Bring Me Back

by Jessie Gussman

  “For Eve, too, probably.”

  “No. Eve could sleep through a bomb blast.”

  “You know you’d make the best dad.”

  He didn’t say anything. After Riley was finished shredding his heart, he’d kept his focus on raising his sisters. He had his mom’s death to deal with too. For him and his sisters.

  “You never got married.”

  “I did two days ago.”

  She harrumphed. “You know what I mean.”

  “Neither did you.”

  “I know. But it’s hard to have any kind of life working the way I do. Dad is pretty demanding. Not that he stands over my shoulder, but he wants results. Not to mention, after I got old enough, he’s had me take Mom’s place at a lot of charities and events.”

  “Yeah, I guess it was the same for me. The twins took up a lot of time, and I wasn’t bringing a woman home who wasn’t going to love them like I did.”

  “That was big of you. Surely you wished for help.”

  “Every day.”

  He willed his mouth to stay shut. He wasn’t going to say that no woman compared to her. That he couldn’t get the pieces of his broken heart back together. That if he couldn’t have her, he didn’t want anyone. That after the pain he endured with her, he would never trust anyone again anyway.

  The sky in front of them turned gray, then pink, then orange.

  He had six months of this. Six months to enjoy the presence of the only woman he’d ever loved. Then he was going to leave.

  Chapter 15

  The next week, Riley sat at her desk in her new office, which was very similar to her old one, and leaned her forehead in her hands. The headache that had been knocking on her forehead all afternoon had exploded into a pounding pain just after five. At least it waited until everyone else went home.

  She grabbed some pain pills out of her purse and chugged some of the water from the bottle on her desk.

  She had never figured out whether there was any kind of rhyme or reason to the filing habits of her predecessor, and she’d stopped trying. The main focus now was getting all the files in order, from wherever they were. She’d gotten a good start on it last weekend when Ben had driven back to Maine to get his toolbox and make sure the house was closed up. It was funny how she’d missed him for the night he was gone.

  She’d especially missed sitting on the porch with him watching the sunrise. They’d done that every morning since the first morning. The thought that it was going to be hard to watch him leave for good pushed up in her head, and she shoved it back. She didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to think how she loved feeling his quiet strength and sharing her problems.

  With her dad, it was all about her performance. With Ben, she felt like a part of a team. An elite team, since Ben was so good at his job, and she was decent at hers. She felt like they could take the world by storm and end up sitting at the top. Although the goal wasn’t to be at the top of the world. It was just to have this terminal at the top.

  And with Ben, she knew she could do it. But the partnership with Ben, the feeling that they were so much stronger than the sum of their parts, was not long-term, and she needed to remember that.

  She should focus on how pleased her dad was going to be when this shop was on the top of the performance list.

  Like her thoughts had brought him up, her dad walked in her open office door.

  Confident as always, he strode right in, not looking surprised that she was working late. Of course not. He’d expect it.

  “I’m heading out on a trip for a few days,” he said without a greeting. “I wanted to see what you’re doing first. It’s been a week. You’re settling in?” He walked around her desk, looking at the information on her computer screen.

  “It’s going really good, Dad. I think in six months this terminal will be at the top.”

  Her dad crossed his arms over his chest and nodded silently, reading over her shoulder. She slid over a little to give him better access. She’d been organizing the maintenance logs. He reached down and clicked through a few places.

  After a few minutes of silence, he pointed to truck #7564. “The top end on this truck was redone three times in six months. The last time was two weeks ago. That should throw a red flag up to people in the shop. Have you been in touch with anyone about that?”

  “Well, it happened before we came, and I’m just now getting to these records...”

  “How often have you been down in the shop since you got here?”

  She strong-armed her smile to stay in place. “I’m there every day.” When Ben dropped her off.

  “Let’s head down there for a few minutes now.” Phrased as a suggestion, it really wasn’t.

  She closed a few windows and shut the computer off, dread making her head feel like the inside of a church bell on Sunday morning. How would she tell her dad she’d brought Ben along with her from Maine?

  They walked out of her office together and headed to the shop. It wasn’t a long walk, although the silence stretched between them like miles of empty desert, and the uncomfortableness of having nothing to talk to him about made each step seem like years passed.

  Finally they reached the big garage bays where four of the eight doors were open, and she started chattering, listing off the things that had been fixed and the plans Ben had laid out for her.

  Although she knew Ben wouldn’t be on break, she really hoped he’d stepped out for something.

  The open doors let in the cool evening air. A truck sat in each bay, one with the rears out, one with the motor torn down. Ben was redoing the motor, and he’d told her at lunch when she called him that he’d be working on getting everything apart until after nine. As she looked, he came around the side of the hood with a piston in his hand. His face broke into a grin as he saw her, then his eyes snapped to her dad. His smile froze.

  She kept talking in her most business-like tone, hoping that Ben wouldn’t force any issues or make a scene. Her dad might not even recognize him, but at the very least, she wouldn’t have to admit today that she’d married him. That might go over a lot better once they’d gotten the shop performing to its potential.

  But her dad stopped. His eyes narrowed on Ben as Ben set the piston on the makeshift worktable with the rest of the motor parts.

