Magic and Other Misdemeanors (The Sisters Grimm, Book 5)

by Michael Buckley

  The man sensed her looking and turned and stared at the girls for a long moment. Then, without warning, he wrapped them up in his arms and cried with happiness.

  "Girls! How did you get here?"

  Sabrina pulled herself away. "Uh, hello, personal space!"

  "It's me. Prince Charming!"

  "Nuh-uh," Daphne said, but Sabrina wasn't so sure. She studied his face using her imagination to cut his hair and shave his beard. It didn't make sense, but soon it was clear that the man was telling the truth.

  "Where did you come from?" he asked, reaching out and shaking them happily.

  "We were out in the woods with Mr. Canis and--"

  "Canis! Is he here too?" the prince said hopefully. Sabrina had never heard Charming speak of their family friend with anything but disdain.

  "You have to help us," Sabrina said, struggling to believe that she was asking the notoriously grouchy prince for his assistance. "These freaks kidnapped us before I could warn Granny and Uncle Jake about what is going on."

  "Yeah, the town has gone mucho crazy-o!" Daphne said.

  The former mayor's face sank. "No. No! No! No!" he said as he shook his head.

  "Charming, we have to do something. Mr. Canis has turned into the Big Bad Wolf and there are dragons everywhere. The whole town is in danger."

  "You don't have to worry about Mr. Canis. Everyone's better off where they are," Charming said as he ran his hand through his dusty hair. "In the past."

  "Not you, too!" Sabrina groaned. "I've had it with this practical joke. What do you want me to say? I believe you? You've fooled me? Well, forget it. It takes a lot to pull a prank on me."

  "It's not a prank," the blond warrior said. "Ferryport Landing has been like this for almost fifteen years."

  "That's impossible!" Sabrina exclaimed as she felt her sister slip her hand into her own and squeeze tightly.

  "Sabrina," the woman continued. "I'm you. I'm twenty-six years old. In two days I'll be twenty-seven." She turned to the dark-haired woman she called her sister. "And this is Daphne."

  Sabrina studied their faces. She had to admit the dark-haired woman did look like Daphne, but without all the light and happiness of her sister's face.

  "And I'm Puck," the fairy said. His big pink wings popped out of his back and lifted him several feet off the ground. He put his hands on his hips and grinned broadly. "Taa-daa!"

  "Now I know this is a joke," Sabrina said, spinning on the fairy. "Everafters don't grow old."

  "Not true, Sabrina. An Everafter can grow old if he wants. Most don't because they don't have a good reason," Puck said, sharing an affectionate look with the woman claiming to be Sabrina. The fairy had a gold ring on his left hand that was identical to one the older Sabrina wore.

  Daphne squealed. "You mean... you and Puck... really... married!"

  The older Sabrina grinned bashfully, then looked at the fairy. "He gets a little less annoying as he gets older."

  "But only a little," the fairy said with a laugh. He rubbed the top of Sabrina's head. "We should introduce our guests to the general."

  They walked to a tent at the center of the camp. Charming pulled back the flaps and ushered the girls inside. The older versions of themselves and Puck followed. Inside, Sabrina saw a queen-size bed. Two adults lay on top of it, sound asleep.

  "Mom! Dad!" the girls cried, and rushed to their side.

  "They're still asleep," a voice said from behind them. It was old and crackling, but oddly familiar. Sabrina turned around and saw an old woman in a wheelchair in the door of the tent.

  "Girls, I'd like to introduce you to the general," Charming said.

  Sabrina studied the woman closely. She wore a bright yellow dress and a matching hat with a sunflower applique at its center. Trotting around her chair were four Great Dane puppies. She was incredibly old, but her eyes still had a youthful glimmer.

  "Granny Relda!" Daphne cried as she raced across the room and wrapped the old woman in a hug. Sabrina followed more slowly, shocked at how old Granny looked.

  "There's a name I haven't heard in many years," the old woman said. She studied the girls' faces and then turned to their older counterparts with a confused expression.

  "It's a long story, old lady," Puck said.

