Welcome Home A**hole and Death Waiver - Two Kick A** Stories

by Michael Esser

  “Hey, I don’t need no doctor.” Shamu exclaims.

  “I’m not here for you. I got to visit my niece Sally, she’s in the I.C.U.”

  “Ah, man I’m sorry Johnny I didn’t know?” Shamu slurs.

  “Yeah, nobody does.” Johnny says as he makes his way into the hospital.

  He grabs a teddy bear from the gift shop, and heads up to his nieces room. Before he arrives he’s stopped by a new doctor.

  “Mr. Paine? My names Dr. Jonas and I came here from Switzerland to see your niece. Can we talk?”

  “Of course, doc.” Johnny says.

  Dr. Jonas continues, “I have examined your niece and feel I can help. I know you’ve been told it’s hopeless but what I plan to do is new. Now that means new tools, new procedures, and a new way to cure her. It’s just everything I’ve got to do for the first time and that’s going to take money. Now, I can invest $100,000 of my own money but that leaves us about $900,000 short.”

  “I’ll get it doc don’t you worry. I’ll get it.” Johnny concludes.

  He turns and pushes open the door to his niece’s room.

  “Uncle Johnny.” Sally yells out as soon as she sees him.

  “Hey, baby girl.” Johnny replies, tucking the teddy bear into her chest as they hug.

  Chapter Four

  Who’s The Boss?

  “No. Hell no.” Mickey Balls, Paine’s Boss yells. “If you think you can jeopardize my operation by going public. Your fucking nuts. I’ll kill you myself. Do you know how many guys and situations you’ve handled for me? Do you know those guys are dying to get on TV to do interviews exposing you and I for what we are. We’d go to jail forever.”

  “OK.” Johnny responds.

  “So how’s the girl?” Mickey asks.

  “She’s sick. This doctor from overseas says he can help but he needs $900,000 for the procedure. That’s why I thought I’d either do this fight or get a loan from you.”

  “You think you can repay $900,000 to me? In this lifetime? Are you nuts?”

  “I do a lot of heavy work for you and she’s the only family I got left.” Johnny please, “Let me fight this guy, we’ll split the money 50/50. Then you loan me your half with a vig.”

  “I don’t know Johnny. I don’t think we can risk it?” Mickey responds.

  “Risk? It’s this little girl’s life, Mickey.” Johnny yells.

  “Hey, don’t get loud with me. You’re my bitch. You do what I say or you’re done.” Mickey yells back.

  Pissed Johnny Paine drops his head down and turns to leave the room.

  “I’ll show you bitch.” he mumbles under his breath.

  Chapter Five

  The Press Conference

  “Snap, snap, snap.”

  The cameras are going wild at the latest live MMA press conference being seen around the world. Reporters are yelling out questions at random to Mr. Groans who’s standing at the podium trying to calm them down with Johnny Paine and various others behind him.

  “What are you going to do about Vader?…How do you plan to stop him?…Is this who you’re going to get to fight him?”

  As everyone starts to calm down Dan lifts the death waiver contract into the air for everyone to see and begins to speak into the camera.

  “This is what Vader wants, a death waiver. So that’s what he’s going to get. How do we fight an out of control fire? With fire. And yes, this is who I’m betting everything on against Vader.”

  “Who is he? What makes him qualified?” a report hollers out.

  Meanwhile at Mickey’s bar we see Mickey’s watching the conference and he sees Johnny standing behind Dan. Balls is pissed. He slams a mug to the ground and grabs the phone.

  “Take a couple guys over to this fucking conference and take care of Paine.”

  Back at the conference.

  “Everyone meet Johnny Paine.”

  He steps aside and ushers Paine up to the podium. There’s a small round of unsure applause as he adjusts the microphone.

  “Thank you everybody. I...”

  Just then the doors behind the stage are crash open and in rush a half a dozen thugs ready to publicly pummel Johnny.

  Paine turns, recognizing the guys, and launches off the stage smashing two of the thugs into the ground, hard. Quickly popping back to his feet he’s met by two thugs with knives that stab wildly. He disarms one breaking his wrist and knocks the other out cold with an elbow to the face. Then, just as that man drops, the last two men attack, rapidly swinging brass knuckles, crisscrossing each other’s swing as Johnny ducks and dodges.

  The reporters gasp at the scene that’s unfolded right in front of them. Until, in a blink, Paine KO’s both of them with a blasts from his fist and elbow. They go wild with cheer. And the amazing thing is that the whole thing was caught on tape and from all angles.

  Several reports have quickly rallied in front of their cameras.

  “It seems sure to go viral for everyone to see. The fans, fighters, Mickey Balls, and shoot even Vader Cruz himself.” One reporter states while another adds, “If Vader Cruz thinks he’s indestructible he’s going to be in for some real Paine come fight night.”

  Chapter Six

  Pissed

  “Click. Crash.”

