by Redding, Mae
“The only person in here will be Megan, and I’m going to stand right outside the door,” Casey added as they both walked out and shut the door and I stood there for a minute in front of Megan.
“Here… you’re shaking. Come sit on the chair.”
She brought the chair under the shower so I could sit. The shirt slipped easily off my shoulders and I tossed it over to the side as I wrapped myself in the towel. The old rusty knobs squeaked as Megan turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature. I turned to face her. My arm quivered from my lack of strength as I held out my hand to test the water. Megan glanced my way and smiled with warm, golden brown eyes, and then suddenly shock filled her eyes as she gasped.
“Jade, you’re marked!”
I looked down at the ugly tattoo on my chest. My jaw quivered slightly as I clenched my teeth. I would never be able to escape the memory of Damian. “Yeah, don’t remind me,” I said, as I sat on the chair with the towel still wrapped around me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean… I was just surprised to see it.”
“It’s okay. Why is it such a shock?”
“Not everyone gets one…right there,” she said, and handed me a bar of soap. I glanced over my shoulder with quizzical eyes but hesitant to ask why, unsure if I really wanted to know the full meaning behind the tattoo.
“Don’t tell anyone, please,” I pleaded, my voice threatened to give away how much it really bothered me.
“I won’t.”
Water ran through my hair and despite of its warmth, still sent an icy shudder through my veins. The tingly crawl of goose bumps ravaged my body as the spray from the shower pelted my skin. My heart quickened as I forced slow, measured breaths from my lungs to calm myself.
“Are you cold?” She asked. My cheeks felt hot but the hair on my arms stood on end as a chill ran up my spine.
“No.” I answered back too quickly. My voice a breathless whisper as I lathered soap in my hands. I glanced up at Megan, unsure if she was aware of my internal turmoil. She smiled as water spilled in a sheet down my face. My chest grew tight. I didn’t realize I held my breath, then I released it at once and offered her a forged smile back. I looked away and rubbed soap absently over my skin as she massaged shampoo gently into my hair.
Breathe… just breathe… In… Out… In.
My eyes grew heavy and I let them drift closed. The water and my anxiety drained my energy and I felt weak, like if I were sick with the flu. I searched for something, anything through the cobwebs in my mind that could distract me from memories of the razor sharp spray, pinpricking pain and Damian with a high-pressured fire hose in his hands.
Megan.
Thoughts of her slightly swollen belly entered my mind. The first thing I noticed about her when I walked in. If she wasn’t so thin otherwise, I might not have even noticed. She reminded me suddenly of the kids and the babies in Morrison’s compound.
“You’re pregnant?” She was still just a kid herself, in that aspect, I was too. A shudder ran through me.
“Yeah… four and a half months,” she smiled. She rubbed the little bump with a soapy hand and covered it completely with her palms.
“Do you want to be?”
“I’m okay with it, now.”
“Sorry for asking, but, did you choose to be?”
“No, it’s one of Morrison’s rules.”
I looked at Megan confused. “What do you mean?”
“It’s a right he’s given to the men to re-populate, to re-build. He wants followers who will answer to him. Some of the girls won't even have the chance to see their babies. If you are married and a faithful follower, you can keep your child, but if you’re not he has them raised and educated by other women. I didn’t have any say in it, I didn’t have a choice.”
“Are you and Casey married?”
“No.”
The shower stopped and Megan handed me another towel. My knees trembled as I stood for a second to wrap it around me. I let the other one slap against the tile floor around my feet then sat back on the chair. Cold air wrapped around me like frozen fingers and a different kind of chill crawled over my body. I shook uncontrollably as I rubbed droplets of water off my skin. Megan towel dried my hair then ran the comb through it. Slowly, I pulled on the oversized shirt and sweats she brought me. The thin cotton and fuzzy insides of the sweats, just enough to warm my skin. I stood with my arms folded across the front of me.
