Magic and Other Misdemeanors (The Sisters Grimm, Book 5)

by Michael Buckley

Harry nodded and rushed to a drawer across the room. From inside it he removed a small black ball, no bigger than a marble. It was identical to the one Sabrina had seen the future Daphne use. Charming took it from Harry and handed it to Daphne. The little girl marveled at it for a minute. "I feel funny," she said, "like I'm vibrating." And then she did just that. It was disturbing to see the little girl shaking so hard. Sabrina wondered if it hurt.

  "You're detecting magic," Charming said. "That should help you find the missing magic items."

  "This town is filled with magic items," Sabrina said. "How do we narrow it down?"

  "Daphne will feel things of great power automatically,"

  Charming explained. "But if she concentrates it will lead her to specific objects. You're going to have to practice. Now, let's go. I've got to get you home before you're missed."

  "No time for a break, boss? The spa is offering hot-stone massages," Harry said as he closed the doors of the closet.

  "Not today, Harry," Charming replied.

  Harry led them out of the room, down the elevator, and into the lobby, where they found the portal that would take them back into the real world. Sabrina looked through it. Nottingham was gone and the mayor was sound asleep.

  "I think the coast is clear," she told the others.

  "Good luck, folks," Harry said. "It was a pleasure having you here in the hotel. Perhaps you two could come for a longer stay sometime."

  Charming flashed Harry a warning look.

  "Or maybe not," Harry said. "Well, Aloha and happy surfing."

  Charming was the first to step through the portal. Sabrina and Daphne followed, and the sounds of surf immediately disappeared, replaced with Heart's heavy snoring. Charming gestured for the girls to be still, then draped the white jacket over the mirror. When he pulled the garment away, the mirror was gone, just as the clothing had vanished.

  "Nice trick," Sabrina whispered.

  With the jacket over his arm, Charming crossed the room and carefully opened the door. He craned his neck to look into the hallway and then gestured for the others to follow. Soon they were directly in front of the fireplace.

  "I'll go first," Sabrina said, crawling into the fireplace. She searched the space for the rope but couldn't find it. "The rope is gone," she whispered, climbing out quickly.

  "Of course it's gone," a voice said from the darkness. The group spun around, but all they could see was a dark figure lurking in the shadows. "I can't just let people break in and out of the mayor's house whenever they want."

  Charming clamped his hands on the girls' mouths and pulled them close to him.

  "Who are you?" Nottingham asked. A ray of moonlight caught the silver dagger he held in his hand.

  Charming moved the girls through the room, careful to stay away from any light that might reveal their identities while also avoiding Nottingham's blade. It wasn't easy. The sheriff was fast and nimble. He lunged forward, slashing the air, and they leaped back.

  "Whoever you are, you're either brave or stupid," Nottingham seethed. "Not many would break into the Queen of Hearts's

  home. I'll give you credit for being clever, too. Crawling down the chimney was brilliant. I'll have to post a guard on the roof from now on."

  Nottingham lunged again. This time Charming threw a punch that caught the sheriff in the face. While he was recovering from the blow, Charming ushered the girls to another part of the room.

  Nottingham roared with indignation. Sabrina guessed his pride was hurt more than his face. He leaped at them, swinging his deadly blade in every direction. The girls stumbled backward, avoiding the sheriff the best they could. Unfortunately, the dagger clipped Charming's arm. There was a tearing sound and the prince let out a little groan.

  "Aha!" Nottingham cried. He chased Charming around the room, knocking over tables and lamps. Glass crashed to the floor, furniture was overturned, and in the mad, savage assault, the sheriff caught his boot on an upturned rug. He stumbled forward, falling on top of Daphne and knocking her to the ground. Without hesitation, Sabrina leaped on top of him, kicking and punching as she tried to free her little sister. Nottingham, however, seemed undisturbed by Sabrina's attack and held his shiny dagger up to Daphne's face. She cried out, terrified.

  "Why, you're just a child," Nottingham said. "Perhaps I should leave you with something to remember me by."

