Forbidden Rider: A Lost Saxons Novel #5

by Ames, Jessica

  “You end things with that man, Piper. Immediately. I mean it.”

  I tear out of her grasp and push past her to quickly gather up my things off the table near the door. I don’t bother saying goodbye to anyone. I just grab everything and rush for the exit. Grant’s eyes catch mine as I step through the door, narrowing, and I see the anger there, but he masks it quickly to resume his conversation with the assistant he’s talking to.

  Fuck him and my mother.

  As soon as I’m out on the street and the Manchester hustle and bustle hits me, reality crashes down around me.

  What have I just done?

  Have I just put me and Cami in danger?

  Is Grant capable of actually hurting us?

  I can deal with whatever he does to me, but Cami? If he touches her, I’ll kill him. I quickly shrug into my jacket and pull my bag over my shoulder. I need to get home. I need to warn her.

  I barely register the journey back across town, taking a cab, rather than the bus. I take the stairs two at a time and practically run up the hallway to the front door, fumbling to get the keys in the lock. By the time I get inside and shut the door behind me, I’m a panting, sweaty mess.

  Cami glances up from the sofa and the magazine she’s flipping through. Her brows immediately draw together.

  “What did they do to you? I knew I shouldn’t have let you go.” She unfurls her legs, coming to me quickly, her hands latching onto my shoulders. “P, you’re shaking.”

  “I think we’re in trouble.”

  “Why?” She rubs up my arms. “Come and sit, and tell me everything.”

  I let her lead me over to the sofa and push me on to it. My head drops into my hands as I let my despair over the situation overwhelm me. How do I explain to my best friend that my stepfather and mother are complete monsters?

  “Piper, talk to me.”

  I do. Haltingly, I tell her everything that’s been happening with Grant and Mum. She’s not too happy I didn’t tell her about the threats, and she’s even less happy that I’m dancing to Grant’s tune to protect her.

  “Grant is all talk, P. What can he do? He’s a paper-pushing suit.”

  “I don’t know,” I say, wrapping my hands tightly around the mug of coffee Cami presented me with during our conversation. I clearly seemed like I needed caffeine. “I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

  She scoffs. “Darling, I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. Besides, I’m not scared of your stepfather. He’s a pushover.”

  I shake my head. “He’s not. When he grabbed me that day, he hurt me. He’s more intimidating than he seems.”

  “Piper, Grant’s not stupid. He has to know it’s idiotic to threaten me if he wants to make his way to Westminster and a seat in parliament. I don’t have any loyalty to him, and I will blab to whoever will listen to me about his less than gentlemanly ways if he tries anything.” She smiles at me, trying to reassure me. “He’s about avoiding scandals, not creating them.”

  This is true.

  “But—”

  “No buts, Piper. He’s posturing, and I think your mother is in on it somewhere along the way. Don’t get me wrong, I think Grant did hurt her that day, but I don’t think she’s a hundred percent a victim either. Your parents have been pushing you around for years, controlling you, manipulating you. It has to stop.”

  I push my hair back from my face.

  “I know.”

  “You want to know your brother?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then know him. Fuck what they say.”

  “I don’t want them to interfere or make things difficult.”

  “Just because they’re your blood, doesn’t mean you owe them shit. The old adage, you can’t choose your family is true. You can’t, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with them. Josh is your brother and if you want to have a relationship with him, you should.”

  I mull over her words.

  “It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

  “Is it? I’m really not seeing how.”

  “Well, Josh may not want a relationship with me.” I let my head fall back against the cushions. “I did a terrible thing while I was in Kingsley,” I whisper.

  Her eyes slide towards me. “Do we need bail money?”

  “Is bail money a real thing?”

  She shrugs. “I have no idea, but I can get it if you do.”

  I huff out a breath. “I went there to see my dying brother, to fix things.”

  I don’t say anything else, not sure how to explain my behaviour. Cami straightens on the sofa, one hand clutching her coffee mug, the other fiddling with the pendant she always wears around her throat.

