Forsaken

by Cyndi Friberg

  “We won’t know how picky we can be until we determine how many hybrid females we can locate and see how many of them are willing to participate in the program.” Irron rubbed the back of his neck. “There are still so many unknowns.”

  “I say we leave it up to the male,” Raylon proposed. “If a male is willing to take on the responsibility of another’s offspring, he should have that right.”

  Irron turned to Sental. “Sounds like we need an algorithm, maybe some sort of a scoring system that will sort through all these variables.”

  “FindRodyteLove.com?” Ashley chuckled. “It sounds like a dating website.”

  Irron was the only one who smiled. “They have no idea what you’re talking about, but you’re not far wrong. Genetic compatibility will be the first hurdle. Still, factoring in all this other information will make each joining more likely to succeed.”

  “Can you organize this into a summary for Garin?” Bandar asked.

  Irron nodded. “I’ll have it to you before the end of the day.” Then he winked at Ashley and said, “Better go check on your friend. She’s probably had a good cry and is ready to talk to someone about these irrational men.”

  Chapter Nine

  Raina wiped away the last of her tears as the computer announced her visitor. “Ashley Kane to see you. Shall I let her in?”

  “Yes.”

  The cabin Kotto had reserved for her seemed small after spending time in his spacious quarters. At least it was on the same deck as Ashley and Bandar. But then it was on the same deck as Kotto and Raylon too. The bed was tucked against one wall, a small sitting area arranged against the other with a food dispenser that she hadn’t quite figured out.

  She quickly moved from the bed to the sofa as the door opened, admitting her friend. “Did you get everything all figured out?”

  Ashley smiled despite Raina’s frosty tone. “The meeting’s over, but there are still countless details to be worked out.”

  Rather than wasting an hour with frustrating small talk, Raina just blurted it out. “I didn’t want Kotto’s attention, but he’s much more charming than he likes people to realize. Raylon is…I don’t want to be alone with Raylon. He scares the shit out of me.”

  Ashley sat in the chair facing Raina, her expression compassionate yet thoughtful. “Your reaction is completely understandable. The first time I saw Raylon and Kotto, I wanted to run for cover. They arrived in battle armor to relieve Kotto’s brother of command.”

  “Kotto had to arrest his own brother?” Her heart lurched and more unwanted tears gathered behind her lashes. “That’s cruel.”

  “Raylon did the actual demotion, but Kotto had to stand there and watch it. Anyway, that wasn’t my point. What I’m trying to explain is I thought they were both savage. Then I spent time with Kotto and realized he’s not nearly as bad as he first seemed.”

  “I don’t want to spend time with Raylon.” She looked down as heat spread across her face. “I want Kotto.”

  “Are you in love with him?”

  Her gaze shot back to Ashley’s and Raina shook her head. “I can’t be. It’s way too soon.”

  Ashley moved to the couch, a dreamy smile curing her lips. “I thought the same thing with Bandar. I didn’t really know him, so how could I possibly love him.”

  “But,” Raina prompted.

  “But Rodytes experience intimacy differently than humans. We have access to our partners in a way humans will never really understand.”

  One of Raina’s brows arched at Ashley’s statement. She wasn’t surprised by the assertion, but Ashley’s tendency to include herself with Rodytes rather than humans was starting to annoy. “You consider yourself Rodyte now? Both of your biological parents were human. You’ve lived your entire life on Earth. One month in Bandar’s arms and you’re no longer human?”

  “I’m a hybrid. So are you.” Ashley kept her tone even, but emotions Raina couldn’t quite identify sparked within Ashley’s eyes. “As for the rest, the last month of my life has been honest and illuminating. I’ve learned things about myself that finally made the rest of my life make sense.”

  “I’m sorry.” Raina spread her hands, expressing her helplessness. “None of this is your fault. I’m just all twisted up inside.”

  “Did Kotto share his emotions with you last night?”

  Raina shook her head as memories flooded her mind. What they had shared had been nearly overwhelming. If she’d been able to feel Kotto’s emotions along with everything else, it likely would have been too much.