  Riley altered direction, pointed away from Ben. “The shop layout is not conducive to performance. My team has some ideas that will improve production...”

  Her dad stopped as Ben disappeared around the side of the truck. “That’s the boy from Maine, isn’t it?”

  “That’s Ben Baxter,” Riley said in the same tone she’d been using. Her stomach flipped and flopped like a fish on land, but she kept her face placid. “And, yes, he was part of my team in Maine, and he agreed to come down here and help with this project.”

  “He’s the one that had a thing for you back in high school.”

  Riley tilted her head and scrunched her face like she was trying to remember. “Really, Dad? High school? I’m focused on what I did yesterday and what I’m going to do tomorrow. I’m not thinking about silly high school crushes.”

  Her dad turned calculating eyes on her. “That’s a big move to go from Maine to here. I’d watch him if I were you.”

  Riley laughed. It sounded fake to her ears, but her dad wouldn’t notice. “Ben? He loves what he does, and he’s good at it.”

  “Not what I’m talking about, girl. He’ll manipulate you into giving him what he wants.” His eyes narrowed. “You’re worth a lot. To a boy like that, that can barely make a mortgage on a rundown bungalow on the shady side of town, you’re a cash cow.”

  Even when she hadn’t known Ben all that well, she wouldn’t have thought for one second that he’d take something from her he hadn’t earned. Her dad’s words were intended to have the opposite effect, but she was more sure than ever that Ben didn’t care about her money.

  She knew better than to argue with her dad. “He’s going back to Maine when
we’re done here.” She turned and started off in a different direction.

  Instead of following, her dad walked closer to the truck Ben was working on. Riley stopped and watched with the fascinated horror one might have as they watched a car accident about to happen.

  “How many miles were on this motor, boy?”

  Riley cringed. Her stomach bucked and jumped.

  Ben’s head appeared beside the turbo. “Almost a million.”

  “When were the rods and mains done?” her dad barked another question.

  “At six hundred thousand,” Ben answered easily.

  “Is this a 550?”

  “It’s a 6NZ.”

  “How many of these have you done?”

  “At least a hundred.”

  Riley almost smiled. There. That should ease her dad’s mind.

  But he wasn’t finished. He leaned forward, and his voice lowered. “Stay away from my daughter. She’s your boss, and you can remember your place, or I’ll remind you of it with a nice, pretty pink slip.”

  Ben’s eyes slipped to hers. She swallowed and looked away.

  Ben’s gaze never moved from her face as he answered, “Yes, sir.” Of all the places in her life that she’d ever been, there was only one time and place that had been worse. Still, her mouth wouldn’t open. Her brain kept saying, just six months. In six months, this will all be past.

  Somehow that didn’t help, because even though she knew Ben was leaving, he deserved so much more than the treatment she’d just given him.

  Her dad moved away, and she followed. He stopped to talk to the other mechanic who was still working. He didn’t know the answers to her dad’s questions and had to stop working to go look them up. While her dad stood looking over his shoulder as the mechanic pulled the info up on the computer, Riley headed toward the parts room. It had been an unorganized mess when they’d come down last week, and she’d never remembered to ask Ben if he’d taken care of it.

  The door was unlocked, and she stepped in and flipped the light on to find neatly stacked shelves and parts clearly marked with numbers and codes. A complete difference from just one week ago. Someone had spent a lot of time fixing this. She made a note to thank Ben. She’d bring her dad in here just as soon as he was done grilling the other mechanic on the history of the rears in that truck.

  “So, you didn’t tell him.” Ben’s voice came from the doorway.

  She jerked her head around, her heart cramping painfully. He held onto the doorframe with one hand, his biceps bulging, his face an unreadable mask.

  “No.” Riley crossed her arms over her chest but didn’t say any more because she had no excuses other than the ones she’d already given him.

  “If you don’t want to tell him, I can do it.”

  “He doesn’t need to know. We can do this without him finding out.”

  His hand dropped from the doorframe, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I know this is a fake marriage and everything, but am I really such a lowlife that you’re too ashamed to admit to your dad that I’m nothing more than an employee that followed you down from Maine like some stupid puppy on a leash?”

  She held her hands out, hating the shadow of pain that flickered across his face. Hating that she was hurting the proud, strong man who stood with her every morning as the sun came up. “I’m sorry. I don’t want him to know. It’ll just be easier.”

  “Easier doesn’t equal better.”

  She put her hands on her hips. “We’re married right now because it was easier for you to fake a relationship than to admit to your family you lied.”

  He looked away, a vein popping in his forehead, his fist clenched.

  “Yeah,” he finally said. “You’re right. I guess though, when you’re around my family, I don’t treat you like some piece-of-trash stranger I barely know, lest anyone dare find out that we sit side by side on the porch of the house we share and watch the sunrise every morning.”

  The silence roared between them.

  Her mouth opened, and words that she didn’t want to say came out. “Fine. I shouldn’t be out there with you anyway. It won’t happen again.” Her heart cracked, but her voice was strong. “You need to...”

