Forsaken

by Cyndi Friberg

  He pulled/dragged her off the bed and was ridiculously relieved when her legs supported her. Her face remained expressionless, eyes vacant. Had the useless healer wiped her mind completely? He turned her toward him and shook her harder. “Chandar!” He shouted right in her face and she didn’t so much as blink.

  Was this an act? The clever bitch could be waiting until he took her out of the club to make her escape. It wouldn’t be all that hard in this bustling outpost. He wouldn’t put anything past her. Not taking any chances, he contacted his ship. “Is the bio-stream engine still on line?”

  “Yes, sir,” Fyran responded. “Is there a problem?”

  “Chandar isn’t feeling well. Stream us to her cabin.”

  “Do you mean your cabin, sir?” There was a wealth of meaning behind the simple question. Rumors had been flying ever since he allowed Chandar to sleep across the hall from him. He had always been extremely picky about who he allowed near his harbinger. The crew was fervently hoping that was about to change.

  “No. The cabin directly across from mine, but she is still off limits. Is that understood?”

  “Of course, sir.”

  He pulled Chandar closer and wrapped his arm around her waist. She didn’t struggle or pull away, which made Akim even more uncomfortable. They materialized in the designated cabin and Akim pushed her to arm’s length. “It’s all right now. You’re home.”

  Life sparked within her silver-ringed eyes. Loathing gradually animated her features and she shoved him back so hard he nearly lost his footing. “This has never been, nor will it ever be, my home.”

  Thank the gods! He’d never been so relieved to hear belligerence.

  She moved to the bed like an automaton and sat with her hands folded in her lap. Her features fell back into an expressionless mask, but he wasn’t fooled. This was just another way of defying him. She obviously remembered that she hated him. He needed to determine which, or if any, of her memories had been scrubbed. Luckily, he’d chosen a physician for the crew who had extensive experience with memory manipulation.

  “Eat something or I’ll have you force-fed.” He tossed the directive over his shoulder as he reached the door.

  “Fuck off and die.” Even spoken in a hushed monotone, the words had never sounded sweeter.

  Chapter Five

  Raina shifted her laptop to the bed beside her as the long list of files copied to the thumb drive protruding from the computer. Ashley would arrive tomorrow morning, expecting an answer and Raina still wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. Yesterday had been a confusing mixture of reflection and anticipation. Kotto was offering her an opportunity to interact with an alien species. She would explore an outpost on the moon and have access to technologies humans could only imagine. How could anything on Earth compare with that?

  Knowing she’d share the adventure with her best friend should have solidified her decision, but Raina kept coming back to Kotto’s kiss. For the first time in her life, Raina had felt truly desired and it scared her to death. She’d grown accustomed to people, men in particular, only seeing her as a scientist. She felt secure in that role, protected by her esthetic mediocrity.

  An image sparked within her mind and Raina tensed. Her cousin Indigo was anything but mediocre, and she also carried the blood of their Rodyte grandfather. Their mothers were identical twins, so it wasn’t surprising that they spent a lot of time together, which in turn created a closeness between their daughters. Should she warn Indigo that…that what? Aliens might be snooping around because she wasn’t entirely human? Yeah, that had worked out really well for Mimi.

  Unable to ignore the impulse entirely, she picked up her phone and activated Indigo’s number. She could at least make sure her cousin was all right.

  “Hey, Rain. Isn’t it past your bedtime?” As usual, good-natured humor threaded through Indigo’s tone.

  She glanced at the time on her computer screen. “It’s not even ten yet and it’s two hours earlier in Colorado.”

  “Yeah, but you’re so old.” Indigo laughed.

  Raina was about to turn thirty and Indigo never passed up an opportunity to tease her about it. “I’ll try to stay awake long enough to remember why I called you.”

  “Did you receive my care package?”

  She could picture Indigo’s expression, her bright smile, sparkling blue eyes that perfectly matched her sky-blue hair. Aunt Laura, Indigo’s mother, kept hoping Indigo would outgrow her need for “self-expression through body modification”, but so far Indigo’s creative urges were still going strong.