  “That’s not a terrible thing, Piper. It’s what most sisters would do.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Darling, I’m not keeping up here. You’re going to have to help me out. Didn’t things go well with Josh? I was under the impression you mended bridges, that you were talking and getting to know one another.”

  “Things went as well as could be expected—better, really. He’s messaged me since I’ve been back to make sure I’m okay. We’re… bonding, I suppose.”

  “Right… so…?”

  “Visiting Josh isn’t the terrible thing I did.”

  I know Cami won’t judge me, she never does, but even so, saying this, feels so wrong.

  “Girl, just spit it out. You’re killing me. Did you sign up to their gang? Are you now a sworn in sister?”

  “I have no idea what any of that means.”

  “What did you do, P?”

  I nibble on my lip before I blurt, “I slept with one of Josh’s friends.”

  Her eyes flare and then she grins. And I mean she beams. “Shut the front door!”

  I groan. “What am I going to do?”

  “Firstly, you’re going to explain why you’ve waited all this time to spill this to me. Then you’re going to tell me everything.”

  “Well, there isn’t really a good time to say ‘oh, by the way, I’m a huge slut’, is there?”

  Cami rolls her eyes at me. “You’re absolutely not a slut. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy sex life.”

  “No, but there is something wrong with sleeping with your brother’s friend while said brother is lying in the hospital on death’s door.”

  “Quit being a drama queen. Who is this guy?”

  My mouth tastes of ash as the guilt settles in me. “Jem. His name’s Jem.”

  “Is he hot?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at me.

  I take a long sip of my coffee. “That’s not the point at all.”

  “Well, is he?”

  I click my fingers in front of her face, bringing her out of her dreamy state. “Cami, focus. What do I do?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I don’t know. The guilt is tearing me apart.”

  “Honey, why do you feel guilty?”

  “Because he’s Josh’s friend and he’s off limits. I’m off limits to Josh’s friends.”

  Cami scoffs. “What is this? The nineteen-hundreds? Off limits? You can date who you want.”

  “I don’t want to date him!” I squeak. “Jesus, he’s in a motorcycle club, for Christ’s sake.” Although I did enjoy being on the back of his bike more than I would like to admit, and I really do like seeing him on the back of his bike.

  And I really love his tattoos…

  “So, you’re just fuck buddies?”

  “Yes. No. I don’t know. We’ve only slept together twice.”

  She stares at me. “Except you left Kingsley without him and now you’re pining over him.” Her face breaks into a grin. “That’s why you’ve been so fucking glum since you got back. You miss him!”

  “I’m not pining over him.”

  I am, and I do miss him. I’m not ready to let him go, but I can’t have him either. Being with him makes things difficult between me and Josh, between Jem and Josh, and the last thing I want to
do is destroy their friendship.

  “Tell me everything from the start.”

  I do, leaving nothing out. When I’m done, she narrows her eyes at me.

  “Okay, let me get this straight,” Cami says, rubbing at her brow. “You and this Jem chap have off the charts sex twice while you’re in town, then you just leave without a word and ghost him faster than you can say ‘Casper’, and you don’t think that’s a problem?”

  I consider her words with a frown.

  “Of course it’s a problem, but what else can I do?”

  She closes her eyes, as if asking the universe for patience. “Continue having off the charts sex? Maybe explore things further with him?”

  “And risk my brother disowning me again?”

  “Piper, you don’t know that will happen. Josh might be happy the two of you are together.”

  This makes me laugh, but there’s no humour behind it. “He practically threatened to castrate Weed if he went near me. He doesn’t want me involved with his brothers. I’m not good enough.”

  Admitting that fear out loud eases some of the heaviness in my chest.

  “Bollocks,” she snaps. “You’re more than good enough. Most likely it’s the other way around and he doesn’t want his friends to have their grubby paws on you.”

  “I doubt it.”

  She lets out a frustrated breath. “Honey, he’s just flexing the big brother muscles, that’s all. If you like this man you should just tell your brother and stake your claim.”

