by Redding, Mae
***
How many more weeks… months… could I live through this! I had no idea how much time had gone by. Why did Damian have this unrelenting desire to hurt me, to torture me as he did? He won! I told him he won! Wasn’t he happy with that? He took me. I'm sure Gage paid for it every day when he woke up, reminded where I was. I didn't fight him, I didn't resist anymore as I prayed for an end. One way or another, I needed this vicious cycle of drug induced lethargy and disjointed delusions followed by pain and anguish by his hand to end.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be good, Damian. I promise.”
“It’s too late for that, Jade.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Do you think I can trust you now? You played me the whole time!”
Denny hung by his wrists from the ceiling and Jasper and Rubin dropped him to the floor. He struggled to his knees as Damian set me in front of him. My body drenched, water dripped from a heavy curl that hung in my face. I didn’t bother to fight back. With the sting and the red welts still present, I ignored my own pain as I watched Denny suffer through his.
My hair follicles stood on end as I heard the click of a gun and watched as Damian loaded one bullet into it. My insides turned brittle as he spun the barrel and pointed it to my head. Jasper did the same and held it to Denny’s. With my hands over my ears, I pinched my eyes closed and screamed inside my mind, shattering the last of my will.
“Please, don’t…!” I begged, panic leaked into my voice, but he laughed.
Deep despair overpowered me and I cried as I realized this was my fate. I would never see Gage. I would never see the light of day. I would never see Emery, Trey, or Kane again. I’m sure they tried but I had to accept the fact that they weren’t coming.
The small sliver of hope I harbored dissolved into no hope at all, as I resorted to death one last time. I don’t know why I let Casey convince me to hold on. No one would come and I knew that now.
Click! I heard the simultaneous empty click of the misfired guns and I jumped out of my skin. I looked at Denny as he watched me through grief stricken eyes.
“I am so sorry, Denny! You’re here because you helped me,” I cried. “You should’ve looked the other way.”
“No,” he said, “I’m sorry we didn’t get you out.”
Click! I jumped again. My heart pounded in my chest and I squeezed my eyes shut as I sobbed. I couldn’t stand it! I looked at Denny with anguish crushed into the crevices of his face. Then a gun went off, and his body jerked before me. I gasped, horrified and sickened as my stomach wrenched painfully. His eyes clouded, muted instantly by death. Life left him as his body fell and he lay motionless. Dark red blood spilled onto the grey tile floor, his face diluted to the color of bleached bone.
“Denny!” I screamed. I grabbed his arms and shook him. They shot him! A strangled sound escaped as my body racked with sobs at the devastating realization, they killed him! My heart plundered in my chest as hands pounced on me and drug me across the floor away from Denny. I screamed and kicked. I swung my fists to anyone who I could reach. It was only by chance that Denny was dead instead of me. Rubin and Jasper held me as I stared down the revolver Damian pointed at me. He pulled the trigger. Click again. I sobbed as my heart galloped out of my chest. My head whirled as the room spun. Two more left.
“Stop this!” I screamed, as a satisfied smirk crept across Damian's face. “Just get it over with!”
The door suddenly burst open and men filled the room. Overwhelming chaotic yells, echoing shouts from every direction. Damian swung the gun around wildly and fired at the men in the doorway. The deafening sound of the gun rang through my ears as he shot the bullet meant for me. Shards of shattered tile splintered into the air as it hit the wall.
“Back off or I’ll shoot her!” Jasper held onto me and jammed the gun to my head. The hard steel of the barrel dug into my scalp.
“Drop your guns!” Damian yelled, his gun pointed at anyone who moved.
The yelling continued. I thought I heard Gage. My head spun. Then I saw him. Gage stood with a rifle pointed, his eyes heated, fixed on Jasper who held me. Casey was there too, along with Kane, guns pointed.
