

  “I will try to hurry and not jeopardize the growth of my future nephews or nieces!” she yelled. She heard their laughing but focused on the display in the change room. Gwen didn’t want to offend her mother’s friend but there was no way any of those clothes were going to look good on her. Maybe twenty pounds ago… “Mrs. Hastings, I appreciate your effort, but I’m not feeling it today.”

  “Nonsense. Put the clothes on. And then come out after you try on each so that I can see.”

  Gwen frowned at her through the door. “I really don’t think…”

  “Now.”

  “Yeah,” said her traitorous best friends. “Now.”

  Mrs. Hastings knocked on the door.

  “I haven’t even gotten dressed yet,” she said, trying not to sound as irritated as she felt.

  “Precisely. I didn’t want to say anything, and I’m certainly not one for gossip, but I think you need to hear this before you try those clothes on. I know you come from a long line of stubborn, Gwen, so I think you need more convincing. I haven’t even told this news to your mother yet.”

  Gwen reluctantly opened the door.

  Mrs. Hastings had taken off her glasses now and they were dangling by a red chain on her chest. “You know my daughter-in-law, Brianna?”

  Gwen nodded slowly, dread forming in her stomach as tears filled the older woman’s eyes. Brianna was Jack’s age and they had gone to school together but now lived a few towns away. She hadn’t seen her in a while.

  “Well, she found out she has breast cancer. She’s only in her thirties and has two small children. That poor woman is going to have to have a double mastectomy, chemo, and radiation.”

  Gwen gasped. “I’m so sorry to hear that,” she whispered. Her stomach churned at the thought of what Bri was now facing. “She’s going to be okay though, right?”

  “Yes,” Mrs. Hastings said with a forceful nod. Gwen caught the tremble in her chin and the sheen in her eyes and threw her arms around the woman.

  “She will be. She will be fine. Let me know what I can do to help. Please tell her I’m here for her,” she said, not thinking twice about offering her help.

  “I will tell her, dear. Thank you. But now hear my words—enjoy your life. Be proud of who you are. This obsession we all have with our appearance and our obsession with looking a certain way isn’t right. Appreciate that you are here on earth, Gwen. You are a beautiful woman and it doesn’t matter what size you are. I’m not judging you. I’m saying all this to you because I know you’re such a good person. I know what kind of a daughter you’ve been to your parents. You deserve happiness, Gwen. Any man would be lucky to have you. Just hold out for a good one, dear. You don’t want to get a lemon.”

  Lily was sobbing as she came over and passed around the box of tissues to all of them.

  God, she’d never felt so low or so shallow. The things she had been worrying about? Not real problems. “I’m so sorry for Brianna. If there’s anything I can do, please tell me.”

  Mrs. Hastings gave her a kiss on the cheek and wiped her own tears. “Thank you, my dear. Now, let’s get you looking alive again.”

  Gwen nodded, walking back into the changing room. This was the moment she was going to change for good. She had learned her lesson. She had learned so many lessons these past few years. It was high time to act on them.

  …

  Gwen hung up the phone, pleased that both her sisters-in-law were on board with her latest plan. After her shaming yesterday, she had found Brianna’s email and reached out to her. Gwen offered to bring her dinner for the family every Friday night. Wh
en she told Lily and Julia about her plan, they both said they’d contribute as well on some weeks. Her mother had also agreed.

  Gwen pressed the brew button on the coffeemaker inside the chocolate shop and then arranged the morning’s baked goods on their appropriate stands. Her heart raced as it usually did because she knew TMM would be arriving momentarily. She sat down at the stool behind the counter, very pleased. She felt reenergized. She jotted down some meal ideas on a napkin and then took out her planner. Her to-do list was getting longer and longer. There was all the baby shower stuff, plus, her parents had some doctor’s appointments coming up and she always made a point of driving them and attending. And of course, now there was the speed dating. She was completely engrossed in her planning until she realized it was past the Muffin Man’s usual time. She glanced at the oversized antique clock hanging in the chocolate shop for what had to be the tenth time in half an hour. The Muffin Man should have been there five minutes ago.

  She was dressed…like a normal person again. She also felt like a normal person again. She was taking charge today, putting her plan into effect. She was wearing one of her new outfits and she was doing it with confidence. She had to admit she felt good. It felt good to rid herself of the stupid limitations she’d placed on herself. This was day two in the beginning of the new Gwen. As soon as she closed the shop tonight, she was planning on hanging up some of the cute posters she’d printed on the community bulletin boards like at the library and recreation centers. She was waiting until TMM was here to hang up the store poster. If she was feeling extra kick-ass, she was going to invite him to attend.

  Yesterday’s experience had been eye-opening. She was done with feeling sorry for herself, she was done with self-loathing. She was done with needing to lose twenty—well, seventeen—pounds to find happiness. She was going to live in gratitude for what she had—boobs, hips, and a butt. At least she had them.

  She quickly shuffled her stack of speed dating flyers and shoved them to the far side of the counter as the jingling bells on the front door told her the first customer of the day was arriving. Her first customer was always TMM. Sure enough, tall, dark, and oh-so-handsome, TMM was walking through the door. He looked tired this morning. His classic stubble looked as delectable as ever, but she could see the lines around what she thought was a very sensual mouth on a very hard-lined masculine face, looked more pronounced today. His brilliant, Montana-sky blue eyes, had dark circles under them. She adjusted her new ivory V-neck fake cashmere sweater over her dark skinny jeans and wondered if TMM would look at her differently today.