Rebecca's Bouquet

by Lisa Jones Baker

  Beth sniffled. “You have, Rebecca. Thanks for listening.” Beth’s voice went hoarse with emotion. “Daniel’s the center of my universe. I’ll do anything to get him through this. Please pray that he makes it.”

  “I do. Every night. You’re a strong person, Beth.”

  Beth gave a sad shake of her head. “Not as tough as I’d like. Every morning, I wake up afraid of losing him. When I’m tired, it scares me even more.”

  Beth took a deep breath. “I want to make him the happiest man in the world. And there’s something else.”

  Rebecca glanced at Beth.

  “You know William better than anyone, Rebecca. Can you think of a way for the two of us to be close?”

  Chapter Five

  The early July sun was setting as Rebecca stuck Mamma’s letter in the mailbox in front of the Conrad home. As she closed the lid, William pulled up the red flag.

  In silence, they made their way up the winding sidewalk to the front porch, where they sat on the oversized swing. As they started swinging, Rebecca closed her eyes while the warm, gentle breeze caressed her face. When she opened her lids, she let out a small, satisfied sigh and smiled at William as the iron chains holding the swing to the porch ceiling creaked.

  “When’s Katie coming back?”

  Rebecca told him. The comments from Katie and Natalie concerning Daniel wanting William to stay in Indiana to help with the business loomed in her thoughts like a heavy dark cloud on a sunny afternoon. Rebecca had thought and thought about that potent piece of information. She wanted to know if it was true.

  The only way to know was to ask William. She’d put it off long enough and decided a straightforward approach. “William, you and I have always been open with each other.”

  He turned so that their gazes locked. Surprise flickered across his face. His jaw was set as they regarded each other in silence. In front of them, the setting sun slipped farther into the vast area of gray until a kaleidoscope of colors melted into a haze. Crickets chirped in the bushes behind them.

  William’s eyes took on that metallic appearance that Rebecca loved. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “What’s on your mind?”

  Rebecca related the rumor. “Is it true?”

  William gave a firm shake of his head. “That’s the first I’ve heard of it.” He hesitated. “It’s a strange comment.”

  “Why do you say that? You certainly wouldn’t be the first father-and-son team to work together.”

  “To be honest, I can’t imagine my dad even thinking about inviting me to be his partner.” He raised his arms in frustration. “We can barely discuss the weather. The last thing I feel toward him is that father-son type of relationship I’ve always dreamed about.”

  He paused. “I’m glad he’s okay. I can’t wait till he’s out of the hospital. Maybe we can get a new start when he comes home.”

  “We haven’t been here long, William. Have you really tried telling your father what’s in your heart?”

  “Not really. We’ve been so busy.”

  “We’ve been here over two weeks. Now that we’ve settled in, I think you should sit down with your dad and talk to him. When he’s a little better, of course.” Rebecca added, “I mean really discuss what’s on your mind. Like you do with me.”

  William paused. “And tell him what?”

  Rebecca giggled. “It will come to you, William. It can’t be that difficult. Just be yourself. Be honest. That’s the only way for your dad to get to know you.”

  “It’s a little late for that.” Resentment edged his voice.

  She shook her head as their feet met the porch floor before they pushed the swing back into the air. Rebecca pressed her palms against her thighs as she considered William’s comment. She glanced at him. “It’s never too late, William. Be happy for this opportunity to start over. Maybe his heart attack will turn out to be a blessing in disguise.”

  William cocked an amused brow. “I wish I had your positive outlook.”

  “I’m fortunate to have spent time with positive people.”

  “Like Old Sam?”

  At the thought of Old Sam, Rebecca’s heart warmed. She could almost hear him grumbling while he built beautiful hope chests.

  “You miss him, don’t you?”

  Rebecca gave a slow, thoughtful nod.

  William chuckled. “I’ll bet he misses you, too. Between you, Rachel, and Annie, he’s one spoiled man.”

