Halfway Perfect

by Julie Cross

  “Are you sure Wes has never brought up the subject?” Hugo says, probably asking Alex.

  Great. Just great.

  “Wes’s former clients are none of my concern,” Alex says. “Just so long as he keeps booking jobs like this for me, I don’t give a shit who else he’s worked with.”

  “Spoken like a true diva,” Hugo says. “You know, I might have done her makeup once, now that I think about it.”

  Oh God. I’m so not going in there now. No way.

  I turn my back to Janessa. “I forgot one of the bags. I’ll just go grab it.”

  Janessa catches my arm before I have a chance to run away. “Come on. Let’s get this over with. You can’t hide out all week, and frankly, I’m going to get sick of hearing them whisper about you for the next four days.”

  My eyes must be huge right now, but my feet move in the direction Janessa’s tugging me. As soon as we enter the RV, Hugo’s voice cuts off. He’s standing in the middle of the nearly packed room. Alex and Elana are standing together on the far side of the room, and the producer, Russ, is near the door.

  Janessa’s hands land on my shoulders, pointing me toward the center of the room before releasing me. “I’d like all of you to meet Eve Nowakowski. My assistant. She’s a student at Columbia. She takes decent photos, though her approach is a bit unconventional. She has a lot of technique problems to work out, but I’d say she has potential as a photographer. So whatever else you’ve heard about her, let’s focus on the present, understood?”

  Nobody moves or says anything for what feels like ten minutes but is probably only three seconds. My face is so hot it must be red as a tomato.

  Finally, Alex claps his hands together. “Sounds like a plan to me. And being the diva that we all know I am…” He crosses the small space, moving toward me. “I’m going to remind you that my contract states the photographer or the photographer’s assistant is required to get my approval on the shots for today before you send them on to the designer.” He turns me around to face the door. I seem to have lost my ability to move without direction. “I’d like to do that now, if you don’t mind.”

  The air outside of the RV feels so good on my hot face. Alex’s hands drop from my shoulders and I spin around to face him. “Nobody’s contract allows for that kind of clause.”

  He shrugs. “I’m sure someone’s does.”

  I’m still in shock, so I don’t notice Alex looking slightly nervous until he says, “It wasn’t me. I didn’t tell them anything.”

  “What?” I shake my head, mentally catching up to him. “Oh…yeah, I didn’t think it was you. It was only a matter of time, right?”

  We’ve put some distance between us and the RV, and now Alex looks like he’s fighting laughter. “It was Elana.”

  I glance at him to see if he’s serious. “No way.”

  “Apparently a handful of models inspired her to leave home and pursue her dream, and one of those people is Eve Castle.”

  I start laughing so hard I have to lean against the wall to keep myself from falling over. Talk about ironic. When Alex and I both stop laughing, I look over at him and hesitate before asking, “Were you lying about Wes? Has he ever mentioned me?”

  Any hint of a smile or amusement drops from his face. “No, he hasn’t.”

  I don’t know if I should feel glad or upset, but I end up feeling a little of both.

  “We’re all business,” Alex says as if sensing that I might take this personally. “We would never sit around and hash out his past clients. We just don’t go there, you know?”

  “I know.” Needing a change of subject, I point a finger at the RV. “Thanks for getting me out of there. And for what you said earlier. You’re not as arrogant and self-involved as I falsely assumed.”

  Okay, so I never really thought Alex was self-involved, but I don’t think he’s going to experience an ego decline anytime soon, and there’s no need for me to go out of my way and boost him up even higher.

  A smug expression fills his face before he turns his back to me. “See you tomorrow, Eve.”

  I stand there for a long time, watching everyone pack up and leave. A long, black car with tinted windows pulls up for Alex, and then another identical yet separate car arrives for Elana. She glances in my direction and gives me a small wave before sliding in the car.