  "Well, I suppose you better start telling it," Granny replied.

  * * *

  The group shared a meal of potatoes, venison, and black bread while the recent events were explained to the future version of Granny Relda. During the meal she studied maps and reports provided to her by soldiers who waited for her orders, then ran off to perform their duties. Sabrina watched the old woman closely, noticing the deep lines in her face and the trembling, arthritic hands.

  Some time during the meal, a little man wearing a crude military uniform emblazoned with dozens of bright badges and medals came over to the table. He was the same man they had spotted training soldiers. He saluted the old woman with great respect. They briefly discussed the forces at the riverside and agreed on the best strategy for attack. When the conversation was over, he saluted Granny Relda again and then disappeared. It took Sabrina several minutes to realize who he was.

  "That was Mr. Seven!" Daphne said.

  "Actually, we call him Captain Seven," Granny Relda replied.

  "Captain Seven is a great leader and demands quite a bit of respect around here," Charming explained. "He's been responsible for many of our army's successes."

  "Why do you need an army?" Sabrina asked.

  "To fight the Scarlet Hand, of course," Granny said as she tossed chunks of her dinner to her four impatient puppies. "Since the Master rose, we've been one of the main fronts in the battle for human freedom. There are other units scattered around the world, and I've been leading the charge. That's how I got my little nickname. Truth is, without Seven and the brave members of the army we wouldn't stand a chance. The Master and his Hand are relentless."

  "But how did it get this bad?" Daphne asked as she glanced around at the rough camp.

  "They plundered the Hall of Wonders," the grown-up Sabrina explained. "They opened every door and took anything of value. What they didn't take, they set free. There were horrible things behind some of those doors. It threw the town into chaos."

  She shared a knowing look with the old woman.

  "One of them tried to barbeque you earlier today," Puck added.

  "Why didn't we stop it from happening?" Sabrina wondered.

  "What were we supposed to do, Sabrina?" Granny Relda said, before breaking into a coughing fit. When she recovered, she continued. "What could an old woman and two little girls do?"

  "You're forgetting Elvis," Daphne said.

  "And we must not do that. He was a brave soul. These four pups are his great-grandchildren. Let me introduce you to John, Paul, George, and Ringo."

  The dogs raced over to Daphne and sat with begging eyes until the girl surrendered her venison steak.

  "Yep, they're related," Daphne said as she hugged them all.

  "What about Uncle Jake?"

  The old woman shifted sadly in her chair.

  "He was arrested and put into the Ferryport Prison," she said softly. "They gave him a trial and sentenced him to life, but he tried to escape and he was killed."

  "I saw it!" Sabrina cried. "I saw that happen outside our window. He was shot with an arrow."

  Granny Relda shared a confused expression with the older women and Puck. "I don't remember that happening."

  "I certainly don't remember it," the grown-up Sabrina replied. "How can these things have occurred in the past but we don't remember them? Our Prince Charming didn't disappear. I never saw Uncle Jake murdered when I was young. We didn't just pop up in the future, either."

  "How long have you been here?" Charming asked the girls. "A couple of hours," Sabrina said. "What about you?"

  "Three months."

  "So, you're not a future version of Prince Charming?" Sabrina asked, doing her best to understand all the new inf
ormation.

  "No, I'm from the past--I mean, the present... it's all still very confusing. I went for a walk after I lost the election to the Queen of Hearts. I wanted to clear my head, think of a way to change my fortunes, and then I found myself here. It took me several hours to figure out that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. It appears the same thing has happened to the two of you."

  The older Daphne shook her head. "Something is happening back then that shouldn't have happened," she said. "We believe it's creating tears in time."

  "Tears in time?" Daphne asked.

  "Yes, they're doorways that suck people out of their time. They're not supposed to be possible, but whatever or whoever is causing them is somehow blending their future and our present."

  "And maybe all of our pasts," Sabrina interrupted. "We saw a band of Indians attack Baba Yaga this afternoon. I mean, fifteen years ago."

