by Jo Ann Brown
“Uh-huh, uh-huh,” Ezra’s other brothers chimed in on the old folk song.
Ezra smiled in spite of his nerves. He appreciated his brothers’ matchmaking, but he’d spent his time in the house trying to find a way to tell Leah why he was driving his courting buggy today. She hadn’t admitted one of the reasons she had to be in Paradise Springs was to spend time with him. He had to hope that today he could prove to her that he was a real reason to stay.
As his brothers started in on another chorus of the long folk song about the courting frog, he didn’t see what signal Joshua gave, but their younger brothers headed toward the house.
When they were out of earshot, Joshua said, “I pray it works out the way you want it to, Ezra. If we’d had any other choice, we wouldn’t have forced the issue.”
“Any other choice?” he repeated as he walked into the barn to retrieve a bucket and a small spade. Dropping the spade in the pail, he put them under the seat. He thought Joshua would ask why he was taking those items in his courting buggy, but he didn’t.
When Joshua spoke, Ezra understood his brother’s lack of curiosity. Joshua never liked delivering bad news, and he sighed before saying, “Amos and Isaiah told me that they heard Larry Nissley and Mervin Mast saying it’s growing clear you’re not really interested in Leah. Apparently both of them are.”
His brothers often overheard idle talk from customers coming into their shops. On the farm, he had less chance to learn the latest gossip. Both Larry and Mervin were hardworking men, but he wasn’t going to step aside so they could court Leah. Not until he and Leah had the talk he’d avoided for too long.
“Danki, Joshua,” he said as he reached for the reins.
“Just so you know, Esther is having her work frolic today at the school for the scholars’ parents. You might want to go there.”
“I think I will.” He slapped the reins gently on the horse and aimed its head toward the farm lane.
Joshua stepped back and waved as Ezra drove toward the road...and the conversation he couldn’t delay any longer.
* * *
Leah paused as she swept the school’s front porch. An open buggy was turning into the lane leading to the school. The scholars had left for the day, so why was someone coming now?
She smiled when she realized it was a courting buggy. Did Esther have a boyfriend? That he would come to the school made sense, because it would keep their courtship secret. With most of her brothers living at home, she might prefer not to have a suitor come to the house. The poor man would have to try to court her while surrounded by curious siblings.
Her mouth dropped open when she recognized the man driving toward her. Ezra! What was he doing with a courting buggy at the school? There was no reason to bring it for his sister. She could have borrowed it at home if she needed an open buggy for some reason.
He brought the buggy to a stop right in front of where Leah stood. Resting his arm on the back of the single seat, he smiled. He looked as fresh as a sunny morning with his neatly pressed green shirt. Again she couldn’t help noticing how his suspenders emphasized his broad shoulders. He’d never been a scrawny kid, but he’d grown into a muscular man with his work on the farm.
Abruptly self-conscious, she tucked loose strands of her hair back under her kapp. She was dusty from helping Esther and the scholars and their mamms wash down desks and windows, as well as put supplies and books back in their proper places. Her apron was spotted with bright blue after one of the younger scholars had splashed paint on her while trying to help, and another had spilled milk on her sneakers, leaving them splotched with faint white stars.
“If you’re looking for Esther, she’s finishing up inside,” Leah said, not quite meeting his eyes.
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m looking for you.”
“Well, here I am.” She went back to sweeping dust and bits of grass off the porch floor, hoping she appeared nonchalant even though her hands were clumsy as her fingers shook on the broom’s handle.
“So you are.” He jumped out and climbed the steps in a motion so smooth that it seemed as if he’d floated up to stand beside her. “Where’s Mandy?”
“She headed home with the other scholars.”
“Gut.”
“Gut?” she repeated. When his eyes began to twinkle, she became more aware of how silly she sounded.
“Ja, because there isn’t really room for three in the buggy.” He leaned one hand on a porch upright and asked, “Leah Beiler, will you let me take you home?”
“Ezra, we’re not youngsters, and this isn’t a singing.”
“Maybe not, but you need eventually to go home.” He waved his straw hat at the school. “Unless you plan on sleeping in there tonight.” Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, he added, “I can assure you that falling asleep with your head on a desk isn’t very comfortable.”
“That sounds like the voice of experience. Did you do that?”
“Only once.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“It must have been the year before you started school. We’d had a particularly long game of softball at recess, and I ended up running around the bases a lot.” His boyish grin resembled the mischievous one she recalled from those long-ago innocent days. “The teacher woke me up and suggested I go splash cold water on my face. Everyone watched while I did.”
“And teased you about it afterward.”
His smile widened. “Of course. I was Easy-Asleep Ezra for the whole year.”
“That’s a mouthful of nickname.”
“Which is probably why it was forgotten by the time school started the next fall.” His expression grew serious again. “But we’ve gotten off the subject, Leah. Will you let me drive you home?”
“Are you sure that you can stay awake long enough?”
He gave a mock groan. “I should have known better than to tell you that story. You know enough about my misadventures already.”