  Stake my claim?

  “This isn’t the wild west, Cami. There’s no claiming. It was sex. Nothing more.”

  And that’s all it’s ever going to be.

  “Darling, I don’t think it was ‘just sex’ for you or for him. From what you’re telling me, he’s interested in you, and you’re certainly interested in him.”

  I stare at her a beat before I laugh. “You’re crazy. The last thing he is, is interested in me. I’m just something to pass the time. We didn’t exactly get off to the best start. You do remember me telling you how much he hated me in the beginning?”

  “There’s a fine line between love and hate.”

  “Jem and I would never work. I haven’t made it secret that I don’t like his little gang of leather and denim wearing bikers.”

  “Are they really that bad?”

  I take a sip of my coffee while I consider her question. “No,” I admit. “They’ve been nothing but gracious, to be frank, although Jem is an enormous man-child.”

  “So, what’s the problem?”

  “Apart from the obvious? That my brother doesn’t want me dating his friends?”

  “Well, he’ll get over that.”

  “I lied to him.”

  “Yes, you did. You should have been forthcoming, but it’s not like anyone died.”

  She doesn’t understand how Josh thinks, and trying to explain it is pointless, so I try a different tact.

  “What about the fact Josh got shot and nearly died? The Club isn’t exactly safe. That’s the kind of life I would have with Jem—wondering if he’s going to get hurt, or arrested, or worse. Dead. I don’t want it, Cam. I want normal. I want boring. Suburban. That makes him off limits to me, because I’ll never have that with a man like Jem—even if we were at that stage, which we’re not because all we’ve done is shag twice.”

  Although I’m lying to myself. I’m already in deep with him. Cami is right. I am pining for Jem and I have been since I got back to Manchester. That hollow, cold emptiness in my gut that I thought was fear over Grant’s antics is actually the loss of Jem.

  Yikes, when did I fall this hard? Part of me thinks I might just walk through hell to have him, but I keep this to myself.

  “I thought that was because of a domestic abuse thing, not the Club.”

  “Yeah, it was, but that doesn’t mean the Club is safe either.”

  Although it has softened me somewhat towards these men. They stepped in to help a woman who was clearly in danger, without caring about their own safety. My brother took a bullet to protect Beth. None of this sounds like the behaviour of men who are inherently bad to the bone, but the Club still isn’t innocent. No one has said anything outright, but reading between the lines, I get the impression Simon Wilson was made to disappear. Knowing Jem probably had a hand in that makes me feel conflicted.

  On the one hand, I know the terrible things that man inflicted on several people I’ve come to care about—including the years of abuse he put the sweet, kind, caring Liv through. But on the other… vigilante justice isn’t the way to deal with things, is it?

  “So… what’s the problem?” Cami repeats.

  “They’re still outlaws, Cam. He’s still an outlaw. I don’t want to spend my life worrying about police and prison visits.”

  She waves a hand at me, sloshing her coffee in the mug. “Darling, half the people we know are bloody criminals.”

  “Well, Grant has certainly proved he’s not a saint with recent events,” I grumble.

  I’d be amazed if Grant gives two shits about the people he serves in his local area. Everything Grant Hollander does is for publicity. He’ll get down and dirty in the local allotments because it looks good in the papers, he’ll help walk the kids to school in the morning because it makes a good news segment, he’ll visit the elderly in care homes because the media lap it up. Does he enjoy those things? Doubtful. Grant likes golf, relaxing beach holidays and crosswords. Infants annoy him, he despises children and he thinks old people are a drain on his budgets. He would never say these things, of course—at least not outside the privacy of our family home. His entire life is a show he puts on, and I’m a part of that event.

  Cami’s expression turns serious. “Grant is full of shit. He’s not going to do anything to you or to me.”

  I don’t know if Cami is right, but I’m not sure we should risk it. I’ve never seen this violent side of him before. Honestly, it’s unpredictable and that puts me on edge.