  Rebecca paused as she considered William’s question. “I enjoy being with Old Sam. It’s funny, but he inspires me to dream.”

  “Don’t I inspire you?”

  Rebecca squeezed his hand. “Of course.” Several moments later, she went on. “I feel sorry for Old Sam.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he misses his wife.”

  “Jah. I’m sure he does.”

  “That’s why he busies himself in the barn.”

  “It’s a good thing. He supplies most of the town with hope chests.”

  Rebecca laughed. “I suppose. You know what I really love about him though?”

  “What?”

  “Listening to his advice.”

  “He must know every proverb that ever existed.”

  Rebecca nodded in agreement. “He’s a wise man.”

  “Have you put anything in the chest yet?”

  Rebecca pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Just notes.”

  “Notes?”

  For some reason, Rebecca didn’t want to refer to it as a diary. That word sounded too secret and confidential. “I write down my thoughts at night. It helps me to reflect on the day.”

  The breeze turned a notch cooler. They turned at the sound of the front door opening.

  “I thought you’d like some iced tea.” Beth stepped out onto the front patio and handed each of them a glass.

  “Thanks.” Rebecca took a drink. “This has got to be the world’s best-tasting tea.”

  Beth winked. “It’s China Mist. Shipped straight from Arizona.”

  William had already downed half of his. “Arizonans sure know how to make tea.”

  Rebecca glanced up at Beth. “Any word on Daniel?”

  Beth gave a half nod. “He’s hanging in there.” With a light laugh, she added, “I just know that one of these days, he’ll be back in the shop. And I’ll breathe a sigh of relief when that time comes.”

  She stepped back inside. The door clicked shut.

  “It must be frustrating for her. She loves your dad so much.”

  William finished his tea and placed the empty glass on the ledge next to the swing. “I won’t argue that.” He turned to her. “How about we check out the Conrad property. Are you up for a walk?”

  “Sure.”

  They stood at the same time. William motioned ahead of him. “After you, Miss Rebecca.”

  She dipped her head. “Thank you, Mr. Conrad.”

  As they made their way toward the back of the property, Rebecca considered all of the amenities that Beth and Daniel had. Still, Rebecca missed the simplicity of her home.

  In the back of her mind, Katie’s comment flitted back and forth, tormenting Rebecca until she could think of nothing else. When she’d asked William about it, he had responded. And she knew, without a doubt, that he was telling the truth.

  But if both Katie and Natalie had heard that Daniel was about to offer a partnership, there must be something to it. At that thought, Rebecca’s throat tightened.

  She hesitated before revealing her thoughts. “William, what if Daniel did offer you a partnership?”

  “Here in Indiana?”

  She nodded.

  The only sound was crickets chirping. As Rebecca awaited an answer, her pulse picked up speed. She clasped her hands in front of her.

  She had counted on a future with William. In Arthur. Before coming to Indiana, she’d never even considered anything different. She didn’t doubt William’s love for her. Yet the uncertainty of what was to come made her very uneasy.


  William finally broke the silence. “Rebecca, to be honest, I’ve never considered partnering with Dad.” He pushed out a long, deep sigh. “I suppose it would be wonderful to work together, side by side, if we were close, like a lot of kids are with their folks. But with us, that isn’t the case.”

  The seriousness that edged his voice deepened to border on resentment. “Don’t forget that you’re talking to a guy who’s never even gone fishing with his father.”

  “I’m sorry.” Rebecca darted him an encouraging wink. “There are second chances.” When he didn’t reply, she dropped the subject. William’s relationship with Daniel was a sore subject.

  At the same time, Rebecca noted something that prompted a combination of uncertainty and uneasiness in her chest. She’d asked William if he would like to partner with his dad. And in the end, he hadn’t answered.

  *

  Three days later, Daniel was home from the hospital. On a lawn chair, William watched Rebecca plant tiny petunias in a row. Yesterday’s conversation played in his mind. A partnership with his dad? He eyed the man next to him and smiled in relief. It was good to have him back. According to the doctors, time was the key to recovery.