My insides still buzzed with internal trembling from the cold but the panic inside me, gone replaced by a calmness I hadn’t felt in a long time. My heart slowed to a normal pace, my breaths, as heavy as the dank air that I brought into my chest.
“You look much better,” she smiled, but it quickly faded. “But you look worn out... Let me grab Casey and we’ll get you back.”
I reached for her hand as she turned to leave and looked up at her. “I’m not in a hurry…Thank you, Megan. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“That’s okay.”
“Why are you here at the jail?” I asked. We walked together towards the door.
“My aunt makes me work. In exchange, Morrison gives her food for us. I met Casey here. That is the only good thing about this place.”
The shower room door snapped open and a wave of stale air blew in from the hall. I walked out and found Casey and Denny patiently waiting.
“Thanks, Casey.”
“Sure. We’ve got to get you feeling better,” he smiled, Megan walked over to him and slipped her arms through his. He gave a wave of his hand and they headed down the long hallway.
Denny leaned back with one foot propped against the wall and arms folded across his chest. He glanced at me then looked at his watch as he tapped his finger against it.
“I just about fell asleep. I thought for a minute I was back at home waiting in line behind my sisters for the bathroom.” His unexpected comment brought a laugh and I smiled at him.
“Did I take too long?”
“Na, you take as long as you need.”
“You aren’t as mean as you want people to believe, Denny.”
“Don’t tell anyone,” he said, as we walked down the hall then he gave me a playful wink. His lively smile exposed dimples in his cheeks.
“Why do you work for Morrison?” I asked, surprised at my own abruptness but he didn’t seem to fit the description of the Militia.
“When the virus hit, I was an inmate here. Morrison seized the jail days after the disaster. They took over but didn’t let anyone out. After about three months, he started making deals with the inmates. If they worked for him, he would release them. I jumped on the opportunity, but had no idea what I walked into. To make sure you don’t run off, he threatens you with your family. I have a wife. She stays with my mom and sister in a grouped off housing area on the other end of the city, patrolled by guards.”
“Why did you get put in jail?”
“I got into a fight and put a man in the hospital… It was stupid. He had it coming but I should have walked away,” he sighed, his glance looked distant as if he reflected on the incident. “I had been in jail maybe a week and was waiting to see the judge to be released.”
“You’re working on the wrong side Denny. You should be working with my brother.”
“Who says I’m not.”
I looked at him stunned as we returned to C-block. I wanted to ask if he knew Kane, but I couldn’t risk saying anything more. He opened my cell and I went inside as he stared intently at me.
“Gage is coming and we’ll get you out, Jade,” he said, in a hushed tone. “Just hang on.”
“What?” I asked, softly through the echo as the bars slammed shut. “How do you know Gage?”
My heart pounded as I searched his eyes. I clung to the bars and gripped them tight. The keys jingled in Denny’s hands as he locked me in.
“I know Gage and Kane. I’ve talked to them both. They are coming. It’s only a matter of time now,” he said, barely above a whisper. “That
’s why we moved you here with the others.”
My thoughts jumped instantly to Trey, locked somewhere alone, in a different part of the jail and my heart quickened, as I suddenly feared for him. Denny must have recognized the worry on my face because he immediately added.
“I saw Trey yesterday…”
“You did!” I practically jumped out of my skin.
“Yeah… I passed on some information. It won't be long,” Denny paused for his words to sink in. A brief smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “He’s doing fine and I told him you were okay.”
I nodded my head as I pressed against the bars and he gave me another wink and a smile.
“Don’t give up... Not much longer.”
“Thank you.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t worry about it,” Denny said. He turned and walked away. The danger he placed himself in scared me, he risked his life, his family's life. They lived under Morrison’s thumb and still… My thoughts trailed off to Gage. What were they planning?
***
“Feel better?”
I sat up from the mattress and looked over towards Charles. Once an annoyance, turned into a friendship and I looked forward to our conversations. If anything, it made the time pass. We had to be careful what we said and couldn’t talk too much to avoid the unwanted attention of the guards. But it was a nice break from the inside of my mind to have someone to talk to.