  A rush of emotions I can’t quite identify floods over me as I think of her looking at my picture in a magazine all the way from France. I remember doing the same thing at her age. And I also remember getting into dozens of black cars, closing the door, and finding Wes seated in the back, usually on his cell phone waving at the driver to pull away before anyone could see him. At first it was hot and exciting, sitting there waiting for him to hang up, knowing we would be all over each other the second he did.

  Then later, the walls between us and the rest of the world were so thick, I could sit right beside him in that car and feel more lonely than I’d ever felt in my life.

  In the beginning, if I dropped into my seat, exhausted and frustrated, Wes would rub my shoulders and tell me I was beautiful and that he’d make sure I was a huge star by the time eighteen came around. But after the excitement wore off, he’d start listing off all the things I needed to do to improve my stamina…stay away from carbs…why do you think so many models smoke…maybe if you hadn’t stayed up so late studying for classes that you don’t even need to take.

  Wes hated that I wouldn’t drop the correspondence courses when I turned sixteen.

  “Why do you need to go to college, Evie? You’re a professional. You need to focus on your career.”

  Once, he threw my SAT prep book into the kitchen sink, not knowing it was full of soapy water. I had to buy a new one to replace it. After that, I hid all my books and never studied in front of him. We went a long time without fighting after I made that decision. The break from arguing was such a relief that I almost did drop my classes.

  Wes and I were made to do nothing but destroy each other, and love wasn’t enough to fix that. Maybe love is never enough. Maybe relationships need to be based on practical matches and common goals.

  Or maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I’m not compatible with anyone.

  I spot Janessa and Russ walking toward me, and I pull myself from the wall. I’m still technically on the unpaid clock.

  “Well, that went well,” Janessa says and I don’t know if she’s talking about the drama from a few minutes ago or the day as a whole.

  “Sorry about the gossip session earlier,” Russ says to me. “We’re glad to have you here, Eve. You’ll bring a unique perspective for sure. And it’s great to hear your recovery went well.”

  Right. My recovery. From drug addiction.

  I suppress a laugh. “Uh…thanks.”

  Russ leaves me alone with Janessa. We both stand there in silence for a minute, and then she says, “I suppose you could have started next week. I’m doing a series on statues in New York City.”

  I laugh. “Too late now.”

  She gives me a hard pat on the arm. “It’s good for you. Builds character.”

  A few minutes later, I’m back in the bumpy van. As we pull away, I get another text from Alex.

  ALEX: News has spread to Nebraska.

  I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I decide to remove his real name from my phone before replying. It takes me a second to label him. Usually, I don't put real names in my phone. Steph is Reese Witherspoon—short, blond, curvy, and outgoing…it fits. The RA for my dorm is Bella Swan because she shakes her head a lot when she talks and she trips over everything.

  Alex gets labeled Calvin Klein.

  ME: Nebraska?

  CALVIN KLEIN: My parents. My hometown.

  Alex is from Nebraska? That might be worse than Indiana.

  ME: Which news has spread? The fake g/f? />
  CALVIN KLEIN: Yep. Except not the fake part.

  ME: This is bad?

  CALVIN KLEIN: Haven’t decided yet.

  ME: Are you going to tell them it’s fake?

  CALVIN KLEIN: Too risky. Neighborhood gossip has traveled all the way to NYC before.

  ME: But if you told them not to tell…?

  CALVIN KLEIN: Doesn’t matter. They won’t get that it’s important to keep it a secret.

  ME: You don’t have to explain to me. My parents are selfish a-holes too.

  CALVIN KLEIN: They aren’t assholes. They’re normal. Normal people don’t get this world.

  ME: I get it. You shouldn’t tell them. You’re right.

  CALVIN KLEIN: Where do you take a 14 yr old on a date?

  ME: PG-13 Movie? Chuck e cheese?

  CALVIN KLEIN: Ha-ha. We think alike.

  The van stops, and I tuck my phone away before climbing out. It feels special to be one of only a few people to know Alex’s secret. That’s probably why he texted me. Who else besides Elana is he going to be able to vent to?