  “Well, did you?”

  The prompt drew Raina back to the present and she glanced at the open box on her dresser. It contained a mixture of herbs, essential oils and nutritional supplements, each meant to combat the effects of ageing. The merchandise doubtlessly came from Holistic Wellness Zone, the wildly successful business Indigo and Laura co-owned.

  “It arrived yesterday, you smartass.” Raina rested her head back against the headboard with a helpless smile. “What would I do without you?”

  “Always there for you, Rain. So what’s up?”

  “One of my former students kept contacting me during the break. I had to exclude him from the program for this coming year. He made some pretty ugly threats, said he’d mess me up and hunt down anyone I care about and mess them up too. I’m ninety percent sure he was just mouthing off but—after what happened to Luna, I’m not taking any chances.” The incident was true and she’d meant to call Indigo a couple of days earlier, but then she’d been kidnapped by aliens.

  “What’s he look like?”

  “He’s all over social media. I’ll send you a link to his page. But he could send someone else to check things out, so watch out for anyone acting strangely.”

  Indigo chuckled. “My shop’s two blocks from the Pearl Street Mall. We take pride in our strange characters.”

  “All right. Acting suspiciously then. Just take this seriously, all right?”

  A soft sigh came over the line, then Indigo said, “I miss her too, but I’ll be careful. I promise.”

  “Good. Now I better get some sleep. Old people are like that.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” She ended the call with a sigh of her own and set the phone down on her nightstand. Luna’s image formed in the back of Raina’s mind, beckoning her toward memories she hated, yet cherished. Luna, her older sister, had been stunning, as close to physical perfection as Raina had ever seen. Luna landed a modeling contract at fourteen and signed with a major modeling agency two years later. For the next twenty-three months Luna lived the dream, her image graced the cover of glitzy magazines and she was a high-fashion darling traveling from New York to Paris, Milan, even Tokyo. Then it all went horribly, tragically wrong.

  “You’re not Luna,” she whispered to the shadows as she forced the memories back into submission.

  And Kotto didn’t want her because of her appearance. He wanted her because of her genetics. She shivered and stared off into space, lost in the memory of their kiss. It wasn’t like she was a blushing virgin. She’d given in to peer pressure and experimented with sex, but she’d been completely underwhelmed with the experience. Yet Kotto had made her feel more with one searing kiss than—

  It didn’t matter. If she agreed to his terms, she would approach each task with scientific objectivity. She was not some sex-starved female, desperate for a male. As she’d told him, she was not in the market for a mate. Her life was well-organized and predictable, just the way she liked it. Or at least it had been until Kotto “streamed” her up to his ship.

  Her laptop pinged, telling her the copy was complete. “Oh Mimi, I hope you can see what’s happening. It wasn’t all in vain.” She pulled the thumb drive out of the port and powered down the computer. Her grandmother had made a promise to a desperate friend many years ago. Now Raina was going to make sure that promise was fulfilled. Even if she decided not to go, she’d give Mimi’s journals to Ashley, s
o they could be entered into the Wisdom of the Ages where they belonged.

  Who was she kidding? Of course she was going to go. Scientific curiosity demanded that she take full advantage of this opportunity. And that was the only reason she was going.

  With that context firmly locked into her mind, she turned off the bedside lamp and snuggled down into the covers, determined to fall asleep. She closed her eyes and released the tension in her muscles as she willed her mind to be still. A strange weightless lethargy crept over her body. She felt almost drugged, utterly relaxed yet not really sleepy.

  For long, silent moments she hung suspended in space. Then the mattress beneath her shifted and her eyes flew open. She could see the familiar outline of her furniture, yet she was also aware that she hadn’t actually moved. It was dream-like, yet not a dream, more like a fantasy or a vision over which she had no control.