I grabbed Jaspers empty gun and pulled it away from my head. I struggled to get free. “The guns are empty!” I screamed. At that moment, Damian and Rubin pulled metal shelves stocked with towels crashing to the floor and ran through the side door. Metal screeched against the tile floor as Kane and Casey shoved it aside and ran after them. I heard a shot go off. Then another down the hall.
I struggled to get away from Jasper as Gage lunged at him. He let go as he fought to defend himself and I fell to the floor. The air punched from my lungs, I gasped. I curled up and covered my head as the two of them fought around me. I pulled myself to my knees, crawled to the wall and leaned against it. Dazed, I watched them fight. With a fleeting glance, I saw they were the only ones left in the room besides me.
Denny’s lifeless body lay in a pool of blood, the shower room floor, pink with blood diluted by water. I followed the red trail to the other side of the floor and saw a rifle. They fought hard with fierce frenzy, determined to kill each other. Clenched fists flew, punches landed as they brutally attacked each other in a tangled brawl. The battle wouldn’t end until one killed the other.
I staggered as I tried to stand. The heaviness of my legs felt like walking through waves from the ocean and I fell to the floor. I crawled over to the gun and picked it up. Braced against the wall I aimed at Jasper. My arms trembled and swayed from the weight of the gun. I blinked my eyes, then rubbed them with the back of my hand as I tried to focus. He staggered backwards from Gage's brutal blow and stepped into my view. Without a pause to think, I pulled the trigger and prayed I hit him. The deafening gunshot boomed loud in the room. My ears rang, replaying the blast over and again in my head and then faded to eerie, ringing silence.
Jasper looked at me and then down to his chest that bled from a gaping hole. He staggered two steps and fell to the ground. He reached out, his hand inches from me. I tried to press myself into the wall as I held my breath. Jasper gasped, struggled to breathe as blood oozed from the side of his mouth and flowed freely from the center of his chest. The color leached from his face, life, taken from him. For the second time in minutes, I watched existence seep from a man’s eyes.
I gripped the rifle, my trembling hands white around the knuckles. A strangled whimper escaped me as my hazy eyes met Gage. Briefly stunned he stared at me, and then in two steps moved to my side. He took the gun from my hands and set it down. He collapsed to his knees, desperation and relief leaked into his eyes while they searched mine. Dazed, I tried to register his face as he drew me to him. His body shook and he held me as if he would never let go.
“Gage…”
“You’re alive,” Gage said, over again. His voice wrought with emotion as he brushed my hair off my face. “I thought I lost you…”
“You came…”
“I wouldn't stop until I found you.”
Exhaustion devoured me as the tears fell. Months of terror and fear drained from me as sobs racked my body. I couldn’t believe he held me in his arms and though I didn't feel worthy of him, I didn't want him to let go. A sense of calm moved over me. The two of us, submerged in the same silence. The faint sounds of blood water trickling down a drain and my cries that escaped me, magnified off the dense shower walls. I raised my head and reached my hand to his cheek, wet from his tears. My fingers brushed over his face. His moist blue eyes closed to absorb my touch and he exhaled a ragged breath as if a heavy weight lifted and he could breathe again.
“I'm taking you home,” he said, as he pulled back to look over my condition. His eyes anguished.
“Home?”
My jaw trembled, as I looked through heavy lids, unable to convince myself he sat before me.
“Yeah, it's over, Jade. You are coming home,” he said, as he cupped my cheeks in the palms of his hands as he looked at me tenderly with moi
stened eyes, and then crushed me to his chest again tangling his fingers in my hair and I sank into him. With little effort, he picked me up and slung the rifle over his shoulder, then walked past the bodies of Jasper and Denny.
I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders and buried my face into his neck. He carried me through the door and weaved down the maze of hallways. I drifted in and out. The sway from him carrying me, calming.
Light shone bright through my translucent eyelids and I looked up. My mind, slow to register the daylight that filtered through a wall of windows. Daylight, something I hadn’t seen in a long time. A knot grew in my throat.
The hallway opened up to the front entryway of the city building. The entire front of the building, glass that stretched three stories high. One of the frames of glass shattered and open to the outside, glass all over the floor. My guess, their way in.