  Chapter 10: Alex

  October 10, 7:30 a.m.

  “I really need a job.”

  Eve is sitting on the floor beside the makeup area, fiddling with her camera while Hugo works on getting me ready for today’s shoot.

  “Aren’t you working right now?” I ask Eve.

  “A paying job,” she says. “My phone bill is due, and I don’t want to have to cancel my data plan. I’m way too dependent on it.”

  One of the interns is sitting on Eve’s other side, and Finley is beside the intern. She’s probably talking to them and not Hugo and me. I’ve got to learn to butt out and not act like I’m always listening to everything Eve Nowakowski has to say. Even if I am.

  “I hear Sears is casting for their spring catalog right now,” Hugo says.

  Eve looks at him like he’s gone completely mad. I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not. But at least I’m not the only one eavesdropping.

  “Don’t knock Sears,” Finley says, flipping through a magazine. “I’ve booked a ton of jobs with them, and the money does add up.”

  “Not a modeling job,” Eve says to Hugo. “A normal college student job.”

  “I’ve been babysitting my professor’s kids,” the intern girl says to Eve. “It works out well, because I don’t have to commit to a schedule. It’s whenever they need me, and the kids basically never come out of their rooms. I get all my studying done. It’s about as cushy as it gets.”

  “Clearly these kids are much older than my five-year-old brothers,” Finley says. “Or they’re on heavy sedatives. I can hardly read a recipe when I’m watching them, let alone get any amount of studying done.”

  Eve straightens up and pulls the camera from her eye. “I can babysit. Do you know any other professors seeking child care?”

  The girl shakes her head and stands up. “I’ll keep an eye open though.”

  Eve looks disappointed. “Thanks.”

  The camera is against her eye again. My gaze travels across the room to see what her current subject might be. Or in this case, who.

  Elana is lying on her stomach on the floor, books open in front of her. She must be doing schoolwork. Guess no one is concerned about her academic level tipping people off that she’s not eighteen?

  Hugo has just finished with me, so I walk quietly behind Eve, squatting down to see her pictures. She takes a whole bunch of shots of Elana’s hand—the one holding the pencil—and then several more of her profile. With her hair falling forward, you’d never know it was Elana in those pictures.

  “You’re gonna get in trouble again,” I whisper and Eve jumps.

  She glances over her shoulder at me and sighs with relief. “No, I won’t. I’m supposed to be taking pictures.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “For Calvin Klein.”

  Eve flashes me a huge fake grin. “Fine, I’ll stop. I know you have to look out for your girlfriend. So nice of you.”

  She walks away from me, camera around her neck, and goes right over to Elana, sitting down beside her. Elana springs up, shutting her book, obviously excited to have Eve chatting with her. I had planned to grab a book from my bag and sit near them, pretending not to listen, but before I can do that, Eve points to Elana’s schoolwork and starts speaking to her in French. Like really fast French. Accent and all. I can pick up a few words of French, but this conversation is totally lost on me.

  I stare at them, my mouth half-open, watching and hearing their words bounce back and forth. Elana looks very comfortable talking to Eve.

  “Are you eavesdropping or does it all sound like gibberish to you too?”

  Finley is standing beside me now, watching the same two girls that I’m watching. “Complete gibberish. They’re probably going to talk about us in French all week.”

  Finley laughs. “They might talk about you, but I’m usually out of the gossip circle. In fact, I like to remove any trace of rumors and personal information about anyone work-related from my mind.”

  I turn to her and roll my eyes. “That’s so not possible.”

  “It’s mostly possible. But you have to really not care and really not want to know details. Ignorance is bliss.” She bounces off to set, flipping her blond hair over her shoulder. Does she know Elana’s real age? If she does, it sounds like she’s denying it. She doesn’t want the responsibility of knowing. Especially if Finley’s going to be rooming with her soon.

  Someone slings an arm around my shoulders and steers me in the other direction. I turn and look at Wes who has appeared out of nowhere. “Hey…what are you doing here?”

