Playing in SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 9)

by Crystal Perkins

  “Wow.”

  “I know. You get used to it,” Audrey tells me.

  “Jeanne,” Scott yells, “welcome to barbeque night.”

  “Why isn’t he welcoming us?” I ask, grumbling a little.

  “Because we are not a teenage girl who might feel intimidated by all of them at once.”

  “You have to be sensible, don’t you?”

  “About this, yes.”

  Maggie wipes her hands on her jeans before coming over to envelope Audrey in a hug. “I’m so glad you could make it tonight. We’ve missed you.”

  “I don’t come every week.”

  “No, but you used to come more. Before…”

  Me? Does she mean before me? “I didn’t know I was keeping you from your friends, Dree.”

  “Oh, you’re not. She didn’t mean you. Maggie and I have had some rough times lately, but we’re working on it.”

  “Yes, we are. And you and your daughter are welcome to come here with Audrey whenever you’d like, Blake. Despite what it looks like, the boys actually leave some food for others.”

  “I’m not sure Jeanne should be around Scott so much. No offense, but I don’t like the way she is around him. Following him around like he walks on water.”

  “You see him now, but I can tell you that when he was Jeanne’s age, not many girls were taking notice of him. Unless it was to tease him about being a nerd who didn’t care about dressing in the ‘right’ clothes.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” Audrey answers. “I met Scott when he was just about to start college, and he was a skinny boy with big glasses. He didn’t come into his own until he’d been in college for a little while. Then, every girl on campus wanted him. It was funny to watch him as he tried to navigate all of that.”

  “By ‘navigate’ she means that my son slept his way through every girl at his school.”

  “Except for Ainsley,” Audrey says.

  “Yes, well, Ainsley wasn’t like the rest. She had a crush on him, sure, but he cared too much for her as a friend to use her.”

  “Wasn’t that weird? Him working so closely with her when she had a crush on him?” I ask, still utterly confused by the idea of the tattooed guy in front of me being a nerd who was picked on.

  “No, it wasn’t,” Scott’s wife, Yasmin, says, coming up to our little group. “Their friendship has always come first to both of them. When Ainsley started dating Zack, Scott had a talk with her where he told her he always thought she was amazing, and that meant a lot to her. They’re closer than ever now.”

  “And you’re not bothered by that, even a little bit?”

  “Not even a little bit. My husband never stops showing me how much he loves me—and wants me. He will give Jeanne attention, because he genuinely likes her, and he knows what it’s like to be her, but he won’t encourage her in any romantic way. It will always be as a friend, and he’s made sure she knows that. She actually spent more time with me than with him when she stayed over with us. We talked about books we love, and a little bit about you and Audrey, too.”

  “Thank you. I’m not used to having an almost teenage daughter yet. Seeing her with a crush is scary. The boy she liked in San Diego disappointed her, and that nearly broke my heart, right along with hers.”

  “It doesn’t get any easier,” Maggie tells me. “You always worry about your children, and grandchildren, it’s your job. You do learn to step back and let them fall if they need to, making sure you’re there to help them clean up the scrapes once they pick themselves up again.”

  “I may be calling you for help.”

  “Any time, Blake.”

  Once Gary brings over the burgers and steaks, we all load our plates and sit at the long picnic table that must have been custom built because it fits all of the adults. The little kids sit at a smaller version of the table, but Jeanne’s sitting with us. I think her loyalty is shifting, though. It’s Luke Griffin that she seems to be swooning over now as he talks to her about what it’s like to be an elementary school teacher. His wife, Olivia, winks at me, and I manage to smile back at her, despite the fact that I want to now lock Jeanne in some random tower until she’s an adult.

  Olivia’s sister, Rose, is here visiting the Griffins, and she tries to engage Jeanne in conversation about school, but it’s no use. Luke is the only one she’s paying attention to, and I’m Googling castles for sale in between bites of my burger. Rose goes to MIT and is another woman who breaks the myth of beauty not mixing with brains. She’s absolutely gorgeous, and pretty sassy, too. She also doesn’t mince words. “Aud, I thought you were with Ares Dixon.”

  “No, Ares is just a good friend.”

  “He’s a pig. Why would you want to be friends with him?”

  Audrey puts down her fork, and tilts her head as she looks at Rose. “Have you met him?”

  “Yeah. I went to a race, and he caught me looking at his car.”

  “His car?”

  “I kind of have an obsession with cars, and engines, and stuff,” she says with a shrug. “Of course, that was unfathomable to Ares. He thought I was a pit bunny, just there for a good time to roll around the floor of the garage.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Did he hurt you, Rose?” Luke asks, and from the look on his face, I think Ares had better watch his back. Team Luke seems like a pretty awesome place to be at the moment.

  “No, I am not kidding. Chicks do that. You know that from playing hockey, plus all the moms who go full-on Cougar when they see you at the school. I don’t begrudge those women their fun—they know what they’re getting, and if that’s what they want, I say go for it—but I’m not sleeping with some oversexed driver who thinks he’s God’s gift. And no, he didn’t hurt me. I kneed him in the balls and walked away while he cried out for help.”