I heard men’s voices and we met Joel at the front lobby. “We have this area secured but Chale says they are closing in out there, we’re going to have a hell of a time getting out if we don't move now,” Joel said. “Kane radioed in, him and Casey went to get Trey.”
“What are we up against?” Gage asked, as he set me gingerly on a couch, never taking his eyes from me as goose bumps traveled up my arms. I shivered uncontrollably.
“The building across the street here in the front is secure, but the whole right side of the city building and that street is covered with them still. We’ve got a serious gun fight ahead, we’ll need to take cover most of the way,” Joel said, and glanced at me then scanned the room as he added, “its pretty cold out there.”
With nothing to cover my drenched body, Gage took off his jacket revealing a white tee shirt under a black bulletproof vest. The sleeves stretched tight against his biceps as he wrapped his jacket around me. I couldn’t help but look at my frail arm next to his. He noticed too, by the look he gave me but didn’t say anything as he gingerly brushed his thumb over my hollowed cheek.
With widened eyes, I gasped suddenly, startled by his touch, and with a fleeting glance met his soft blue eyes that settled on me. I averted my gaze down between my arm and his as I followed the curvature of his muscled chest and shoulder, past his strong, shadowed jaw line and settled once again on his endearing glance. He looked so big, healthy and strong compared to me.
He put the jacket over my shoulders and I slid my arms through the sleeves warmed by his body and pulled it close me.
“The trucks can't make it in so we'll have to go farther than I originally planned,” Joel said, as he walked up to us hurriedly with something in his hands. “I don't know how effective this blanket will be since we need to walk out on foot.”
He shook it open then quickly set it over me. I gasped as I reacted suddenly to Joel's movement and jerked away from him. My heart raced as I covered my face and buried it into Gage's chest. Shocked by my reaction I slowly turned back towards him to see he looked just as shocked.
Tears welled up in my eyes. “I’m… sorry, I …” I said, as I choked through my instant tears. I suddenly felt conflicted, confused, an automatic reaction to protect myself from the beatings, forced actions and torture, practiced well over the last six months, but unnecessary now.
“No… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have done that,” Joel replied, stunned. He stood there and looked at me for a moment then glanced at Gage as he sheltered me with his arms. “We need to move.”
Gage just nodded as they communicated something else between them, unspoken but I saw the bewilderment in their eyes, then Joel walked back over by the door and looked out.
“Are you okay?” He asked, visibly concerned.
“I’m sorry…” I hesitated, unsure how I felt, unsure how to explain my reaction. “I don't know why…”
“Don't be. There is nothing you need to apologize for, okay?”
“Okay.”
“We need to go. Are you ready?” Gage asked. I nodded. “We are going to get shot at. Once we start going we can’t stop until we get out of their range of fire. We are meeting Kane about a mile up the road.”
Weakness seeped through me like a thick dark fog consuming a vast field. “I don’t know if I can,” I cried, but it sounded more like a pathetic whine.
He gave me a look of disbelief. “I’ve never known you say you can’t… Jade. This is almost over.” He checked his rifle and made sure it was loaded. He grabbed a handgun from his belt and checked it too.
“Stay close to me and keep your head down.”
We stood at the entrance of the jail. The sight of the pale sun overwhelmed my eyes and they watered as I tried to open them. Shielded with my hands, I wiped them dry as I rested back against the wall.
Distorted voices hurt my ears, men with guns strapped to their backs, dressed in green army camouflage. I felt myself weaken as I slid down the wall to the floor. My legs couldn’t hold me. My limbs trembled as I tried to get up onto my knees but collapsed back to the ground. Gage knelt next to me.
“She’s not going to make it.”
“I just need a minute, Gage.” My hand trembled as I reached out for his arm. I tried to get up and he stopped me.
“Don’t try to get up yet, just wait a minute,” he said, softly. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head.