  Fear tingled down her spine as she turned her head. Then a startled gasp tore from her throat. Kotto lay beside her, head propped on his hand, elbow bent against the bed.

  “Did you need something?” he asked with a lazy smile.

  “What are you… How did you get in here?” She dragged the sheet to her chin as she sat up, which only revealed more of his bare chest. Was he completely naked or just—what was he doing in her bedroom, in her bed?

  “I’m not really here.” He sounded almost apologetic, but mischief gleamed in his eyes. He looked exotic and sexy, not to mention entirely too comfortable sprawled across her bed.

  “Good. Then go back to where you really are.” If this was an illusion, it was the most convincing illusion she’d ever experienced in her life. She tentatively reached out and her fingertips encountered warm, bare flesh. “I can feel you,” she cried. “What the hell is this?”

  “It’s called dream sharing and it’s a function of my com-bots.” He made it sound so rational, so casual, as if people popped in uninvited all the time.

  “But I don’t have com-bots, so how am I receiving this transmission?”

  “Damn good question. Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer.”

  She scooted to the edge of the bed, dragging the covers with her. “End the transmission right now. You shouldn’t be here.” Hadn’t she just convinced herself that their interaction would be strictly professional? She was not interested in being seduced by an alien, even one as appealing as Kotto.

  “I’ve been trying, but I didn’t instigate the connection so I can’t seem to shut it down.”

  “Then who did instigate it?” She looked around, half afraid she’d find someone lurking in the shadows. “Why would someone else want you in my bed?”

  “Another good question.” He shrugged. “Again, I don’t have the answer.”

  He hadn’t pounced on her, hadn’t even touched her, so she tried to relax. Even while he held her captive, he’d treated her with respect. “Are you in bed as well?”

  “I was drifting off to sleep when I felt someone activate my com-bots. I fought against the connection, but whoever is doing this is incredibly strong.”

  “Why aren’t you afraid?” He had more experience with these sorts of things than she did, but Kotto was all about control. Surely he wasn’t comfortable participating in a situation into which he’d been forced. “What if they won’t release the…whatever this is?”

  A sexy grin parted his lips. “Then I suppose we’ll have to find something to entertain us.”

  “How can you be so casual? Someone forced their way into our minds and is controlling what we experience.”

  “No. They created a connection we didn’t invite, but they aren’t controlling what we’re experiencing.”

  “How can you be so sure?” The longer he lounged beside her, all calm and nonchalant, the more agitated she became. “You should be angry at the very least. What aren’t you telling me?”

  He reached over and covered her hand with his. “I’m pretty sure I know who’s doing this. You don’t need to be afraid. It’s more or less harmless.”

  “Then tell me. Who is doing this and why are they screwing with us?”

  A warm chuckle rumbled through his chest. “His name is Letos. He’s a technomage. My brother warned me about him.”

  “What’s a technomage?”

  “They’re a group of Rodytes who emulate true magic using extensive implants and nanobots. Letos is one of the best. This is well within his capabilities.”

  That explained why Kotto wasn’t freaking out, but what did Letos gain by creating this situation? “Why is he doing this?”

  “I think it’s his way of telling me to try harder.”

  “Try harder to do what?”

  With one fast, smooth motion, he pulled her into his arms. “Convince you to join the rebellion.” He brushed the hair back from her face and gazed deep into her eyes. “He thinks if I seduce you, you’ll have no choice but to cooperate. And he’s not the only one to make the suggestion. His prompting is just more creative than the others.”

  Fully dressed Kotto had felt strong and impressive. Mostly naked he stole her breath. His arm supported her shoulders, while her side pressed against his chest. She was afraid to reach down and find out he wasn’t wearing anything at all. “This can’t be about sex. I don’t make decisions with my libido.”

  “I know. That’s why I let you go.” His lips skimmed over her brow, then teased her temple. “If you’d stayed on the ship, there’s no way I would have been able to keep my hands off you.”