  "Now, I

  know that never happened," the older Daphne said.

  "So this is worse than I suspected," Granny Relda replied.

  "When the two of you vanished, did you see a storm come out of nowhere?" Charming asked.

  Sabrina nodded. "And there was one when I saw Uncle Jake die."

  "And when the Indians appeared and attacked Baba Yaga," Daphne added. "By the way, where is she?"

  "The witch was one of the first of the resistance to die," Granny Relda said. "She made a foolish error when she destroyed her guardians. She never took time to replace them and it left her vulnerable. The Scarlet Hand cornered her in the forest and killed her, but not before she took out nearly forty of them."

  "The house ran off," Puck said. "We found it cowering at the top of Mount Taurus and we've been using it ever since."

  "Maybe all this has something to do with the case we're working on," Sabrina said, watching the older version of her sister standing cold and distant, away from the group. She shuddered to think what had happened to steal the happiness from Daphne, or what had caused the horrible mark on her face.

  "What case?" Granny Relda asked.

  "Someone's been stealing magic items. The Wand of Merlin, the Wonder Clock, and some water from the Fountain of Youth have all been ripped off."

  "I remember that case," Granny Relda said. "We never solved it."

  "Unbelievable! Relda Grimm would never let a mystery go unsolved," Charming said with a hint of disdain.

  "There were other things, urgent things that needed our attention," the old woman said.

  "The taxes," Sabrina asked.

  Her older self nodded in agreement. "Yes, among others. Uncle Jake had his hands full with Baba Yaga. After that, things got even worse and we just never had time to do any more investigating."

  "What got worse?" Sabrina asked, suspiciously.

  The adults were silent for a long, heartbreaking moment. They looked at one another with strained expressions, as if weighing how much pain their next words might cause.

  "They should see the house," the older Daphne said.

  "Don't you think that's a little harsh?" Granny Relda asked.

  "If we don't show them the truth, they will go and discover it for themselves. You remember how we used to be. We were always running off in the middle of the night. We can't allow them to do that. They wouldn't survive. It's best if we feed their curiosity, no matter how painful it may be."

  "She's right, Relda," Charming said. "They'll sneak out, and this time, they might not come back."

  "If they were to be killed, we would die with them. They're us," the grown-up Daphne added.

  The older Sabrina shrugged. "I guess it's for the best."

  Sabrina and Daphne stared into each other's eyes. Silently, they shared their fear for what they were about to see. What could be so bad?

  "Show us," Sabrina said.

  * * *

  Sabrina felt the house make another abrupt turn. She glanced out the window and saw abandoned homes and a forest charred with black smoke. Roads were ripped in half and littered with abandoned cars.

  After a while, the creepy shack came to a lumbering stop.

  "We're here," the future Daphne said as she glanced through the window. "We can't stay long."

  "The dragons circle the area in fifteen-minute cycles and we don't know when the last one started," Granny Relda explained.

  Sabrina felt the house lower. The older Puck came from the other room with his crossbow and arrows in hand. He kicked open the door, took a peek outside, and then gestured for everyone to follow. Sabrina and Daphne shuffled outside with Charming close behind.

  And then they saw it, the plot of land that had been their grandmother's home. Their house and any sign that it had ever existed was gone. Not even the trees had been left behind. Instead, an enormous castle made from black stones sat on the property. It had two high towers and a drawbridge over a moat dug around the perimeter of the building. On top of one of the towers, a black flag with a bloodred handprint in its center fluttered in the wind. The air smelled of sulfur.

  Sabrina could feel tears run down her face, and for the first time in her life she didn't try to hide them.

  "I haven't been here in fifteen years," the old Sabrina said. "Never thought I'd be strong enough to look out at it--"

  "How do we fix this?" Sabrina interrupted.

  "Fix it?" her older self said. "I don't know if you can fix it."

  "You have to send us back," Daphne said, her own face wet with tears. "Now that we know what is going to happen, we can change it."

  Charming nodded. "My plan exactly, and we're working on a way to do just that. The tears in time pop up all over the place, but by the time I get to one, it has already closed."