“Yeah. It felt good to clean up. The water was warm… but not that warm.”
“That’s because this place is running on a generator. That’s why the lights are always dim if they are on at all.”
“That’s how it was at the compound… I wonder why Morrison is so against electricity, and heat.”
“He’s not. I’m sure he has huge supplies of fuel stored somewhere for his own use.”
I looked at Charles confused. I remembered winter, people went cold and hungry after the virus hit and even though our fireplace was constantly lit, that winter was rough and quite miserable for us, especially Emery.
“In order to start this country over, Morrison had to shut everything down, to paralyze the nation. Then he can gradually rebuild the resources under his command. He doesn’t want everyone to have all the conveniences that we are all used to. He wants everyone to depend on him to get it re-established, that’s how he will stay in control. We’ll get it back, years from now.”
“If we ever get out.”
“You’ll get out. All of us will someday,” Charles said, as he glanced at Olivia with optimism that I wasn't sure he convinced himself of.
“I hope so,” I paused, shortly and turned to Olivia.
“Mayor?”
“Jade, just call me Olivia,” she said, her muted grey eyes smiled as she looked at me. I remembered, my parents liked her and I could see why with her genuine concern for the people and her intelligence, visible in her confident poise.
“Okay… Olivia. Morrison had kids locked up in the compound. I have no idea if they made it out with the raid, have you heard?”
“Kids?”
“Yeah, orphaned kids and babies, whose parents were killed. I know of at least fifty, maybe more. The kids I saw were twelve and younger, but I know kids between the ages of thirteen and seventeen were there somewhere. The boys were training to be fighters, the girls… Used for something else,” I paused, as my own words registered. Olivia looked on, waiting for me to give her more. “Damian said something about they didn’t have to go far, that they would get out. Damian had a planned escape route and a truck waiting for us under a bridge. Maybe they had a place they planned on taking the kids if they needed to escape quickly with them.”
“Really? I’ll see what I can find out.”
“Thank you.”
Over the next few days, my reservations lifted some as my trust grew for Charles and Olivia, but kept quiet about what Denny said. Their moods lightened with mine and I wondered if they too, sensed a change in the air.
***
I tried to wake but I wasn’t sure why. The potent smell of liquor and cigarettes grew heavy in the air. The touch of invasive, rough hands aroused me from my sleep as I heard his heavy breaths next to my face. Suddenly, my senses heightened and I jerked into wakefulness when I realized, I wasn’t dreaming.
He grabbed me suddenly and covered my mouth. Through widened, distraught eyes, I saw the harsh planes of Damian’s face, inches from mine. His lack of restraint grew. Induced by alcohol to carnal cravings expressed through wolfish eyes. My insides coiled with bile. I tried to scream. Fear engulfed me. He pressed his hand against my mouth and nose. I couldn’t breathe. Tight. Constricting. I thought would pass out, and then he removed his hand.
“I’ll do it again if you make a sound!”
With a nod of my head, I quickly agreed as my heart pounded up in my throat. I didn’t make a sound. I cringed as his rough hand brazenly touched my cheek. Down my jawline. His fingers latched around my neck. He squeezed tight enough to make it harder to breath then put his mouth on mine as he forced himself onto me.
“Stop Damian… Please!” I pleaded, barely above a whisper. “No more, don't do this.”
He squeezed my neck tighter and I gasped for air. “Shut up!” Damian said. Hostile and aggressive, his lips attacked mine. I turned my face away from him and pinched my eyes closed.
“Every time you close your eyes at night, you will think of me! You will see me in your dreams! Whether I am here or not, I will be there in your mind every night for the rest of your life!”
Tears brimmed over my lashes. I let them fall quietly down my cheek. He released one hand from my neck. The violent nature of his groping left me paralyzed. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I drew in a sharp breath. I couldn't go through this again. Then as I lost all hope, I saw a light come on down the corridor.
