The Dividing Line

by Victoria H. Smith

  She rubbed my arm. “I promise to muzzle him if you come back inside.”

  Sighing, I pushed my hand through my hair. “I really shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have come out at all actually. I have to work in the morning.”

  “Then just stay for the bulgogi. It’s thinly sliced marinated beef we cook on the table with veggies. It’s really good. Then you can take off before the karaoke, which I recommend anyway because Luc always attempts to rap. He thinks he’s T.O.P. from Big Bang. It’s really pathetic.”

  I chuckled about the rapping but didn’t understand her reference. “Big Bang?”

  She nodded, smiling bright. “They’re a Korean pop group. They’ve got some pretty good stuff. They have a hip hop/ pop sound. Think Far East Movement, but completely with Korean lyrics.”

  The whole thing sounded pretty interesting. I’d have to look them up sometime.

  “So,” Natalia paused, rocking on her toes. “Will you come back with me?”

  This girl definitely didn’t give up that was for sure, and I was hungry. “I’ll stay for food, but I do have to leave before karaoke.”

  “I’ll take it.” She grinned, springing on her toes a bit. Her excitement made me laugh, and I watched as she opened the door to let us back into the restaurant. Before she could, I stopped her.

  “Were you and Mina speaking Korean earlier at the pool?” I dared to ask. I didn’t want to assume but certain signs tonight caused me to think so. Mina, Kyle, and Luc all shared Korean ancestry. Then there was the choice of restaurant, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. I also was unsure about Natalia since Luc didn’t put her on the spot like everyone else, but my guess still seemed logical.

  “We were,” she said, staring up at me. Her expression softened, and she tilted her head. There seemed to be many thoughts behind her eyes, but she waited a moment before she let me in on them. When she spoke again, she said five words that couldn’t have surprised me more, “Would you like to learn?”

  Chapter Thirty

  Drake

  That evening, before Natalia and I returned to dinner, I ended up telling her about my adoption. Only that I was adopted into a non-Asian family. Nothing more. Nothing less. I knew she didn’t expect me to explain myself, but for some reason I decided to anyway. Perhaps it was what she said on that sidewalk. Her willingness to teach me something so valuable with no other questions but would I like to learn the language. I think I felt her sincerity, and because of that, felt comfortable enough to tell her why such an important element of my culture was not already a part of my life. After I did, there was no judgment. No further questions. She simply smiled, and we went back inside.

  We met the group back at the table, and though I feared things might be awkward, they weren’t. I had a feeling Kyle and Mina really let into Luc while Natalia and I were outside because as soon as we sat, Luc promptly apologized, and he actually sounded genuine about it. I wasn’t one to hold grudges so I accepted it. After that, no other mention of what happened before was made. We fell back into conversation and the whole thing was rather easy. It felt natural like I’d always been a part of their crew, and even though the evening started pretty bumpy and I had to work in the morning, I was very glad I decided to stay. If anything for that bulgogi. It was seriously amazing. I probably had two more helpings than I should have of the marinated beef.

  After we all finished—Luc quickly devouring what the group couldn’t—I left the table before Karaoke like I told Natalia I had to. She offered to take me home since she’d taken us all to the restaurant in her minivan, but I didn’t want to pull her from the fun so I called a cab. Before I left, she asked me about the language lessons again.

  “I’m at the Y hosting a youth program tomorrow. You should swing by after you get off work. We can stay and work on some phrases,” she said.

  If this offer was made at the beginning of my stay in Chicago, I might have said no. But now, I’d decided to make an effort to go outside of my comfort zone and told her yes.

  The next morning, I was a little groggy from the late night but made myself wake up for work. My mini fridge was out of milk so I went downstairs to ask Gladys if I could borrow some. Derrick’s brothers were on the couch playing Wii— their usual position on Saturday mornings. Hell, who was I kidding? Any morning.

  “Drake, you wanna play?” Keon asked when I passed the couch. How he knew it was me I didn’t know. His eyes never left the screen. It must have been a gamer sixth sense.

