The Secrets She Kept

by Brenda Novak

  “Sure. I’ll give you a good deal,” he said, but he didn’t seem to be paying attention to the business side of their conversation. He was too preoccupied with her robe and what was in those Victoria’s Secret bags. “About all this lingerie...”

  After being cast off by him as if she was nothing, she couldn’t help feeling more than a little gratified that he was so interested. She leaned forward, letting her robe gape open, and felt a corresponding zing when his jaw dropped. “What about it?”

  “It might be useful to have a man’s opinion on what you should keep and what you should take back.”

  “So I should...what? Show you?”

  “Why not? I’m happy to do you a favor. As a friend.”

  Nancy couldn’t explain how they’d come to this, especially so fast. He’d been inside her house for only a few minutes. When she’d answered the door, she’d thought she had everything well in hand. And yet...here she was, heart thumping and body tingling.

  She had no intention of letting Keith touch her, or touching him. But the hunger in his eyes fed a primitive part of her—a part that had been starved for male attention. She couldn’t resist taking this one step further.

  And why not? she asked herself. Nothing she’d bought was any more revealing than the average bikini. “As a friend,” she echoed.

  He leaned back on only two legs of his chair. “We’re only talking about feedback.”

  She wanted to make him salivate, push him even further toward the edge of that metaphorical cliff. “Fine.” Untying her robe, she let it fall open.

  He stared for several seconds without speaking.

  “This is called a Chantilly lace babydoll with sheer skirt and V-string panty.” Dropping the robe off her shoulders, she pivoted as she modeled it for him. “So? What do you think? Would a man like this? Should I keep it or take it back?”

  “That’s gorgeous,” he said.

  His response answered that question, but she wasn’t finished with their game quite yet. He’d beaten her at everything else they’d ever played, because she’d been playing for keeps. Now she was the one who wanted a cheap thrill and nothing more. That gave her a certain power she’d never possessed with him before.

  “I don’t know.” She licked her bottom lip provocatively. “The dream angel lace bustier might be more...me.”

  “Let’s see it,” he said.

  She took the remaining sacks into the bedroom to change. Once she was out of his sight, she leaned against her closed door and tried to calm down. But that look on his face... She’d never seen that much appreciation there before... “What about this one?” she asked, leaving her robe behind when she walked out.

  “Turn around.” His voice was deeper, more gravelly. She might not be as skinny as the women he usually slept with, but he seemed to be enjoying the show.

  “Well?”

  “I love your curves, Nancy. You’re so soft.”

  As far as her “curves” went, she found his admiration a little hard to believe. Very few of the other women he dated had any curves to speak of—except maybe a pair of silicone implants. So she ignored the compliment. “Is this better or worse than the other one?”

  “It’s every bit as good. I say keep them both. Are there any more?”

  “Just one. A lace-and-mesh teddy. In black. With garters. But...you’ve helped me enough. I’ll keep these and take that one back.”

  “Whoa, wait. You can’t quit now. Put it on,” he said, but once she changed and came out to show him, he insisted she had to keep that one, too.

  “You were supposed to help me decide what to take back,” she said with a laugh.

  “I can’t. They all make me hard.”

  She ignored that, too. “But I can’t keep them all.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because they’re expensive. I have no one to show them to. And I’m trying to buy a flower shop, remember?”

  His gaze was riveted on hers. “I’ll buy them for you. I’ll buy all the lingerie you want. I’ll buy you a lot of other things, too.”

  Nancy’s heart seemed to lodge in her throat. She knew what her part in that deal would be. This titillating game was going too far. “No, that’s okay,” she said and immediately hurried back into her bedroom, where she donned a pair of sweats.

  When she returned, Keith’s hair stood up as if he’d been running his hands through it, and he was pacing her living room. “I promised Maisey I’d leave you alone,” he announced.

  “Leave me alone?”

  “Yeah. You know. That I wouldn’t try to get anything going.”

  “Okay. I’m surprised she requested that, since it’s been...forever.”

  “To me it seems like only yesterday.”

  “Because you’re out of your element.”

  “Stop it. Stop downplaying everything I say. I’ve missed you,” he said point-blank. “We were good together.”

  She figured he was talking about the sex, since he’d mentioned that earlier and they didn’t make what would be considered “a good couple” on any other level. His mother had considered her so far beneath him that she’d refused to even acknowledge that they were dating, never mind living together. Anyway, the sex had been exceptional—beyond anything Nancy had ever experienced with anyone else. Not that she’d been with very many guys. “There’s always the next girl, right?” she said and softened that with a little laugh.

  He didn’t laugh with her. “I’m not talking about the next girl. I’m talking about you.”

  “I’m not interested, Keith.”

  “Because...”

  Her mouth was so dry, she could hardly swallow. “Because you’re not really offering me anything,” she managed to say.

  “Come on. You bought all that lingerie for a reason. You must be looking for some excitement, some physical satisfaction. I can give you that. All you can take. Right here. Right now.”