  Her dad’s head appeared behind Ben’s shoulder. Her eyes flickered to her dad then back to Ben. “Thank you for reminding me to show this improved layout to my dad. You can go back to work now.”

  Ben didn’t need to look at her dad to know he was there, and he gave a curt nod. “Yes, ma’am,” he said before turning and walking out.

  Riley got the feeling her heart went with him.

  ~~~

  Ben walked into his brother Tough’s shop early Saturday morning. After having Riley act like he was barely anything more than a dirty stranger to her dad yesterday, he’d stayed at the Coleman garage until after midnight finishing the motor he’d been working on and trying not to think about why her words had hurt him so bad. He’d left the house this morning before daylight.

  He wasn’t being fair to Riley. It wasn’t part of their deal to tell her dad. And if she could get away with not telling him, it would be so much better for her. In six months or so, when this all blew over, and he left, she’d still be here with her dad and their company. She’d have everything to deal with. Of course, her dad would probably be thrilled that she “broke up” with the lowly mechanic, but still, it would be a stigma for her for the rest of her life.

  He could ask himself over and over why he was pushing, but he knew. When she’d rejected him, she’d basically chosen her dad over Ben. Having her dad find out that she was married to him now would be a little bit of sweet satisfaction that would ease the sting of the past rejection. But that was his own satisfaction. It wasn’t fair to Riley.

  Her treatment in the shop yesterday in front of her dad had hurt him. She’d acted like he didn’t mean anything to her. Like he was simply an employee and nothing more. It smarted. Right in his chest in the place that felt such peace and contentment when he had his arms wrapped around her at the hospital when they visited his gram.

  His brain understood perfectly why Riley acted the way she did in the shop yesterday. His heart, on the other hand, didn’t understand a thing. It had always been stupid when it came to Riley.

  Ben shook his head. He had family to think about.

  The twins were thrilled to be developing relationships with the family they never knew they had. He could only support them making as many memories as possible with their gram.

  He had some time to make up for with his half brothers. Torque, he suspected, was a lot like himself. Turbo, laughing and happy, was everyone’s friend. Tough hadn’t said much in the hospital, and other than his protective attitude over his bubbly and friendly wife, Ben hadn’t been able to read him.

  Showing up at his auto garage at 5:30 on a Saturday morning was a colossally stupid idea. Tough was probably still snuggled up to his wife in bed wherever he lived. He’d probably wonder why Ben wasn’t in the same position. Not that he’d want to.

  That was a lie, and he tried not to lie to himself. She’d acted the way she had either out of habit or because she was afraid of her dad, or maybe some of both. It didn’t make it hurt less.

  When Ben tried Tough’s shop door, it opened, and the smell of strong coffee greeted him. Lights were on, and he could hear two men talking with raised voices.

  He strode over to a high makeshift table where two old men sat across from each other, a checkerboard between them. They were so engrossed in their argument that they didn’t notice him walk up. Tough was nowhere in sight.

  “Little early for an argument, isn’t it?”

  The men stopped talking and looked at him. One had a full head of snow-white hair; the other’s hair follicles had all migrated to his eyebrows.

  “That’s not Torque,” the one with hair said.

  “I didn’t say it was,” the other said in a combative tone.

  “I’m Torque’s brother, Ben.” Ben held his hand out to the guy
with hair. He stood slowly, like he needed time to get his joints working. His old, gnarled hand gripped Ben’s with a strength that surprised him.

  “I’m Al.” He pumped Ben’s hand a few times. “And that cantankerous old fellow is Mr. Sigel.”

  Mr. Sigel stood in the same slow manner and took Ben’s proffered hand. “I assume that you’re also Tough’s brother?”

  “Of course he is, you old coot. He said he was Torque’s brother, so that means he’s Tough’s too.”

  “Not necessarily,” Mr. Sigel said with a knowing nod. “Kids today do things different. I know a family that has five kids, and every one of them has a different set of parents.”

  Al shook his head. “Tell him you’re Tough’s brother too,” he said to Ben. “Can’t you see the eyes?”

  “I’m Tough’s brother too.” Ben kept talking before the men found something else to argue about. “Where’s Tough?”

  “He’s writing his column.”

  Ben shoved his hands in his pockets. Column? He didn’t ask because he didn’t want to admit he didn’t know anything at all about his brother.

  “He’s in the office over there.” Al threw his hand out toward a door that was closed but not shut tight.

  “Maybe he doesn’t want to be disturbed,” Mr. Sigel said in a simple tone, like Al was not quite all there.

  “Then he can say, ‘I don’t want to be disturbed,’” Al replied in the same tone.

  “But if he has to say that, then he was already disturbed.” Mr. Sigel used his black checker to jump two red checkers as he spoke.

  “Hey, wait. You can’t do that!” Al pointed at the checkerboard and started explaining why that move was illegal. He threatened to get the official checkers regulation manual out. Ben hadn’t realized there was such a thing.

  He backed away and turned toward the door. Neither man noticed, both of them trying to talk over the other with one of them claiming he had the regulation manual memorized.

  It was no wonder Tough hid in his office writing a “column” if that’s what he had to deal with out there.