“We need to go before we get surrounded. I don’t know how much longer we can hold them off out there, Gage. They took the building along fifth, they are closing in!” Joel added, anxious to move.
“Just a second, Joel! I’m going to carry you,” Gage said, as he picked me up and carried me to the door. “You guys are going to have to cover me. Let’s go.”
“Gage… you can't carry me the whole way, let me try.” With weighty eyelids, I looked into his eyes, wild and ready for the fight just outside the door. His eyes softened as they met mine.
“Okay… I’m here if you need me.”
His words hit me hard, as I knew I wouldn't make it out alive without him. I needed him. I would always need him and felt stronger with him next to me, capable, and knew that because of him, I would be okay.
Gage set me down in the doorway but didn't move away. I leaned into him and he kept an arm around me. Joel shouted orders as the door opened. The cold air rushed in and stole my breath. A brisk breeze blew and the fresh air cleared my mind. Goose bumps crawled over my legs.
Somehow, I willed my legs to move and Gage held onto me as gun shots cracked around us. We ran across the street behind a parked car. The gunfire deafened my ears and I could only half hear what Joel said as he yelled at the others about where they were headed.
The darkness from the shadows of the nearby buildings decreased overhead as the overcast sky thickened above. I felt a little better, maybe it was the cool air, fresh in my lungs, or Gage next to me, but the dizziness waned.
We took on heavy fire from the road to the right of the jailhouse. Joel and the other men fired several rounds as Gage pulled me to the end of the building and around the corner. He stopped against the wall and waited as the others followed. We crossed the street and stopped behind another car.
Joel shouted. “We are pretty well covered now until we get down to the corner. Once we get there, we need to follow the road left and down two blocks. Morrison is lining the opposite side of that road now, but it’s the only way out. Once we get to the end of those two blocks, our men are on both sides. We are largely outnumbered. It will be tough but if we can get there, we are home free.”
Joel talked to everyone but looked at me. “It’s going to be a rough two blocks so keep your head down,” he said, then talked into his hand radio to someone up ahead.
“We shouldn’t take on too much fire until the corner. Our men line both sides of the street here, but once we get down there, we need to turn left. That’s where Morrison and the Militia are trying to cut us off. They’re right across the street in those buildings,” Gage said, re-enforcing Joel’s instructions. “Our guys are on our side of the street above us in the windows helping
with cover… Are you ready?”
“I’m ready.”
“Let’s go.”
There were four other men besides Joel and Gage. Two were up in front, the other two behind us.
The icy cold cement numbed my blackened bare feet. My thin legs trembled against my damp shirt but I managed to keep up as we ran down the sidewalk.
We stopped behind a car as we neared the corner to rest. We would walk right into the Militia, right into Morrison. My chest tightened, squeezing off my air as I felt the restraints of panic infringe. I looked around wide-eyed and terrified at the vacant buildings, men on rooftops, in windows and behind abandoned cars. Everywhere I looked, there were so many guns.
The men discussed where we would stop for cover next as I grabbed his arm and he turned to look at me. “Gage, if we don’t make it out of this I…”
“We will!” he interrupted. “I am taking you home, Jade! We’ll make it!”
I paused for a moment. “But if we don’t… thank you…if we don’t make it out… If I’m going to die… I’m just glad it wasn’t in there.”
He grasped the back of my head and brought his face close to mine. “You are not dying here! I won’t let you, so don’t get any crazy ideas!” He smiled, as he tried to comfort me. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
“We’re going to run to that car over there on the corner. Joel is going to go first and we’ll follow him,” Gage paused for a moment, and then looked down at his chest. He quickly unzipped his bulletproof vest and pulled it off. “You should wear this.”
I looked at him startled. “No!”
“Yeah, you wear it.”
“No Gage! I’m not taking your vest!”
“Wear it, Jade.”
“You wear it! I won’t wear it! You’re the one with the gun! You need it more than I do!” He went to put it around me and I scooted back. “I’m not going to wear it, Gage! Put it back on!”
“I can’t wear one if you don’t.”