“Denny!” I screamed!
The heaviness of Denny’s footsteps echoed against the jail walls as he ran down the hall. I cried out as Damian struck me then he tightened his grip on my neck. I heard keys jingle. I struggled for air. The pressure in my head grew exponentially. I clawed at his hands and hungered for breath. Sounds of Olivia and Charles voices faded distantly at their desperate attempts to encourage me to hold on. Blackness grew thick in the dark night. I started to fade.
Denny pulled Damian off me. I gasped and coughed as I struggled to breathe. The sudden surge of air no less painful than the absent flow seconds before. I heard sounds of a struggle then Denny dragged Damian out of my cell and took him away.
I lay there, awake, afraid to move, afraid to fall asleep. Afraid he would find me in my dreams, just as he promised. The feel of his fingers still present on the place around my neck. Everywhere he touched me my skin bristled with panic. I stared at the ceiling, fearing his return before I finally let my eyes close.
***
I waited for the day to resume as normal but Denny never returned and breakfast never came. After hours of dreading what would come next, I heard a door open. Footsteps headed down the hall and stopped in front of my cell.
My heart froze in my chest when I saw Damian. A black eye and a cut lip marred his face. He stared at me. His icy, cold eyes darkened with hatred as they locked on mine. Rubin stood next to him along with Jasper. I pressed myself into the corner as he rushed into my cell. He grabbed me and I screamed. A blood-curdling scream. Desperation set in. I thrashed and begged, and desperately pleaded for them to leave me alone. I grabbed the bars to Charles cell. I clung to it as he helplessly gripped the bars on the other side. His eyes wide, darting.
“Hang on! Be strong, Jade!” Charles yelled, as Damian pried my fingers off the bars.
They yanked me down the hallway. I writhed and squirmed under their firm grasp. My wrists ached from his vice-like grip. I continued to scream. Tears burned my eyes. My throat raw like I swallowed sandpaper as he carried me past the other prisoners. They all stood at their cell doors and watched them take me away. “NO!” I cried,
whipped with defeat. Breathless and tired. My determination and will crushed. My desperate sounds echoed through the block then down the grey hallway. I knew where we headed.
Damian sneered at me as I looked around the familiar shower room. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Denny. He knelt on his knees with his hands cuffed behind his back with two men on either side. They held onto him and forced him to look at me. Swollen, and black and blue to the point I hardly recognized him.
“This is what happens when you turn others against me!” Damian said. The razor sharp spray of the fire hose cut fiercely as Damian directed it at Denny. Many times before, I felt it and I knew the pain. To have red welt-like cuts all over your body, so many and so excruciatingly painful that the slightest touch became unbearable.
“No! Please don’t!” I cried. Damian handed off the hose to Jasper and returned me down the hall to the cement room, my previous dungeon.
“You turned my own brother against me!”
“No, I didn’t!”
“I told you I would find out! Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What you've started?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“Oh, Jade. You think you had it bad before…”
CHAPTER 32
I woke crouched in the corner pressed against the cold cement wall, barely aware in a dull, numbing fog. I tried to open my eyes, but couldn’t. My mind churned slowly, minutes passed by like hours as I tried to place where I was. Fear and confusion paralyzed my reaction as I struggled to bring my cuffed, trembling hands to my face and touch my eyes. A thick cloth constricted tightly, a blindfold. I sighed as I rested my head against the roughly textured cement as the last remaining shreds of fight left me and escaped into obscurity.
Awareness encompassed me suddenly and I gasped. The tangible abrasion of rage thickened the air stomping out the usual damp, musky stench of my cell. I wasn’t alone. My heart beat fiercely against my chest. I couldn’t breath as fear consumed me, constricted by the ever present eyes that peered from somewhere in the darkness. A devastatingly familiar voice too close, way to close, whispered in my ear and I knew pain, persistent merciless pain, would soon follow. “Let’s go, you know the drill.”
