The Dividing Line

by Victoria H. Smith

  “Lace?”

  I closed my eyes, but opened them quickly so he wouldn’t see how affected I was. I couldn’t stop my nostrils from flaring though. I just couldn’t. Goddammit, why couldn’t I control my freakin’ emotions?

  “Lace, I was going to tell you.”

  “When?” I managed to get out. I clasped my hands together in my lap so they wouldn’t shake.

  “Tomorrow. First thing, I swear to you. I just found out this morning and didn’t want to tell you on your birthday. I didn’t want to ruin your day. I wanted it to be special.”

  It was like a switch went off in that instant, a dramatic heightening of my senses as I took in his words.

  My birthday.

  I gazed around the beautiful rooftop restaurant, the sparkling votive candles on the tables setting a glow on the glistening jewelry of the other diners who could afford such a dinner.

  Jewelry.

  My new charm on my bracelet, something so treasured before, became weighted lead on my wrist, and when our server deposited two glasses of my favorite wine on the table—the price of which I was very aware of—my stomach churned.

  My eyes went from the wine glass to Drake. If I wasn’t sick before, the expression he gave me definitely made me feel nauseous. He looked stricken, completely downtrodden that he might have upset me. All he wanted was for me to have a good birthday. Even if that meant paying for an expensive dinner and buying me a gift he couldn’t afford. He didn’t want to ruin my day.

  I went for my handbag next.

  “What are you doing, Lace?”

  I didn’t answer him, retrieving my wallet.

  “Lace?”

  When I still didn’t respond, he came over and settled his hands on my shoulders. “Lacey, what are you doing?”

  “I’m paying for this. All of this. You shouldn’t have to. Not after just being fired. I won’t allow it.”

  “That’s not happening. Put your wallet away. You’re not paying for your own birthday dinner.”

  I had just gotten my euros when he grabbed my hand.

  “Lacey, I said that’s not happening.”

  I struggled with him and was forced into submission when he let go of my hand and put his own on my cheeks, making me look into his eyes. He looked so sad.

  “Lacey, stop. Please stop,” he said, his eyes scanning mine.

  Closing my eyes, I turned my head away from him. He only let go of my face after I had returned the money back to my pocketbook and sat back in his chair after I’d put my purse back down. We sat in silence, the soft banter of other diners the only sound around us.

  “We need to talk about what you’re going to do,” I said, finally breaking the quiet.

  He shook his head. “No. Just let it go for tonight.”

  Gazing away from him, I took in the city view. “I can help you. I’ve got my wages and still have Mama’s life insurance. I haven’t touched it since I moved here. You won’t have to worry about anything while you look for work.”

  He gave a short laugh, and my gaze returned to him. There wasn’t an ounce of amusement on his face.

  “I knew you’d do this once you found out.” He pushed his hand through his inky black hair.

  My lips went tight. I crossed my arms, leaning back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “This,” he said, gesturing to me. “Thinking you need to come in on your white horse and save me.”

  “Well, I’m sorry, but that’s what people do when the people they care about need help.”

  Leaning over the tablecloth, he put his fingers to his chest. “I can handle things myself. I don’t need my girlfriend to take care of me.”

  “So that’s what this is really about? Your frickin’ pride?”

  My voice was a bit loud when I said that, and he looked around. Honestly, I didn’t care if people heard us. I was freakin’ pissed.

  He drew in a deep breath and lowered his voice. “This isn’t about pride. It’s about you intruding. Pushing yourself into my business when it doesn’t concern you.”

  “Don’t you understand that you are my business? Look around, Drake.” I raised my hands, gesturing to our environment. “We’re a couple living by ourselves in a foreign country. We need to take care of each other. Be able to rely on each other if the other needs something. That’s what two people do when they’re in a committed relationship. There should be no pride on the table. No shame for taking help.”

  “Well being in a relationship also means that the two people listen to each other. They discuss issues and don’t try to strong arm the other.”

  Is that what he thought I was trying to do? Bully him? “I didn’t mean to come across that way.”

  “Yeah, well, you do sometimes. Sensible, responsible Lacey is always right and I’m always wrong.”

  I shut up the minute he snipped the words at me. He sighed when he realized I did. He put his hands face up in the center of our table.

  “Give me your hands,” he said to me.

  I just stared at his with a frown, but when he pouted his adorable bottom lip, I couldn’t hold onto the expression.

  “Are you going to make a grown man cry, Lacey?” he said, blinking sad puppy dog eyes.

  Damn him. Sliding my hands across the table, I made it into his. He lifted them and kissed my knuckles. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

  After letting out a breath, I was able to release some of the tension I had built up, and I was glad for it. I gave him a faint smile. “No. I am. You’re right. We should discuss things.”

  He smoothed his thumbs over my hands, his lips lifted. “I like that idea. So what are your thoughts on the situation?”

  Sitting for a moment, I mentally went over where to start so we could deal with the situation in the best way possible. “Well where are you at right now? Financially, I mean.”

  “There’s my savings but it will dry up pretty quick without an income. Maybe a couple of weeks before I have to worry.”

