Coletti Warlords: Vexing Voss

by Gail Koger

  My stomach roiled at the sensory assault of stinky patrons, stale booze, and the aroma of rancid cooking oil.

  A female Hus Ping scurried around the battered tables delivering food and drinks. The poor thing’s huge breasts were covered with bite marks, and what looked like semen dripped from the molting fur on her crotch. Ick.

  The male Hus Ping tending the bar resembled a five-hundred-pound teddy bear with really big teeth. Skulls of some long-dead creatures smiled a hideous welcome above a cracked mirror.

  We sat down at an empty table. An order screen popped to life. Well, I’ll be damned. Thanks to my merge with Voss, I could actually read it. Hmmm. Think I’d pass on the Death’s Hammer or whatever Kipto Piss was, and stick with something simple like beer. Their version of beer was called Datol, and Voss liked it a lot. “Are you old enough for Datol?”

  “Yes,” Hothar whispered, hypervigilant. His eyes constantly scanned the crowded bar.

  I tapped the screen. Voss’s credit link popped into my head, and I entered it.

  The waitress scurried over and set two bottles on the table. “Does the master want me to service him?”

  Hothar’s horrified gaze examined her from head to toe, and he quickly shook his head.

  Master? Was she kidding? I took in the vacant expression in her eyes and submissive posture. The girl needed an immediate intervention. Bet that asshole of a bartender beat her. Too bad there weren’t any domestic-violence shelters nearby. Wonder if the Overlord would mind an extra passenger?

  Zarek’s irritated growl sounded in my head. “I would mind a great deal.”

  “But she needs help.”

  “No, she does not. All Hus Ping females are like this one.”

  “That sucks big time.”

  “It is their culture. You cannot save her. Do you understand me?”

  “Sorry, sir, I just hate seeing women being abused.”

  “You should be more concerned with your own fate.” Zarek’s voice was harsh, implacable.

  Eeek! “My apologies, sir, but American women are raised to believe in equality for all.”

  “You and Kaylee have much in common.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “It wasn’t a compliment.”

  Oh crap. “Shutting up, sir.”

  “I’m monitoring your actions,” he stated, and poof, his terrifying presence was gone.

  Holy Mary, mother of God, the Overlord had left a tiny tentacle of power in my head. I’d be damned lucky if I didn’t end up mind-wiped by the end of the day.

  A weird buzzing noise filled my mind, and everything spun dizzily for a moment. What the hell?

  “Free me,” a tinny voice suddenly hissed.

  Sweet Jesus, was this some kind of test? I threw a cautious look around. “Um… Come again?”

  “Free me,” the voice hissed louder.

  I waited a moment, and when Zarek didn’t start threatening me, I asked, “Who are you? Where are you and why should I?”

  “I am called Bebo. The furry one locked me in this glass prison. Like you, I have no wish to be eaten alive.”

  Okay, that got my attention. “Who wants to eat you?”

  “The Tai-Kok. Open my cage door, and I will eat them instead.”

  Yeah, right. That sounded a bit too good to be true. He was probably planning on having us for dessert. “Where are you?”

  “Behind you.”

  I peered over my shoulder. Set into the wall behind me was a large dimly lit glass enclosure. My eyes bugged out when I noticed a long white tubular body pressed against the glass. Two eyestalks with bright yellow orbs stared at me. Around the head were wormy growths that never ceased twisting with a peculiar life of their own.

  What the freak was that? It kind of looked like a mutated monster snake.

  “Holy Goddess, a Gorum.” Hothar gasped in horror.

  “He wants me to free him.”

  “What? You can’t do that. Gorum are worse than the Tai-Kok. Every living creature on this space station will die if you release it.”

  Bebo’s eyestalks swiveled to regard Hothar. “You have my word I will only eat the Tai-Kok.”

  “And why should we believe you?”

  “They ate my mate. I listened to her screams as she died. I will have my vengeance.”

  I shivered. He was telling the truth. “No offense, but what’s to keep you from eating us when you are done with them?”

  “My word.”

  Hothar and I exchanged skeptical glances. “My world has been at war with the Tai-Kok and Rodan for a very long time, and it makes us a bit leery of trusting alien life-forms that can eat us. The bottom line is I don’t know anything about you.”