  With a proud grin, William nudged his father’s arm. “She’s the most meticulous person I’ve ever met. Look. She even uses a yardstick to measure the distance between the holes.”

  Daniel gave a slight nod. “She’s a fine girl, William. She’ll make a good wife.”

  Daniel’s voice was weaker than usual. William had hoped the warmth and sunshine would help him to feel better. But sadness filled his eyes.

  “She’s been looking forward to doing this for you. Even if it is already the middle of summer.”

  William turned his attention back to Rebecca and smiled as she tapped her garden spatula against the soil. As he took in her soft features, he thought about their future together and of the children they would have.

  But a sudden concern prompted him to frown. He pressed his lips together for a moment and considered the circumstances. He turned.

  There was so much he wanted to tell the man he’d spent a large part of his life missing. Things he’d yearned to say for years. But how could he? He really didn’t know his dad well enough to bare his soul.

  Perhaps the truth would please him. William cleared his throat.

  “I’d like to stay close.”

  For long moments, they stared at each other. William felt an embarrassing blush in his cheeks. His heart pumped a little harder than usual. Salty moisture stung his eyes, and he blinked back tears. No expression from his dad. A combination of disappointment and uncertainty fought inside of William’s gut until it ached. For years, he’d kept his thoughts to himself.

  With a newfound determination, he squared his shoulders and continued in a low, emotional voice. “I’ve been without you too long. I want you and Beth to move back home.” He hesitated. “Where you belong.”

  Daniel gave a slow shake of his head. “Can’t … can’t do it, son. I’m an outcast.” He paused. “Shunned.” He stumbled over his words. “They, well, you know … that … they don’t forget things like that.”

  “But Arthur … it isn’t all Amish.” William, too, fell over his words. Why was talking to his dad so difficult?

  William knew the answer. It was hard because he wanted his father’s love and approval. Sought it with all of his heart. In spite of what his father had done, William would give anything to know his dad loved and cared for him.

  “It wouldn’t work.”

  William raised a brow. “What did you say?”

  “You heard me, son. It … it just wouldn’t work.”

  William fought the bitterness that filled his chest. He sat up a little straighter. “I always wanted to be like the other kids and have a dad.”

  “You had me.” His tone was defensive.

  “No, I didn’t. We didn’t live in the same house. Not even in the same state! In fact, I barely saw you.”

  Daniel squeezed his lids for a moment and shook his head.

  William suddenly recognized he’d made a huge mistake. Daniel was ill. Now wasn’t the time to discuss regrets.

  William tried a more gentle approach. “When Rebecca and I raise our family, how can you play an active role in the lives of our children? Don’t you want to be with us?”

  Long moments passed. Finally, Daniel placed his palm on William’s thigh. “Why don’t you stay here and be my business partner?”

  *

  Three goals. It was already the end of the first week of July, and Rebecca hadn’t heeded the bishop’s request. There was so much to do. How could she decide which things were the most important?

  As she sat on her bed, the cool night breeze floated in through the bedroom screen. She loved summer evenings. There was something soothing and comforting about crickets chirping and tiny lightning bugs blinking in the dark.

  She enjoyed sleeping with the windows open. The Conrads kept the house cooler than Rebecca preferred. But Beth had given her permission to open her window at night.

  Rebecca frowned as she recalled her advice to Beth. Rebecca didn’t know if Beth could ever win William’s approval, but Rebecca had offered a suggestion. She’d recommended that Beth teach William to drive. William definitely had expressed an interest in the BMW.

  Who knew? Maybe there was a chance for Beth and William to be close. It gave Rebecca a warm feeling inside to know that Beth intended to make an effort.

  Smiling satisfaction, Rebecca pulled out her scripture book and crossed her legs. Beth had read Mamma’s gift, front to back. Mamma would be pleased.