  I chuckled. “Sure, I have some time. Let me go get ask your mom if I can borrow some milk first for my cereal.”

  “Cereal?” Gladys came out of her bedroom wearing her robe and a silk head wrap. “Baby, it’s Saturday morning. Let me make you some breakfast.”

  Not wanting to insult a lady by turning down such a generous offer, I marched my way behind her tiny frame. Derrick’s mom quickly got me set up with toast and scrambled eggs, which I devoured happily.

  “What do you have planned today, Drake?” she asked, washing her skillet after getting the other breakfast plates set up. I assumed those were for Derrick, Keon, and Kenton.

  I wiped my mouth with my napkin. “I work for a couple of hours. Then I was going to go to the Y. I swam there last night and really liked it.”

  “You know the pool closes early today for cleaning. There was a notice posted last night.”

  I turned from my chair at the kitchen table when Derrick came into the room. He kissed his mama good morning then lounged against the sink.

  “Is there a reason you’re going there and the pool is closed?” he asked, cocking his head at me.

  My eyes narrowed. “Uh, this is the first I’d heard of that.”

  Derrick nodded. “Well, I guess you know so there’s no reason for you to go anymore.”

  The vibe of the room got really weird all of the sudden. Derrick was eyeing me funny, and I didn’t know why.

  “What’s going on with you, Derrick? Leave the boy alone and eat your breakfast.” She swatted him then passed me. “Have a good day at work, Drake.”

  “Thanks for breakfast this morning. Sure beats cereal.”

  She gave me her beautifully bright smile that reminded me of her stunning niece, then left Derrick and me in the kitchen. I got up, placing my plate in the sink. With the weird way Derrick was suddenly acting, I was definitely ready to take Keon up on his offer to play Wii.

  “Hold up a second, man.” He crossed in front of me, not letting me pass him so I could leave the kitchen.

  Okay. I took a step back, not knowing what was up with the whole invading my personal space thing he was doing this morning. “What’s up?”

  He crossed his arms, shrugging once. “Just trying to figure out why you lied last night about heading home.”

  I sighed. I figured that’s what this was about. “I didn’t lie. I was going home, but decided to stay.”

  “Any particular reason for that?” he asked, his question borderline accusatory.

  “What are you getting at, Derrick?”

  “You tell me.”

  “Look.” I stepped up to him, done dancing around whatever issue he had. “I was going to go home, but changed my mind. I came back to play basketball with you and the guys, but passed the pool and decided to do that instead. You know I used to swim, and since I hadn’t done it in a while, that’s what I ended up doing. That’s really all there is to it. I don’t know what this is, Derrick, but if you’re fishing for something I’m right here.” I gestured to myself.

  “So you staying had nothing to do with Natalia?”

  I twitched. “What the— no. Why would you even ask that?”

  “Well, I ask you to hang out with me and my boys, but I catch you hanging out with two girls instead. Then you sneaking in all late last night…”

  “For one thing, Natalia and Mina just happened to be at the pool that day. I was there before they even showed up. And another, there was no ‘sneaking,’ as you put it, involved. After sw
imming, Natalia and Mina asked me to hang out with their group of friends. We were having a good time. It ran late and—” I raised my hands. “You know what? I don’t even know why I’m defending myself to you.”

  He stood there, his face stoic. “I don’t know. Why are you defending yourself to me?”

  It took all I had in me not to leave him fucking stand there. I put my hand to my chest. “I’m with Lacey. You know that. I would never cheat on her.”

  He passed me. Taking a seat in front of his full plate of breakfast, he scooted in his chair. “I hope for your sake you don’t.”

  I raised my eyebrows, shocked by what he said. “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you threatening me? I thought we were friends.”

  His jaw clenched, he forked his eggs restlessly. After a moment, he sighed and put his fork down. He looked up at me, placing his hands together. “We are, Drake, which is why I believe you about what you’re saying. You just need to be careful, though. You and Lacey are apart and,” he paused, letting out a breath, “temptations are around is all I’m saying.”