  Maggie and Audrey share a look, and I can’t tell what it means. No one else seems to notice, so I let it go. Whatever they have going on is something I’ll probably never know about. I’ve already accepted that I’ll never be privy to all the super spy secrets, and vowed to not obsess over it, because that would just make me crazy, and I still wouldn’t be told anything I’m not supposed to know anyway.

  “Who’s ready for some cake?” Maggie asks, standing up, and effectively changing the subject.

  The other Griffin women go inside with her. When they return, the rest of the Society girls and their guys, along with their mentors and a reluctant looking Kendrick, are with them. They have a big cake with baby stuff all over it, and I can’t help but smile. Audrey is so loved by everyone, me included, and I know that them doing this for her will mean a lot to her. When she turns her face to sob into my shirt, I pull her close, and chuckle into her hair.

  “Aud?” Reina asks, her eyes going wide.

  “It’s the hormones. I think,” I tell her.

  “Oh okay. Well, we just wanted to say how happy we are for you—both of you. We’ll have a shower for you later, but we wanted to celebrate with you now, too.”

  “Thank you,” Audrey says, turning to smile at all of them. “And Kenny, you came to celebrate with us, too. That’s awesome.”

  “Yes, well I was coerced.”

  “Just admit it, Doc. You were hoping to see me naked again,” I say, making everyone but him laugh.

  “You,” he sputters. “I thought you would be normal. But no, I guess it’s too much to expect for any of you to act appropriately.”

  “Tell us more about Blake being naked,” Candi says, her eyes sparkling as Owen glares at me.

  “Audrey and I were celebrating the baby in our own way, but Kendrick interrupted us.”

  “You were in my hospital wing. The door was not locked, and you…this is just…dear God why did I not stay in emergency medicine?”

  “Because I pay you much better than you’d ever make there, and you get to make a difference in many lives with the public work we do. Live sex shows are just a bonus,” Reina tells him with a straight face.

&
nbsp; “Mrs. Corrigan,” Kendrick says, turning to Jane Corrigan, who is trying to hide her smile behind her cocktail, “is there no chance of you returning to the helm?”

  “No, Kendrick, and even if I had to for some reason, you would be seeing and doing the same things. If you’re really unhappy, you are free to leave. No one is forced to stay with us.”

  “I do not wish to leave. I just wish to see less sexual encounters in my patient rooms.”

  “We’ll try to behave,” Ellie tells him.

  “You two are the worst! You get hurt the most often, and misbehave even more.”

  “We know. I’ll keep it in my pants until we’re out of the hospital wing. Promise,” Aiden tells him.

  “Thank you.”

  “Can I have my cake now? It looks yummy. You got it from Drago Sisters, right?” Audrey asks.

  “Like we would go somewhere else. And yes, let’s eat,” Maggie tells her.

  I lean over to Audrey, and whisper in her ear, because I can’t pass up the chance to tease her. “Did you just really say ‘yummy?’”

  “I did. Now shut up and feed me some cake before I eat your piece, too.”

  “Yes, boss.”

  “Not boss. Partner. We’re partners.”

  “That we are.”

  Chapter 24

  Audrey

  It’s opening night for the play, which means it’s also the last night we have together before Blake leaves on his press tour. He was supposed to have a week off in between, but they needed him early, and he has to go. The past several weeks have been like a dream, one where I get to wake up with the man I love, and go to bed with him again every night. But they’ve also been a little rough.

  I’ve tried really hard to get past our past, but I know he feels me holding back. In fact, we had a huge fight about it last night. I close my eyes and think about the things he said to me.

  “I love you so much, Audrey. I can’t keep going like this, though. I don’t know what more I can do to prove that I’ve changed. That I’m not going to let you down again. I want to move forward with you. I’m not expecting you to forget our past, but you have to get past it if we’re going to have a future. Can you do that?”

  I couldn’t answer him, and so he left. He walked out and went to sleep in Aiden’s old place. I wasn’t even sure he’d want me to go tonight, but then he texted me this morning, telling me he loved me and would spend the rest of his life proving that to me. I feel like a royal bitch, and I really need to talk to someone, but I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone, focusing instead on getting ready for tonight.

  I’ve just started to show, but only when I wear tight clothes, so Stella brought over some looser dresses, and I’m trying to decide on which on to go with. I didn’t want a big group dress-up party tonight, because between the fight and Blake leaving, I’m feeling moody and hormonal, so I told everyone to stay away. It’ll be hard to put on a brave face later, so I just need some time to cry a little by myself right now.

  My doorbell rings, and I go down in my robe to answer it. I’m not really surprised to see Tegan standing there, already dressed and ready to go. “It took you long enough,” I tell her as I open the door to let her in.

  “I wanted to see how you reacted to Caleb’s talk before I came and talked to you myself. I thought I might not have to.”

  “But now you think you do.”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. You can help me decide on a dress while we talk,” I tell her, leading her up the stairs.

  “Stella says it has to be the white sheath with the black sheer embellished overlay that looks kind of like a storm is happening.”

  “How dangerous would it be if I choose a different one?”