  He raised the dagger high over his head, but before its blade could scar Daphne's face, Charming kicked the sheriff in the ribs. The blade flew out of Nottingham's hand and skidded across the floor. As the sheriff clambered to his feet, Charming landed another painful punch to the sheriff's face. Sabrina heard a bone crack, and the villain bellowed in pain, then fell over a chair and hit his head on the floor. After that, he was silent.

  "That's for Daphne Grimm," Charming said, standing over the fallen villain, "present and future."

  Chapter 8

  "Well, we've already changed a number of things about the future," Charming said when Mr. Seven dropped them off outside of Granny Relda's house. "For one, I have my mirror back and two, Daphne has the magic detector earlier."

  "And three, I fought with Nottingham and didn't get a scratch," Daphne said, flashing a smile. "Look at me, I'm still mucho hot-o!"

  "I am sorry to have to put you into danger, but--"

  "Children, go inside," a voice said from behind them. Sabrina looked up and found Mr. Canis waiting on the porch. "I need to have a word with the prince."

  Sabrina could see the anger in the old man's face. "Mr. Canis, we were--"

  "Children, go inside," Canis roared.

  Sabrina and Daphne started to do as they were told, but the argument began before they were through the door.

  "You had no right to take them from the house," Canis said.

  "I got them back safely," Charming argued.

  "You dare to stand there and be flippant," Canis said. "You snuck them out without permission."

  "I did what I had to do, Canis."

  "And what exactly was that?"

  "I can't tell you."

  Canis seethed.

  "You're just going to have to trust me," the prince continued. "Trust you!" Canis said. "Who are you to deserve anyone's trust?

  "That coming from a man who is slowly turning into a killer," Charming bellowed. "Listen, mutt, you want something to trust? Then trust this! I will always work in my own interests, and right now it is in my interest to protect those girls. It is not because I care for them, or have deluded myself into believing that I am part of their family, like you! It's because their well-being serves my current interests."

  "Take them from this home one more time and I swear I will kill you," Canis said.

  Charming marched up the porch stairs and into the house. "Do you wish to explain?" Canis asked the girls. They looked at each other. They had promised not to tell. "I'm sorry," Daphne said.

  "I suspected as much." Canis snapped. He turned and crossed the lawn, disappearing into the woods.

  * * *

  The next morning, Sabrina woke to the loud thumping of people rushing up and down the steps. She shook her sister awake and pulled her out of bed. When they threw open their door, they found Uncle Jake and Mr. Canis moving furniture out of their grandmother's room and down the stairs.

  "What's going on?" she said.

  "We've got yet another big day ahead," Granny said as she stepped out of her room. "We're having a yard sale. Get dressed and come down right away. We could use all the hands we can get.

  The girls did as they were told and found a crowd gathered on the front lawn, browsing over tables covered with lamps, old books, vases, and assorted knickknacks. All of the items had little price tags on them. Granny sat at a rickety card table with a little gray cash box.

  Uncle Jake met the girls on the front porch and together they gazed out at nearly all their possessions. It almost made Sabrina cry to see the old woman selling so many things from her past. "Why is she doing this?"

 
"We're a little short on the tax bill," her uncle said.

  "How short?

  "Three hundred thousand dollars," he said.

  "Does she really think she's going to make that kind of money at a yard sale?" Sabrina asked.

  "Desperate times call for desperate measures," Uncle Jake said.

  For most of the morning, people circulated through the tables, haggling over prices and chatting with neighbors. Granny stayed cheery throughout and never seemed insulted when she was told one of her prized possessions wasn't worth what she was asking for it. She rarely turned down an offer, even if it was ridiculously low.

  "Relda, tell me about this sword," a golden-haired man said as he studied a blade. Sabrina recognized it immediately. It was a gift from Grandpa Basil and it had hung over her grandmother's bed since the girls had moved in.

  "It's a samurai sword from Japan, Sir Kay," Granny explained. "It's Shinto period--a shogun's blade. You can tell from the cherry blossoms carved into the steel. I think it's easily worth ten thousand dollars."

  Sir Kay removed the sword from its hilt and examined the blade closely. "How much are you asking for it?"

  "I'll take whatever you can offer."