  The TV’s turned off and the remote thrown into the wall in Mickey’s back of the bar office.

  “God damn it. This son of a bitch thinks he’s going to disobey me over some frigging kid and get away with it. I’ll have his head on a stick.”

  “Bang, bang, slam.”

  The doors kicked in and off its hinges. Vader steps in over the rubble and heads straight for Mickey grabbing him by the collar and lifting him up from behind his desk.

  “Where’s this son of a bitch at.”

  “Uhhh.” Mickey fumbles.

  “One bullshit excuse and I’ll crack your frigging skull like an egg.’

  “Alright, alright he’s a loner. But, if he’s anywhere he’ll be at the hospital. He’s got a sick niece in there.”

  Vader drops Mickey.

  “If you find him tell him if he fights I’m gonna take him and that kid out.”

  Vader turns, punches Mickey’s TV off the wall, and belligerently stomps out of the building.

  Chapter Seven

  Crossing the Line

  Johnny’s got his head down as if he’s praying kneeling beside Sally’s hospital bed.

  “We’re going to make you better baby girl, I promise.”

  A commotion grows louder and closer. Johnny gets up to investigate. He opens the door and sees a charging Vader Cruz bulling his way up the hallway.

  “What the?” Paine mumbles.

  “Paine.” roars Cruz.

  “Yeah. Over here.” replies Johnny.

  The two lock eye’s and Cruz walks straight over to Paine until the two are chest to chest.

  “So you think you’re gonna humiliate me in front of the world?” asks Cruz.

  “I don’t care what I do to you. I’m in it for the payday.” replies Johnny.

  “That’s good. Cause I don’t care about no publicity stunts, friggin’ news, or some piece of shit kid. I’m a kill you in, or out, of that ring. And there ain’t a damn thing your pussy ass can do about it.”

  Johnny’s quickly grows more and more impatient the more Vader speaks. And just as he’s ready to snap, Sally wakes up hearing the turmoil and begins to cry.

  “Your boss said if you fight he’s gonna whack you and the kid. But I say you make me look bad and I’ll shut you and that little bitch up myself, permanently.” Vader says right into Johnny’s face.

  Paine’s eyes grow wide as he’s now ready to fight, screw the ring. Suddenly Sally cries out, “Uncle Johnny.”

  Johnny turns his head long enough for Vader to sucker punch him knocking him out cold.

  Moments later Johnny moans, waking up in a hospital bed. He turns his head to see Sally in her bed staring back at him.

  “You Ok?” She asks.

>   “Yeah baby,” Johnny says rolling over onto his back, “Just feel like I got hit by a train.”

  Sally continues, “You know my dad loved you so much. He never stopped talking about his big brother Johnny and how you could do anything like you had magic powers or something. He said you never backed down when grandpa used to beat you hard and he said you really learned to take it when after school the gangs would single you out for being bigger and even when they beat you with bats and clubs you wouldn‘t back down. He said it happened so often you just got used to it like it just stopped affecting you. He never worried about anybody ever hurting him after that because he knew you’d always have his back. Just like I don’t have to worry cause I know you’ll always have my back. And don’t let those jerks stress you out Uncle Johnny. I know you know how to handle their kind.”

  Johnny sits up in his bed, smiles at Sally, and leans over to kiss her forehead.

  Chapter Eight

  A Plan Forms

  Island music blares out the second story condo located in the North Las Vegas neighborhood known as the “BG” or Baby Ghetto, cause of its small geographic area.

  “Shamu!” Johnny yells standing in the back of his truck, “Where you at you big son of a bitch.”

  By now several menacing island types have begun to pour out of the building to see who's yelling for Joe.

  “Whatchu want wit Shamu, white boy.” one of them says.

  Johnny jumps out of his truck landing right in front of the man who made the comment. Just as he’s about to cool the crowd the Johnny Paine way Shamu appears on the balcony.

  “Paine? Whatchu want wit me now? I already talked wit Balls.”

  “Nah, this isn’t about that.”

  The two lock eyes and Joe senses something more.

  “Ok, come on up.” Shamu says as he turns and returns to his unit.

  Inside Joe’s condo it’s almost like Hawaii.

  Handing Johnny a beer, “What’s on your mind Johnny?”

  “I need you to protect my niece from Mickey and this animal Cruz. It’ll only take a couple of hours while I fight Vader.”

  “You take my fight, rough me up, and now you want my help?”

  “Yeah, I’ll pay you the $100,000 that’s left over after Sally’s treatment. That’ll get you clear with Mickey and still leave a chunk in your pocket for whatever.”

  Acting as if he had to think about it Shamu pauses leaving Paine hanging for a minute.

  “Ok.”

  The two give each other dabs and hug.

  Paine heads to the arena while Shamu heads to the hospital.