  Wonderful! Making love again would be fun, exhilarating. Just like before. Until he left the island without a backward glance. “Thanks, but I’m looking for something a little deeper and more permanent this time around.”

  He rubbed his jaw. “You never know what might develop.”

  “Actually, I do. I’ve been there before, remember? I’m holding out for a more meaningful relationship.”

  He made an impatient gesture. “Fine. Wait for Mr. Right. But you don’t have to hide out alone until then, do you?”

  He sounded like her sister. Why couldn’t either one of them understand that casual sex wasn’t so easy for her? Keith had a profound effect on her, one she couldn’t counteract—which meant she’d be left brokenhearted. She might as well have a little pride and be the one to say no. “It would be a mistake.”

  “One night couldn’t hurt. But I won’t push you. Just...consider it and...and give me a call if you’d like to come over.”

  “What about the shop?” she asked before he could leave.

  He seemed taken aback by the question. “What about it?”

  “You’ll still sell it to me even if...even if I don’t call, won’t you?”

  “Shit, Nancy. I’m the first to admit I’ve been an asshole. But that’s all in the past. I’ll be fair with you, no matter what.”

  Relieved to hear it, she crouched down to hug her dog. Simba was the one who’d consoled her when she’d been crying over Keith before. He’d have to console her tonight, too. “Thank you.”

  Keith stood there for a few seconds, watching as she stroked Simba’s fur. “I want to make love to you again,” he said. “I want to feel you clinging to me, gasping my name like you used to.”

  Nancy’s chest tightened until she couldn’t seem to breathe. She’d fantasized about having him back in her bed—plenty of times. But she understood his limitat
ions a little better this time around.

  Or maybe she was just more realistic about what she could and couldn’t tolerate. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...shouldn’t have been messing around with that lingerie. I know you don’t have access to...to your usual sexual outlets right now. But even if Chief Underwood shut you down, there are other women on Fairham who wouldn’t think of telling you no.”

  He scowled. “What makes you assume Harper Underwood shut me down?”

  “Well, you’re not at her house, are you?”

  “Because I chose to come here!”

  Sure he did. Harper was gorgeous!

  “Women aren’t interchangeable to me, Nancy,” he added when she didn’t respond. “At least, you’re not. I hope you’ll call.”

  After he let himself out, Nancy sat on the floor and tugged Simba into her lap. Her dog was big for that sort of thing, but he didn’t seem to mind and she needed the love. “How can I even be tempted?” she groaned, resting her forehead against his.

  Simba pulled his head away so he could lick her cheek.

  “I know. True love is the goal. I won’t accept anything else.” She kissed the side of his furry muzzle. “I hope.”

  14

  KEITH HATED TO leave Nancy’s. He had to fight the impulse to turn around and go back, to talk to her some more. What he’d seen of her in that skimpy lingerie was messing with his head and his heart, which was racing. He told himself he was feeling deprived only because he was used to getting what he wanted. That he was frustrated because he’d finally met up with a woman who was rejecting him.

  But that wasn’t it. He honestly cared about Nancy, more than any other woman he’d ever been with. He hated that he’d hurt her badly enough that she’d built such a high wall between them—even though he respected her for doing it. Since he couldn’t seem to leave her alone, she had to protect herself from getting hurt.

  He knew she’d probably be surprised by his true feelings, but he didn’t have any negative intent toward her. He missed her. Wanted to be with her. That was all.

  To distract himself from the impulse to go back, he called Maisey as he drove around the island.

  “Any word from Rocki?” he asked as soon as she answered.

  “No.”

  “Me, neither. So what should we do? If Landon did come here, there’ll be ways to prove it. Chief Underwood could check the airlines, for instance.”

  “No. Don’t involve her. We should just...let it go. If Rocki says he wasn’t here, he wasn’t here. I’d rather believe her than Pippa.”

  As much as he loved Rocki, Keith wasn’t sure he could go along with that, mostly because he had no doubt Pippa was telling the truth. He was the one who’d spoken to her, had seen the earnestness in her face. He could tell she, too, was concerned by what she’d seen. Why else would she have told him at all—and told him privately?

  He remembered his conversation with Chief Underwood at dinner. She’d said the ferry captain couldn’t remember seeing anyone he didn’t recognize or that he thought might be connected to any trouble. But if he was shown a picture—of Landon, for instance—what would he say then?

  “It’s possible she and Pippa are both telling the truth,” he said.

  “How?”

  “Maybe Landon’s lying to Rocki. Maybe he was here but he told her he wasn’t.”

  “No...”

  Keith didn’t want that to be true, either. Because then he’d have to believe Landon had a reason to lie, which would cast even more suspicion on him. “Yeah, you’re right. Never mind. I’m sure she’ll call soon, let us know that everything’s okay, that this has all been a misunderstanding. I’ll be in touch as soon as I hear from her and you do the same.”

  “Okay,” she said, but he stopped her before she could hang up.

  “Maisey?”