  I nodded. “Have you thought about contacting your parents? I was talking to Margot, and she mentioned something about trust funds. Do you have one of those? If you do, I don’t think your parents can take it from you.”

  “Yes, I have one, but I’m not going to them about it. You’re right. They can’t interfere with my trust, but I’ve chosen to do things on my own. And my parents never attempted to take anything from me. As far as I know, they haven’t cut me off, but I told you I walked away. I don’t want anything to do with them or their money. Not after all that went down and definitely not until they can get over themselves and respect the fact that I want to be with you.”

  “Yeah, but going to them would make things so much easier, don’t you think?”

  He shook his head adamantly. “I’m doing things by myself. I want to be independent.”

  I guess I could respect his decision, but having him ask them for help would definitely solve so many problems. I knew he came from a lot of money. Heck, he probably wouldn’t have to work again. At least not until he found something that he wanted to spend the rest of his life doing. I smiled when I thought about another idea, but was I brave enough to propose it?

  Fighting the butterflies, I edged a look at him. “We could move in together. That would save money.”

  Any smile I had on my face left the minute he laughed. He freakin’ laughed!

  “Funny, Lace,” he said, staring at our hands.

  I let go of his. “Why is that funny?”

  His own smile left his face. “You weren’t joking?”

  “No. I wasn’t.” I snatched my hands off the table and grabbed my bag from the floor. I was shaking. I was livid, but the hurt I felt outweighed the anger ten times over.

  He didn’t want to live with me.

  “Lace, we’ve been together less than a year.”

  I actually laughed although I found nothing at all funny in the moment.

  I removed my napkin from my lap and threw it o
n the table. “Yeah, and we’ve also had sex, Drake. Lots and lots of hot sex, and we’re not married. We haven’t exactly been the poster children for conventional norms last I checked.” I did regret shouting at him a bit when we got a few looks from other diners, but I was so mad I charged on. “And I’m sorry, is there a law written somewhere that says people can’t live together if they’ve been dating less than a year?”

  “No, but—” His eyes widened when I stood. “Where are you going?”

  “I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.” I tried to pass him, but he grabbed my arm.

  “Let’s just talk about this for a goddamn minute. It’s your birthday. We can—” he paused, bringing his voice down. “We can figure this out. Just sit back down so we can have dinner.”

  Tears threatened to fall, but I swallowed hard, choking them back. He would not see I was upset. He would not see I was upset. “I wanna go home.”

  His eyes studied mine for a moment before he let go of me. “Fine.” Waving down our server, he said, “Garçon.”

  The waiter came over, and he muttered something in French to him. I assumed that he wanted our bill for the wine.

  My legs shook as I waited by the table, but I didn’t want to create more of a scene than I already had by charging off.

  The waiter brought back the bill, and Drake took it, reaching into his pocket. Honestly, it took all I had in me to remain standing there. There would definitely not be any talking on our cab ride home. He’d be checking into the doghouse the minute we got back to our apartment complex.

  “Lace, what’s this?”

  I whipped my head around to yell, “What?”, but the word solidified in my throat.

  He held the small stack of euros I’d shoved into his wallet a few nights before.

  He shook them, waiting for me to say something. I couldn’t as I stared at the look on his face. He looked so pissed, and that was one thing Truman Drake never got. He was such a laid-back guy, so when he got angry like this it was a rare occurrence. And if he did, it was never at me.

  His eyes urged me to speak, but I couldn’t say anything. I was unable to lie to him because I never did, and I didn’t have it in me to reveal the truth. Instead, I chose to shrug.

  He crossed his arms. “Answer me, please.”

  He also knew I couldn’t lie to him, which was exactly why he prompted me with those words.

  When I finally found my voice, it was soft, withdrawn. “I felt guilty about how much you probably spent on those lilies—”

  “The lilies you said you loved.”

  “I did. I do. But there were just so many. I was scared you wouldn’t be able to make rent and—” I couldn’t continue. By the cast-off look he was giving me, I knew he was done hearing me.

  He stood. “I’m glad you lost your appetite because I couldn’t eat anything now even if I wanted to.”

  And those were the last words he said before passing me. He breezed through the rooftop doors, and I couldn’t do anything but follow him.

  Chapter Ten

  Drake

  “Lacey?” I said, so she’d know I was there.

  She lay on her bed, facing the wall opposite me. She lifted her face from her pillow just slightly, and I knew she was awake. She couldn’t sleep any more than I could.

  I slipped through the crack of her door and into the bedroom lit only by the moonlight shining in from her window.

  I sat slowly on the edge of her bed; the bedsprings making soft creaks as I did. I waited for a moment for her to say something to me but she didn’t. I kind of knew she wouldn’t. She was still pissed at me. As she should be. Tonight, I unfortunately let my anger get the best of me. No matter how mad she made me by what she did, I should have let it go. I should have been the bigger person. If anything because it was her birthday. A birthday I managed to successfully ruin by keeping things from her in the first place. The cherry on top was when I abandoned her for the rest of the evening over something that she genuinely believed was a helpful gesture. In fact, it was. I knew my Lacey, and she didn’t mean anything by it. She was just trying to help me out, and that made me feel even worse. I allowed her to go to bed tonight alone and hurt. Today was supposed to be so special for her, but instead it made her sad. I had to fix things. I couldn’t rest until I did.