  “I am Qufu of my people.” Bebo rolled to one side, exposing a purple prism tattoo.

  Hothar shrugged. “I think he’s like a leader.”

  Searching Voss’s memories, I discovered the tattoo marked Bebo as king. “How in the hell did you end up on this crappy space station?”

  “I was betrayed and given to the Tai-Kok. They consider our flesh a delicacy.”

  Something else we had in common. If I didn’t check in with the big guy, I’d probably end up serving a life sentence in the breeder’s compound. I reached out to Voss.

  Oh my God! He was in the middle of a vicious firefight with the Rodan battle cruiser, and his ship’s shields were failing. Fear clenched my stomach. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help him. But on the bright side, the Battle Commander was having one hell of a good time, and he knew without a doubt he’d win. God, I hoped so. I needed him alive and well. The big guy was a part of me now, and I kind of liked the sex.

  Crap, now I’d have to ask Zarek. I gingerly touched his mind. Well, hell, he was fending off a dozen Tai-Kok fighters, and if I distracted him, he could end up dead. Hmmm. If I were a backstabbing bitch, it would be the perfect opportunity to get rid of the most powerful warrior in the universe.

  My internal radar screamed a warning. “You have a cloaked fighter coming up on your starboard side, sir.”

  Zarek made a daring banking maneuver, and the cloaked ship destroyed two of the Tai-Kok fighters by mistake. “Do you sense any more cloaked ships?”

  “No, sir, it’s just the one. If you come about 180 degrees to port and fire a torpedo, you’ll take him out.”

  To my utter surprise, the Overlord followed my instructions, and the ship exploded into a great ball of rippling flames. “You have a warrior’s instincts.”

  My link snapped abruptly when fire ants did the rumba in my head. Ouch! Dammit, that really hurt.

  “Balock’s balls,” Hothar gasped as eleven Tai-Kok warriors stormed into the room with lasers drawn.

  “Free me now!” Bebo cried.

  For a brief moment silence reigned as the patrons stared in drunken disbelief at the Tai-Kok. Then all hell broke loose as everyone went for their weapons.

  Hothar knocked me to the floor, and a scant second later laser bolts flew wildly in every direction. A jug of foul-smelling liquid shattered against the enclosure, followed by tables and a couple of chairs.

  To my horror, the Tai-Kok chomped their way through the combatants. “We’ve got to let Bebo out.”

  “He’ll eat us,” Hothar responded testily.

  “They will eat us, and I’m not dying that way.” I crawled over to the reinforced metal door. Jumping up, I hit the power switch and quickly opened it. “Don’t make me regret this.”

  Bebo reared up. His wormy growths abruptly clamped down on my right shoulder.

  “Let go!” A cry of agony broke from me as hundreds of tiny tentacles stung me repeatedly, and I couldn’t move a muscle. Sweet Jesus, he was gonna eat me.

  Hothar grabbed me around the waist and pulled. “Release her!”

  After a brief tug-of-war, Bebo dropped me and latched on to the kid.

  Hothar stood frozen as the tentacles stung his chest and arms.

  His guttural groans gave me the strength to fight
off the paralysis imprisoning me. I pulled my laser and leveled it at Bebo. “Let him go, or I will kill you.”

  His eyestalks swiveled around, and he released Hothar. “Be at ease, youngling, you now carry my mark and none of my kind will ever harm you.”

  “I’m sure that’s a great honor, but it wasn’t necessary. Just eat the bastards,” I snapped.

  “With great pleasure.” Moving at an incredible speed, Bebo literally swallowed two Tai-Kok warriors whole. A head bulged out from Bebo’s hide, and arms and legs kicked frantically within his suddenly expanding body.

  The combatants let out a collective cry of horror and immediately stampeded for the doors. The Hus Pings were right behind them.

  Several Tai-Kok warriors jumped on Bebo and tore great bloody chunks out of his hide.

  Hothar and I fired simultaneously, vaporizing them.

  The bodies inside Bebo stopped moving. His tentacles suddenly lengthened and whipped out, stinging three Tai-Kok warriors. Writhing in agony, they collapsed to the floor and were quickly stuffed inside the Gorum’s mouth.