  “Yes?”

  “I have something else to say.”

  “I’m listening...”

  “I can’t make you any promises where Nancy’s concerned.”

  After a brief pause, she said, “Why not? She never mattered that much to you before.”

  He remembered that strange knot in his chest at dinner, when he’d had to sit there and watch Nancy give all her attention to someone else. Harper had been nice, and they’d had plenty to talk about, but whenever possible, he’d been straining to hear what Nancy was saying to that personal injury attorney. “That’s not true,” he said. “She made a big difference in my life, and I’d like to spend some time with her, if she’ll let me.”

  The silence stretched.

  “I’m sorry,” he added as he reached the gates of Coldiron House. “I’m not out to hurt anybody. Especially her. I just...think we should be friends.” His life wasn’t complete without her in it...somewhere. He’d realized that since he’d come home...

  “It’s not as simple as it sounds, Keith. She doesn’t look on you as a friend. She’s in love with you.”

  “She was in love with me. It’s been five years. Maybe now she can handle a different type of relationship.”

  “So you’re saying it’ll be platonic?”

  “I’m not promising anything,” he said again. “But whatever happens should be up to her, not you.”

  “That doesn’t sound platonic. Which means you’re not really offering friendship. Can’t you leave her alone? There are so many other women in the world.”

  Once again his mind conjured up images of Nancy in that lingerie. His hands literally itched to touch her. He’d never experienced that before. And not being able to act on what he felt left him feeling so frustrated, so restless.

  “What about Chief Underwood?” Maisey asked. “When I saw her at the grocery store this morning, she said you guys were going to dinner tonight—and I didn’t get the impression it was police business.”

  “I like Harper. We had a good time.”

  “Then what about her? She’s beautiful, don’t you think?”

  She wasn’t any prettier than Nancy. And even if someone else thought she was, so what? What he felt for Nancy wasn’t based on her appearance, which was why it felt odd when his sister or anyone else tried to compare her with the other women in his life. She was different. She looked different; she acted different. He didn’t even think of her in the same light. “Harper’s okay.”

  “Seriously? You don’t feel more enthusiasm than that?”

  “I’d rather spend the time I have here with Nancy.”

  “Damn it,” she muttered. “Here we go again.”

  He punched in the code for the gate. “Gee, thanks for that, sis. You act like I’m an ax murderer or something!”

  “Metaphorically speaking, maybe you are! You hacked her heart to pieces!”

  “I didn’t make her any promises I didn’t keep—in the end, anyway. And you covered my debt until I could get on my feet and attempt to repay her. I just wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.”

  “But she isn’t capable of any other kind.”

  “That’s not true. What’s wrong with having more people who care about you in your life?”

  She started to explain how confusing that would be to Nancy, but his phone beeped. Someone else was calling in.

  He checked the screen. “That’s Rocki,” he told her.

  “Finally!”

  “Let me talk to her, and I’ll get right back to you.” He switched over before she could respond. He couldn’t miss Rocki’s call; he had no faith that she’d pick up when he tried to phone her back. “Hey, there you are.”

  He heard her sniffle, which immediately put him on edge. “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything,” she said.

  He pushed the clicker for the garage and watched the door roll up. “You’re making me nervous here. Can you be
more specific?”

  “Landon lied to me. He wasn’t in Vegas at a convention last Saturday. He was on Fairham Island, like Pippa said.”

  Instead of pulling into the garage, Keith kept his foot on the brake. “He admitted to coming here?”

  “He had to. He can’t continue to lie, not with Pippa telling everyone that he was at Coldiron House.”

  Keith parked, then let his head fall back against the seat. “Did he say what that meeting with Mom was all about?”

  She sniffed again. “Money. What else? Apparently the tour business isn’t doing so great—well, either of our businesses. To avoid worrying me, he kept insisting we were fine, that we were getting by, but...”

  “He turned to Mom for help.”

  “Yes.”

  “But why didn’t he just call her? Why would he spend the money to travel so far?”

  “He thought she might be more receptive to a personal visit.”

  “And yet she still said no.” After what he’d learned from Chief Underwood, he knew their mother probably didn’t have much choice.

  “Right. That part isn’t the problem, though, especially considering what we’ve learned since. If she didn’t have it, she didn’t have it. But she didn’t tell him she didn’t have it. She told him we were stupid to invest in those businesses to begin with, that they’re surefire losers. She said we’d have to shut them down and move to Fairham if we wanted her help. When he refused, she called him a fool, and said he’d only throw good money after bad if he kept trying to save them, and...I guess they had an argument.”

  Keith got out of the car. “Are you behind on your bills, Rock? If so, why didn’t you tell me? How much do you need?”

  “I don’t even know. I didn’t ask him. I think we’re okay for now.”

  But it was winter. They couldn’t expect their tour business to pick up until spring. “Let me know if you’re in a bind. I’ll do what I can.”

  “I appreciate that. I really do. But I’d rather not borrow from anyone.”