  Getting comfortable, Rebecca lay back with two pillows supporting her. She bent her knees and clasped her hands behind her head as she looked up at the ceiling.

  The air smelled of eucalyptus. She breathed in the sweet smell and closed her eyes in enjoyment.

  Although she loved Beth and Daniel, she couldn’t wait to go home. But Rebecca realized that this experience was helping her to grow as a person. She had already learned that life was more complicated than she’d ever imagined.

  She now faced issues she’d never experienced in Illinois. For instance, the strained relationship between William and Daniel. Beth’s regrets and concerns. Natalie. The anonymous message. Beth’s encouragement to pursue a profession. And Rebecca’s forbidden desire to do it. The rumor that Daniel wanted to partner with William.

  “Oh.” Rebecca moaned in distress. All of these issues had materialized from living with the English. An uneasy feeling swept through her as she considered Beth’s confession that she couldn’t survive without her husband.

  She sympathized with William’s step-mamma. The doctors had released Daniel, but he was still fragile. What if Daniel didn’t make it? His doctors hadn’t sent him home with a warranty.

  Frustrated, Rebecca rolled her eyes and silently scolded herself. She shouldn’t think that way. Her mother had raised her to focus on the positive. Old Sam stressed looking at her glass half full. To pray and to have faith.

  But she was fully aware that prayers weren’t always answered the way a person wanted. At least, that’s what the bishop had said. It was important to believe, but it was also necessary to have enough strength to deal with reality. And there was no denying that Daniel was very ill.

  Rebecca sighed as she held her handmade book. While she flipped through the pages, her thoughts drifted to Beth. And William.

  She hadn’t known Beth long, but Rebecca felt a strong bond with Daniel’s wife. Beth was an open, honest woman who spoke her mind. Rebecca admired the way Beth struggled to accept obstacles and deal with them.

  In a way, Rebecca did the same. She considered the changes in her own life and her longing to do what was right. She imagined herself in Beth’s position.

  Their situations were similar, really. Beth worried about losing Daniel. And Rebecca fretted about losing William. But why? Even though he hadn’t indicated a problem with their relationship, ci
rcumstances had driven him to change.

  Needless to say, being English certainly wasn’t a hardship. Rebecca admitted a liking to the amazing round porcelain bathtub that oozed warm, bubbly water from the side jets.

  But Rebecca was an Amish girl, heart and soul. She still planned to follow in her mother’s footsteps. Even though she had been exposed to easy-to-get-used-to comforts, she would eventually leave them behind, and they would become nothing more than nice memories.

  But could William let them go? The question nagged at Rebecca. She frowned as she shifted her weight and rested on her elbow. Thoughtfully, she placed the prayer book in front of her.

  After dinner, William had played with the television remote to find the ESPN channel. Rebecca hadn’t missed the happy expression on his face as he had flipped through the channels.

  And his interest in Beth’s car was obvious. He hadn’t said so, but Rebecca had watched him check out the interior on more than one occasion.

  She couldn’t stop his interest in these un-Amish amenities. But what if he began to like the English way of life too much? What if they grew apart?

  Desperation swept up her arms and landed in her shoulders. She rolled them to rid herself of the uncomfortable sensation. What would she do?

  She shifted onto her back and rested the book on her stomach.

  She’d calmly assured William’s stepmom that Beth would find strength to carry on. By the same token, if Rebecca lost William, she would need to heed her own advice. But how? She was expected to marry, bear children, and work side by side with her husband. Amish rules weren’t etched in stone, but she knew them by heart.

  Rebecca planned to marry the man she loved. But what if circumstances forced them apart? Would she replace him?

  She didn’t believe she could marry someone just for the sake of producing children. She needed love.

  Her shoulders tensed as she thought of Daniel possibly asking William to become his business partner. As she considered William and what he wanted, that familiar scripture about love being unselfish once again came to mind.

  Nonetheless, the thought still brought an ache to her chest. Not because she was selfish, but because of the significant change in their lives such an offer would cause if William accepted.