  Chapter Nine

  Fight Night

  “Ladies...and...gentleman! Are...you...ready? I...said...are... you...ready? It’s...fight night.”

  The crowd goes wild as the announcer continues, “Now making his way into the octagon for the first time, a real bad ass ready to cause some serious pain, Johnny Paine!”

  Johnny walks up the stairs and into the eight sided cage. The lights go down and artificial thunder and lightning begin to crash and flash.

  “Now making his way to the ring with a record of 3-0, 2 wins by the way of death in the ring, the real grim reaper, the executioner, Vader...Cruz.”

  Vader enters the ring with a hooded cloak and his head down. Just as he lift his head and pulls back his hood the lights come up to reveal Vader has painted his face like a skull.

  The two come together in the center of the ring. As they do Johnny sees Sally’s new doctor, bruised, and wedged between two of Mickey’s goons.

  One of the goons makes a throat slitting move with his thumb at Johnny. Johnny’s heart drops and his mind starts racing.

  “If they kill the doctor, nobody can help Sally. Did they get Shamu? What about Sally? Shit, shit.”

  Back at the hospital, two men are making their way up the backstairs to Sally’s floor. As they enter Sally’s room their startled to see the massive Joe ready to protect the girl.

  The first mans arm is grabbed as he’s instantly flung out the open window. The second man has only seconds to react and the giant Shamu is faster than he looks as he turns and crushes the consciousness out of him by crushing him between his body and the steel enforced hospital wall. Joe takes no chance of a second attack and quickly grabs up the girl and sneaks her out of the hospital and over to the arena.

  Meanwhile back in the ring.

  “Johnny’s not fighting like we‘ve seen he can. Vader’s landing some vicious blows and Paine just seems to be content in taking it while he’s being knocked around the ring.” one slick haired announcer reports to another.

  “There’s no ground game tonight. It’s all stand up. Might as well be a boxing match.” says another.

  Inside the octagon it’s so fast, it’s so fierce. It’s as if somebody’s playing a DVD on fast forward and there’s blood everywhere.

  Out of the corner of his eye Paine sees Shamu coming down the stadium stairs and he’s carrying Sally.

  “Their ok.” Johnny thinks looking over to make sure the doctors still there, he is.

  Reality seems to bend and snap back to a speed that makes sense. Johnny seems to instantly refocuses everything he has on Vader. It feels like it’s been a long time coming and it’s never been so brutal but Johnny stands up straight and twists his massive neck so that it pops itself.

  Vader’s confused sees this as an opportunity to swing for the fences and lets off the most forceful shot he’s ever released. Paine absorbs it with only a half a step back.

  “Oh! Did you see that! How was Paine not lifted off the canvas with that one?”

  “Vader looks like he almost shit his pants.”

  Suddenly, Johnny unleashes blow after blow. Instantly bruising and cutting Vader on impact moving him back and back until he’s up against the cage. Then, as if he pulls earth itself up to connect with Vader’s chin lifting him up so high he almost goes over the caged wall and instead his bloodied mouth piece lands out on the announcers table.

  Dead weight and not breathing the goon’s are trying to make their way through the now frenzied crowd with the doctor but are cut off by Shamu Joe. Then, as they try to turn and retreat they run right into Johnny who’s already left the ring without having his hand raised or any final decision being made.

  “Where you two going with my friend?” Johnny says.

  Both men stunned let the doctor go.

  “I’m not going to pound you, yet. Now go run and tell Mickey if I hear him breathe in our direction again. I’m coming for him, personally.”

  The two run off in separate directions through the crowd and Johnny picks up Sally.

  “I told you could do anything.” She says.

  Shamu begins to laugh a hearty laugh as the crowd begins to cheer.

  “Johnny...Johnny...Johnny...”

  Johnny makes his way back to the ring with Sally in his arms. The crowd quiets momentarily as he steps around a still unconscious Vader now being worked on by paramedics with defibrillator paddles and an oxygen mask just as he reaches the center of the ring. The referee doesn’t hesitate in lifting Paine’s free hand as the announcer screams the victory into the microphone and the crowd erupts just as Vader is shocked back to life and rolls to his side just in time to see the pandemonium.

  On his way out of the octagon Paine notices Vader’s conscious and leans down for one last thing.

  “You had that coming big boy now don’t let me see you in my city or my sport ever again or we’re going to have to have us an instant replay.”

  Paine and Sally exit the ring met by Shamu and a crowd of thousands.

  COMING SPRING 2013

  Michael E. Esser Presents...

  THE PREMIERE OF

  ANOTHER ORIGINAL SERIES:

  The “Us Guys” Organized Crime Series #1

  “The Bellomo Chronicles”

  Find me @:

  thedeadz.com

  whatissteampunk.wordpress.com

  mikeylikest
owrite.wordpress.com

  Facebook.com/Michael.E.Esser

  Twitter.com/SteampunkDeadz