Vicarious

by Jon F. Merz

  Another pause. Longer this time. “Okay. So what happened?”

  “He was mumbling in his sleep.”

  “You hear what he was saying?”

  “It was in some weird language. One I’ve never heard before.”

  “Plenty of those around. Could have been anything.”

  “It sounded old, Steve. Very ancient. Almost singsong. It scared me listening to it like I was.”

  “What are you thinking?”

  “Is it possible I heard him communicating with…?” She trailed off; surprised she didn’t want to say it herself. As if saying it would reinforce the idea that it had actually happened.

  “The Devil?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t know,” said Curran. “I suppose anything is possible at this point.”

  “You don’t think it was a dream?”

  “Might have been, although you described his bedroom perfectly. Not the kind of thing you’d be able to pull out of thin air. Haven’t researchers found that people tend to have out-of-body experiences most often when they sleep?”

  “I don’t know,” said Lauren.

  “Well, no matter. You weren’t able to hear what he was saying. Not much we can pull out of this.”

  “Steve…there’s something else.”

  “What is it?”

  “He spoke to me.”

  “What?”

  “Just as I was leaning in, trying to make out what he was saying. He opened his eyes.”

  “He was awake?”

  “I think he woke up.”

  “You sure he spoke to you?”

  Another crash against her bedroom window. Another gust of wind. It’s like all the evil is outside trying to get in, she thought. Trying to get to me. “Positive. He looked right at me.”

  “He saw you? How is that possible?”

  “I don’t know. My god I don’t know.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He said, ‘hello Lauren.’”

  “That’s it?”

  “Yes.”

  “No death threats or anything?”

  “He didn’t have to. If you’d seen the way he looked through me. Like I wasn’t even there.”

  “You weren’t there, Lauren.”

  “But I was.”

  “Okay.”

  “It scared me, Steve. I got the impression in just those two words, and standing there watching him mumble in his sleep. I got the impression it’s going to happen soon.”

  “The resurrection?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, he can’t do much right now. He’s got two cops and Kwon sitting on him. Be tough to get out of that house without someone noticing him.”

  “I don’t think any of those measures would stop him if he really meant to get out and do something about it.”

  Curran’s voice sounded fully awake now. “You think Kwon’s in danger?”

  “I think we’re all in danger.”

  “Goes without saying,” said Curran. “But what about imminent danger? I can phone Kwon if you need me to.”

  Lauren closed her eyes, still clutching the sheets to her. “I don’t know. I can’t honestly say. I just keep seeing his eyes. The way they looked. So cold. So hollow. Vacant almost, you know? Like he wasn’t even in his body.”

  “Want me to come over?”

  She hesitated again. Part of her wanted him to. Part of her yearned for him to come over and wrap her in his arms, to make the rest of the world dissolve into nothingness. He could protect her, she felt. She knew this. She desired it.

  “No,” she said finally. “I’ll see you in a few hours anyway.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “No,” said Lauren. “I’m not sure. But it’s better if you don’t.”

  “Why’s it better?”

  “Because we won’t be tempted to make a mistake.”

  “It might not be a mistake, Lauren. You ever think about that?”

  “All the time, Steve. All the time.”

  “You’re sure.”

  “I am.”

  He sighed. Lauren could feel his desperation even down the phone line. “All right. I’ll pick you up at seven. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “You call me if anything happens.”

  “I will.”

  “Or if you change your mind.”

  “I will.”

  “I can be there in ten minutes.”

  “I know.”

  “Ten minutes,” said Curran. “Not long at all.”

  Lauren smiled. “Good night, Steve.”

  “Good night, Lauren.”

  ***

  Curran called Kwon.

  Not that he was overly concerned, but he did find Lauren’s detail of Darius’ bedroom unerring. He sat on the edge of his bed, down slippers keeping his feet warm. They were the only things that could it seemed.

  Kwon answered on the third ring. “Why you bothering me?”

  “You always answer the phone that way?”

  “Only when I know it’s some sex-starved cop on the other end.”

  “Funny.” The winds outside howled. One of the shutters sounded like it had worked its way loose and was banging against the side of the house.

  “What’s up?”

  “Just got a call from Lauren.”

  “Ah, the little lady finally coming around for you?”

  “Not a chance.”

  “See? She’s too smart to get mixed up with a big lug like you.”

  “You know, Kwon, any time my ego’s in the dumps, there’s nothing like a call from you to make me feel even worse.”

  “Glad to oblige. So, why you calling me?”

  “Checking in.”

  “Dude, it’s almost three in the damned morning. Get some sleep.”

  “I was.” Before Lauren called and told me she’d been visiting with Darius, he thought.

  “Then she called.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Can’t sleep now?”

  “Well…” What was keeping him up at this ungodly hour? He frowned. Was it just Kwon’s safety? Or was it something else? An image of Lauren floated through his mind.

  Kwon sighed. “You love her don’t you?”

  Curran snapped back to reality. “I never said that.”