  “Holy cow! How do they all fit?”

  “The Gorum’s stomachs secrete a very corrosive acid that turns all living matter into an instant fuel source. They have been known to consume over a hundred life-forms at one time,” Hothar answered. A killing rage simmering in his eyes, he efficiently shot down a charging Tai-Kok.

  Aw, the kid was turning into a lethal warrior right before my eyes. Voss would be so proud.

  Another Tai-Kok disappeared down Bebo’s maw, and the gaping wounds on his back healed.

  The remaining Tai-Kok turned tail and ran out the door.

  Emitting a high-pitched, squalling cry, Bebo followed them.

  I shuddered. As battle cries went, that one was pretty damn scary.

  Panicked quacking sounded from the passageway, and laser bolts ricocheted off the walls.

  “Holy hell, they’re gonna breach the hull.”

  Hothar teleported over, closed, and locked the door. “We need to find the Hus Ping’s control center.”

  I dashed to the bar, and sure enough an antiquated system was built into the counter. Hmmm. If I closed this hatch here, it would trap them in the airlock, and if Bebo didn’t eat them all, with one touch of a button I could expel them into space. Good thing the Gorum could teleport.

  Hothar popped in beside me and tapped an icon. A picture of the airlock formed midair. A kicking foot disappeared down Bebo’s maw, and he began to radiate a yellowish glow.

  Movement on a view screen caught my attention. “Well, lookie at that. I think the cowards are making a run for it.”

  Hitting another icon, Hothar brought up the exterior scanner. The Tai-Kok ship released its docking clamps and eased back from the station.

  I scanned it and linked with Bebo. “Do you have room for dessert?”

  “Always.”

  I flashed him a mental picture of the ship and the six warriors onboard. “Do you have enough power to teleport?”

  The Gorum vanished from the view screen. I guess that would be a yes.

  The Tai-Kok ship shot back from the space station and engaged its warp engines. Thirty seconds later it was gone. I sure hoped Bebo knew how to pilot a starship.

  One look at the gore-covered floor littered with body parts, and I let out a shaky sigh of relief. “We’re still alive. How amazing is that?”

  “Very.” Hothar picked up a bottle of Datol and chugged it down.

  I grabbed one and took a long swallow. “This stuff is pretty damned good.”

  “Nectar of the gods,” Hothar said, getting another bottle.

  Chapter Ten

  In the badly cracked mirror, I caught a glimpse of the blood and black grime coating my poor battered face and let out a horrified shriek. “Oh my God!”

  Hothar whipped out his laser. “What is wrong?”

  “I look like I went ten rounds with Muhammad Ali, and then got attacked by Smokey the Bear and a rabid chicken,” I cried.

  “What is a Smokey the Bear?”

  I threw up my hands in disgust. “Just forget it.”

  Holstering his weapon, Hothar approached me cautiously and awkwardly patted my shoulder. “Once the Battle Commander gives you blood, your injuries will heal quickly.”

  “Yippee.” One glance at his blackened face and a reluctant smile tugged at my sore mouth. “We make quite a pair.”

  With a grin, Hothar plucked several eggshells from my hair. “When it is time for me to pick a mate, I want one like you.”

  “Aw, that’s so sweet, but Earth girls aren’t easy to catch.”

  “Coletti warriors enjoy a good hunt.”

  “Earth girls don’t like being the prey either,” I countered with a frown.

  “But it makes the capture much more satisfying.”

  “Uh-huh. That merge with Zarek has warped your brain just a bit.”

  A joyful glee lit up Hothar’s eyes. “It has given me skills that would have taken me years to acquire.”

  Just what the universe needed, a teenager with all of Zarek’s talents. Voss would have to keep a close eye on him. “Does this piece of crap have a bathroom?”

  “A very crude one.”

  “How crude?”

  Hothar laughed. “A piss hole.”

  “Technology at its finest, huh?”

  “The Hus Ping are scavengers who use what other species throw away to survive.”

  “Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.”

  “Everyone is very surprised this space station still functions,” Hothar said, playing with the controls.