“And you know mine.”
“Not all of them.” He grew serious in spite of how his eyes sparkled. “I know the girl named Leah Beiler, but not the woman named Leah Beiler.”
That betraying blush burned on her cheeks, and she half turned her back on him as she ran the broom along the last boards at the end of the porch. “There’s not much difference.”
“I disagree.”
“Then you’re wrong.”
“Prove it to me.”
At his challenge spoken in an utterly calm voice, she couldn’t keep herself from looking back at him. The honest entreaty on his features defeated her protests even before she spoke another word.
Holding out his hand, he said, “Ride with me and prove me wrong.”
She had to give him an answer. They couldn’t spend the rest of their lives in front of the school. Yet, to accept a ride in his courting buggy was certain to create a huge change in their relationship. It was one she wanted to take, but she wondered if she truly was being fair to Ezra.
Last night, Mandy had talked nonstop for almost an hour about what she wanted to do when they went back to Philadelphia. Leah thought she was talking about spending a few days in the city in addition to Isabella’s sleepover until Mandy asked if they would be living in the same apartment or if they could move somewhere with room for a garden like her grossmammi’s.
He put his hand over hers on the broomstick. “Don’t look serious,” he said, his smile returning like the sun erupting past the edge of a cloud. “All I’m asking is if I can take you home.”
“True.” She drew her fingers out from beneath his and took the broom to the school’s door. “Esther, do you mind if I leave now?”
Ezra’s sister came to take the broom and smiled. “I’d say it’s about time.”
Leah decided the best a
nswer to that was simply to bid the schoolteacher farewell. She hurried down the steps, as conscious of Ezra following close behind as if he were touching her.
He stepped past her and offered his hand again when he stood by the buggy. This time, she didn’t hesitate, placing her fingers on his work-hardened palm. She wanted to keep holding his hand after he’d assisted her into the buggy but released it quickly. Even though there was only Esther to see them, she couldn’t forget what remained between them. A thick wall built, brick by brick, by the decisions she’d made and the ones she must make.
Locking her fingers together on her lap, she watched him come around the buggy. He glanced at her as he picked up the reins and said nothing, simply gave the horse the signal to go. When Esther waved, they did, too.
The horse stepped lively along the rise and fall of the road leading toward Paradise Springs. At a crossroads, he turned the horse in the opposite direction of their farms. It was a lovely spring afternoon, the perfect day for a drive. Yet...
“Is something wrong, Leah?” Ezra asked.
She almost said that feeling nervous with him was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead she said, “Mamm expects me home soon.”
“I know, but she will be pleased by the reason for our little detour.”
Curiosity replaced her uncertainty. “I won’t ask you what you’ve got planned, because I learned long ago that it was useless when you want to tease me by knowing something I don’t know.”
He grinned. “I was right. You know me too well.”
“But you’ve changed, too, Ezra.”
“I have. For the better, I can assure you.”
She nudged his arm with her elbow as he chuckled. His jesting set the tone for their conversation as they followed the twisting country road past farms and a new housing development for Englischers. The sound of hammers and heavy equipment was left behind when he steered the buggy onto a narrower road. Cars seldom came this way, but, if one did, there would scarcely be room for the buggy on the road, so Ezra pulled to the right as they approached the crown of every rise.
Relaxing, Leah drew in the lush scents of freshly cut hay and overturned earth. Winter had put the land to sleep, but with spring, it and the creatures who lived upon it, including the farm families, had come back to life.
Ahead of them a few miles down the road, a covered bridge crossed a small stream. Its official name was Coblentz Mill Bridge, but Leah preferred what everyone called it: Toad Creek Bridge. The exterior of the wooden structure was painted a mossy green. Inside the wood was bare except for some boards advertising business that no longer existed. Reed’s Drug Store had gone out of business before she was born, and the buggy shop’s advertisement was for the one where her grossdawdi had bought her daed’s courting buggy.
The sound of the horse’s hooves clattered hollowly as they drove inside the bridge. Sunlight found its way past every gap in the boards and through the triangular latticework near the roof, dappling them in sunshine and shadows. Seeing the pattern on the bridge’s floor, she wondered if it had inspired the quilt pattern she enjoyed making.
“That’s not gut,” Ezra said as he pointed toward a decking board that had been painted a bright orange with the words Danger—Weak Board scrawled on the wall above it with an arrow aimed at the board.
“I hope it’s fixed before it gets worse.”
“Or someone puts a wheel through it.” He moved the buggy farther to the left and urged the horse to hurry to the other side of the bridge before a car came in the other direction.
Ezra stopped the buggy past the stone walls edging the road beyond the covered bridge. He got out and lashed the reins to a nearby tree. Coming back to where she sat, he put his hand atop hers on the buggy’s side. Late-afternoon birdsong filled the air along with the buzz of bees working swiftly as they went from flower to flower in the bushes beside the road.