  His fingers swept down her neck and tingles trailed in their wake. She shivered and turned her face away, needing a minute away from his hypnotic appeal. “That’s not encouraging. Our relationship has to be professional or I won’t help you.”

  “I will conduct myself with the utmost professionalism.” He paused as he turned her head back around. “While we’re working.”

  The stipulation sent desire ricocheting through her body. He hadn’t even kissed her, yet already she ached for him. “And when we’re not working?”

  His mouth sealed over hers, answering her with actions rather than words. She braced for the sensory tumult his other kiss unleashed. Feeling completely out of control was exhilarating. It was also terrifying. Her life was logic and structure, but Kotto existed in a world beyond her concept of reality. How could she hope to make sense out of these feelings?

  He eased her down onto her back and arched over her, half on and half beside her. His fingers tangled in her hair, anchoring her head at just the right angle. Pinned beneath him, surrounded by him, she felt sheltered rather than helpless, which was irrational. So much of this was irrational. They kissed and kissed until they were both breathless and Raina forgot all the reasons they shouldn’t be doing this.

  “Are you sure this isn’t real?” She stroked his chest, fascinated by the sculpted contour and the surprising softness of his skin. “You feel pretty real to me.”

  “Reality is relative, especially when a technomage is involved.” He found the hem of her nightshirt and eased it up. His fingers found bare skin and they both groaned. “If you’re going to stop me, do it now.”

  “I don’t want to.” Half a second later, she grabbed his wrist. “But I need to. This can’t be about sex.”

  With a heavy sigh, he pulled his hand away from her torso and rested it on the pillow beside her face. “It is about sex. Nothing can change that. But it’s not only about sex. I can’t pretend I don’t want you. I will not live a lie.”

  “I don’t want you to pretend, but I expect you to behave. Even when others are making that difficult.” He rolled to her side, taking his warmth with him. She fought back the urge to crawl on top of him and pick up where they’d left off. “Thank you.” He raised his arms and folded his hands behind his head. She rolled to her side, so she could look at him without straining her neck. “Do you think he’s watching us?”

  “No or he’d have released the connection. You’ve made your feelings perfectly clear.” He sounded annoyed and he stare
d up at the ceiling.

  She started to apologize then stopped herself. They’d only known each other for two days. Why should she apologize for not wanting to have sex with him? She refused to feel pressured by biological compatibility. Just because they could mate didn’t mean they should.

  “Have you made up your mind about the job?” He glanced at her, though his features were still tense.

  “I thought I had, but maybe we need to clarify a few things before I sign the contract.”

  His jaw clenched then released. “You asked me to stop and I stopped. I won’t apologize for kissing you.”

  “Will I have my own cabin?”

  He turned his head, apparently insulted by the question. “Of course. Despite the current situation, I don’t go where I’m not welcome.”

  “I wasn’t inferring that you do. I was just—”

  “Afraid you’d be forced to share my bed every night?”

  That had been her fear, more or less. She’d pictured spending her days working on the outpost and her nights wrestling with him. The problem was, she hadn’t found the idea offensive. “You’re right. I’m not being fair. You’ve been the perfect gentleman.”

  He laughed and dragged her on top of him. “No one has ever accused me of that before.”

  She folded her legs to either side of his hips and sat up. He wasn’t completely naked. Thank God. He wore the Rodyte version of boxer briefs, which left little to the imagination. “I didn’t mean it as an insult.”

  He sat as well then scooted back against the headboard. “You’re not afraid of sex. It’s more like indifference. I don’t think you’ve had many lovers and the ones you have had didn’t know what in creation they were doing.”

  She gasped and felt her cheeks heat. “That is an incredibly arrogant conclusion.”

  “Really?” His voice turned dark and smoky. “Why?”

  “You’re inferring that the reason I won’t have sex with you is because I’ve never been with someone as good in bed as you.”

  He ran his hands up her thighs and squeezed her hips. “It’s not arrogance. It’s biology. If you’ve only been with human men, then you’ve never experienced a physical joining the way it was meant to be.”