  “Bandar and I have just started to bond, but it’s like nothing I ever imagined. We don’t just share our bodies with each other. We meld on a spiritual level.” She shook her head. “I know that sounds hokey, but it can’t really be explained. It has to be experienced.”

  “That’s the problem. I can imagine allowing that sort of exchange with Kotto. With Raylon.” She shuddered and shook her head. “He’s too…mean.”

  “I’ll let Bandar know how you feel and we’ll play chaperone, but I don’t think you can avoid him completely. Soul bonding is a permanent decision. You can’t even start deliberation until you have all the facts. You owe it to yourself to at least talk to him.”

  With a frustrated sigh, Raina pushed to her feet. “This is so unlike me. I’ve always considered myself a strong, independent woman. I live alone, provide for myself and depend on no one for anything. I’m competent and driven, so why do these men make me feel weak and helpless?”

  “I think they like it that way.” Ashley flashed a conspirator’s smile. “They can’t swoop in and rescue us if we’re doing fine on our own.”

  Ready to think about something else, anything else, Raina said, “Kotto said you agreed to be the first test subject. Is that true?”

  “At first I agreed because I know how much it means to Bandar, but I spent several hours with Irron and he explained all the possible advantages there could be for me. Now I’m as excited for me as I am for Bandar.”

  “Excited? Aren’t you scared? You’ll be literally transformed into someone else.”

  “That’s not true.” It was obvious Ashley believed it, but Raina wasn’t nearly as convinced. “My genetics will go through a controlled mutation, but who I am won’t change. I’ll just live longer, be more resistant to diseases and maybe, just maybe, I’ll absorb some of the magic locked inside Bandar.”

  Raina just shook her head. Trying to talk Ashley out of it was obviously a waste of time, but Raina couldn’t pretend to be happy Ashley had agreed to do this. “I won’t even buy a car the first year it comes out. There’s no way I’d be the first to undergo something like this.”

  “No, you’re going to be the second.” Ashley stood and gave Raina a quick hug. “By the way, Bandar asked me about your relatives this morning. He wanted to know if you had brothers or sisters. I told him no, but it won’t take him long to work his way around to cousins. Is Indigo an only child?”

  “She is. Aunt Laura had trouble conceiving. So did Mom. I wonder if that’s a side effect of being a hybrid?”

  “Irron would know.” Raina accepted the suggestion with a nod and Ashley motioned toward the door. “We’re going to head over. Bandar has arranged for a work crew to get started on taming the jungle.”

  “That’s great. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

  “Do you want us to wait for you?” Ashley hesitated by the door. “An escort isn’t required now that you’re marked, but I understand if you’d rather walk over with us.”

  “I’m an adult.” Raina squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “I need to start acting like one.”

  “Got it.” Ashley waved goodbye as the door opened. “See you over there.”

  Raina splashed some cool water on her face and worked her hair into a braid. Feeling more herself, she grabbed her datapad, the Rodyte version of a tablet computer, and headed out. The door parted and she found herself face-to-face with Raylon. Or more like face-to-throat. Damn these
Rodytes were tall.

  “Dr. Solano,” he greeted.

  She had a PHD, so that was technically her title. But how had he known? Even Kotto called her Ms. Solano when they first met. “Just Raina is fine.”

  “Raina.” His head dipped, but his expression didn’t change. He looked hard and assessing, yet not nearly as mean as he had earlier. “I came to apologize. What transpired between Kotto and me was inexcusable. I regret that you witnessed the exchange.”

  Even spoken in his deep, commanding tone it sounded like a speech he’d been required to memorize. She stepped forward and the door slid shut behind her. “Do Rodytes frequently settle disagreements in the ‘training cage’?” With the datapad pressed against her chest, she headed for the nearest elevator.

  He fell in step beside her, keeping as much distance between them as the hallway allowed. “It’s a popular option, I’ll admit.”

  “Well, I’m sorry I called you an asshole. That wasn’t very professional.”