“When I passed here earlier in the spring, I saw some wild daffodils down along the stream,” he said. “Your mamm mentioned to mine that she was hoping to find some to put in front of your porch. By now, they’re long past blooming, so it’s a gut time to transplant them. Shall we get some for her?”
“Ja,” she said, pleased with the outing he’d planned.
He had her pull a metal pail out from under the seat. When she handed it to him, their fingers brushed, creating an actual spark. She knew it’d been caused by her shifting on the plush fabric of the seat, but each time they touched, she’d felt something like that bright flicker.
“This way,” Ezra said, after helping her out of the buggy. He led the way past the stone wall and down to the stream.
On a level space close to the water, the brown and drooping stems of what once had been vibrant daffodils huddled among the grass. Ezra squatted down and began carefully cutting a circle in the dirt. He made it large enough so he could dig without disturbing the bulbs themselves.
Leah went to the stream and tilted the pail. Allowing a small amount of water to gather in the bottom, she carried it back to where he was working. He handed each clump of wizened stems to her as he lifted them from the ground. She placed the daffodils with dirt still around the bulbs and their roots on top of the water. Keeping the plants moist until they could be transplanted was vital for the daffodils to survive in their new home.
Working together with him, her fingers warmed by the soil, she released the last of the tension that she’d carried with her since long before her return to Paradise Springs. She hummed lightly while she continued to take the plants and set them with care in the pail.
“You’ve got such a pretty singing voice,” Ezra said. “I’ve always loved hearing you sing.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“I never told you because I didn’t want you getting such a swelled head your kapp wouldn’t fit on any longer.”
“Danki,” she retorted. “That would have been embarrassing.”
“See what a gut friend I am?”
She lowered another daffodil into the bucket. “Friend? Is that what we are?”
“That’s what you told me you wanted the day of the mud sale. Is that what you still want?” His smile was gone, replaced by an intensity that captured her gaze and wouldn’t let go. She saw how important her answer was to him.
Before she could answer him, she had a question of her own. Gripping the side of the metal bucket, she said, “The night before I left with Johnny, you and I were together alone. Do you remember it?”
“Ja.” His voice was clipped, and she couldn’t tell if he recalled that night with yearning as she did or if he remembered it only because it was the last time they’d seen each other for ten long years.
“We were talking, and you brushed a mosquito away from me.”
“Ja.”
“And we kissed. Was that kiss an accident because we both turned at the same time?” As soon as she spoke them, she wanted to pull back the words that she had tried to leave unsaid since her return. She hadn’t been able to submerge her curiosity, but would knowing the truth would be any easier?
“Ja.”
With that single word, her heart plummeted into a deep pit of regret. For ten years, she’d dared to believe that night had been as special for him as it had been for her. For ten years, she’d been fooling herself.
She stood, too humiliated to stay. “I should—I should...that is, Mamm will be expecting me...” Words failed her entirely as tears flooded her throat.
He was on his feet and in front of her before she could take more than a pair of paces. She moved to step around him. He halted her by putting his hand on her left arm. She closed her eyes, unable to see what she feared was pity on his face.
His gentle fingers curved along her cheek. “Look at me, Leah.”
“I can’t. I shouldn’t have said anything about som
ething that happened long ago. I was being silly.”
“You weren’t being silly. Not then, and not today.”
Slowly she opened her eyes and gazed up into his, which were the brown of the overturned earth behind her. For the first time since she had returned, she could read the emotions within them as easily as she once had. Suddenly her tears were for him and the grief he tried to keep hidden. Grief for those he had lost. His daed, Joshua’s wife, Johnny...
And her?
She yearned to tell him that he had never lost her, that the connection they formed through their childhood had been one string she couldn’t bear to let unravel. She had longed to return to her family because her home was with them. She had longed to return to Ezra Stoltzfus, because her heart was with him.
“Ezra—”
“Let me finish, Leah. That kiss was an accident, but it’s an accident that I have thanked God for every day since.”
“You have?” The last of the frozen regret around her heart cracked and disappeared at his earnest words.
“Ja.” His lopsided smile, the one she’d always liked best, tilted his lips. “I had wanted to show you how I felt, but I guess I was the coward your brother called me.”
“You’re not a coward. You’ve never been afraid to do what’s right, even when it was difficult. And you’re willing to take a risk to make your dream of making and selling cheese come true.”
“But those things have never been as important as our friendship. I was afraid that by revealing the truth I’d ruin it. Especially if you didn’t feel the same.”
“I was afraid, too. Afraid that the kiss meant nothing.”
He sighed and lowered his hand. “And why wouldn’t you? I ran away like a frightened deer with the hunter on its tail. I felt bad that I hadn’t taken you home properly, and I intended to tell you as soon as I was finished my chores the next evening, but you’d already left. I feared I had chased you away.”
“No, you didn’t. I didn’t ever plan to leave Paradise Springs. I went with Johnny to bring him home.”
“I know that now, but the kid I was then didn’t.”