  I smirked, shaking my head at him. “I loved Lacey Douglas before I even met her. Since the very first note of her voice hit my ears. As far as I’m concerned, after that moment, no other girls existed. So remember that the next time you feel like accusing me of being unfaithful.”

  I left him in the kitchen without another thought, deciding extra time spent at work today wasn’t a bad idea.

  *

  “Hey, Drake. Come on in. I’m almost done here.” Natalia waved me inside the room at the Y.

  I stood there in the hall, frozen. The moment Natalia opened the door to that room, a blast of supersonic noise hit my ears in the form of children’s laughter and giggles. Natalia was a pretty short girl so I got a good view of them over her head. The kids were crazy. Throwing toys and practically boding slamming each other over them.

  I took a step back. “It’s fine. I can wait out here until you’re done.” I pointed behind me to the chair I passed in the hall. It was looking pretty good about now.

  She laughed her light laugh. She grabbed my arm, and I was forced into the fray of tiny humans. I didn’t think I was skittish around children. I guess we learn new things about ourselves every day.

  Once I was in, she let go of my arm and closed the door behind me. I was completely trapped.

  “Come on. I’ll show you around,” she said.

  I really didn’t want to be shown around but I allowed myself to be, following behind her. I skipped over balls, blankets, and bodies of children who handled them. Natalia moved swiftly through the chaos like a skilled explorer through an exotic rainforest.

  I managed to keep a visual on her, but stumbled on my feet when she stopped in front of a door. She took us inside, and after the door closed, it was like night and day. These children were older. Maybe ranging from eight to ten-years-old. That also made them quieter and better behaved. They drew at tables, played with Legos, and occupied themselves with other toys.

  “Here’s where I’m working today. I hope I didn’t scare you with the toddler room back there.”

  “No. Not at all.” I gave a short laugh, shifting my eyes as I followed her swaying black ponytail. “So what do you do around here?”

  “All kinds of things. We provide childcare for low-income families. Host youth programs for some of the older kids like drawing, martial arts, and music classes. The programs give them someplace safe to be and a positive environment to be around. A lot of kids feel pressured to make wrong choices. But here, they’re not pressured at all.”

  I nodded. I took for granted how easy my life had been growing up in the household and environment I had. I’d been given lots of opportunities that I bet most of these kids would probably never have access to. What they did here for them at the Y was pretty cool.

  “We also have specialized programs. Like this one,” she said, gazing warmly around the area.

  I studied the room. Nothing seemed terribly unique about what the kids were doing. They played together and were quite a diverse group. “What’s so special about it?”

  Natalia opened her mouth, but was tugged on her pant leg by a little girl. She was dark skinned with brightly colored beads in her hair. I smiled at her, and she shied into Natalia.

  Natalia laughed lightly, stoking the girl’s hair. “What is it, Whitney?”

  Little Whitney crooked her finger, and Natalia bent to her level. Frankly, it was one of the most adorable things I had ever seen. The young girl cupped Natalia’s ear and whispered. Natalia listened for a moment, then her lips lifted, and she stared in my direction.

  Whitney pulled back from her, and Natalia faced her. “His name is Drake,” she said to the young girl.

  Whitney quickly cupped her ear again, and Natalia giggled. “No, he’s not my boyfriend.”

  My brows shot up a bit. It was interesting she asked her that, and I wondered why she would ask such a thing.

  She whispered once again and Natalia’s smile went wide. She stood to full stance and touched Whitney’s head. “Why don’t you ask him?” she said, gesturing to me.

  Whitney dipped her head, seeming unsure about approaching me with whatever she and Natalia had discussed. She took a couple steps forward; her little braids covering her eyes.

  “Drake?” she said, pausing to play with her floral-printed dress. “Since you’re not Miss Natalia’s boyfriend, can you be mine?”