  “I’ve made a horrible first impression.” He smiled and his features softened, somewhat. This was not a man who would ever be described as soft. “I hope you’ll give me another chance.” They stepped into the elevator and the doors closed. “Where are you headed?”

  “To the jungle.”

  “Deck four.” His command set the elevator in motion and he rubbed his nose.

  She’d thought he was being polite in the corridor, trying not to crowd or frighten her. Was he bothered by Kotto’s scent? “How does it affect you?”

  He looked at her quizzically. “How does what affect me?”

  “The mark Kotto left on me?” She thought mark sounded less provocative than scent.

  “It makes me restless and aggressive.” He held up his hand, palm toward her. “But not toward you. I want it clear that I would never hurt you.”

  She’d felt an instant attraction to Kotto. Was his mark keeping her from feeling the same attraction toward Raylon? She could imagine how he’d react to that question, so she tucked it away in the back of her mind. She’d ask Ashley later, or even Bandar would be a better choice than Raylon.

  They reached level four and the elevator opened. He matched her step for step, so she finally stopped near the airlock and asked, “Was there something else?”

  “I’ll see you safely to your destination.”

  Rodytes had a habit of making statements rather than asking questions. “That’s not necessary.”

  “I disagree.”

  She’d already figured out that she had to pick her battles with these guys and this one wasn’t worth fighting. “Thank you.”

  Rather than compete with the work crews restoring order to the commerce tiers, he waited until they reached the first residential village to ask, “How is your project progressing? Are you going to be able to restore the existing system or will you need to install a new one?”

  “I’m not sure yet. I only received my language infusion yesterday, so I haven’t had time to go over the documentation.”

  “I see.”

  She answered his other questions as they passed through the outpost, but she couldn’t help remembering how different it had felt when Kotto had taken her on this same tour. Kotto made her feel comfortable or tingly, while Raylon just made her nervous.

  They reached the entrance to the agricultural quadrant, but Raylon paused a couple of steps back from the door. “I want to spend time with you, Raina. I’m hoping we can get to know each other better. But until his scent fades, I’ll be horrible company.”

  “I understand.” This was a stay of execution not an acquittal to put it in terms her mother would understand.

  “Then I’ll see you in about a week.”

  She nodded, acknowledging the statement. All this really meant was she had a week to decide how seriously she wanted to take Raylon as a suitor. If he was her genetic match and Kotto’s scent only affected other males, why hadn’t she felt an attraction toward Raylon?

  * * * * *

  Raina employed a familiar strategy to get through the next week. She worked so hard that by the time she stumbled into her cabin each night all she could think about was sleep. She quickly decided repairing the existing nutrient dispensing system would be faster and easier than ripping out all of the equipment and replacing it, even if newer technology offered more options.

  As she entered her cabin on day two, the computer informed her that she had a holomessage.

  “Please activate the message or show it to me or whatever.”

  “‘Play message’ is the usual response.” It hadn’t taken long to figure out the computer in her cabin was in some sort of tutorial mode. She wasn’t sure if it was standard procedure whenever a cabin was assigned or if Kotto had anticipated her need for assistance. Either way, she was grateful.

  “Play message.”

  A beam of light dropped down from the ceiling then expanded into a life-size image of Kotto. “I promised to keep my hands off you. I never said I wouldn’t think about you night and day.” Heat rolled through her body and her heart swelled with emotions she didn’t dare name. “Knowing you’re only four doors away is driving me crazy. I want you with me, snuggled up next to me as we sleep. After we’ve exhausted each other, of course.” He smiled and slowly shook his head. “I don’t know how I’m going to last five more days.”

  The image blinked off and Raina’s heart sank. “Computer, can I record a response?”

  “Of course, Raina. Would you like to create a visual response or reply with audio only?”

  She glanced down and frowned. She’d just returned from the jungle and her appearance reflected the day’s vigorous activities. Still, if Kotto was missing her as badly as she was missing him, it wouldn’t matter. “Audio and visual both.”