  “Christ, Curran, you don’t have to.”

  Was it even worthwhile trying to deny it anymore? “Probably not.”

  “Feeling like crap yet?”

  “Sure am.”

  “Good.”

  “Good? How is that good?”

  “Good you recognize that you’re in love with the lady.”

  “Feeling like crap means I’m in love?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’ve been in love a million times then.”

  “Bro, you know what I mean.”

  I don’t know anymore, he decided. He didn’t know what any of it meant. The only thing that felt right was being close to Lauren. Was that love? He guessed it was. He sighed again. “Cops still there?”

  “Oh yeah. Think they’re asleep though.”

  “Great.”

  “Bastions of law enforcement professionalism,” said Kwon. “You’re lucky to be associated with these guys.”

  “They’re Chestnut Hill PD, not Boston. That’s like comparing SEALs to Boy Scouts.”

  Kwon laughed. “What did Lauren say, anyway?”

  “Said she dreamed she visited Darius’ house and saw him in his bed.”

  “Wow.”

  “Said she heard him mumbling in some weird language in his sleep.”

  “Weird language? What, like speaking in tongues or something?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Spooky.”

  “Also said Darius woke up. Looked right at her. Even said hello.”

  “No wonder she called you.”

  And waking up to a night like it
was outside, afterward would have sent her over the edge, thought Curran. “Pretty freaky.”

  “Hell, I woulda called you.”

  “I’m touched.”

  “Been telling you that for years,” said Kwon. “So, how come you’re not over there comforting her right now?”

  “I offered.”

  “You offered.” Kwon’s voice began sounding like a frustrated schoolteacher.

  “Said I could be there in ten minutes.”

  “Ten minutes.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Curran, how long’s it been since you picked up a woman.”

  “A while.”

  “Push me over with a feather, I’m so shocked,” said Kwon. “Dude, you don’t ‘offer’ anything. Just show up.”

  “I can’t just show up.”

  “Why not?”

  It was a good question. Why couldn’t he just go over there? Why couldn’t he go and tell her how much he cared for her? “I don’t know.”

  “Right. That’s your problem.”

  “I don’t think she’d be happy about me just showing up unannounced.”

  “You’re picking her up anyway in the morning.”

  “Yeah. At seven.”

  “So, you’re four hours early.”

  “Great logic.”

  “Look, you want this woman or not? All I’ve been hearing from you for the last few days is how much you think she’s the greatest thing since take-out Chinese food. Now, I’m telling you if you go over there right now, it’ll be the best move you’ve made so far.”

  She might say no, thought Curran.

  “She won’t say no.”

  Curran almost smiled. “Reading minds now?”

  “It’s not too hard with you, pal.”

  “What if we’re a little late getting over to you?”

  “Don’t worry about me,” said Kwon. “I can handle things over here on the Satan worshipper front. Guy’s not going anywhere right now, anyway. Not with all this traffic outside his place. He’d be a damned fool to do anything like that.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure. Get going. Just take a shower first.”

  Curran smiled. “See you in a few hours.”

  “Tell Lauren I said hello.”

  “I will.”

  Curran hung up the phone and smiled. Maybe Kwon was right. He stood and looked at himself in the mirror.

  Only one way to find out, he decided.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Curran reached the house in Brighton forty minutes after he got off the phone with Kwon. Showered and shaved, he stepped from his car, looking up at the brick and wood building. Shadows from the closest trees hung over the gables like angry vultures.

  He hadn’t felt this nervous since his first date back in junior high school.

  It’s not too late, part of him thought. We could turn around, go home, and get a few more hours of sack time. A little extra sleep would certainly be good for him.

  He took a breath of cold pre-dawn air and shuddered. No more running away from it, he decided.

  He took the steps two at a time and rang the buzzer outside the door.

  It clicked two minutes later. Her voice didn’t sound sleepy. “Yes?”

  “Lauren. It’s Steve.”

  “Steve?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But I thought – what do you want?”

  “I need to see you. Can I come in?”

  She paused. “Hold on.”

  Curran stood waiting and a minute later the door buzzed open.

  ***

  Kwon sat in his car tapping in time to the beat on the radio. His cell phone was glued to his ear. The phone on the other end rang and rang and rang.

  And finally picked up.

  Kwon sat up straighter. “Yeah, hi. Can I put a request in? Thanks. How about some Def Leppard? Send it out to Kwon. Working the graveyard shift in Chestnut Hill. Thanks."

  He disconnected the phone and leaned back. Outside his car and above him, the sky seemed suddenly darker, as if all the black of night had been drawn over this particular section of the city. Kwon had difficulty determining where the sky ended and the shadowy groves of trees that lined the street began.

  Always darkest just before the light, he thought with a grin.

  I wonder who coined that term?

  He started to think about it but then his request came up and he soon lost himself in the steady drumbeat of his favorite song.

  Oblivious to the outside world.

  And one of the shadows that started moving.