  "I'll give you a hundred bucks," Sir Kay said. Granny sighed. "Sold."

  "Granny, no!" Sabrina cried. "You love that sword."

  "It's just a sword, Sabrina, and we need the money," Granny replied.

  Glinda the Good Witch came over carrying an umbrella stand in the shape of an elephant foot. "You don't happen to be selling anything enchanted, are you, Relda?"

  "I'm afraid not," the old woman said.

  "Oh well, I'll take this," the witch said, somewhat disappointed. She handed Granny a ten-dollar bill and disappeared into the crowd.

  "Mom, you're just giving this stuff away," Uncle Jake complained. He crossed the lawn, waving an old book in the air. "This is a very rare copy of the

  Necronomicon.

  There's only four or five of these left in existence, and all you want is ten bucks?"

  "You and your brother spilled fruit punch on all the pages and then ripped out all the magic spells when you were nine," Granny said. "Its value dropped dramatically."

  Uncle Jake frowned and tossed it onto a table, then turned to a crate of old records. "You're selling my Johnny Cash albums? These are worth more than the

  Necronomicon!"

  "Granny, if it would help, I could set up a lemonade stand," Daphne offered.

  The old woman pulled the little girl close for a hug. "A wonderful idea!"

  "Yeah, if we sell each glass for thirty thousand dollars," Sabrina said under her breath. "Where's Charming?"

  "He's keeping a low profile," Granny said, gesturing back to the house.

  Sabrina spotted him peering through the curtains. She nudged her sister so she could see the prince as well.

  Just then, a police car pulled up and parked along the road. Nottingham stepped out of it and approached the yard. Sabrina could see he had a white bandage over his nose, and two black eyes.

  "Hello, Sheriff," Granny said, trying to sound chipper.

  "Selling your trash, are you, Grimm?" the sheriff sneered. "I doubt you could give away most of this."

  "Well, you know what they say, one person's trash is another person's treasure," the old woman replied.

  Nottingham laughed. "You know what else they say? There's a sucker born every minute." He picked up an African mask Sabrina had seen in her grandmother's bedroom, flipped it over, and dropped it back to the table as if it were a wad of used tissue.

  "Seems as if you've had an accident," Granny said.

  Nottingham's lip curled. "Yes... an accident."

  "You need to be more careful," Granny said.

  "Thank you for your heartfelt advice," Nottingham seethed. "By the way, you wouldn't be selling any full-length mirrors this afternoon, would you?"

  Granny smiled and shook her head. "Not today. Perhaps you'd be interested in a paperweight or a pair of sunglasses! No one would see your eyes."

  Nottingham sneered. "Perhaps I should buy a chair. It might be fun to watch your desperate little play. Though I know how it's going to end--in foreclosure."

  Uncle Jake brought over a high-backed chair and set it down. "This one is twenty bucks."

  Nottingham laughed. He paid Granny Relda and sat down. "Money well spent," he sang.

  He was grinning like it was his birthday when former deputies Boarman and Swineheart arrived. They were two of the Three Little Pigs, former police officers and good friends of the Grimms.

  "Hello!" Granny said. "Can I interest you in anything? We've got some great bargains here."

  Boarman and Swineheart nodded and snorted at Nottingham. "How much money have you raised so far, Relda?" Swineheart asked.

  "Oh, I think we've gotten a thousand dollars so far," the old woman said sheepishly.

  Sabrina cringed. The sale had been going on for four hours and they weren't even close to raising the full three-hundred-thousand-dollar tax bill.

  Boarman picked up a letter opener. It had a marble handle and roses engraved in the steel. "This is beautiful," the portly man said.

  "Yes, my husband bought that for me when we made a stop in Paris," Granny said wistfully.

  "I'll take it," Boarman said. He reached into his pocket and took out an enormous roll of money, then handed it to Granny Relda.

  "Mr. Boarman, you've given me too much. The letter opener is only ten dollars," the old woman said.

  Boarman smiled and shook his head. "I think you're wrong. The price tag says ten thousand dollars."