  He drops his arm from my shoulders and nods toward the RV to our right. We step inside and Wes shuts the door. “I just got off the phone with a top designer, can’t say who yet, but I’ve snagged an invite for you and your girlfriend to her party tonight. There’re a few important people who would love to see the golden couple, maybe get a few pictures.”

  I sit down on the table and rub my eyes. “Have you checked with my girlfriend’s nanny yet?” I’m being a prick. I know I am. But I can’t help it.

  Wes folds his arms across his chest. “Have I ever steered you wrong? You’ve done nothing but move up since we’ve been working together, and I need you to give me a little bit of credit.”

  I let out a breath, feeling guilty. “Right. Okay, okay. I’ll be perfect tonight. Don’t worry.”

  “That’s what I like to hear,” Wes says. “I’ll have some clothes sent to your apartment and a car at eight. The driver can pick up Elana after so the pair of you can arrive and leave together. An hour or so should be good enough.”

  There’s a knock on the door, preventing me from responding. We both watch it open just a little and then Eve pokes her head in. “I’m supposed to tell you that Russ needs you ninety seconds ago.”

  I grab the doorknob and open it the rest of the way, not even thinking about what I’m doing. Eve gets one look at Wes, and her entire body goes completely rigid. Her eyes are wide, and I can tell she had no idea he was here.

  Elana is standing behind Eve. She says something in French and Eve turns around and answers her in French. I’ve already been given an out from this awkward moment, so I grab Elana’s hand and tug her away from the RV. “I think Russ needs us.”

  When I glance over my shoulder, Eve is still standing in the doorway.

  Chapter 11: Eve

  “Hi, Evie,” Wes says.

  When the hell did he get here, and why did Russ have to send me to fetch Alex? “Hi,” I manage to say.

  Wes walks closer and leans against the door frame right across from me. “How’s the shoot going so far? Do you miss being the star yet?”

  I ignore the first question because he probably has a better answer to that than I do and jump to the second question
. “Does it really matter if I miss it?”

  He shrugs, eyes locked on mine. I really wish he would stop with the direct eye contact thing. It’s so intense.

  “Thought you might miss it, that’s all,” he says.

  My heart is like a wild animal. I think it wants to run away as bad as the rest of me does. “Not really.”

  Why did he have to pick right now to decide to detach his eyeballs from his BlackBerry?

  “I find that hard to believe.” Something on the set drops or gets banged and it makes a loud clank. Wes keeps staring at me anyway, his attention not wavering for even a second. “I’ve made a few calls. It’s not over for you if you don’t want it to be.”

  My voice surfaces and somehow comes out even. “Yeah, I’ve heard Sears is casting. I’m jumping right on that one.”

  “Better than hiding out in Indiana,” he says. “Better than hiding behind the camera.”

  “I like being behind the camera.”

  “Have you had lunch yet?” Wes asks. “Let’s go out somewhere. Catch up.”

  Is he insane? Seriously. “I’m working.”

  He smiles at me in that way that used to turn me into girl-with-a-huge-crush mode. “I think I have enough pull to excuse you for an hour.”

  “Yeah, that’ll go over real well, Wes,” I snap. “I’m already dealing with all kinds of shit from everyone. Russ keeps telling me he’s so glad my recovery went well. I don’t need to add fuel to the fire by walking out the door with you.”

  “And whose fault is that? Who taught you to be a professional only to have you leave Gucci on the first day of shooting?” He sighs and shakes his head. “You’ve made your own reputation.”

  I spin around, turning my back on him. “I shouldn’t even be having this conversation here with you.”

  I make it about three steps before he grasps my arm, turning me around. “Where then, Evie? Where can we have this conversation? Come over to my place later.”

  He actually looks sincere, and I can’t help but think for a split second that this isn’t wrong anymore. It’s not illegal. I’m an adult and so is he. We don’t have a business relationship anymore. I’ve grown up and I might not piss him off and frustrate him as much as my younger self did.