  ***

  Curran stood outside of the interior door.

  It opened.

  Lauren stood there, hair dripping wet. Beads of water coated her exposed shoulders and neck. She was wrapped in a big terrycloth towel that ended just above her knees. Curran thought she looked amazing.

  She smiled. “Good morning.”

  “Hi.”

  She stepped back. “Come in.”

  Curran entered and saw how immaculate the house was. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected to find in a priest’s home. A tall thin hall table contained mail in a neat pile. Keys lay next to it. A small lamp with a rice paper shade was on, casting a soft glow over the entranceway. Curran saw wet footsteps drying on the hardwood floors.

  He nodded toward the interior. “You were in the shower. I’m sorry.”

  She shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep after I spoke to you.”

  Curran nodded. He shifted from foot to foot. “Where’s Father Jim?”

  “He had to go out of town tonight. Unexpectedly. I’m here alone.”

  “You should have called me. You shouldn’t be alone. Not with that guy Darius doing what he’s doing.”

  She leaned against the doorway, seemingly oblivious to the cool air. “Well, you’re here now.”

  “Yeah.”

  Lauren frowned. “Steve, are you all right?”

  “Huh? Uh, yeah. I’m okay. Why?”

  “Because you’re here about four hours too soon.”

  “Yeah.” Curran nodded. “I am. I had to see you.”

  She smiled. “You’ve seen me.”

  Curran grinned. “You look great.”

  “I’m in a towel, Steve. I’m dripping wet.”

  “The look suits you.”

  She shifted now. “Steve, I really need to get dried off – “

  But the words stopped coming from her mouth because Curran had suddenly grabbed her and planted his mouth on her, kissing her for the first time.

  ***

  Kwon shivered. A gust of wind rocked his car a little. It swayed from side to side and then settled back down again.

  He thought about turning the engine over and getting a little heat. He didn’t want to do that too soon and risk waking up the cops further down the street.

  I can’t sit here and freeze, though, he thought.

  A cold breeze wafted in through his vents as another gust rocked the car. Kwon felt the cold air crawl over him, tickling the hairs on his arms. The breeze wafted up his back, teasing his hair.

  Kwon’s teeth chattered.

  “Damn, it’s cold in here.”

  If it kept getting colder, he’d have to take a leak soon.

  Another breeze caught the car in its grasp.

  Kwon slapped his arms against his upper body and finally frowned. “Freak it.” He reached and turned the keys in the ignition. The Nissan turned over and instantly, a surge of hot air billowed out of the vents.

  Kwon smiled.

  Let the cold try to get him now, he thought.

  ***

  “Steve,” said Lauren when he finally broke the seal.

  “Don’t say anything,” he said. “I’ve wanted that for too long.”

  She stared at him.

  Curran took her face in his hands, cupping the back of her head and kissing her again. She moved into
his arms, pressing herself into his body.

  Curran tasted the fresh scent of shower on her. He traced his mouth down her neck, kissing and lapping up the water beading on her skin.

  She sighed.

  Moaned.

  He moved up toward her lips again. Kissing and nuzzling.

  She lapped at his mouth with her tongue. Tentative at first, then stronger as she relaxed.

  Curran felt her almost drop into him. Her lips moved back toward his ear, whispering kissing and softly licking his skin.

  Curran let his fingers dance down the back of her neck, rubbing her shoulders through the towel. She moaned again, pressing her leg in between his, feeling the pulsing hardness of his excitement.

  She licked his neck again.

  Curran kissed her neck, pulled her back away from him, looked into her eyes.

  “I love you,” he said, his voice a thick velvet whisper in the predawn dark.

  ***

  Even though the hot air had stilled the urgings of his bladder, Kwon knew it was time to pay heed to nature’s demands. He zipped up his coat and made sure his interior light wouldn’t turn on when he exited the car.

  He unlocked the door.

  His hand grasped the door release and he slid out into the cold night air. It enveloped him.

  Absolutely.

  As he walked away from his car, the shadows drew back and then encircled him, almost like a giant mouth about to enjoy an early breakfast.

  ***

  The towel slid off as if it hadn’t even been there.

  They walked, tripped, stumbled back toward the bedroom, Curran almost landing on top of Lauren as they hit the sheets.

  Curran could smell the sweat she must have woken up in.

  She kissed him hard, her tongue invading his mouth, searching for his own and then entwining itself around it as their juices swirled.

  Her hands fumbled further south, searching his belt buckle and then struggling to get it undone. Curran kept kissing her.

  She got his snap undone.

  Then the fly.

  In the hushed frenzy of their passion, the zipper coming undone sounded loud. They both smiled and then continued.

  Curran kicked off his shoes.

  Lauren ripped his pants off.

  He knelt down, seeing her breasts heave as she sat there tugging at the waistband of his jockey shorts. He bent his mouth over the nipple of her left breast, suckled it, licking her areola softly. She arched her back and pulled him onto her breast then moved his head to the right one.