  Natalia placed her hand over mouth, smothering her light laughter. I had to keep in a laugh myself. I guess that was why Whitney inquired about me being Natalia’s boyfriend. She wanted to know my availability.

  I eyed Natalia, giving her a silent ‘you set me up’ look before squatting to Whitney’s level. When I took her hand she turned her head away bashfully.

  I fought a chuckle. “I’m sorry, Whitney, but I actually have a girlfriend. Her name is Lacey, and she’s an opera singer in Paris.”

  “Paris! Really?” Her mocha eyes lit up.

  I laughed. “Really. So even though I can’t be your boyfriend, can I still be your friend?”

  She nodded excitedly, her beads jingling in tune.

  An older woman with nut-brown hair came to Natalia’s side, holding a clipboard. “Natalia, can I get you to sign off on these snack deliveries before you leave?”

  Natalia faced me. “Drake, I’m going to do these and then we can go see about the reason you’re here. Whitney, why don’t you show Drake the drawings you did today?”

  Natalia barely got the words out before Whitney dragged me to her station. She made quick work of showing me the flowers and various butterflies she’d drawn for the day, holding up each one with pride. Before I knew it, I was shoved a crayon myself, and the two of us started new drawings on fresh paper.

  “Are you adopted too, Drake?” she asked, busy at work with a blue crayon.

  I paused on my own drawing, her question taking me by surprise. “Why do you ask, Whitney?”

  She shrugged, her head still dipped. “Because all of us are.”

  My eyebrows narrowed. “All of you? Every kid in this room is adopted, Whitney?”

  She nodded. “We meet a few times a week. Some of us have some pretty sad stories. Miss Natalia and Miss Jane help us.”

  I turned my head, getting a visual on Miss Natalia as she signed papers with Miss Jane. I pushed a controlled breath threw my nose. I guess now I knew what was so special about this program.

  I placed my crayon down. I gave Whitney a strong smile despite the anger that was quickly rising within me. “I’m sorry, Whitney, but I have to leave. Thank you for letting me be your friend.”

  She gave me a huge grin, revealing a missing front tooth. “Will you be back when we meet again?”

  I didn’t want to lie to her, but I didn’t want to disappoint her either. So I settled for that generic response that adults often told kids. “We’ll see.”

  I left her and went to the desk. Natalia popped her head up. �
�Almost done here.”

  I, personally, was long done with the situation. “I actually have to leave. I appreciate you showing me everything.”

  I didn’t wait for her response before I left her and Miss Jane standing there. I didn’t want to face the jungle of toddlers without a guide, but I bared it and fought my way through the room to the exit. I heard my name barely a moment before I set foot in the hall.

  “Drake, what’s going on? Why are you leaving?” Natalia asked.

  I turned, forcing myself to control my temper, which was pretty damn hard. “You know, Natalia, I appreciate your offer to help me. I really do. But I have no interest in being your next charity case. So thanks, but no thanks on the lessons.”

  She grabbed my arm before I could make the full rotation to leave. “What are you talking about?”

  I pulled my arm from her. “Why don’t you ask, Whitney? Hell, any one of those kids. They can tell you all about adoption and their sad stories.”

  Realization dawned on her face, but I didn’t stick around for her response. She followed me, calling my name the entire journey I made to the first level, then out of the YMCA.

  “Drake, let me explain,” she pleaded.

  Against myself, I faced her, my face fuming with fire. “Explain what? How you dragged me to a post-adoption therapy group filled with a bunch of kids.”

  “It’s not like that. I just—” She bit her lip. “I wanted you to see that you’re not alone. That just because you’re adopted you don’t have to feel like—”

  “Like what? An outcast? Like a freak who has been stripped of his identity?” I put my hand on my chest. “How do you think it feels to be Asian and not know what that means? To not know who you are period. I came from a country that means nothing to me. Nothing because it was taken from me. And those kids up there,” I paused, pointing to the building, “have no idea what that feels like.”

  She stared at me a long time, studying my eyes. Very slowly, she opened her mouth. “You’re not as alone as you think.”