  I open my mouth to counter her words, but before I can say anything, a knock on the door has both our heads swinging towards it.

  “If that’s your mum or Grant…” Cami starts.

  I push off the sofa, but Cami jumps up, too, and we both head to the door together. We fight over the peep hole, but she gets to it first.

  “Holy shit!”

  “What?” I demand.

  “Did we order Thor’s twin?” When she pulls back her eyes are wide.

  What?

  I roll to my toes and glance through the peep hole. And my stomach flips. On the other side of the door is Jem.

  Chapter Twenty

  I consider not opening the door, but Cami takes this option out of my hands by reaching for the handle. I stop her, and she gives me a questioning look.

  “That’s Jem,” I whisper.

  Her mouth falls open. “That’s your hot guy?”

  My head bobs and my heart races. “What’s he doing here, Cam?”

  “Uh, I imagine wanting to see you. Piper, you left town without a word. He probably wants to find out why.”

  I did leave town really quite abruptly, but considering we were not even dating, it’s not like I needed to tell him, right? What on earth can I even say to explain that? She gets a dreamy look on her pale face.

  “It’s really quite romantic.”

  “It’s not romantic,” I snap. “It’s ridiculous. He shouldn’t be here. And I didn’t leave without a good reason. I left because Grant was threatening bodily harm to us both. What choice did I have?”

  My best friend considers me carefully, tugging absently at the end of her auburn braid. “I’m not saying you didn’t have a good reason, darling, but he doesn’t know that. From his perspective you hooked up, had your way with him, and then ran away. Maybe you owe him some explanation.”

  Her description makes me flush. It sounds so callous. “That isn’t what happened.”

  “I’m not saying you did a bad thing, P, but maybe you d
o need to give him some closure on the situation, explain why you left.”

  I shake my head. “No way in hell am I telling him that. He’ll blab to Josh and they’ll both murder Grant.”

  Especially if they learn my stepfather put his hands on me.

  “Would that be a bad thing?” she mutters darkly.

  I smack her arm. “Absolutely it would.”

  “So, you’d rather look like the bad guy here, than tell the truth?” Her whispered voice does nothing to mask the disappointment in her tone.

  “I’d rather my brother and the bloke I’m having casual sex with don’t end up in jail.”

  “Piper, lies are what got you into this mess in the first place.”

  When did she become all Miss Wisdom?

  “Don’t become sensible on me. I need you to be Cami, right now. Not the cleaned-up version of her.”

  Her eyes nearly roll out of her pretty head. “Quit being ridiculous.”

  Knuckles rap on the door again, and we both freeze like naughty kids before our eyes snap in that direction. Cami starts to move towards the door.

  “What are you doing?” I demand, sounding strangled.

  “Well, we can’t leave him standing out there.”

  I nod vehemently. Absolutely we can. “No.”

  She shakes free of my grip and tugs the handle down. All protests die on my lips the moment I see him. He looks… well, magnificent. I want to run to him, touch him, but I keep my feet still, forcing myself to remain locked to the floor.

  He isn’t quite so reserved. His eyes move up my body in a way that heats me from head to toe and my lips part as I almost pant. My reaction to him is visceral, a primal response I can no more control than he can. My chest feels heavy, tight, and my heart is moving with the speed of a racing train the moment I lay eyes on him.

  “Holy hotness,” Cami murmurs.

  This breaks me out of my Jem fog and I shake myself. “Uh, what are you doing here, Jem?”

  His face becomes hard at my words.

  “It’s nice to see you too, angel.” His voice drips with sarcasm that has me internally wincing.

  Maybe I should have been a little less acerbic.

  Cami leans around me and holds out a hand. “I’m Cami—the best friend. You hurt her, I’ll kill you. I don’t care if you’re a big tough guy. I’ll dump your body in the nearest pig pen and let them devour you. Treat my girl right. She’s amazing and she deserves good things.” She reaches for her bag near the door. “I’m going to give you crazy kids some space to work out your… ‘issues’. I’ll be at Spense’s if you need me.”