  Sabrina was stunned silent, as was nearly everyone else. Everyone but Nottingham, that is. The man was so shocked, he nearly fell out of his chair.

  When it was Swineheart's turn, he selected a set of silver steak knives in an oak box. "I'll take these," he said, tossing an even bigger wad of cash on the table. Sabrina noticed the price tag said twenty-five dollars. She guessed Swineheart had paid as much as twenty-five thousand.

  "Gentlemen!" Granny said. "This is much too generous."

  "What is the meaning of this?" Nottingham cried.

  That's when Briar Rose appeared. Behind her was a group of Everafters the family had known for years: Mr. Seven, King Arthur, Geppetto... the line went on and on. Each was carrying a huge stack of money.

  "You've been good friends to us," Briar said, then turned to Uncle Jake. "And I can't exactly date a guy who's homeless."

  "But this is outrageous," Granny said. "I can't accept this money. You're giving away a small fortune."

  "No worries," Mr. Seven said as he approached the table. "We live in Ferryport Landing. What are we going to spend our money on anyway?"

  The crowd bought every little knickknack they could for ridiculous sums of money. With each sale, Nottingham seemed to have a new apoplectic fit. He fumed and raged and threatened, but the sales went on.

  As the girls watched from the porch, they heard a tapping behind them and realized Prince Charming was trying to get their attention. They went inside to meet with him.

  "What are you doing? Why aren't you working on the case?" he demanded.

  "We're stuck helping out with the yard sale," Sabrina answered. "You know, we're only kids. It's not like we can just hop in a car and drive downtown."

  "Not again, at least," Daphne said, reminding her sister of the time they had taken the car for a spin.

  "Well, haven't you ever snuck out before? This is the perfect opportunity. Your grandmother is distracted. Take the magic detector and go! If she asks for you, I'll tell her you're upstairs fussing with your hair or playing dolls."

  "Is that what you think we do with our free time?" Sabrina said, aghast.

  "Just go!"

  The girls raced up stairs to retrieve the magic detector and nearly knocked over Puck in the hallway.

  "What are you doing hiding up here?" Sabrina asked.

  "There's hard work going on outside and, as you k
now, I'm allergic," he said. "I once carried a box for the old woman and nearly had to be hospitalized. Why aren't you two helping?"

  "Uh... we're just going to our room," Sabrina stammered. "Do you smell that?" Puck asked. "Smell what?" Daphne said.

  "A lie. I smell a lie and it's stinky. What are you two up to?"

  Sabrina knew the fairy would never give up, so she dragged him into her bedroom with her sister in tow. "We're investigating the stolen magical items on our own," Sabrina said.

  "And you don't want the old lady or Canis to find out? That's incredibly sneaky and dishonest."

  The girls nodded with shame.

  "I'm in," Puck said. "We can crawl out of your bedroom window and I'll fly you wherever you want."

  "You want to change your pants, first," Daphne said. Puck glanced down at his filthy jeans. "No. Why?"

  "They don't fit you anymore."

  Sabrina studied the boy's pants. Normally the cuffs dragged on the ground and into whatever Puck stomped through, but now they were several inches above his ankles.

  "They must have shrunk in the wash," Puck said.

  "Since when do you wash your clothes?"

  Puck shrugged. "Are we going to do this or not?"

  Daphne grabbed the little black ball that detected magic from the bureau and slipped it into her pocket. Then she joined Sabrina and Puck at the window. They opened it and Puck leaped out. A second later his wings were flapping and he was hovering outside. He reached out his hand for Sabrina's. She eyed it as if it were something she didn't understand, like algebra or diagramming sentences. She snatched it quickly before the boy threw a fit, though she caught her sister's grin out of the corner of her eye. Before she had seen their future together, Sabrina wouldn't have thought twice about holding the boy's hand, except to remember to wash later with generous amounts of antibacterial soap and a wire brush. But now even something so simple seemed to have so many complicated layers to it.

  "Don't you say a word," Sabrina grumbled to her sister.

  In no time, the trio was sailing above the treetops out of sight of their family and friends on the front lawn. Once they were over Main Street, Daphne began to shimmer and vibrate.