  Since she usually only responded to boldness, I knew what I had to do next.

  I stood and slipped my t-shirt off, removing my jeans next, and only leaving on my boxers. I didn’t intend on seducing her, just making myself look vulnerable. Like a cute little puppy she couldn’t be mad at anymore because he was all naked and scared. At least that was what I was telling myself as I got under the covers and into her bed. But the moment I got closer to her, I knew I did what I had to be near her. I just wanted to be close to her again.

  Make her feel better.

  I pulled her into my arms from behind, my chest against her warm skin. I couldn’t see her clearly in the darkened room, so I didn’t know what she wore until she was in my arms. Nothing but a tiny tank top and panties.

  I brushed my lips gently against her shoulder, smelling her sweet aroma. Her breathing hiked, and she opened herself up to me, bringing her arms around to touch mine.

  Smiling, I brought her in even closer. Her hair was put up, so I kissed the soft, tiny curls at the base of her scalp. I had to taste her when the light, petal scent of her skin became too much for me to handle. Peeking my tongue out, I got her right under the earlobe. One of my favorite places on her body to taste.

  She didn’t let me do that for long before she reached behind and pushed her fingers into my hair. My mouth was redirected to hers when she tilted her head and forced my lips against hers. That simple maneuver was all it took. That first taste as I parted her lips and teased her tongue made me forget about everything but claiming her. I wanted to be inside her, stretching and filling her until she forgot about everything else. Everything but me and what I was doing to her.

  With a push, I had her on her back, quickly getting her body underneath mine. My eyes had adjusted to the dark, and the lust she had in her eyes told she wanted what I did too. I pressed my lips to hers in urgency, hungry for her, as I pulled her arms above her head. Our hands hit the baseboard, and she moaned as I took my tongue to her neck.

  Easing her legs apart, she wrapped them around me, urging me to press against her as she dug her heels into my ass.

  “Touch me, Drake. Oh God, please touch me,” she panted, her eyes shut tight.

  I got her tiny hands into one of my own and reached down to do just that, but I stopped abruptly when I realized this wasn’t the reason I came in here. I hoped she didn’t think that was my plan. Come in and fuck her to get her to forgive me. That’s not the game I played, and that definitely wasn’t how I treated the woman I loved.

  I let go of her hands and lay back to calm myself down.

  “What is it?” she whispered.

  My breathing was still regulating as I gazed her way. She looked so worried.

  I sighed. I came in to apologize and all I did was upset her for the umpteenth time tonight. “I’m sorry, Lace. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I came in here to apologize, but all I ended up doing was taking advantage.”

  “Oh,” she said, her voice light.

  Sliding my arms around her waist, I snuggled her back against my chest again for my second attempt. “I’m so sorry for ruining your birthday, babe.”

  My arms rose and fell when she sighed.

  “You didn’t ruin it. I managed to do that all by myself. You’re right. I do butt in when I shouldn’t.”

  “It’s only because you care,” I spoke against her neck. “You can’t be faulted for that. And even if it was out of line, I had no right to react the way I did. I was stupid.”

  The room fell silent, and I assumed it was because she didn’t disagree with me. I wondered if I should leave her alone, that I’d done too much damage for one evening and should just allow her to get some res
t. I was about to suggest that when she spoke.

  “Why don’t you want to move in with me, Drake?”

  The direction of the conversation had changed so abruptly that it took me back a bit. I didn’t answer quickly enough, and she turned around in my arms, looking up at me with her big brown eyes.

  “Why?” she asked again. “I don’t believe it’s because of the time we’ve been together. Is it because of things like tonight? Am I that pushy that you don’t want to live with me?”

  She called me out on something that, at the time, I didn’t realize until this very moment. Her proposal at the restaurant came so far out of left field that I just reacted, speaking the first thing that came to mind. But as I thought about what she said, I knew she was right; that I had other reasons for not wanting to move in together. My logic behind them she couldn’t be more wrong about, though. How could I put them in a way that she’d understand—so it wouldn’t hurt her feelings?

  “It’s not that I don’t want to live with you, Lace. In fact, that’s what I’d always hoped for us. That, that’s where we’d end up, you and I.” I played with a curl that had fallen from her bun and landed against her cheek while I said this. I loved her this way. Done up she was beautiful, but natural she was stunning.

  “I don’t understand. Why are you hesitant then?”

  “I guess it goes back to what you said earlier. About us being over here by ourselves and away from everyone.”

  Growing completely restless, I stopped messing with her hair and moved on to her fingers, lacing them in mine. I was so afraid to say the wrong thing. So afraid that she’d take it the wrong way and I’d hurt her. But she asked me a question, and I had to answer it. I could never lie to Lacey. Never. So I tried as best as I could to phrase what I wanted to say. “It just feels like we’re already so much of each other’s world already, you know? We’re so tightly bound and completely wrapped up in each other. I don’t know. I guess I’m just afraid that moving in together at this point in our relationship might be—”

  “Too much,” she finished for me, raising our fingers into the light from her window.