  "Then we're stuck here?" Sabrina exclaimed.

  "No," the future Daphne said. "We may have a way to predict when they come."

  Sabrina noticed something unspoken pass between Charming and Daphne's future self. Whatever it was, it made the older Daphne tense.

  "People, get back into the house! NOW!" Puck shouted as he pointed toward the sky.

  Sabrina looked up and gasped. High in the charcoal sky another dragon sailed overhead. It was green, black, and red, and puffs of smoke drifted out of its wide, reptilian snout. Its roar shook the earth with a boom, and from its gruesome jaws came a torrent of liquid flames that turned a nearby stump into black ash.

  The older Sabrina helped Granny wheel her chair into Baba Yaga's house. The rest of the group followed and slammed the door behind them.

  "House! Let's move it!" the older Sabrina shouted, and the building once again rose to its feet and raced into the woods.

  "Can we outrun that?" Sabrina asked as she watched the dragon blast another nearby tree.

  "No," the older Daphne said, rushing to the window and shoving the girls aside. She threw it open and pointed a long thin wand outside. "All we can do is fight. Gimme some water!" she cried. Water blasted out of the wand like it was a firefighter's hose. Unfortunately, the woman's aim was off and it hit the beast in the chest. She cursed herself and shook the wand angrily.

  "Not feeling well today, marshmallow?" Puck said. "'Cause if so, I could go out and fight it myself."

  "I'm tempted to let you," she replied. "And don't call me that ridiculous nickname."

  Daphne stuck her tongue out at her older self. "Hey, cranky. I like my nickname!"

  The future Daphne looked at her younger self and a small, almost imperceptible smile crept onto her face. Then she turned back to the open window. "Give me some water."

  A torrent of water exploded into the sky like a geyser, and this time it hit the dragon squarely in the mouth. The beast tried to roar, but only a breathy squeak came out. The loss of its most deadly weapon seemed to hinder the dragon's ability to fly as well. It fell to the ground hard and disappeared from view.

  "Nice shooting, old me," Daphne said.

  "Unfortunately, it's only temporary," Granny Relda said. "Let's hope that we can put some distance between us and it before it reignites its
pilot light."

  * * *

  Sabrina and Daphne were given two cots to sleep in. Without Daphne by her side, Sabrina felt strange and lonely, but most of all concerned that her little sister was feeling the same way. She was about to ask Daphne if she wanted to talk, but a low, rumbling snore came from the little girl. Apparently, the shock of their current situation wasn't causing Daphne any loss of sleep.

  "Child," Charming said softly from his cot across the room.

  Sabrina sat up and rubbed her eyes. "I'm awake."

  "Have you seen Snow?"

  Sabrina nodded. "She's worried about you."

  Charming nodded as if he shared her feelings.

  "I need to know something. How did Daphne get hurt? I mean, the older Daphne. How did she get that scar?"

  "It was my fault. I asked her to help me find something. It was dangerous and we ran into trouble," Charming said.

  "What kind of trouble?"

  "Nottingham."

  Sabrina shuddered, imagining the wicked sheriff's serpentine dagger.

  "She was helping me recover something," Charming said. "Something that will help us go home. But Nottingham was guarding it, and he... well..."

  Just then, the older Daphne entered the tent. "It appears our little mission has paid off," she said to Charming. "I may have found another tear in time."

  "Can you tell us when and where it will be?" Sabrina asked eagerly.

  "The Ferryport Landing Cemetery. We need to leave now."

  * * *

  The adults led the children through the cemetery. There were headstones as far as the eye could see, and a crumbling mausoleum leaning precariously across the path. Weeds had grown over most of the burial plots. None of the cemetery's lamps were working, so the group had to rely on the bluish light of the full moon. It gave everything and everyone a ghostly quality.

  "I cannot guarantee the tear will take you back home," the older Daphne said. "In fact, it could put you into an even more dangerous situation."

  "What could be more dangerous than running from dragons all day long?" Sabrina said.