  “You know she’s right.”

  “Of course she’s right. I was already leaning towards that one. It’s just frustrating that she knows my body better than I do.”

  “It’s all the anatomy classes she took in fashion school.”

  “Probably, but it’s still freaky.”

  “It is,” she agrees.

  I slip on the dress, and then sit in front of my vanity to do my hair and makeup. “Go ahead and say what you need to.”

  “You know my story, and what I went through. I mean, hell, since the videos of me at the carnival went viral, pretty much the whole world knows.”

  “True. But it’s a good story for the young women of the world to hear.”

  “It is. I don’t love that I lived it, because it was fucking hard, but once I realized that I could help others with my story, I was able to look past the pain, and find the good in my life right now.”

  “I’m trying to get over my past.”

  “But you haven’t yet. I see it in your eyes when you look at Blake. You’re holding back part of yourself from him.”

  It’s time for me to finally admit it to someone, and she’s the best person for the job. “There’s this little voice that just keeps telling me I’m not good enough, and that I’m going to be waiting for him again while he’s off laughing at me. I know it’s not logical, but it’s there. And I’m scared.”

  “That man hangs on your every word, and looks at you like you’re a present he’s waited his whole life to unwrap. He’s not going to leave you again, and I know he’ll do his damnedest to not ever let you down. He will let you down sometimes, and you’ll do the same to him. It’s life—no one behaves the way we want them to, all of the time. You’ve got to let go of the past, and give yourself to the present, and the future, if there’s ever going to be a chance for the two of you.”

  “I know. I want to, and he wants me to. We fought about it last night, and he slept downstairs. I just don’t know how to do it. How to forget.”

  “I can’t tell you that, either. For me, I just decided I loved Cal too much to let our future be dictated by our past. You won’t forget, but you have to forgive. I want to be with him for the rest of my life, and if we didn’t forgive each other—and ourselves—that could never happen.”

  “I’ve forgiven him.”

  “Now you need to forgive yourself.”

  “Me? I didn’t do anything wrong.” Did I?

  “You were that weak girl who waited for him; you let him humiliate you. I know you Audrey, and there is no way it doesn’t bother you when you think about her. The teenage you who didn’t stand up for herself. You need to remember that she wasn’t the real you yet. She was a scared young girl who wasn’t equipped to handle what was happening to her. You have to be strong enough to forgive yourself for being weak. Only then can you move on.”

  “When did you get so wise?”

  “When people tried to humiliate me as an adult, and I couldn’t fight for myself because I still blamed the girl I’d been over a decade before for making me look weak enough to take down.”

  “But they didn’t take you down. You thrived.”

  “Because of Caleb, and all of you.”

  “No. We all stood with you, but it was you giving that speech and telling your story that day. It was you who took back your history, and chose your future. I’m so proud of you, Tegan. For that day, and for coming here to tell me to get my shit together.”

  “You mean so much to all of us, Aud. You’ve loved and protected us through all these years. I want you to see the woman that we all see. The woman we all admire and love. Let Blake in, and give both of you the future you two deserve.”

  We’re both crying now, and I know I’ll have to redo my makeup, but I don’t care. I pull Tegan down onto my lap as she laughs. We hug each other tight for a few minutes, and then she pulls back to look at me in amusement.

  “Thanks, Teeg. I mean it. I knew everything you said already, but I needed to hear it. Blake has to go on this publicity tour, but when he gets back, I want to be ready to move forward with him.”

  “Good. For the moment, let’s just get you ready for the play. I’ll do your hair while you fix your face.”

  “Perfect.”

  We fin
ish up pretty quickly, and then rush down to where Cal and Ethan are waiting in the car. We make it to the theater with only a few minutes to spare, taking our reserved seats next to Jeanne as the lights flicker. Blake comes out to address the audience, and I swear his smile grows bigger for both his daughter, and for me. I smile back and blow him a kiss, which he catches and pretends to put in his pocket.

  The play is amazing, and the standing ovation afterwards is well deserved. I want to tell Blake what a good job he did, but he’s surrounded by the cast and their families, as well as some women who obviously don’t have kids here, but came to the play for him anyways. Jeanne is with her dad, but I don’t know my place, so I just lean against the wall and wait my turn.

  * * *

  Blake

  Everything went just as planned tonight, and there’s only one thing that could make me happier. Or more accurately, one person. The woman who’s standing against the wall, looking unsure of herself, while I accept congratulations and thanks from everyone else. I’m more than happy to give time to the students, parents, and teachers who approach me. The women who are here for me alone, to show my appreciation for the ticket sales that go to the school, I sign some autographs and take some pictures, but I want nothing else to do with them.

  I want my woman, and I decide I can’t wait any longer for her. We fought last night, but spending the night alone sucked. I need her to get past everything, but I also need her. If that means I have to suck it up, and ignore the fact that she’s holding back a part of herself, then so be it.

  I excuse myself from the people surrounding me, and then walk with purpose to Audrey. She sees me coming and walks forward a few steps, biting her lip. I cup her face and kiss her hard. She holds my biceps and kisses me back with just as much passion.