  “Begin whenever you’re ready and say ‘end message’ when you’ve finished.”

  She wasn’t sure where to look, so she just started speaking. “I miss you too, Kotto. It’s been less than two days. So why does it feel like forever?” She crossed her arms, rubbing her hands up and down. “I still don’t understand a lot of this, but we were starting to make sense.” She paused, not sure what else to say. “I don’t want to start over and I certainly don’t want to be with anyone else. I know that’s not fair to Raylon, but I can’t make myself care right now.” After indulging in a frustrated sigh, she added, “I know you promised not to touch me, so your honor is on the line. That’s the only reason I’m not knocking on your door right now.” Before she could sound even more desperate, she said, “End message.”

  “Shall I send the message now or would you like to schedule the delivery for later?”

  “Send it now.”

  Silence descended on the cabin as Raina started to undress. It was still relatively early, but she didn’t feel like socializing. She’d meant what she said in the message, but hearing the words also made her feel guilty. They were being horribly unfair to Raylon. He hadn’t done anything wrong and yet he’d been shut out of a very important opportunity. What if she was the only female on Earth compatible with his DNA? It was hard to think about Raylon objectively when Kotto was already integrated into her system.

  The following morning, Raina was still restless and work was no longer an adequate distraction. Bandar was supervising the large work crew Kotto had assigned to help them tame the jungle, which left Raina and Ashley more or less alone.

  “How much do you know about the physiology of Rodyte mating?” Ashley’s shocked expression made Raina laugh. “Not the actual mating. I’m pretty sure I understand that part. I meant the attraction phase. Kotto said males are drawn to a potential mate by her scent, but often touch is needed to ignite the attraction for the female.”

  “You know more about it than I do.” Ashley set her datapad on the shelf to her right as she looked at Raina. They were cleaning out the largest of three storerooms and establishing an inventory. Raina couldn’t figure out what she would need to get this place running again until they d
etermined which supplies were already on hand. “Bandar touched me moments after we met, so I never noticed the difference.”

  “He touched you how?” It was easy to picture Bandar backing Ashley into the nearest wall and kissing her senseless. Rodytes had no interest in being politically correct. They celebrated their predatory nature and made no apologies for their aggression.

  “There was nothing romantic about it. I was bleeding to death at the time,” Ashley reminded.

  “That’s right. Letos stabbed you, so Bandar picked you up and took you to Dr. Irron.”

  “Why the questions? I thought you’d pretty much made up your mind.”

  “I have, but what if I only feel this certain about Kotto because Raylon hasn’t touched me yet?”

  Ashley’s eyes widened and her mouth formed a dramatic O. “Don’t let Kotto hear you talk like that.”

  “He might not like the idea of Raylon touching me, but he wouldn’t want to bond with someone who isn’t confident in the decision to join with him.”

  “Or he’d work even harder to make you confident,” Ashley predicted. “Rodytes are tenacious. Trust me. Kotto wouldn’t let you go without a fight.” She chuckled then added, “Or should I say another fight?”

  Raina knew Ashley was right, but none of this was helping Raina resolve the conflict. “Raylon stopped by my cabin after you left the other day and apologized.”

  “Meaning, you’re not afraid of him anymore?”

  “That’s part of it.” She moved a case of nitrogen-infused gel from one side of the wide shelves to the other. “But mostly, I don’t want to slam the door in his face without even giving him a chance. It just doesn’t seem right.”

  Ashley nodded as she picked up her datapad. “I get it. If you don’t at least let him touch you, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.”

  “This way, I’ll have no doubt that Kotto and I are meant to be together.”

  The next few days flew by once Raina focused on her goals. The work crew had made incredible progress in six short days. The paths crisscrossing the jungle had been restored and about half of the sprawling plant beds had been tamed. Unfortunately, many of the original plants had been completely choked out by the overgrowth, so Raina would have to start from scratch. The setback didn’t discourage her, however. She used the loss as an opportunity to organize the layout more to her liking.