  “Me too. I thought for sure we’d have a hull breach during that firefight.” I surveyed the funky-looking drink nozzles. They kind of reminded me of water hoses. One of them had to be water. Right?

  I picked up a nozzle and triggered it. Whoa! The thing came alive in my hand, bucking and twisting as it shot some nasty-smelling black liquid across the bar. “Help!”

  Hothar reached over and hit the Off button.

  “Thanks. There’s way too much pressure on that thing.”

  “Kipto Piss must be pressurized or it goes bad.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Smells like really stinky feet.”

  “Tastes like it too.”

  Very cautiously I tried the other nozzles. Nope. Zip. Nada. No wonder the space station stank to high heavens. There was no water.

  I sucked down another Datol and looked for something to clean my face with. The few ratty rags on the bar were slimy and a yucky green color. Cleanliness evidently wasn’t in the Hus Pings’ vocabulary.

  The only things in the dozen or so drawers were dirty glasses and utensils. One peek into the Hus Pings’ private quarters, and I hastily shut the door. It smelled like something had died in there and they had forgotten to bury it.

  My stomach rumbled loudly, and I ambled back to the bar and looked for something to eat. There were several pots sitting on what resembled an old-fashioned Earth camp stove. I removed the lid and almost puked. It was full of eyeballs and what looked like worms. Ewww.

  The other pot held some kind of rancid-smelling stew that all the chocolate in the universe couldn’t get me to taste.

  A basket of breadsticks caught my gaze. I picked one up and smelled it. It wasn’t rancid. I took a cautious bite and immediately spat it out. Oh dear God, it was like eating moldy poop. Ugh. That was just plain nasty. I grabbed a bottle of Datol and drained it, trying to get the taste out of my mouth.

  A tremendous power flooded the bar, and I felt Zarek’s shock as he scanned the space station. “What happened?”

  “A Gorum got loose, and the Tai-Kok ran away. Except for the ones Bebo ate, spikes and all.”

  Hothar groaned.

  The Overlord sifted through my memories and growled in utter disbelief, “You released the Gorum?”

  “You bet your ass I did, and Bebo ate the Tai-Kok just like he promised. Problem solved, and we have the space station all
to ourselves.”

  “Bebo the warrior king?”

  “That would be him.”

  “Your luck is truly amazing.”

  “Not that I’ve noticed. I mean, everyone I’ve loved has gotten killed, and then you guys show up and… Um, never mind. It’s not important, but Voss could really use some help, sir. His shields are failing.”

  “I am aware of that. We will discuss your actions later.”

  “Okeydokey, smoky.”

  His eyes full of horrified alarm, Hothar backed away from me. What? Did he think the Overlord was going to smite me? Okay, it was a distinct possibility.

  Zarek asked a little too calmly, “How many Datols have you consumed?”

  Good question. “Three, I think. No. More like four or maybe five. There’s no water on this stupid piece of space junk, and I’m really thirsty.”

  “No more Datol for either of you.”

  “Spoilsport,” I muttered under my breath. A sharp pain suddenly zapped me in the butt. I let out a yelp and jumped about a foot.

  Steel in his voice, Zarek asked, “Do I have your attention now?”

  “Yes, sir, no more beer.”

  “Excellent. We will come for you shortly.” Poof, the pain in my ass was gone.

  “You are truly insane,” Hothar said.

  “Am not.” I tripped over a broken chair and would have fallen flat on my face if Hothar hadn’t caught me.

  He plunked me on the bar. “You are also drunk.”

  “I’ll admit I’m a bit buzzed, but drunk? No way.”

  Taking his bodyguard duties way too seriously, Hothar snatched my bottle of Datol. “Are you even able to fight?”

  Rolling my eyes, I checked on the big guy again. Drats! Voss was still shooting it out with the Rodan battle cruiser. His shields were now down to 30 percent, and if he took a direct hit on his starboard side, he would lose life support on several decks. Was he worried? Hell no.

  Zarek had joined the fight and was hammering the shit out of the battle cruiser’s engines.

  I whooped loudly when the port engine blew, and almost fell off the bar when Hothar let out a fierce battle cry. The kid had a set of lungs on him. I guess his link with the Overlord allowed him to watch the battle too.